Changing you and your focus.

How to change you and your focus in life is simple, just not easy. You just have to reprogram yourself. And it takes a long time.

I’m going through a tough time with my sisters and father. My mother passed away suddenly about two years ago and my father spent the time since her passing in the bottle.

He was an alcoholic growing up but gave it up about 15 years ago because a doctor told him it was killing him. So he quit. Simple, not easy.

But my father is a great man when it comes to stuff like that. He had smoked for 18 years and a doctor told him the more he smoked going into surgery, the less likely he was to wake up. So he quit.

He retired a couple of years before my mom passed so once she was gone, he had no reason to get up in the morning. It’s easier for me than for my sisters because once he started drinking I knew it wouldn’t be long and I excepted his passing and spiraling health.

It is also easier for me since I live in Texas and they are all in California.

My youngest sister just can’t let go of the worry and stress. And it is starting to affect her and her husband’s life very negatively. I told her to stop it and she said it’s just who she is.

She has told herself this for years and years. It’s just who she is. Our mom told herself the same thing for her entire life. So my sister just assumed it is genetic and she got it from mom. Whether it is genetic or not, I don’t know, but I know it can be changed.

My sister programmed herself her entire life to care for others first, then herself and her husband. I gave her some Zig Ziglar advice, look yourself in the mirror every morning and tell yourself that your husband and you come first above all else. Say “I will take care of myself and my husband first. Then I will take care of the rest of the family.”

You can reprogram yourself with anything the same way. Anything you want to change about yourself, you can change. Get up every morning, look yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself who you want to be.

For years I was a very negative person. I could see the bad in everything. It was just who I was. And I thought that was how it was going to be forever. In 2009 I decided to change that when I came back from Iraq for the last time.

It took me years and asking lots of people to help me, but now I’m a much more optimistic person. I still have self-help cards that I read and one of them says “I am a happy, grateful, and joyful person. I will spread that joy to those around me to make the world better. Being positive will help me do everything better.”

Every so often I slip and say something very negative. But I have people to remind me and this card to read. But now I’m seen by others as a positive and optimistic person.

What do you need to reprogram yourself to be? What do you want to reprogram yourself to be?

Ben Branam

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