Chatty & Unfiltered Momcast

Watching my daughter go through these broken promises while also watching my husband and I try to navigate these mother wounds has been tough. Time has been exactly what we have needed in order to process it all but as time goes by so do other things like realization of my own personal mother wounds and the clarity that comes with time.

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There has been so much going on in the background and I have started to unpack it all and I am finally able to share some of it with you. These past few episodes have put a spotlight on somethings but this isn't a part of all that. 

Over the past few months my grandma was sick but we didn't know how sick until it was to late. While dealing with other things like my daughters health with cystic fibrosis I wasn't able to say goodbye and the harsh reality of this life of having a child with Cf is that we had to choose between her health over helping and even seeing my grandma.

I'm full of regret and sadness and this episode is the raw track of me sharing it with you. 

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This podcast episode has finally hit my editing floor and I gotta tell ya I was in such high hopes at the end of this episode. I will share an updated on my breast-feeding journey and what happened right after this episode. 

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I've been going back and forth about posting this. This situation is ongoing and one of the hardest days of my life as a mom. In one split second I felt the pain and the fear my mom once did when I told her a secret of mine. 

With space and time, we will figure out where do we go from here, what do we want life to look like, where do we see ourselves, do we want to move to the south again or try another state?

But as we take this time and space to figure out where do we go from here we are watching in real time family dynamics change which is why I've been back and forth on posting this. With my husband's permission he thinks it's time for this episode to be published.

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Have you ever had a moment where you wanted to SCREAM FUCK YOU!

Lately it seems like everyone around me is going through something where they just wanna scream FUCK YOU! 

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I have been recording and editing episodes in the middle of the night since life has been so up and down. Hopefully this episode will explain why I wasn't consistently posting on both podcast last year.

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You must pour time, love and energy into your family before you can give all of those aspects to extend family. 

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I want to thank you all for listening!

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I have never experienced being able to say goodbye to a pet before... I have had many pets, but they have passed, and my mom took them to the vet or they "ran away" this was the first time I was experiencing a death of a pet in a way I never have while also trying to explain death and heaven? to our 6 year old. 

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Cystic Fibrosis diagnoses comes with its ups and downs. You mourn your baby's life in many different ways. 

Doctor visits are long and overwhelming and at times your anger and frustration gets the better of you and you blame the doctors because you feel like you "need" to blame someone and yet there is no one to blame. 

The pressure of digestive enzymes, chest pt, breathing treatments, germs, and the fear of the unknown takes a hit to your mental health. 

Listen in as I share my family's journey when it comes to learning our little one has cystic fibrosis. 

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