Wow, we did that! We did a whole season of 'Children of Divorce.'

I'm pretty proud of myself; filming a podcast episode only takes about an hour, but it's not just that, it's the hours of editing I put in. It's everything I've overcome over the years and all of my mental health struggles. It's going against the people who told me stop, or that I wouldn't be successful and I was just embarrassing myself. It's telling the truth when I was told not to for years. It's showing who I truly am after hiding it for as long as I can remember. But mostly, it's a demonstration of the freedom I've gained.

I now have my voice back, and I intend to use it for good. I want to help others who struggled/struggle like me. I know that honesty is medicine at the end of the day; medicine for your soul and medicine for others. I know it helps to hear my story, to hear the actual story, because it's not like a movie, and it's not like instagram, it's fucking hard. It's been fucking hard. I was in seemingly naturally thin bodies and I was a bulimic and anorexic (and don't forget binge eater!!) I went to a nice school and had nice clothes and nice holidays, but I was miserable throughout that. My home life was shit, I had no real love in my life, and I was becoming increasingly depressed. When I got to college, everyone asked me what I did on my gap year, to which I responded: "Oh I travelled to Italy & Costa Rica and worked in London." They would respond with awe, when the reality is, I was too scared to tell them that after I did all of that, I ended up in a psychiatric ward in London because my bulimia and depression had overtaken me and I was just not functioning anymore. This podcast has been liberating because I stopped trying to be someone, and instead I just became myself.

All that aside, I finished my freshman year of college! I cannot believe it really. It was so ridiculously hard; I was very down at times, I had so much trouble making friends, and my love life was about as dry as the desert, but I made it through, so to anyone who's starting their freshman year, you can do it! And to anyone who's already completed it, I see you solider, well done for your bravery.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to anyone who listened to an episode this season and those who left a rating (even my ops who gave me 1 star, all press is good press). Thanks to those of you who left comments, who dmed me saying that they liked the podcast, that it was helpful - genuinely, it helped me keep going with life in general because I felt like I actually had some purpose and meaning. Thank you to the people who supported me and told me to not give up - my Brazilian entourage who I am so lucky to have found, thank you guys. I am just so #grateful, and little Lydia would not believe who she has become.

All my love and appreciation everyone, this isn't goodbye, this is SEE YOU IN TWO WEEKS FOR SEASON 2: SOPHOMORE YEAR!!!!! AHH, CAN WE BELIEVE IT?! XXX Lydia

PS: I thought this definition was funny:

A sophomore refers to a student in their second year of high school (10th grade) or college/university.

The word comes from Greek roots and features a playful literal meaning:

Sophos: Meaning "wise"

Moros: Meaning "foolish" (the root of "moron")

Historically, the term combined these two words to mean "wise fool" - a playful description of second-year students who know a bit more than newcomers (freshmen) but still have a lot to learn.

‘Children of Divorce’ is available wherever you get your podcasts, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTubeFind me on TikTok & Instagram under @childrenofdivorcepod and @lydianathenson

Sometimes, I struggle to wake up in my bed alone, or go to sleep at night with no one at home.

It can be hard to be single. It's also hard to date someone that's not right for you. It's also hard to get over that person - I'm sensing a pattern here...it's almost like we can't win. I struggled so much to get over someone I barely dated even though I knew that our relationship wasn't right. Sometimes we can know someone isn't for us, but we can also feel pain when we see them with someone else.

Paradox: A statement or situation containing two seemingly opposite ideas that, when examined, both prove to be well-founded or true.

As always, I have no magic solutions or pills, but perhaps we'll all find comfort in the fact that it's not just us, that others do feel this way - not just me! I get messages from you guys who listen telling me that you feel/felt the same, so proof in the pudding that it is not just me or you! We'll get through this - it always ends, I promise. I lived a life where it felt like it would never end and only get worse, and then one day it got better. You got this, keep going.

All my love, Lydia XXX

‘Children of Divorce’ is available wherever you get your podcasts, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube

Find me on TikTok & Instagram under @childrenofdivorcepod and @lydianathenson

This episode has been a longtime coming, glad I finally took the time to speak about & process what it was like growing up in an interfaith household. 

People always ask me what religion I was and the short answer is my dad is Jewish, my mum is Catholic, but I predominantly practice Catholicism. The long answer is this podcast..

I think growing up in an interfaith household kind of changes your relationship with religion/how you see it; I understood immediately from a young age that religion wasn’t just a belief system, but community and identity and a sense of belonging. That divide between the two sides of my family didn’t just exist on the outside, but also internally: I was constantly conflicted & confused about who to be, and I got pretty good at being only ‘Jewish’ with my dad’s side of the family & only ‘Catholic’ with my mum’s side of the family. It didn’t have anything to do with actual belief in a God, but rather  it was a strong cultural stance I was taking when I chose to either act ‘Jewish’ or ‘Catholic.’ 

This podcast place is not religious, I want to premise that. I am spiritual in ways and still figuring out my belief system, but I will never make this place religiously charged/Children of Divorce will never identify with one religion. I hope that’s ok with you all, it’s what I want for the podcast. Instead, I hope we can have interesting conversations, like this one, about how interfaith marriage can impact a kid’s upbringing and inner sense of identity. 

Thanks for listening guys - I appreciate you as always, and please if you have a chance, rate the pod! It would mean the world to me, thank you thank you XXX Lydia 

‘Children of Divorce’ is available wherever you get your podcasts, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube

Find me on TikTok & Instagram under @childrenofdivorcepod and @lydianathenson

 Ever had that moment of deja vu? When you’re standing in the exact same place you stood years ago, but you’re no longer that person.

That’s exactly what happened to me. I stepped into the shoes of 17 year old me, and realised that my life has actually unfolded and changed in so many ways even though it felt like it was never moving forward. 

That being said, sometimes we can’t feel solely grateful. Maybe we haven’t discovered that ability to think positively all the time, or perhaps we are still processing our past and what we went through…maybe we are grateful, but also in pain. 

The point of today’s episode is that it’s ok to feel unhappy despite what you have; we cannot cheat being humans, we have no choice but to feel every emotion. No matter what opportunity, what challenges you overcome, what battles you have fought and so on, we will always have struggle. That struggle is being human and you can feel it anywhere, so if someone tells you to be grateful today, you can tell them to eff off.

How can someone empty inside feel grateFULL? You tell me…

Thanks for listening to today’s episode, I appreciate all the support & send everyone my love XXX Lydia 

‘Children of Divorce’ is available wherever you get your podcasts, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube

Find me on TikTok & Instagram under @childrenofdivorcepod and @lydianathenson

TRIGGER WARNING: Today's episode mentions topics such as sexual assault and sexual abuse, listen with care and caution.

Hey my people, thank you for joining me on a super meaningful episode of 'Children of Divorce. ' It took me a while, but I finally was ready to make a whole episode about my experience with sexual abuse within my immediate family.

First of all, I want to mention that no matter who you are, no matter how it happened, no matter who it was, and no matter how old you were, if you underwent sexual abuse, you were innocent! You did not deserve that and it was not your fault. Everyone tells survivors to not feel guilty, but there's also a reason why everyone says that! It's because we do feel guilty...guilty that it happened, embarrassed that we let it happen to us, disgusted by our body, and traumatised by that feeling of being frozen. All those emotions manifest into this unstoppable, uncontrollable guilt.

Today's episode is not a 'how to recover from sexual abuse.' As I mentioned in the episode, I believe each experience is different and requires different care. But today's episode is my story of being sexually abused; it's the truth about the dark part of my family, the stuff that was hidden from the eyes of onlookers. It's the truth behind abused children and what they go on to do. It's the truth behind me. I finally have a voice and a place to use that voice and I want to tell the truth no matter the consequences.

Thank you for listening to today's episode, and genuinely, thank you for any support you've ever given me. I do not take it lightly - even one listener, or one positive message, or one view means that someone took the time out of their day to engage with my story, and after being ignored and silenced for so long, I couldn't ask for anything more.

All my love and appreciation, Lydia XXX

‘Children of Divorce’ is available wherever you get your podcasts, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube

Find me on TikTok & Instagram under @childrenofdivorcepod and @lydianathenson

Throughout my life, people have told me my dreams were not possible. They didn’t always say it directly, but it was instigated through passive comments; my parents pushed me via the academic route, prioritising structure versus passion. Whenever I would perform for others, they would smile and say ‘that’s good,’ but never urge me to pursue music. If I expressed that I maybe wanted to take a more creative route when it came to career prospects, my teachers and friends would smile at me with raised eyebrows. 

The thing is, there are always going to be people that will tell you it’s not possible, or won’t believe you can do it, but remember, that’s the story they tell themselves so that they fall asleep better at night. First of all, how would they know what’s possible if they haven’t tried/achieved it? Second of all, a lot of people tell themselves things aren’t possible because it makes life a little easier; they don’t have to deal with the unknown, the ‘what ifs,’ they can just tell themselves that it’s not meant to be. But isn’t life a little sadder that way? Isn’t it a little bit less special? A little bit less exciting? 

I think we should dream. I think we should dare. I think we should risk. I can live with failure, but I can’t live with the fact that I didn’t go after what I truly wanted. That’s what I’m pursuing - not money, not fame, not acclaim, not stability, but rather, a dream. I want what I want and I am going to give it my all - worst case scenario, I’ll be fine, and then one day, I will die! It’s not that deep, it’s not that serious, so at least go after what you feel in your body and in your soul that you want to do!!

Also, no pressure though. Take it day by day. Chip by chip. Again, it’s not that serious. Just do you, and follow you, and you’ll get somewhere. 

So much love to you all, thanks for listening, I appreciate it so much! Please rate the podcast if you have a chance, it really helps, KISSES XXX Lydia 

‘Children of Divorce’ is available wherever you get your podcasts, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube

Find me on TikTok & Instagram under @childrenofdivorcepod and @lydianathenson

Guys, what an experience that was! My first college hookup and it was....definitely not perfect, but that's exactly what it needed to be. I'm so proud of myself for kissing someone after two years!

In the past, I would have felt shameful, guilty and disgusted after a sexual experience with someone, but now, I can walk away with a greater sense of understanding for myself & what I'm into. For years, my eating disorder & my sexual abuse dictated how I viewed and felt in my body, and consequently, they impacted my ability to be intimate with others. Now, at 20 years old, I have done so much work on myself (ie. healed my relationship with food & processed my sexual abuse) that a kiss can just be....a kiss!

This episode isn't about consent (though, that's of the utmost importance!), but instead it's about the aftermath of the consent. Why do we feel guilty for being intimate with someone? Why do we feel dirty in our body? Intimacy is a wonderful thing, and that skin to skin connection with someone is so important, but unfortunately we can associate negative emotions with it due to our past trauma and general views on our bodies and sex.

As always, I can't give you a step-by-step video on how to overcome these feelings of guilt - it's unique to everyone and their history. However, I can tell you my story and it's overarching theme, which is that it get's better and it won't stay the same. You won't feel like this forever; your body will heal, your mind will heal, even if it feels like it never will.

I hope you enjoyed today's episode, I hope that you are safe, and if you're not, know that one day you will be. Look after yourself - all my love and appreciation, XXX Lydia

‘Children of Divorce’ is available wherever you get your podcasts, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube

Find me on TikTok & Instagram under @childrenofdivorcepod and @lydianathenson

Oh my goodness guys, wtf is life!!! Why is it so hard sometimes? Why is it so scary? Why do I not know what to do? It's hard out here, and the last thing I'm going to do is pretend I have my shit together - my shit is so far off the porch that it is flying.

This episode isn't GOGOGO and do stuff - that's never my goal or intention. I don't think we are going to get anywhere in life with tough love, let's try regular love, no? Instead, I tell you about my experiences the past couple days, and how being open and receptive has allowed me to discover new things about myself/find more clarity in my life. We can be scared, we can feel alone, we can feel tired and drained, but we mustn't let that stop us ever!

I'm proud of all of you who keep on keeping on, may you find your peace XXX Lydia

‘Children of Divorce’ is available wherever you get your podcasts, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube

Find me on TikTok & Instagram under @childrenofdivorcepod and @lydianathenson

Let's talk about the Big O, Ozempic. I am not here to minimize Ozempic's usefulness to people who ACTUALLY need it, but I am here to talk about my frustrations when it comes to promoting weight loss to everybody.

Why is this world crazy? Why are so many people brainwashed? Why are we all getting so obsessed with thinness? Speaking as someone who had an eating disorder for ten years, I feel I can both sympathise with those who feel the urge to lose weight, but I also can recognise the need for healthy female role models in the media & perhaps a rebellion against ozempic and thinness?

It's like this miracle drug, right? You don't have to do anything and you get to lose weight, and you are now super thin, thinner than you could have imagined, and you get to live your best, thin life? Right? Ok, well I would argue that taking a drug to suppress your appetite so that you lose weight is eating disorder behaviour. That's a LEGALISED drug that is aiding and abetting unhealthy relationships with food and body image.

As someone who struggled at the hands of an eating disorder for years, it is so frustrating to see more and more people falling into this very thin body type; if they have to take a drug to be in this body, it's not as glamorous as it really seems. We have to stop glamorising underweight women! I now have food freedom & a healthy relationship with food and my body, and that has brought me more joy and fulfilment in my life than any amount of weight loss ever could. I don't care that I'm considered less beautiful to some people, I don't care that I'm not as thin as I used to be - I know that I am now the role model I wished younger me had had. Be your own role model my guys.

And as for the 'Wicked' cast and crew, I am just disappointed that no statement was ever made; I think if you put two allegedly anorexic women on the screen in front of a huge audience and market it so glamorously, you have the due diligence of stating the reality behind their body types, even if it's just for safety reasons!Thank you all for listening to this episode, and if you made it through my rant, congratulations! You all get an extra beijos (that's Portuguese for kiss, I'm trying to learn) Take care!!

All my love, Lydia XXX

‘Children of Divorce’ is available wherever you get your podcasts, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube

Find me on TikTok & Instagram under @childrenofdivorcepod and @lydianathenson

Let’s just say that I have had my fair share of addictions over the years - from weed to toxic relationship dynamics, I am not one to decline that statement. 

Today’s episode is not tough love, it is not me yelling at you to just stop - I know that’s not how we quit. Instead, I talk through my individual experiences with addiction and how I (sometimes on purpose) overcame them. I’m not saying that we don’t have control, or that our addiction will just heal itself, but I am saying that you are riding your own individual wave, and you might need to be in the right time and place in order to get off it. Your journey is not going to look exactly like mine, and I can’t tell you exactly how to overcome your specific addiction. This I can tell you though: be kind to yourself, you are trying your best; you will overcome this. 

Never admit defeat against your addictions guys - as long as you are thinking about recovery, even if you are not immediately acting on it, you are going in the right direction. I’m proud of you all, and remember, you always have a sober sponsor with me!! All the love, XXX Lydia 

‘Children of Divorce’ is available wherever you get your podcasts, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube

Find me on TikTok & Instagram under @childrenofdivorcepod and @lydianathenson