Two girls, one wizarding world, and a whole lot of opinions, this week we’re diving headfirst into the Marauders and asking the real question: were they actually good people, or just really loyal to each other? We break down the chaos, the friendship, the questionable choices, and yes, the bullying, because let’s be honest, these boys were a mixed bag. Chelsey and I agree on most of it (shocking, I know), but where we don’t… we really don’t. Expect some strong takes, a little friendly arguing, and the usual off-track tangent because apparently we can’t stay on topic to save our lives. We also sprinkle in a few extra Harry Potter thoughts because once we start, there’s no stopping us. If you’ve ever defended, questioned, or side-eyed the Marauders, this one’s for you. Come for the nostalgia, stay for the hot takes.

HAPPY EASTER!!!

We’re still months away from our family vacation, but that didn’t stop us from discussing it like we leave tomorrow. This episode kicks off with us discussing our plans, but quickly turns into stories from past trips, random tangents, and absolute chaos. Chelsey is joining our family/anniversary vacation, which somehow raises both the excitement and the risk level. We’ve got a rummy game going, ice cream in hand, and just enough focus to pretend we’re being productive. At one point Evelyn pops in for a quick cameo, because timing is never on our side. Somewhere between the distractions, we actually do lock in a few real details. Mostly though, this is just us riding the high of something fun to look forward to... and trying to get through a conversation and a game of rummy without getting too far off track.

In this episode, we put random things on the chopping block and make each other choose which one has to go, no logic, just vibes. From everyday habits to oddly specific preferences, nothing is safe and some of these choices get way more heated than they should. We agree more than we expected, which is suspicious, but the disagreements come in hot and loud.

Somewhere between debating and defending our life choices, you’ll learn a little too much about how we shop, sleep, and function as humans. There’s rummy happening in the background, questionable strategy, and a steady stream of teasing. At one point, there are even some innuendos, but we’re probably just talking about chicken and not something completely ridiculous or inappropriate.

It’s chaotic, it’s unnecessary, and honestly, we stand by every bad decision or stupid comment.

Chelsey didn’t just suggest the gym, she pulled Beth into a light CrossFit-style workout… no machines, no plan, and absolutely no business doing it after their very unofficial “breaks” from fitness. What unfolds is equal parts determination, regret, and “why do our legs hate us?” as they attempt to remember how bodies are supposed to move.

Somewhere between the sweat, the laughter, and the mild identity crisis, they survive and naturally decide they’ve earned food. What should have been a simple post-workout meal turns into a strange, slightly chaotic adventure filled with questionable stops, random decisions, and a few “this feels like a mistake” moments… until it somehow ends in something actually delicious.

As always, the conversation refuses to stay on track. They spiral into tangents, forget what they were saying mid-sentence, and snack on Sour Patch Kids like elite athletes in recovery. Add in a casual game of rummy happening in real time, and you’ve got pure, unfiltered chaos.

Oh—and don’t worry, there may be a surprise singing performance, because apparently that’s part of their fitness journey now.

In this episode of Chickens Are the New Kittens, Beth and Chelsey discuss the movies they loved, were inspired by, or were completely obsessed with growing up. From cult classics to childhood favorites, they revisit the films that shaped their younger years and ask the big question: do they still hold up now that we’re adults?

Naturally, the conversation doesn’t stay perfectly on track. Expect random tangents, bursts of giggling over ridiculous memories, and the occasional inside joke that probably makes no sense, and that’s part of the charm.

So… did any of these movies shape your childhood too? What were the films you watched on repeat?

Fair warning: this episode might hit you right in the nostalgic feels.

This week we are discussing red flags; the mildly irritating to absolutely run-for-your-life levels of concern. We agree on some, strongly disagree on others, and definitely call each other out in the process. Somewhere between gaslighting and bad texting habits, we realize a few of the red flags might actually belong to us. (Growth is uncomfortable. So is losing.) As always, we’re playing rummy because emotional analysis is better with a little competitive tension. Luckily we just finished eating! Things get heated over jealousy, accountability, and who is absolutely going to win this hand. Spoiler: neither of us is backing down. Grab your deck and your standards — we’re shuffling through it all.

In this five-star fever dream of an episode, Beth reads a variety of book, show, and movie reviews while Chelsey tries to guess how many stars they were given. Spoiler: confidence does not equal accuracy. What follows? Bold assumptions, questionable logic, theatrical readings, and the exact level of chaos you’ve come to expect from Chickens Are the New Kittens.

There are laughs. There is confusion. There is at least one moment of “wait… WHAT?”

Five stars. Highly recommend. Would absolutely spiral again.

In this wildly investigative episode, we set out to answer the hard-hitting question no one asked but everyone needs answered: wtf is actually in Kaukauna? Spoiler alert — not much. What was meant to be a thrilling deep dive into local charm quickly turns into us realizing the biggest attractions were the weather, a mildly exciting roadside sighting, and the aggressive quaintness of it all. We giggle our way through the stunning revelation that sometimes a town’s main feature is simply… existing. There’s commentary on the scenic drive, dramatic pauses over absolutely nothing happening, and a heartfelt appreciation for just how uneventful an event can be. It’s small. It’s quiet. It’s aggressively adorable. And somehow, against all odds, it’s one of our favorite episodes — because when there’s nothing going on, we will absolutely make something out of it.

In this episode of Chickens Are the New Kittens, Beth and Chelsey play a game of rummy while taking turns guessing TV shows based on deliberately vague, barely helpful descriptions. No spoilers, no clarity, just fuzzy plot hints and wild confidence. As the cards stack up, so do the questionable guesses and competitive clucking. Some answers land clean, others skid across the litter box. It’s part game night, part pop-culture guessing game, and fully feathered chaos. Play along and see if your brain scratches the right post.

Chelsey was born in the ’90s; Beth was raised by them. In this episode, Chelsey quizzes Beth on ’90s trivia to see how much she actually remembers versus what’s been replaced by chicken care schedules and cat opinions. Lisa Frank? AOL instant messaging? Boy bands that still hit emotionally? All on the table. The results are funny, chaotic, and mildly concerning. If you survived the ’90s and now live with animals who judge you, this episode is for you.