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Christ is the most influential figure in the history of the world, though his life ended in shame, humiliation and failure. But he so completely turned things round in his great reversal that the cross on which he died when everything seemed hopeless is now the most common and revered symbol in history.

He emerged from and was anchored in Judaism. And as the sins of the people were laid on the scapegoat who was sent into the wilderness to perish, Christ died as the lamb of God voluntarily bearing the guilt of the wrongdoing of the whole world, paying the price for our forgiveness with his life-blood--in accordance with the iron law of the physical and moral universe, of sowing and reaping, cause and effect. 

And so, God who appeared as flames of fire to Moses, can dwell within us, purifying us, whose hearts have darkness and shards of ice. 

And now, that Christ was crucified, died, but rose again, His Spirit, no longer contained within his earthly body, is poured out like living water onto all humans, at our request. The Spirit pours the love of God into us; he reminds us of the words of Jesus and slowly writes Christ’s sweet law on our hearts. This transfusion of grace helps us do hard things we previously couldn’t do. Our dance with the Spirit gradually breaks the power of sin over us. It transforms us.

Now we, the forgiven, protected by the blood of Jesus poured out over us, and filled with His Spirit, who sings within us, Abba, Father, are adopted by God as his children in his joyful new covenant. We are cells grafted into the vine of our new family--Father, Son, Spirit—who now live in us as we live in them. As we choose by our thoughts and actions to continue living in the vine of Jesus, their energy pulsing through us makes us fruitful. And now, all our prayers which flow in the river of God’s good purposes are kindly heard. Waves of love and power flood from the cross!  Thank you! 

My memoir:   Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India UK   USA

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Jesus, in his Parable of the Talents, vividly illustrates how 

human life and God’s kingdom work. Our life is a story we

co-write with God, who hands us plot outlines: geography,

gender, genetics, socio-economic position, creativity, health,

personality, temperament, as well as our unique, innate gifts.

God, considering our abilities, assigns us niches in his

ecosystem, prominent vocations, or quieter ones. But

God is kind to all, lavishing on us life itself, nature, sunshine, 

sleep, the joy of movement, and human kindness. As well 

as individual gifts!  We each have 600 to 700 talents– 

Rick Warren cites research! –most of which we never use.

Our vocations are a test, and our happiness and biography

pivot on how we use our gifts. Those who rarely squander

time but invest in their talents lead ever-bigger lives. Their 

gifting and influence expands exponentially. They spot and

mine hidden opportunities, and experience success, 

financially, too; an always-interesting life, and the exhilaration

of achieving their goals with good work which blesses many.

Some, though, do not nurture their talents, feeling resentful

and defeated as they side-eye those with five times their assets

of family, education, charisma, connections, capital, time, 

intelligence, good looks or good sense. Fearing their work may

come to nothing, they attempt little, leading grudging, lazy

lives. Their talents, unused, wither, creating a vacuum for the

hard-working to shine. This slothfulness leads to loneliness,

sadness, and judgement, while the gifts of the diligent multiply.

To savour the excitement of living, we need eyes bright

with bounce-out-of-bed purpose—and the gift of purpose

has been given to us: to focus our lives on excellent work

with our gifts, great or small. This delivers us from 

wasting our precious lives on triviality. It rescues us from

a black hole of addictions to success, money, fame, 

or phones. It is the pathway to happiness and abundance.  

And, on any day, during any decade of our lives, we can

start revising them, and rewrite a beautiful new story. 

And though we may be well, well behind those who have

steadfastly used their abilities, if we now assess what we

can do with our current strength and energy, which changes

as we do, and then nourish our neglected gifts, starting 

with those which most make our hearts sing, those talents

will blossom, filling the rest of our lives with aliveness, 

new interests, and new opportunities to be a blessing to

the world which God so loves. And, in God’s kindness,

our five loaves may yet feed five thousand

My memoir:   Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India UK   USA

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The Kingdom of God (which is, partly, a mysterious, shimmering internal palace in which we experience righteousness, peace and joy) is, in lightning flashes, here already—we can leap into it—though not yet fully here. We sense the rainbowed presence of Christ in the joy which pulses through creation. Christ strolls into our rooms with his wisdom and guidance & things change. Prayers are answered, we are healed, our hearts are strangely warmed. Sometimes.

And yet, we also experience sin, deep within & all around us. Our own sin, which steals our peace and distorts the trajectory of our lives. And the sin of the world--its greed, dishonesty and environmental destruction.

But in this broken world, in which we have a spiritual adversary, we still experience the glory of creation; “coincidences” which accelerate once we start praying, and shalom which envelops us like sudden sunshine. Portals into this Kingdom include repentance, gratitude, meditative breathing, and absolute surrender.

Christ's Kingdom is “here already, yet not yet here.” Christ, 

who rose from the dead, is now forever, vibrantly alive; he 

stalks the earth. We sense him in the joy of all creation. 

In lightning flashes , we glimpse his shimmering Kingdom

--great palaces of peace deep within us. On invitation, Christ 

walks into our rooms with his clarity and wisdom, and things 

change. We sometimes experience wave upon wave of the

 love of God deep within and all around us. Our prayers are 

answered. Sometimes. We are healed. Sometimes. We feel our hearts 

strangely warmed with loving-kindness and warm-fuzzies. Sometimes.

But we also experience sin, deep within and all around us. 

We are bruised by other people’s greed, stinginess, bossiness, 

And then…there’s the sin of the world—the cruelty, pride, 

unbridled greed and environmental destruction!

And yet,  the Kingdom, God’s presence, is always available

--its peace, its guidance, its wisdom and its joy. We can 

leap sideways into it, sometimes. Or it may take a hard 

wrestling with our own traumas, grudges, habits, and neurology. 

Repentance is one portal into the Kingdom.  As is our slow

meditative breathing. As is gratitude. And absolute surrender.

Our eyes still perceive the glory of the coming of the Lord--

in surprising joy and shalom, well-being, which envelops us like 

sudden sunshine; in glacially slow but unmistakeable personal 

change; in the acceleration of coincidences and answers once we 

start praying; in the glory of creation. And so, we, 

with quivering voices, sing our broken hallelujahs as we observe 

Christ’s kingdom inexorably, infinitesimally appear on earth, too.

My memoir:   Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India UK   USA

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"Those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who

humble themselves will be exalted." And so, Jesus states a law

of life. Those who broadcast their amazingness will be humbled,

since God dislikes--scorns that, as much as people do.  For to

trumpet our success, wealth, brilliance, giftedness or popularity

is to get distracted from the purpose for which we were created

into pointless, worthless activity. Those who love power, who are 

sure they know best, and who must be the best, will eventually be

humbled by God and life. For their focus has shifted from loving

God, doing good work, and being a blessing to their family, friends, 

and the world towards impressing others, being enviable, perhaps 

famous. These things are houses built on sand, which will crumble

when hammered by the waves of old age, infirmity or adversity. 

God resists the proud, Scripture tells us--those who strive

for the admiration, attention and power which is His alone

but He helps the humble. So how do we resist pride? We 

slow down, so that we notice and repent when sheer pride 

sparks our allergies to people, our enmities, our determination

to have our own way, or our grandiose pride-driven goals, dreams and ambitions.

Once we stop chasing limelight or showing off, a great quietness

steals over our lives. We no longer need the drug of continual 

achievement, or to share memories or images of glittering travel, 

parties, prizes or friends. We just enjoy them quietly. My life 

is for itself, and not for a spectacle, Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote.

And, as Jesus advises, we don’t sharp-elbow ourselves to

the most prominent place with the shiniest people, but are 

content to hang out with ordinary people, where we may

learn new things, and develop our character, kindness and

empathy, if not our network. And then, as Jesus said, we will 

inevitably, eventually, be summoned higher to where, perhaps, 

the conversation is more heady and sparkling, or perhaps

 upwards to sit with those of a gentle, humble and radiant heart.

So how do we cultivate humility? J I Packer suggests: “Consider

everything you know about yourself. If other people knew it, 

would they esteem you? They would all think, ‘What a rascal!’

So, why are you esteeming yourself better than anyone else?”

One day, every knee will bow before the gentle lamb 

who was slain, now seated on the throne. We will all be silent 

before him. Let us live gently then, our eyes on Christ, 

continually asking for his power, his Spirit, and his direction, 

moving, dancing, in the direction that we sense him move. 

My memoir:   Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India UK   USA

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Christ’s theological and political enemies try, always try, to catch him out with multitudes of trick questions. Which is the greatest commandment in the law? they ask, craftily, ready to make a case for the one he does not choose.

And from the morass of the 613 commands in the Torah, Christ chooses just two. The great and first commandment, the megale and protos commandment, he says, is to love God, with all our heart, and with all our soul, and with all our mind. Love God, because he, creator of the universe, and of you; lover of the world and of you; dream-giver, dream-granter, is worthy of our love. 

The second one is like it, love your neighbour as yourself; do unto others what you wish they would do unto you. Treat yourself gently; treat others gently. The entire law and the prophets hang on these two commandments, Jesus says. 

And Jesus models living these commandments--waking early, and slipping to lonely places to chat with his father; maintaining his physical, mental and spiritual health by hiking to be alone with God in deserts, by the River Jordan, on mountains, in gardens. And he loved people, sharing bread and wine he created by the power of faith, cooking fish for his friends, bringing healing through his presence, his words, and his wisdom.

A great golden triad on which to base our lives--love of God, of others, and of our own selves.

My memoir:   Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India UK   USA

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Jesus, wise as a serpent, gentle as a dove, brave as a lion. 

Outraged at those who attempted to make money off people’s faith and longing for God, he rampages through the temple, overturning the tables of the moneychangers. He heals, he teaches; he’s proclaimed as Messiah. And he incurs the wrath of his old enemies, the chief priests and elders who ask: Who gave you the authority to do such things? 

But Jesus coolly answers their hostile questions with a loaded question of his own, trapping the trappers.

So cool, so calm, so wise! We have no record of Jesus running, rushing, being stressed or lacking peace. He never speaks on his own he tells us, without checking in with the Father. So, no foolish, ill-judged statements. 

How do we develop these traits? Long before the day of testing, we must practice breathing, and tuning in to the frequency of the Father. We remember, fearlessly, that our interrogators have no power over our lives which the Father has not permitted them. That our life is in our Father’s hands. That not all questions need to be answered. For feeding pearls of wisdom to hungry pigs, would risk you, the edible, being devoured. Jesus directly answered just three of the 183 questions he was asked, refusing to answer some, answering others with a good question. 

Wisdom begins by slowing down and checking in with the Father before we speak or act. His wisdom percolates through our souls as we practice asking him for the best way to do things, organise a home, or write. And then we build upwards, asking for wisdom in ever more complex things. 

Listening for the voice of God before we speak, tapping into the Spirit, which Jesus calls streams of living water within us, will give us the wisdom to know what to say which, frequently, is nothing at all. It will quieten us with the silence of God, which sings through the world, through sun and stars, sky and flowers.

My memoir:   Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India UK   USA

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So, Joseph, intending to quietly break up with his fiancée, Mary, found pregnant, though not be him, is assured by an angel that she had conceived by the power of God’s spirit, and the child would be the long-awaited Messiah, who would deliver people from the chokehold of their sins.

And Joseph is not afraid, and lightning-bolt “coincidences” verified the angel’s words. A new star appeared in the heavens, and astrologers from the East, laden with gifts for the new King, followed it, until it stopped over a manger, where the temporarily homeless Jesus was laid. A location described by an angel to shepherds doing a night watch, who then visited. 

But then, an angel revisits Joseph with a different message. No longer “Do not be afraid,” but flee with the child to Egypt, for jealous, insecure  Herod, hearing from the Magi of this baby and forever King, plans to kill him.

Do not be afraid, but yet flee? Become a refugee? But the angel’s original statements were verified by so many coincidences…Magi appearing with gold which would sustain them in Egypt, angel-sent shepherds with rumours of great companies of angels singing of coming peace.

Joseph flees.

Fear is allowing ourselves to be frozen or panicked by imaginary what-ifs. It tenses our bodies; strains health, sleep and relationships; makes us stingy with ourselves and others; leads to overwork, and time wasted doing pointless things for fear of people’s ill opinions.

Prudence is wisdom--using our experience and spiritual discernment as we battle the demonic forces of this dark world, in Paul’s phrase. It’s fighting with divinely powerful weapons: truth, righteousness, faith, Scripture, and prayer, while surrendering our thoughts to Christ.  

So let’s act prudently, wisely and bravely, silencing fear, while remaining alert to God’s guidance, delivered through inner peace or intuitions of danger and wrongness, our spiritual senses tuned to the Spirit’s “No,” his “Slow,” his “Go,” as cautious as a serpent, protected, while being as gentle as a dove, or a lamb among wolves.

My memoir:   Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India UK   USA

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Tamar, who seduced her father-in-law, Judah.   Rahab, a Canaanite prostitute. Bathsheba, mother of Solomon, who was raped by David. Jacob, scammer and inheritance thief! Solomon, with 300 concubines and 700 wives. They were all among the chosen ancestors of Jesus. From them, he came. Iraqis, Canaanites, Moabites, Hittites, Ammonites--were all named as his ancestors. From all of them, Christ came.

And he came for everyone. All can dive into the cascades of his love. He is Jesus for everyone. For the brilliant and the shallow, the selfish and the kind. For those who’ve memorised their Bibles and those who rarely open them; those whose prayers move mountains, and those who worry instead; for the theologically erudite, and those with childlike faith. Liars, embezzlers, the avaricious, psychopaths, sociopaths, the sad and those who sadden others: to all, his redemption is offered.

He came for people from every nation and language. For those we respect and find interesting and those we secretly dislike, judge, and are threatened by. For the pushy and the gentle, for strivers and the lazy, for the ethical and the dishonest, he comes, bearing gifts: the ability to give and receive love, answered prayer, his guidance, his presence, his wisdom, his peace.

Nothing separates the thirsty heart from his love, not our stinginess, vengefulness, malice,  untruthfulness, selfishness or manipulations, things he understands, for he lived among us, and loved us and left us the inheritance of his Spirit to change us.

And we come to him through the narrow gates of repentance, of surrender of all that we have and are to him, of soaking in sections of his ancient sacred book. We come humbly, breathing and praying: Come into my heart, Lord Jesus. There is room in my heart for you. And he will come again, with grace, with transformation, as he did all those years ago, when he came for everyone, and he came for you. Maranatha, come Lord Jesus!

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So counter-cultural were Jesus’s values, that even those who lived with him continuously for three years could not fully grasp them.

So his spirited apostles, James and John, whom he called “The Sons of Thunder,” get their mum to ask him for the places of the greatest prestige and visibility, on his right and left, in his court, once he came into his Kingdom.

And the other ten are indignant! Jesus asks them to cluster around him and explains (once again!) the ground rules of the topsy-turvy kingdom he is inaugurating. They are not to lord it over others or boss them around. The greatest, the one who is first, will be the one who is a blessing to others. And so, he offers them, not the second or third place, but the first place in the lives of those they encounter. Be the one who sees others, listens intently, slows down for others, cares for them, helps them.

Such a person is always one of the greatest people in the lives of those blessed to encounter them. They don’t need to sharp-elbow themselves to sit with the greatest. To those whom they have blessed, they are the greatest, in the way Christ himself modelled. They have used their one, two or five talents to bless others, to find the place where their deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet. 

My memoir:   Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India UK   USA

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So Jesus makes a beautiful offer to the earnest, moral young man who came to him, seeking a spiritual life: Come, follow me. Remarkably, the young man claimed that he has kept all the commandments from his youth, including the command to love one’s neighbour as oneself, a statement Jesus does not challenge.

The challenge Jesus does offers him, however, the man cannot accept—to sell his vast possessions, give the money to the poor, and follow Jesus encumbered.

He leaves, grieving, and Jesus looks at him, loves him, and famously observes that it’s easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to live in the world of wonders which is living under Christ’s kingship, guidance and protection. 

He reassures his dismayed disciples, however, that with God even the treasure-burdened can squeeze into God’s kingdom, “for with God, all things are possible.”

Following him would quite literally mean walking into a world of daily wonders, and immensely rich conversation, walking through Israel, Lebanon, Syria, and Jordan, quite impossible to do with suitcases and backpacks laden with treasure. 

For what would we reject God’s specific, internally heard whisper or directive, a micro-call? That is the idol which currently grips and possesses us. 

Not all of us have great riches, nor is money everyone’s greatest temptation—it can be success, fame, universal esteem, you name it…

But, since with God all things are possible, even those who waver in their pursuit of God can still experience him in fits and snatches, find our spirits singing on a walk or during worship in church, or find our hearts strangely warmed by Scripture, and, sometimes, even “see” Christ stand before us. 

     For Christ looks at us, Christ loves us, and says, “With God, all things are possible,” even we,  the flawed, entering his beautiful Kingdom.  

My memoir:   Rosaries, Reading, Secrets: A Catholic Childhood in India UK   USA

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