Chapter X with Michael Kay

What does it truly mean to be your authentic self? It starts with showing up in the world in a way that reflects our values. 

In my career as a Financial Life Planner, the conversations I have with clients are not about stock market returns or how many toys you accumulate over the years. They’re about being able to rest your head on the pillow at night, armed with the confidence that you’re living your values.

As today’s guest explains, honoring our human wholeness doesn’t mean perfection but it means embracing the brokenness in ourselves as part of who we are. Essentially, it’s being unafraid to be fully seen for who we really are, including all of our flaws, dents, and the dings that experience has brought us. 

Parker J. Palmer is a writer, speaker, activist, and founder and Senior Partner Emeritus of the Center for Courage & Renewal. I hope you’ll join us for part two of his interview on Chapter X.

We discussed:

• Recognizing what most of us do when we listen to another person’s problem
  
  
• The difference between asking honest questions vs. advice in disguise
  
  
• Taking the risk of showing up in the world as who you really are
  
  
• How we can humanize conversation in the world we are living in
  
  
• Why Parker feels that reading poetry is absolutely critical to his life

Parker J. Palmer on Facebook
Center for Courage & Renewal

One of the greater challenges we face with aging is new limitations. While these limitations might test us, staying engaged in our daily lives is what will continue to give us both meaning and purpose.

Today I’m joined by a guest who is part poet, part storyteller. Parker Palmer is a bestselling author, speaker, and activist who has graciously agreed to share his insight with us today. After writing his first nine books, Parker transitioned from the long distance run of penning books to creating short-form essays online.

His tenth book, On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity, and Getting Old, was born from that collection of essays. It’s a thought-provoking reflection on the gift of aging and what gives us purpose in life. In part one of our interview, Parker explores the inspiring concept of embracing our life experiences by looking at them from different angles.

We discussed:

• How we redeem hard times in life by finding the meaning and purpose in it
  
  
• Why making ourselves useful matters more than ever in our later years
  
  
• The reason why Parker embraced short-form writing in the last 20 years
  
  
• What attending Berkeley in the 60s taught him about social change
  
  
• How a sabbatical year living in a Quaker community changed Parker’s life

Parker J. Palmer on Facebook
Center for Courage & Renewal

In 2018, the business Margit Novack had been running for more than two decades was acquired. Suddenly, she found herself without a title or regular work for the first time in her life. While Margit initially resisted the idea of pausing to find her purpose, she soon realized that a journey of self-discovery was the next step.

Today she is an author, entrepreneur and thought leader in aging. After 25 years as a pioneer in Senior Move Management, Margit’s new passion is sharing a positive, re-visioned view of aging and the abundant possibilities of later life. Her new book, Squint: Re-visioning the Second Half of Life, is filled with extraordinary stories about navigating through change. 

In this episode, she shares her wisdom on family relationships, changing priorities, and the importance of creating a Plan B in our lives.

We discussed:

The personal growth challenges that followed a successful business acquisition

How the artistic concept of “squinting” influenced her period of self-reflection

Why releasing the load of baggage we carry around is essential in Chapter X

Facing the decline of aging family members (and why we struggle to accept it)

The impact of mindset and opportunity as we move through aging

On mindfulness and reminding ourselves to practice gratitude

margitnovack.com

How do you discover your purpose? It’s a big (and important) question that we all must tackle to embrace our next chapter. According to today’s guest, finding purpose starts with getting out of your own head.

After battling with identity struggles in his personal life and career, Clifton Pettyjohn discovered that taking a chance to follow your heart is the path to living your best life. 

Today he’s a transformation specialist, entrepreneur, and author who teaches creators how to transform their lives through embracing their best selves. In this episode, Clifton will walk us through his journey of transitioning from stagnation to living each day with purpose.

We discussed:

• Why Clifton struggled to embrace his true identity growing up
• The unintentional impact of role models on our individual identity
• How to use self awareness to sustain us through the fear of change
• The conversation we need to have with ourselves about values
• Why vulnerability is the path to experiencing real transformation 

CliftonPettyjohn.com

Text #bestself to 302-208-9440

How would you define your core values? 

As children, your values are usually passed down from your parents or teachers. But as adults, it’s important to reconsider what we believe—and why—if we are to move closer to living a life with meaning. 

In this episode, we dive deep into creativity and purpose with Bruce Meisterman. After building a life around what lights him up, Bruce continues to broaden his horizons in the next chapter.

Not only is he the author and photographer of the book ARN? NARN., but he’s authoring the yet-to-be published fiction book A Coward’s Guide to Living.

Bruce is a powerful example that you can figure out where you want to go next by exploring your values. 

We discussed:

• The value of creativity and artistic expression in Bruce’s youth
  
  
• How he coped with major life events through positive expectancy
  
  
• The creative process of writing a book from concept to finished work
  
  
• Why Bruce doesn’t feel his life has drastically changed in his 70’s
  
  
• Finding peace in turning an ending of a chapter into a new beginning
  
  
• His advice on rolling with the punches in life and living fearlessly

https://bmeisterman.com/

One of the toughest parts of retiring is actually taking the leap. Over the years, I’ve met many who have been focused on saving, investing, and planning for years. While they’re financially secure, they can’t bring themselves to leave work behind yet.

For some, it’s not about the money but the joy they get from working. Today I’m joined by a member of our Chapter X community who waited to retire until he was almost 74. A native of Oklahoma, Rick Shelby’s story travels from active duty in the Marine Corps to a political career on Capitol Hill and eventually retirement in the Washington, D.C. area.

In this episode, Rick walks us through his story, revealing why he feared pulling the plug prematurely on work and how he would do it differently looking back.

We discussed:

• The #1 lesson Rick learned from active duty in the Marine Corps
  
  
• How he naturally transitioned into a political career after serving
  
  
• The biggest way that politics have changed over the last 40 years
  
  
• What Rick’s first job was as a teenager in a rural farming community
  
  
• Why he regretted waiting to pull the trigger on retiring sooner
  
  
• How he walked through his transition to retirement through part-time work

What do the stories we tell ourselves say about us? In many cases, the personal narrative we tell ourselves about our abilities might not be true, but identifying those stories are a starting point to understanding and self-awareness. 

That is why it’s a privilege to be joined today by a gifted storyteller, coach, and author. She recently published The Learned-it-in-Queens Communications Playbook, which features straightforward, humorous advice to help you communicate better. 

As a coach, Julienne Ryan’s work is rooted in both stories and empowering people to be real with themselves and others. In today’s episode, she reveals why retirement is not an end to a story — but a shifting of gears into what’s next. 

• Why powerful storytelling changes how we look at ourselves and others
  
  
• How to successfully drive connection through creating stories
  
  
• The significance of listening to your inner voice for fulfillment
  
  
• 3 topics to tackle with your spouse when retirement is approaching
  
  
• Julienne’s recommendations for surviving an abrupt retirement
  
  
• Having the courage to be yourself and try something new

Julienne performance of “My Neighbor’s Holistic Living” 

The Learned-it-in-Queens Communications Playbook: Winning Against Digital Distraction by Julienne Ryan

While early retirement might seem like a dream for many during their career, for some, it’s not a choice. After being faced with an unexpected retirement, today’s guest exemplifies inner strength and resolve as he navigates the transition to life after work. 

A full two years separated from full-time employment, Steve Weinstein fills his days with part-time work, volunteering in his local community, and long distance bicycle riding. Along the journey, he’s discovered new ways to find fulfillment outside of work. 

In this episode, he opens up about both the challenges and joys he encountered in the early days of his surprise retirement.

We discussed:

• The reality of navigating an unexpected and early retirement
  
  
• How he discovered a sense of freedom in the first 7 days of retirement
  
  
• Satisfying the need for social outreach vs. staying inside at home
  
  
• The surprising volunteer opportunity that led to new friendships
  
  
• How to manage your Type-A personality after work ends
  
  
• The turning point in Steve’s life that shifted his beliefs about relaxation

Every month I host Zoom get together for Chapter X, where we share some stories and gain insight from one another. As today’s guest has become a regular participant, I’ve had the privilege of learning more about his unconventional path. 

Peter Emhke has navigated changes that prove there are many opportunities out there waiting for us to discover. While he acknowledges the life he’s lived isn’t for everyone, I’m confident that you’ll agree his experiences have led to many life lessons from which we can all benefit.

In this episode, Peter discusses how he accepts change and shares more on what guides him in life—and the decisions he makes.

We covered:

• How Peter’s upbringing developed his willingness to embrace change
• Exploring the magic that comes with new beginnings and endings
• Why he decided to reinvent himself as a consultant 
• What challenges Peter experienced during the first three years of retirement
• Breaking from the mentality of needing to be busy all the time