Choose Better Thoughts

Busy weeks can make it hard to create what you actually want—or you create it by muscling through with guilt and pressure and everything feels heavy. Skill #6: Live as Your Future Self is the light way through. We’ll use a small future-you scene, pair it with a believable belief, borrow the feeling for a minute, and let one tiny action flow naturally. Think: watching the game and not thinking about work, a scrappy podcast slice that helps one person, a calmer 4 p.m. dinner you’re growing into, or a playful Halloween hair moment—because connection beats perfection.

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:

Future Self, Simply: a near-term scene you can revisit (tonight → a few months) that helps you choose now
Belief → Feeling → Action: pick a believable thought, borrow its steady feeling, take one tiny visible step
Bridge Beliefs: “for the next ten minutes, I’m a woman who…” small, true thoughts that make action easy
Real Combos: soccer presence, six-months-in podcast rhythm, not-yet sheet-pan dinner, playful Halloween hair

Why It Works: episodic future thinking + future-self continuity + broaden-and-build + progress principle = lighter momentum

Want help with your real life?Join the 90‑Day Mastermind: six live coaching workshops, audio mini‑lessons to your phone, and a private community of high‑achieving women. We’ll run your exact scenario through the model and stack weekly 10% wins until you feel 100% more you. I’m inviting five to ten women. Here’s the link: https://www.choosebetterthoughts.com/coachingprogram

Follow me on:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/choosebetterthoughts/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandahuffmandoyle/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And if you like this episode, don’t forget to follow, subscribe, leave a review or send it to a friend who might need this! I am so grateful to you!

You've got this!

Today we’re practicing the skill of unleashing desire and creativity, the antidote to feeling flat in a life that looks fine on paper. If you’ve wanted to leave a job but know you won’t, or you want to launch something real but can’t find ‘enough’ confidence, this one’s for you. We’re going to notice a quiet yes, give it air, and turn it into one small, useful thing at the scale you’re at. No five-year plan, no permission slip, just a room with the light on.

YOU’LL LEARN:

How to spot a nudge even if you’re not a “body sensations” person (body, pattern, and relational lanes—with quick tells for each).

Why capability can be a detour and how guilt and fear sound reasonable while they shrink your want (two sentences to recognize them fast).

How to move without “being ready” by creating a simple home for the idea (titled document + small calendar block).

Where creativity lives in non-art jobs (spreadsheets, agendas, hiring loops, demo flows, family routines) and how to count those wins.

A one-week practice to trade a little consumption for a little creation, give ideas air on purpose, and measure aliveness instead of only output.

Want help with your real life?Join the 90‑Day Mastermind: six live coaching workshops, audio mini‑lessons to your phone, and a private community of high‑achieving women. We’ll run your exact scenario through the model and stack weekly 10% wins until you feel 100% more you. I’m inviting five to ten women.

Here’s the link https://www.choosebetterthoughts.com/coachingprogram

Follow me on:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/choosebetterthoughts/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandahuffmandoyle/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And if you like this episode, don’t forget to follow, subscribe, leave a review or send it to a friend who might need this! I am so grateful to you!

You've got this! 

Pain is part of life; extra suffering is often a story we add. The first sentence is the fact—boring, security-camera neutral. The second sentence is our swift conclusion: “This means I’m behind…they don’t respect me…I always mess this up.” That add-on thought spikes emotion and narrows options. In this episode, you’ll learn to separate fact from story in the moment, try on gentler alternatives, and choose actions that create relief instead of residue. Five minutes of “second-sentence” awareness can return hours of energy to your day.

You’ll Learn:

• Why the “letdown effect” happens (and how to stop making it mean you’re failing)
• A two-minute body check-in that reduces spirals without fixing or numbing
• A 3-step “Name → Normalize → Nurture” script for fast, kind self-regulation
• How to design micro-rest that actually restores (presence over productivity)
• One practical swap this week to land softer after your next push

Want help with your real life? Join the 90‑Day Mastermind: six live coaching workshops, audio mini‑lessons to your phone, and a private community of high‑achieving women. We’ll run your exact scenario through the model and stack weekly 10% wins until you feel 100% more you. I’m inviting five to ten women.

Here’s the link: https://www.choosebetterthoughts.com/coachingprogram

Follow me on:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/choosebetterthoughts/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandahuffmandoyle/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And if you like this episode, don’t forget to follow, subscribe, leave a review or send it to a friend who might need this! I am so grateful to you!

You've got this!

You push through the launch, the big meeting, the recital—and then comes the strange, heavy quiet. Instead of relief, your body serves up flatness, irritability, or a fog you can’t shake. Nothing’s wrong with you; that’s your nervous system landing.

This episode names the “post-push crash,” explains why stillness can feel unsafe after a sprint, and gives you short, compassionate practices to help your system downshift without turning recovery into another performance metric. You’ll leave with a 3-minute re-entry plan you can use after any big effort.

You’ll Learn:

Why the “letdown effect” happens (and how to stop making it mean you’re failing)

A two-minute body check-in that reduces spirals without fixing or numbing

A 3-step “Name → Normalize → Nurture” script for fast, kind self-regulation

How to design micro-rest that actually restores (presence over productivity)

One practical swap this week to land softer after your next push

Want help with your real life? Join the 90‑Day Mastermind: six live coaching workshops, audio mini‑lessons to your phone, and a private community of high‑achieving women. We’ll run your exact scenario through the model and stack weekly 10% wins until you feel 100% more you. I’m inviting five to ten women. Here’s the link: https://www.choosebetterthoughts.com/coachingprogram

Follow me on:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/choosebetterthoughts/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandahuffmandoyle/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And if you like this episode, don’t forget to follow, subscribe, leave a review or send it to a friend who might need this! I am so grateful to you!

You've got this!

If you’ve ever caught yourself silently grading a partner, colleague, or co-parent on how well they follow your unwritten rules, you’re not alone. We call it “the manual”—that invisible rulebook that promises safety but delivers resentment and exhaustion. In this episode, we unpack why high-achievers default to managing other people’s behavior, how that erodes trust (and your energy), and what it looks like to lead with clean boundaries instead. You’ll practice shifting from policing to self-ownership, so you can say less, do less, and mean more—without abandoning your standards or your self-respect.

You’ll learn:

How to spot your hidden “manual” and the telltale signs it’s running the show

A simple boundary formula that centers your behavior, not their compliance

The difference between care, control, and coercion—and why it matters for intimacy and leadershipA quick self-coaching loop to interrupt people-pleasing and over-explaining in real time

One tiny experiment to trade perfection for consistency this week

Want help with your real life? Join the 90‑Day Mastermind: six live coaching workshops, audio mini‑lessons to your phone, and a private community of high‑achieving women. We’ll run your exact scenario through the model and stack weekly 10% wins until you feel 100% more you. I’m inviting five to ten women.

Here’s the link: https://www.choosebetterthoughts.com/coachingprogram

Follow me on:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/choosebetterthoughts/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandahuffmandoyle/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And if you like this episode, don’t forget to follow, subscribe, leave a review or send it to a friend who might need this! I am so grateful to you!

You've got this!

In this episode, Amanda turns a big idea into an easy mental game: your thought creates your result. We walk through three everyday moments, hosting with bounce‑house balls and mysterious house piles, over‑prepping for a client, and late‑night wheat thins, and practice flipping the default story to its literal opposite (with three pieces of evidence for your brain) for a quick 10% shift in mindset and results that add up over time

You’ll learn:

How to separate facts from your brain’s story in under 10 seconds

Why your brain thinks the fact causes your feelings (threat scan, gold stars, identity)

The powerful self-coaching model in real life—no jargon

The literal‑opposite trick (not affirmations) + how to gather three pieces of evidence to rewire your brain

An easy action step so you that you can use it this week and make your life feel easier

Want help with your real life?

Join the 90‑Day Mastermind: six live coaching workshops, audio mini‑lessons to your phone, and a private community of high‑achieving women. We’ll run your exact scenario through the model and stack weekly 10% wins until you feel 100% more you. I’m inviting five to ten women. Here’s the link: https://www.choosebetterthoughts.com/coachingprogram

Follow me on:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/choosebetterthoughts/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandahuffmandoyle/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And if you like this episode, don’t forget to follow, subscribe, leave a review or send it to a friend who might need this! I am so grateful to you!

You've got this!

Today’s episode is about that strange paradox we all feel at some point: wanting time to slow down and speed up all at once. This morning, as I dropped off my youngest for her very first day of kindergarten, I felt both: the grief of how quickly she’s growing and the longing for six months from now when life in California feels more settled. If you’ve ever wanted to savor the moment and rush to the next chapter at the same time, this episode is for you.

What You Will Learn

Why it makes perfect sense to want time to both slow down and speed up.

How grief and impatience are signals, not problems, and what they’re really telling you.

What neuroscience and cognitive dissonance reveal about our relationship with time.

How to shift from arguing with time to partnering with it, using small, believable mindset shifts.

Two practical ways to honor what matters: by savoring what’s here and taking one step toward what’s next.

Want to Go Deeper Into Your Mindset?

Watch "How to Exit Survival Mode" Free Training

⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/cbtsurvivalmode⁠⁠⁠⁠

Download the Study Guide:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.choosebetterthoughts.com/podcast-study-guide-download⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Check My Coach Coaching Program:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.choosebetterthoughts.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow Me On:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/choosebetterthoughts/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandahuffmandoyle/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And if you like this episode, don’t forget to follow, subscribe, leave a review or send it to a friend who might need this!

You've got this!

Most women are trying to move through their mornings and evenings with the same expectations, the same mindset, and the same energy, and it’s exhausting. Your body, brain, and emotional capacity are different at the start and end of the day. And you already know how to respond to that difference—for your kids.

In this episode, we look at how your natural parenting instincts, structure and focus in the morning, softness and presence at night, can become a mirror for how to care for yourself. You’ll learn why your nervous system shifts the way it does, how your thoughts follow the same pattern each day, and what it might mean to bring yourself into rhythm with your real life. Not the perfect routine. The one you’re already living.

What You Will Learn

Why your brain and body shift so dramatically from morning to night

What cortisol, decision fatigue, and emotional processing have to do with it

How your parenting instincts can mirror what you need for yourself

Why your morning thoughts feel urgent and your evening thoughts feel heavy

A few simple practices to match the rhythm you’re already living

Want to Go Deeper Into Your Mindset?

Watch "How to Exit Survival Mode" Free Training

⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/cbtsurvivalmode⁠⁠⁠

Download the Study Guide:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.choosebetterthoughts.com/podcast-study-guide-download⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Check My Coach Coaching Program:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.choosebetterthoughts.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow Me On:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/choosebetterthoughts/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandahuffmandoyle/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And if you like this episode, don’t forget to follow, subscribe, leave a review or send it to a friend who might need this!

You've got this!

When you were deep in people-pleasing and perfectionism, the urge was to control. You controlled your tone, your timing, your calendar, your image. You got good at managing how others experienced you. And for a while, it worked. But once you stop performing and start telling the truth, a new urge can show up, the urge to escape. Not because your life is falling apart, but because it was built around a version of you who no longer exists.

This episode is about what happens after the unlearning. When you’re no longer shape-shifting to stay safe, but you still feel trapped inside the choices you made from that old version of you. It’s the part no one talks about: when freedom doesn’t feel freeing yet. We’ll talk about how to recognize the trap, how to understand the urge to escape, and how to stay with yourself long enough to let something new emerge. Not through fixing or burning it all down, but through honesty, presence, and slow return.

What You Will Learn

Why the urge to escape often shows up after you stop controlling everything.

How people-pleasing and perfectionism can shape your entire life, not just your behavior.

What makes this phase feel disorienting, even when nothing is “wrong.”

How to stay with the urge to escape without burning it all down.

Why naming what no longer fits is more powerful than fixing it.

Want to Go Deeper Into Your Mindset?

Watch "How to Exit Survival Mode" Free Training

⁠⁠https://bit.ly/cbtsurvivalmode⁠⁠

Download the Study Guide:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.choosebetterthoughts.com/podcast-study-guide-download⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Check My Coach Coaching Program:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.choosebetterthoughts.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow Me On:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/choosebetterthoughts/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandahuffmandoyle/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And if you like this episode, don’t forget to follow, subscribe, leave a review or send it to a friend who might need this!

You've got this!

You cleared the calendar. You created white space on purpose, but now your brain is filling that space with worry, busywork, or impulse clicks, and you’re wondering why rest feels so weird.

In this episode, I share what’s really going on when we feel restless in the quiet, why your brain instinctively reaches for drama, perfectionism, or dopamine and what you can offer it instead. We’ll talk about the neuroscience behind this “vacuum effect,” the kinds of low-pressure focus that actually help, and one of my favorite mindset tools for building direction without sliding back into hustle.

What You Will Learn

Why your brain doesn’t always interpret white space as peace and what it does instead

The science behind your brain’s default behavior when there’s nothing to solve

How to spot the difference between real presence and reactivity disguised as productivity

What a “gentle chew toy” is and how it can help you refocus without forcing structure

Why direction (not discipline) is often the most effective form of support

Want to Go Deeper Into Your Mindset?

Watch "How to Exit Survival Mode" Free Training

⁠⁠https://bit.ly/cbtsurvivalmode⁠⁠

Download the Study Guide:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.choosebetterthoughts.com/podcast-study-guide-download⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Check My Coach Coaching Program:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.choosebetterthoughts.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow Me On:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/choosebetterthoughts/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandahuffmandoyle/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And if you like this episode, don’t forget to follow, subscribe, leave a review or send it to a friend who might need this!

You've got this!