Christian Home and Family Radical Faith for Generations

www.ChristiandHomeandFamily.com

[email protected]

I was recently asked to speak at a marriage retreat here in the mountains of Colorado. My topic, for four sessions was this...

The 3 Cs of a Christ-Honoring Marriage

Those 3 Cs are: Commitment, Communication, and Connection.

This episode features the first of those talks - Commitment. And it's not the kind of commitment you might think of when you consider marriage. 

Take a listen to this episode to find out about the fundamental commitment each partner in a marriage must have in order to have a truly Christ-honoring relationship.

 

I am one of those people who believes that marriage restoration is possible for any Christ-following couple who is willing to seek God for the type of healing that only He can bring. I’ve seen it happen. So I can confidently say that there is hope for your marriage if you are willing to humbly submit to God’s plan for restoring it. This episode of the podcast is a recording I made as I was driving to pick up my wife from the airport after a visit to her sister’s home in North Carolina. The thoughts were coming rapidly so I decided to record it - and I’m glad I did.

Please forgive the noisy environment - it was in the car. And it was raining. But God gave me a message of hope that I believe is intended for some very specific people I haven’t met yet. But He knows who they are. I trust you’ll find this episode to be a blessing.

Marriage restoration can only happen for those who humbly seek it.

I’ve seen far too many people resort to divorce when they honestly haven’t tried everything they could to restore their relationship. Sometimes it baffles me that individuals would invest so many years of their lives in a relationship and then NOT do EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to restore it. I know pain happens in marriage. I know betrayals go deep. But I also know that many couples who divorce don’t really need to if they would simply trust God to provide the means of healing they need. On this episode I provide a few simple steps for those who want to fight for their marriage, who want to see God restore it.

Outline of This Episode

• [2:08] How we were counseled that “divorce” should never be in our vocabulary.
• [4:55] Why divorce is contrary to the real purpose of marriage.
• [11:10] It’s never too late to recommit to God’s purpose for your marriage.
• [16:45] The kind of faith that matters the most for restoring your marriage.

Resources & People Mentioned

• www.ChristianHomeAndFamily.com/intensives
• Carey(at)ChristianHomeAndFamily(dot)com

This one is my story - of how I learned the importance of good stewardship - not over the money or possessions I have been given - but over something much more important. The PEOPLE in my life.

Contact me at [email protected] 

 

On becoming "Grand-Pop"

As I've been considering the implications of the birth of this second generation that has sprung from me, I've been sobered. Though Wyatt's upbringing falls mainly on my son and his sweet wife, Hannah, I have a deep conviction in my soul that I am responsible in some very important ways as well. Here are some of the things that come to mind:

• For now, they live in the same town as we do, so I have the opportunity to invest the seeds of what God has done in my life, into his life personally - through my interaction with his parents and by building my very own relationship with him (I'm "Grand-Pop," by the way).

• When/if they move away (I'll hate that day when/if it comes), I'll have to be intentional about those things long-distance. I'll have to write letters, send e-mails, make phone calls, do video calls... whatever it takes to make sure that I'm adding to Wyatt's life what the LORD would have me add.

• I can always pray for him... and I'm learning not to take that lightly. I believe that as James says, the prayers of a righteous man avail much (James 5:16). Through Christ I have the opportunity to capitalize on the righteousness He has given to me, on Wyatt's behalf. I can pray for him confidently, powerfully, and according to the truth of God and EXPECT to see good come of it. I'm just learning to do that as I begin my Grand-Pop journey.

A great pattern for prayer

Though I've been a believer in Christ for many years, and have practiced prayer for all that time, I feel like I'm JUST NOW beginning to learn how to pray. I'm just now devoting significant blocks of time to the practice, just now beginning to understand some of what Jesus taught about it, and just now really beginning to apply the head knowledge I've had all these years.

[pullquote]When it comes to prayer, I'm sorrowful it's taken me so long to learn... but grateful for the LORD's patience, mercy, and grace to get me where I need to be.[/pullquote]

Just yesterday, as I was going through my prayer list, I came upon Wyatt's name. The gravity of my responsibility as his "Grand-Pop" almost crushed me. I realized that my prayers for him matter greatly. I wanted to do my utmost to call down the blessing of heaven on his new, but significant life.

As I thought about his infant soul (he's just turned 5 months old) I quickly realized that his main need at this point in life is for the LORD to become his... and for him to become the LORD's. Wyatt, though an "innocent" child, is not innocent at all. He's born a sinner and therefore needs the Savior. I want redemption for him. I want forgiveness for him. I want the new life in Christ that the scriptures promise for all who will believe. I want Wyatt to believe.

So I began to pray... and found myself praying according to the pattern of the "parable of the sower" Matthew 13:3-9. There, Jesus describes a farmer who is planting seed, a symbol of the truth of God. He also describes 4 different soils, symbols for the human soul, where the farmer plants the seed. Different things result in each case. Here's how Jesus describes it and defines it:

VS 3-4: A sower went out to sow.And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them.

Jesus' interpretation - VS 19: When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is what was sown along the path.

I don't want Wyatt's soul to be the kind that is confused or unable to grasp the truth of the word of God's kingdom. I want him to be able to understand. If he's not able to understand, our enemy, the devil, will come and snatch away the seeds his parents and others are planting in his soul. So I pray for Wyatt to be open, receptive, and given understanding to grasp the word of God.

VS 5-6: Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, but when the sun rose they were scorched. And since they had no root, they withered away.

Jesus' interpretation - VS 20-21: As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy, yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away.

I don't want the good work Wyatt's parents are doing in teaching him the ways of the LORD to be something that stays on the surface. I want to see him take it in, deeply, and grow from it. So I pray that the cares of the world and the hardships of life would not be able to quench the joy he can have from a true knowledge of the LORD.

VS 7: Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them.

Jesus' interpretation - VS 22: As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful.

It would break my heart to see Wyatt raised in a home that honors and teaches the word of God faithfully, yet somehow, the deceitfulness of prosperity and the cares of life in a fallen world are able to make him so self-centered and self-protective that he rejects the word for the sake of gaining other, temporary, lesser things. So I pray for Wyatt to have a delight in the word of God... to see it for the treasure that it truly is. I ask the LORD to do this over and over and over in his life each day.

VS 8: Other seeds fell on good soil and produced grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.

Jesus' interpretation - VS 23: As for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it. He indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.

THIS is the kind of life I want for Wyatt, the kind of soul I want the LORD to create in him. I pray that the LORD will make Wyatt's soul into "good soil," able to receive the word of God in all its fullness and power. I want him to understand it, to understand his own need for it, and for that understanding to bear the fruit of a godly, overcoming, God-honoring life.

A prayer for my grandson

Here's the actual prayer I prayed that day... straight from my journal:

Wyatt is in great need of Your redemption dear LORD. He is yet to see his own sin, much less be able to repent of it. Father, prepare the soil of his soul for the seed of Your word. Make it good soil - free of the rocks that prohibit growth and free of the bent toward worries that would cloud his view and fill his heart with fear or self interest. Do not allow the thorns and cares of the world to choke out the seed of truth, the life of Jesus that can set him free. LORD Jesus, make Wyatt into good soil, ready to receive Your word at the appointed time, ready to produce the hundredfold fruit and blessings You have in store for his lifetime.

Why I wrote this post

I don't recount this story to brag or make you think highly of me or my family. I am what I am by the grace of God, and for no other reason (1 Corinthians 15:10).

I write this post to spark your thinking about how YOU can pray for those under your care or in your family line...

• Your spouse
• Your children
• Your grandchildren
• Your great grandchildren
• Your parents
• Your siblings
• Your distant relatives
• And the list goes on...

Who could you be praying for along the lines of Jesus' parable? Who needs YOUR interceding prayer? Will you rise to the challenge and take on warfare for the sake of their soul?

Many parents, Christian or otherwise, have the hardest time letting go of adult children. There’s no easy way to do it and no magic formula that makes everything turn out perfectly. But there is a realization that I’ve come to as I’ve watched 3 of my children move into adulthood: God is faithful - even now - even after I’ve not done everything I could have done to set them on the best path possible.

 

Now that your kids are adults, are you beating yourself up about the way you raised them?

 

If you are, know that you’re not alone. We all have regrets after the fact. We look back with a wisdom we didn’t have at the time - possibly even with insights we have from the school of hard-knocks. We wish we’d done something different, something better. And when our children begin to go down the “not so good” path we set them on through our ignorance or neglect, and continue to do so into adulthood, we can be very hard on ourselves. But I’ve been learning that it’s not too late and that God can bring redemption. After all, it’s what He specializes in.

When letting go of your adult children is hard, cling to God instead.

 

Whether you think you did a good job raising your kids or not, it’s easy to second-guess and it’s easy to want to “ensure” that your kids make the right choices as they move into adulthood. But the reality is that you can’t do that. They are adults now - and need to be ALLOWED to be adults, bad choices and all. But that doesn’t mean you take a back seat, that you simply leave them to their own devices. You can cling to God in faith, trusting His faithfulness to guide your children as you let go of them. That’s what this episode is about - my realization of how true that reality is - and some words of encouragement for those who may be in the same boat.

 

Connect With Carey

 

• Carey(at)ChristianHomeAndFamily(dot)com
• On Twitter

On Facebook

Seasons of change are part of life. There’s no avoiding it. Sometimes the season can linger for much longer than we like. Other times it’s fairly brief. And as is common for almost everyone, change is hard to handle. The same goes for me.

I’ve been away from the Christian Home and Family podcast and website for some time. You may have seen a few blog posts pop up here and there when something was on my heart, but the truth is that I’ve been anything but consistent. This episode of the jump-started podcast is aimed at explaining my absence and hopefully, I can also give you some idea of where I think this thing is headed in the future.

Unexpected seasons of change and how to handle them

If you’ve never been through an unexpected and significant season of change I can tell you, it’s something that throws your whole world off kilter. The things you thought you were supposed to be doing suddenly lose their place in the list of priorities. You have to restructure almost everything. At least that’s how it was for me. But I learned something powerfully important during my most recent time of change. I’d like to share it with you on this episode.

Where is God when sudden and unexpected changes hit?

When sudden unexpected changes come to significant areas of your life, things like your career - that was it for me - it can be very disheartening and disorienting. It’s easy to question God, to wonder where He is in the mess. It’s hard to believe but He’s right there, in the middle of the mess. In fact, He’s the one who’s making it - and for good purposes that you can’t see. You can hear how it happened to me and what I learned from it if you make the time to listen. I hope you will.

Is radical faith for generations still on my radar?

I started a podcast way back in 2012 (I think). The Christian Home and Family podcast - and it’s taken on many different forms since then - is something I still love and still want to promote. But I simply haven’t had the time over the past 3 or 4 years. But I THINK that is changing. So I’m giving it a go again. Here’s my approach and what I’m thinking. I hope you’ll get on board to help me challenge Christ-following parents to set their sights higher, to radical faith that lasts for generations.

Connect With CHRISTIAN HOME AND FAMILY

• Carey(at)ChristianHomeAndFamily.com

In the last installment of this podcast I thrust you deep into the recesses of my mind… I hope it wasn’t too scary.

My goal was to take you on the journey that I took as I was trying to unpack the notion of radical faith, because when it comes to faith in Jesus, I don’t want to be normal… at least not the kind of normal that is normal in the world today.

That makes sense… right?

If it doesn’t make sense to you, it will probably help if you stop this episode and go listen to the first one. It’s the context for what I’m going to go into today, so you really should take the time. If you want to do that, you can find it at ChristianHomeandFamily.com/#1.

Last time we discovered that radical faith has actually been around since the beginning of time and that the original human couple was expected to pass it down to their children.

That’s where we’re going on this episode of Radical Faith for Generations

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: http://www.christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/

 

It’s time to look at the “for generations” piece.

This part came to me like a bolt of lightning one day as I read through Psalm chapter 78. It was shocking (no pun intended) to see a deep, undefined longing of my heart expressed so clearly in 6 simple verses. Here’s how it reads in the ESV

I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark saying from of old, things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments, and that they should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God.

There are 4 unavoidable things in this passage that grabbed my attention:

 The desire expressed is the same desire I have: children who set their hope in God, remember His works, and keep his commandments.

 The writer has a vision that goes beyond his own children: there are at least 5 generations mentioned in this passage. 5 generations. Wow. That’s taking the long view.

 Intentionality is at the heart of the passage. Notice the action words: “I will open my mouth… I will utter… we will not hide them… but tell to the coming generation…”

  The glory and awesomeness of God is central.

Back in 2010 is when it hit me for the first time as I read this passage. Generational faith is not a pipe dream. It’s what God has intended all along.

It didn’t take much for me to see what it could look like.

My oldest son had just gotten married. I could imagine his children, and their children, and their children, all drawing from the spring of deep fellowship with the LORD Jesus to live radically faithful lives.

I could imagine what it would take to do that… a clear view of the awesomeness and glory of God,

Radical faith for generations.

That’s the boiled-down, no-extra-words version of the outrageous goal I’m aiming at, in my family… and in yours.

You’re invited to join me as we discover what radical faith in Christ really looks like, how we get it, and what we must do to pass it along to our children

And their children, and their children.

Let’s dive in.

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: http://www.christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/

 

Radical Faith for Generations – Episode 1

I may just be me, but the word “radical” seems to be a very trendy word these days. A quick Google search on the word brings up radical sports cars, radical skincare, and even radical bowling.

It seems like “radical” is way overused, and even misused. As I was getting opinions from Google Plus friends about the cover art for this podcast, one person said they didn’t like the name for exactly that reason. She said,

“Radical” is so overly used. I see this so much in Christian circles and in the world. With all due respect, I cringe at the word. For me, I’d not look twice, simply because of the word “radical.”

I get what my G+ friend is saying. Words can become so overused and misused that they lose their meaning entirely. And that is EXACTLY why I’ve chosen to use “radical” in my mission, and consequently, in the name of this podcast.

I want to redeem the word, to use it ACCURATELY to communicate a powerful point about Christian faith and the impact it should have in our families. In this inaugural episode of the podcast, I’m going to make a case for why the use of the word “radical” is entirely appropriate for my mission to spur families toward generational faith.

This should be fun.

RADICAL FAITH FOR GENERATIONS

You could call it my new mantra, my elevator pitch, my unique selling proposition, my “gotta communicate this before I die” mission.

The idea is so important to me that I’m dedicating the rest of my life to teaching what it is and how parents can position their families to achieve it.

Here’s what it means in a nutshell:

Radical faith for generations is dream to see generation after generation after generation of my family and yours living out passionately faithful lives in service to our Jesus.

Not one child a casualty.

Not one generation lukewarm or lazy.

Does that sound crazy to you? It sort of is. Our culture has worked overtime to convince us that following Jesus with that kind of dedication and zeal is too extreme. It could be embarrassing, personally risky, or cause tension with our coworkers or neighbors.

But the way I see it, Jesus did the craziest thing of all in becoming human for the likes of us… I mean, why would GOD become man? It doesn’t compute.

Yet He did it – out of love (John 3:16)

If it’s a crazy idea to think that families actually CAN pass the message of Jesus down through the generations effectively, then call me crazy. I feel like I’m in good company.

That’s because most ideas that change the world do sound a bit odd at first. They sound that way because they’re outside the box of what humans normally think. In fact,

Family conflicts can make life inside the home horrendous. Nobody wants to be around when arguing, fighting, and complaining are the norm.

So how do you get past the arguing?

You get past it by preventing it in the first place. And you do that through working hard toward every person in the family having a right relationship with God.

Yes, really. I know we'd all like to know how to stop sinning, and the truth is that the Bible gives us plain, simple instructions for how to do it.

But even though it's simple, it's not easy.

Every believer in Christ has the opportunity to apply what John says (1 John) and stop sinning. It's a daily, step by step discipline we have to develop.

This episode of the podcast is going to highlight the only path to stop sinning, and give some tips on how to move in that direction.