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Every family story begins with choices—ones we make and ones made for us. In this deeply personal episode, I open up about the three pivotal conversations I had with my father that shaped my understanding of abandonment, forgiveness, and the power to change destructive family patterns.

Born in Colombia to a young mother and a police officer father who disappeared from my life when I was just three years old, I carried the weight of parental absence throughout my childhood. The few memories I have—a motorcycle ride, a painful phone call where he refused to let me live with him—became cornerstone moments in my understanding of my own worth and lovability.

When my mother remarried in America, I briefly experienced what felt like a complete family, only to have it shattered by domestic violence and trauma that triggered lasting mental health struggles. These experiences created a narrative that I wasn't worthy of love, affecting every relationship I formed.

The most powerful moment came decades later when I tracked down my biological father and confronted him with the question that had haunted me my entire life: why didn't he fight for me? His answer—that he was scared and didn't know how to be a father—revealed something profound about generational patterns. While he blamed his own upbringing for his failures, I realized we all have choices regardless of what examples we've been given.

This revelation became my turning point. Rather than perpetuating cycles of trauma and absence with my own children, I chose differently. Not because I naturally knew how to be a better parent, but because I made an intentional decision to break the pattern.

The power to change your family's story isn't about blaming your past or staying stuck in a victim mentality—it's about recognizing that regardless of what happened to you, you have the agency to choose differently. Listen in for a raw, honest conversation about healing, forgiveness, and the courage to create a new legacy for yourself and those you love.

Are you ready to break free from the choices others made for you and write a new chapter for your family?

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A year after baptism marked the most challenging yet transformative period in my life, proving that spiritual growth doesn't eliminate hardship but provides the foundation to withstand life's storms with newfound resilience and perspective. The journey revealed that peace doesn't come from perfect circumstances but from accepting what can't be changed and finding joy in small moments.

• Understanding the difference between self-awareness and self-criticism
• Baptism experience providing a sense of acceptance and a clean slate
• Facing relationship breakdown, my daughter's bipolar diagnosis, and job loss
• Learning that God never promised an easy life—only that it would be worth it
• Finding genuine self-love, forgiveness, patience, and gratitude through hardship
• Discovering true peace that isn't dependent on external circumstances
• Realizing that mistakes don't invalidate faith—we're all on different timelines
• Waking up with gratitude instead of dread for the first time since age 15

God loves you. You're enough, you're built for this, and until next time, have a good night.

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This episode focuses on the emotion of anger, exploring its root causes, significance in human experience, and strategies for managing it constructively. We emphasize that anger is natural and valid, encouraging listeners to acknowledge their feelings, understand their triggers, and find healthier ways to express anger.

• Recognizing anger as a natural part of life 
• Exploring common triggers for anger 
• Discussing biblical perspectives on anger 
• Understanding the difference between feeling angry and acting on it 
• Practical tips for pausing and processing anger 
• Finding positive outlets for anger through self-care 
• The importance of self-forgiveness and moving forward 
• Encouragement to express feelings constructively to prevent harm to others

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Have you ever felt like the weight of the world was keeping you pinned to your bed? We understand that crushing overwhelm and are here to openly discuss the complex nature of depression, sharing personal stories of vulnerability and the struggle of daily tasks that seem impossible. This episode brings to light the often misunderstood triggers of depression and the delicate journey of seeking help. Through candid experiences, we discuss the frustrating search for answers and the physical symptoms that accompany mental health struggles, offering a raw glimpse into lives touched by depression.

Finding hope amid darkness is no easy task, but it is possible. By recognizing and managing signs of recurring depressive episodes, we explore the small yet impactful steps that can lead to healing and growth. By addressing deep-seated issues, we share strategies for releasing emotional burdens and moving toward peace. Faith emerges as a vital source of strength, with inspiration drawn from profound songs and meaningful scripture, reminding us that divine support is a steadfast companion. With resilience and love at the forefront, we offer a message of hope, encouraging listeners that strength can be found even in moments of struggle.

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Have you ever wondered how to maintain faith and perspective when life takes an unexpected turn? Join me in "Check Yourself with Harley" as I share a personal journey inspired by the biblical stories of Job and Abraham. Through heartfelt anecdotes, including a cherished memory of my father, we explore the profound emotional landscape of loss and the strength found in adversity. This episode is a candid reflection on our tendency to assign blame rather than take ownership, and how to focus on the blessings that remain, even when life doesn't follow the script we envisioned.

In a world where father figures can be elusive, I open up about my own quest for acceptance and love, often sought through my mother's partners. The loss of a compassionate stepdad left a significant mark, pushing me toward seeking validation in external relationships, with varying degrees of heartbreak. Yet through this journey, I uncovered the true blessings already present in my life—supportive friends, adoptive parents, and my beloved children. Join me as I discuss the importance of self-love and gratitude, and how recognizing the love that surrounds us can lead to inner strength and fulfillment.

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What if you could transform your family's approach to mental health and parenting through fresh perspectives and real-life experiences? As a mother of six and your host, Harley, I invite you to join me in this new season of "Check Yourself With Harley" as we navigate the intricate world of mental health with a special focus on parenting. Together with my daughter and other guest hosts, we uncover the often-hidden challenges teenagers face and explore how parents can offer better support. Our discussions are rooted in my personal journey and enriched by my ongoing studies in communications and mental health coaching, ensuring a season filled with insightful and empowering conversations.

This episode also sheds light on the unique struggles men encounter, especially fathers raising sons, bringing much-needed attention to topics like healthcare and financial literacy. We talk about the crucial importance of making informed life choices and the role community engagement plays in personal well-being. As the holiday season approaches, we address the emotional complexities it brings, particularly for those dealing with family difficulties or loss. By sharing our experiences, we hope to guide you toward improved relationships and a more fulfilling life during this inevitably challenging time.

Finally, we reflect on the profound impact of loneliness and the significance of faith and hope in our lives. I open up about personal challenges and the comfort I find in the belief that life holds more for us beyond current struggles. It's about finding beauty in adversity and staying patient as we move forward together. Remember, you're not alone in this journey, and by keeping faith alive, we can trust that peace and rest are within reach. This episode promises not only to validate your experiences but also to offer a new perspective on navigating life's temporary challenges. Join us as we continue this journey, finding strength in shared stories and the promise of brighter days ahead.

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Feeling overwhelmed and need a break to regroup? You're not alone. Join me on this emotionally charged episode of "Check Yourself with Harley" as I open up about my personal battles with feeling isolated and the struggle for self-awareness. From insights drawn from a recent church sermon on loneliness to the poignant realization that many of us feel lonely even with faith and connections, we dive deep into the complexities of human relationships and the importance of honest conversations. You'll find comfort in knowing you're not the only one navigating these waters.

Ever felt like an outcast for seeking deeper connections? Listen as I share my own journey of transitioning from superficial friendships to embracing authenticity, even if it means feeling isolated at times. I recount how a challenging conversation with my ex became a pivotal moment for self-reflection and growth, underscoring the importance of accepting truths regardless of their source. This raw and candid discussion will inspire you to look inward and confront your own uncomfortable truths, leading to meaningful personal change.

To wrap up, we delve into the emotional challenges of self-reflection and the crucial role of mutual support in relationships. Learn how letting go of bitterness and embracing criticism can be transformative, as I share personal anecdotes that highlight the importance of being grounded in your true self. Finally, I spread love and encouragement, reminding you that despite life's ups and downs, you are loved, enough, and never alone. Stay positive, keep spreading the love, and let's navigate this journey together.

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Can "keeping it real" actually lead to your downfall? On this episode of "Check Yourself with Harley," we dive into the complexities of authenticity and how the pursuit of being genuine can sometimes go terribly wrong. Inspired by an iconic Chappelle Show skit, we analyze three scenarios where "keeping it real" backfires spectacularly. We discuss the self-made man whose boardroom meltdown costs him dearly, and the jealous individual whose party antics leave him humiliated and isolated. These cautionary tales remind us of the critical need for self-reflection and understanding others before acting impulsively.

Moving from cautionary tales to practical wisdom, we explore the true essence of authenticity. Authenticity isn't about brutal honesty for the sake of criticism but rather about honest interactions rooted in love and concern. We delve into the importance of setting clear relationship expectations and knowing when to offer advice or simply listen. Additionally, we stress the need for delivering truth with care and respect, understanding that how our words are received is beyond our control. Tune in as we prepare to tackle handling honesty from others in next week's episode. As always, we value your thoughts and remind you that you are loved, enough, and never alone. Connect with us on Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat to keep the conversation going!

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Imagine feeling consumed by self-doubt and past trauma, only to discover a path to self-acceptance and healing. That's exactly what we explore in this episode as I share my personal journey through the ups and downs of battling bipolar disorder, grappling with broken relationships, and ultimately finding strength in faith and genuine connections. Through candid reflections, we'll tackle how self-destructive behaviors often mask deeper issues and the pivotal moments that catalyze transformation.

Have you ever experienced how a failed relationship can lead to both physical and emotional turmoil? I recount a period in my life where a drastic physical change couldn't fill the void of heartbreak, leading to a cycle of bitterness and emotional manipulation. It wasn't until a special person showed me genuine care that I began to realize the importance of seeking help and becoming a better person for my children. This episode underscores the power of accountability and love in the healing process, turning self-destruction into a journey of self-improvement.

Finding true happiness and self-worth isn’t easy, especially when dealing with mental health struggles. I delve into the profound impact of a children's book, "You Are Special" by Max Lucado, which led to a spiritual reawakening and a commitment to change. We'll discuss the importance of genuine friendships, forgiveness, and therapy in expressing and alleviating emotional pain. By sharing my personal experiences, I aim to ensure that no one feels alone in their struggles and to highlight the human need to share and heal from our hurts. Join me on this heartfelt journey to uncover the transformative power of faith and self-acceptance.

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Why do you have to look at your behavior? I asked myself that today, why do I have to forgive people who have given me half apologies or none at all? Why do I have to become a better person when everyone else is just a crappy person? Asking the wrong questions my friend.

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