Christian Woman Leadership Podcast with Esther Littlefield & Holly Cain

What is it like to walk away from what you know to venture out in unknown territory? How do you step away from something secure to pursue the lifestyle that works best for your family? What are practical ways you can lead in all the areas of your life as you parent, lead a business or ministry, and run a household?

For those who are a wife, mom, homeschooler, and entrepreneur, how can you do it all? In this episode, I talk with business owner, podcaster, wife, and mom Jocelyn Sams about how she and her husband walked away from stable incomes to start a new lifestyle so they could have a flexible schedule with their children.

Jocelyn's Leadership Journey:

After college, Jocelyn and her husband Shane both worked full-time and they asked each other, "Is this all there is?" After a bad experience with their daycare, they wanted to find a way to be at home and still provide income for their family.

At that time, Jocelyn was a librarian while Shane taught history and coached football. She blogged library lesson plans with the intent to sell them as a side business. She made $2,000 in her first month.

They realized that you don't have to work in the traditional way, so they launched Flipped Lifestyle in 2014.

How Faith Plays a Role in Their Business

Faith played a major role in their lives when they faced quitting their jobs. This decision came with lots of prayer and trusting that God would provide.

They also include a Bible verse on their Flipped Lifestyle podcast, which is their way to sprinkle in the truth without beating people over the head with their faith.

How Jocelyn Defines Leadership

For Jocelyn, leadership is having some courage to help people go from where they are to where they can go.

Tools Jocelyn Loves to Discover How You're Wired

She and her husband are "obsessed" with personality tests. She prefers the Myers-Briggs and the Enneagram.

The Sams use the test results so they can better understand each other's strengths and weaknesses. They also take advantage of the strengths, to support each other, and to counteract weaknesses. After years in business, they've also learned that they prefer working with smaller teams.

Jocelyn's Advice for Younger Leaders

God put us all here for a purpose. Part of the point of the journey is figuring out how you can use your gifts. Pray and ask God what He wants you to do. Seek God.

Find strong women who are doing what you want to do and see what they're doing.

Don't worry about what everyone else is saying to you. Find a group that supports and speaks truth into your life.

Jocelyn's Mentors

Jocelyn considers her husband Shane one of her mentors. She also has a small group of women -- all Christian women business owners -- that encourage each other.

When You're Scared to Start

Whether you want to launch an online business or try a new approach to your schedule, it's important to get your mindset right. Society tells us what we "should" do, but Jocelyn notes: "You have to convince yourself I can do this, this possible, and I actually want to do it."

Decide to do it. Start taking action.

Remember this truth:

You can deviate from your college degree. Take a chance and see what happens.

Also, figure out the way you lead your people. Learn what works for you: what do you need to delegate and what do you need to do yourself.

How Jocelyn Navigates Leading + Life

Jocelyn is a wife, mom, entrepreneur, home-school teacher, and friend. She knows how hard it is at times. She and Shane try things and see what's working and change the things that aren't working.

Habits + Routines that Help Jocelyn Lead Effectively

She meditates using the Headspace app, which was recommended by her counselor after a time of intense stress. Each guided meditation is about 10 to 15 minutes long and helps her silence her brain.

She also keeps a gratitude journal.

What Jocelyn Does to Outsource for Her Home

When she and Shane first started their business, their children were 3 years old and 18 months old. At first, they did everything: work full-time, all housework and yard work, and all the kid stuff.

As the business grew, she wanted to outsource housework: laundry, dishes, tidying up. She realized something had to give. Now they have a woman who works 20 to 25 hours a week running errands, doing chores, and getting the laundry done.

You can tell yourself that no one can clean and organize your home the way you want it done, but she now experiences rest at the end of the day instead of worrying about or doing chores.

Leaders Are Learners:

Profit First by Mike Michalowicz *

Key Quotes from the Episode:

• "When God is saying, 'Do this," and the rest of the world is saying "Do that,' that's a scary point in your life …" - Jocelyn Sams
• "There is no reason for us to sit idly by and wonder, 'When am I going to become a leader?'" - Jocelyn Sams
• "Finding positive people who are going to speak into your life in a positive way when it comes to leadership is really important." - Jocelyn Sams
• "You don't have to stay in your lane." - Jocelyn Sams
• "It's ok for everything not to be perfect … Sometimes life is going to be a little messy." - Jocelyn Sams

Episode Sponsor: Morningstar Media Services Connect with Esther and Holly:

• Esther's Website
• Holly's Website
• Instagram
• Facebook Group
• Facebook Page

*Affiliate link

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode54.

You listen to this podcast because you have a desire to grow and learn. But WHY do you want to learn? And what does it mean to create a "lifestyle of learning"?

In today's episode, Holly and I continue in our Wellness Series by sharing 3 principles that will help you build a lifestyle of learning. Part of personal wellness is staying healthy mentally, emotionally, and even intellectually, so we want to dive into how to create some of these habits.

Why Learning is Important

Learning isn't just about having information, but about developing wisdom with the information we learn. The Bible tells us over and over to gain wisdom and knowledge (Proverbs 1:7, 4:6-7, 8:12).

What is a "lifestyle of learning"?

We're not talking about making drastic changes like going back to college or spending hours every day studying. We don't mean that you suddenly become someone who has all kinds of knowledge about life and leadership. A lifestyle of learning means making mindset shifts and small habit changes to continue to grow and learn on an ongoing basis.

The Three Principles to Build a Lifestyle of Learning 1st Principle: Stay Curious

• Read and study. Read books. Listen to podcasts. Take courses.
• Be willing to ask questions. Look for opportunities in conversations to ask questions and remain curious while doing so.
• Go figure it out. Search for the answers you need.
• Don't be afraid of failure.
• Get experience. Do it and process how it went. Don't be afraid to jump in and learn as you go.
• Ask God what He wants to teach you. You might be surprised what He starts doing.

2nd Principle: Stay Coachable

• Be willing to learn from people who are further ahead than you.
• Follow people who are where you want to be. Listen to podcasts. Read blogs and books. Take courses. Watch a TV show.
• Never have the attitude of "I've got it all figured out."
• Find a mentor. Connect with someone you can watch work and live life with so you can learn how they handle tough situations.
• Accept feedback and guidance. Listen to your mentor, leader, pastor, friends.
• Accept God's direction.

3rd Principle: Stay Connected

• Intentionally connect with the people you want to learn from. Sometimes you can learn from someone for free and other times you may need to invest money.
• Work with a team. When you work as part of a team, you gain the insight and wisdom of all the members
• Take notes. When you write things down, your brain actually remembers better. This can also help you when you want to look back over what you've learned - you'll be more connected to reality because you can see in writing what you've been learning.
• Stay connected with other leaders who are also on a similar path as you.
• Stay connected to God.

How to Practically Build a Lifestyle of Learning

For me, I listen to podcasts, read the Bible, take courses that cover specific areas where I want to improve and invest in a life coach for clarity and support.

For Holly, she listens to podcasts, studies the Bible, gets certifications in areas that impact her business, and understands that some things will come more naturally or be easier for her than others.

Conclusion:

Building a lifestyle of learning does not have to be complicated. It may just mean a few mindset shifts to help you stay curious, coachable, and connected.

It also doesn't have to take up a huge chunk of time. When you integrate some of these ideas into your daily routine, you'll learn while doing things you normally do.

Building a lifestyle of learning does mean that we are intentional, just like we talked about on our initial wellness episodes. One way that you can be intentional about growing as a leader is to join the Confident Leader Club.

For the full show notes for this episode, visit estherlittlefield.com/episode53.

Episode Sponsor: Confident Leader Club

If you listen to the episode the week it airs, the Confident Leader Club is currently open for you to join! If you desire to be connected with other women in similar roles and avoid the loneliness that often comes with leadership, then this is the place for you.

The Confident Leader Club is a monthly membership that provides you with community, growth, and action.

You'll gain access to our private Facebook group where you can connect and interact with other leaders who are business owners and ministry leaders just like you. On our monthly leadership support calls, you can chat with myself and others about the highs and lows of leadership.

You'll also grow through our training library and additional video or audio resources released month - these are designed based on the needs of the group so you can have direct input into the type of trainings I'm creating.

Finally, you will be encouraged to take action on your goals as a leader through our monthly Take Action calls and accountability within the group!

If you'd like to learn more, head over to confidentleaderclub.com. We would love to have you join us!

If you're hearing this episode after the club has closed, be sure to hop on the waiting list so that you can be informed when we open again!

Connect with Esther and Holly:

• Esther's Website
• Holly's Website
• Instagram
• Facebook Group
• Facebook Page

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode53.

Let's face it. Sometimes you can be doing all the right things when it comes to staying healthy as a leader, and you still have days you want to quit. Wanting to quit is a temptation every leader faces, but what do you do with that feeling?

What do you do when you want to quit? How do you know whether you actually SHOULD stop doing something or not? What are some ways to deal with the reality of life and the fact that sometimes you deal with situations that lead you to want to quit?

In this next episode in our Wellness Series, Holly and I dig in and share real-life examples of when we've wanted to quit. We also break down three steps to take when you want to throw your hands in the air and walk away.

Step #1: Evaluate

It's important to honestly and factually assess what's going on. Within the first step of evaluation, here are questions to ask yourself and small steps to take:

1. Ask yourself why you are feeling this way and remind yourself of the facts. What real-life circumstances that may be causing you to feel this way?
2. Have a friend help you sift through the situation… are your emotions taking over? Get perspective from someone else. When I'm in this place, I need someone else to speak truth over me so that I don't get sucked into my own head.
3. Determine if there is too much on your plate. Have you committed to more than you can handle?
4. Do you have your priorities straight doing what God asked you to do?
5. Have you been consistently spending time with God, or have you slacked off and ignored Him?
6. Remind yourself of your life mission, vision for the future, your values, personality, and gifting.

Step #2: Give up

Don't quit, but give control over to God. Sometimes we must acknowledge that we cannot, in fact, do this on our own. Here are several small steps you can take to help you give up control to God:

1. Stop trying to do all the things perfectly.
2. Give yourself grace. Especially if the reality check you did earlier helped you to recognize some very real reasons you might be feeling this way. Perhaps you need to give yourself time or space to deal with those emotions.
3. We need to get better at accepting that suffering is part of life. Hard stuff happens - grief happens - life is not perfect. It's okay to be sad sometimes and it's okay to feel like throwing in the towel.
4. Give up being driven by emotions. Give yourself more regular reality checks. Trust someone to tell you what is real.

Step #3: Make a Plan

Making a plan helps you move forward. Here are questions to ask and small steps to take so you can formulate a plan that works for you:

1. What can you actually quit? Will the world fall apart if you stop doing x, y, z?
2. What priorities has God called you to? Hopefully, this realization will help you easily weed out the extra on your plate.
3. Outsource/delegate the things you can't quit but someone else could do them (housework, admin tasks, carpool)
4. What habits need to change?
5. Create a daily routine that fits your personality and real life.

Conclusion:

If you still feel like quitting, you might actually need to quit something (maybe). You may also benefit from speaking to a counselor. BUT, if you know this is what God has called you to, then don't give up.

Other Episodes Mentioned:

• What to Do When the Tears Keep Falling: 5 Ways to Cope as a Mom
• Motherhood: The Most Difficult Leadership Role
• Self Care for Moms of Intense Children: Why it Matters & What to Do About It
• Episode 8: The Key to Becoming a Better Leader
• Episode 10: Finding Your Purpose
• Episode 36 - Ditching Balance for Surrender
• Episode 45: Developing Confidence in Your Gifts + Managing Multiple Roles with Breshana Miller
• Episode 47: Moving from Shame to Freedom + Pursuing God-Shaped Dreams with Merritt Onsa
• Episode 48: Staying Healthy as a Leader Part 1
• Episode 50: Staying Healthy as a Leader Part 2
• Holly's blog post: Lead with Your Scars

Episode Sponsor: Confident Leader Club

The Confident Leader Club is a resource designed for Christian women who want to receive additional community, growth, and action. Each month, members of the club receive a practical training developed by me (or other amazing women) that will help you grow in your faith, leadership, or relationships. We also have a monthly Take Action call where you can focus on one project or goal during the time allotted. Plus, we also have a book club and other fun things going on! Join us here or get on the wait list.

Connect with Esther and Holly:

• Esther's Website
• Holly's Website
• Instagram
• Facebook Group
• Facebook Page

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode52.

What do you do when you feel like God is asking you to pivot in your life or business? How do you build confidence when you feel like your lacking in an area? And how can you redefine the concept of wealth in your life?

Podcast guest, author, speaker, coach, and media personality Patrice Washington shares her insights into leadership, how to trust God through transition, and how to build confidence in your calling. If you're struggling with trust, change, and what to do next, Patrice shares insight after insight in this episode.

Patrice's Leadership Journey

Patrice is America's Money Maven, but she didn't start out with that title. She launched her business as a real estate and mortgage broker at the age of 21, but when the recession hit, she lost everything. God led her to Proverbs 17:16 and from there she launched a blog, pursued wisdom, and looked for books to help her define who she was.

She was greatly impacted by Talane Miedaner's book Coach Yourself to Success, which encourages the reader to look back in time to help her discover her purpose. Patrice realized that she had been a leader since she pursued a Student Council position in third grade, a time when she didn't feel confident. She knew from a young age that she could help if just given the chance.

When she ran her first business, Patrice understood that she was a boss because she had employees, but she's since realized she's a leader in her business within the past few years.

She realized that if people trusted her, she couldn't be haphazard and must lead with intention.

Patrice reminds us that it's time for Spirit-led, faith-filled people to step up and lead. Christians are sprinkled everywhere to lead people everywhere, but we get timid about sharing our faith.

How Faith has Played a Role in Her Leadership

Faith has always been a part of who she is. She tells event planners and media schedulers who ask her to speak that spirituality is a part of her; it's a pillar in her life. She must talk about it.

She feels that her job is to plant seeds and to tell the truth about her story.

We don't lead people by beating people up, convincing them, or convicting them. We lead by example.

How Patrice Defines Leadership

Leadership, according to Patrice, is being the example of the path. Being a leader means that you are clear, authentic, Spirit-led, and can articulate the vision.

Patrice's Advice for Younger Leaders

Give yourself permission to be awesome, to be all God made you to be, and still be a hot mess.

Trusting God Through Transition

Since 2009, Patrice has called herself the Money Maven until other people believed that about her. She's appeared on Fox News, The Dr. Oz Show, and Steve Harvey. She realized that in order to rebuild wealth, you can't just focus on budgets and savings.

In 2017, the Holy Spirit said that she must tell the whole truth. Sometimes the Holy Spirit calls us to pivot or transition, and we may wonder why He wants to interrupt our current success.

God called Patrice to transition her business from focusing on money to focusing on the idea of "redefining wealth".

Redefining your wealth is so much more than just money and material possessions. The true definition of wealth (from the Bible) is well-being.

Patrice built Redefining Wealth on six pillars:

1. FIT, meaning your physical health
2. PEOPLE, which includes your relationships and connections
3. SPACE, honoring the time you have
4. FAITH, meaning your relationship with God
5. WORK, involves living out your gifts and talents
6. MONEY, which is your financial situation

Patrice shares some examples of how God has taught her lessons in the various pillars of Redefining Wealth. She has seen how valuable relationships are, for example, and has learned the value of simply treating people well.

How Patrice Developed Redefining Wealth

The Holy Spirit drove her message. He asked her to get out of her comfort zone, but getting out of the box is frightening.

But Patrice obeyed and looked at her life and the patterns and practices that had helped her achieve success. She wrote out 200 ideas that later became podcast episodes. Then she moved those ideas into categories.

She saved the money and faith pillars toward the end intentionally because she wants her audience to do the work and not just wait on God without taking responsibility for their lives.

What Happens When You Need to Pivot

Patrice had a previous business, Real Money Answers, when the Holy Spirit prompted her to start her current business, Redefining Wealth. She used her existing platform to pivot.

As she transitioned from Real Money Answers to Redefining Wealth, she took down all her old products so she had no income. She used her savings to finance her new venture.

During her launch time, lots of previous venues turned her down. She had a strong conviction and stuck with it. Her time of transition and pivoting forced her to re-evaluate who she was as a businesswoman and to become independent of what other people think. Patrice reminds us to not give up just because other people don't understand.

Our job is to relentlessly communicate the message we've been given.

Building Confidence in Your Calling

A lot of us struggle to build confidence or discover our gifts and calling because we're in comparison mode.

Negative words or experiences about our natural giftings come easily. For example, Patrice's gift is speaking, but she got in trouble in school for talking too much. It only makes sense that your gifts will be attacked by your enemy who is trying to steal your gift.

Therapy, personal development, and studying God's Word will help you discover your God-given gifts.

How to Develop Confidence

Before Patrice speaks, she still gets nervous and feels like a wreck. One trick she has learned is to make a joke early on. The smiles put her at ease. She's always looking for ways to break the ice.

Therapy has also helped her. She grew up believing she was ugly because people told her she was, but that's not a story she has to own.

Patrice notes that a big part of building confidence is simply in the doing--you have to practice using whatever gifts you've been given.

Confidence, for Patrice, comes from knowing she's genuine. She knows that this is the story God gave her and her responsibility is to share it. Her story is not about her.

Tools Patrice Used to Help Her Understand Her Wiring

Patrice is a self-proclaimed "assessment junkie." She loves Gretchen Rubin's "Four Tendencies." She's a questioner, and knowing this about her made so many things make sense. It gave a name to her way of being.

Leaders Are Learners:

Patrice loves Atomic Habits by James Clear*

Other Episodes Mentioned:

Episode 31: The Key to Accomplishing Your Goals

Episode 33: My Favorite Tools for Goal Setting, Planning, and Creating Habits

Connect with Patrice Washington:

• Website
• Instagram
• YouTube
• Podcast

Patrice Washington is an award-winning author, transformational speaker, hope-restoring coach, and media personality.

Patrice got her start as your favorite personal finance expert, "America's Money Maven," having tremendous success with her "mindset approach" to personal finance. She has since expanded her brand and mission, encouraging women to chase purpose, not money.

Patrice is committed to redefining the term "wealth," using its original meaning, "well-being." She encourages women to have "wealth" in all aspects of their lives by pursuing their purpose, being fulfilled, and earning more without ever chasing money. Through her teachings, Patrice empowers women to look at life through the lens of abundance and opportunity, instead of lack and scarcity.

As the founder of Redefining Wealth and The Earn More Money Movement for Women, Patrice has built a thriving community of high-achieving women committed to creating a powerful life vision--in their careers, home, health, and personal finances.

Key Quotes from the Episode:

• "It's one thing to boss people around. It's another thing to enroll people in a vision."
• "People are following you whether you want them to or not."
• "Learning how to share your faith without condemning other people is what truly allows people to get the message."
• "The best example I have is to share my story, share my wins with that lens of 'But God…'."
• "It's not budgets; it's behavior."
• "It's not my job to try to force or manipulate or make things happen. Just treat people well."
• "You can quit a job. You can't quit a calling."
• "Greatness requires you to expect resistance."
• "Confidence is built in the doing."

*Affiliate link.

For the full show notes for this episode, visit estherlittlefield.com/episode51.

Episode Sponsor: Confident Leader Club

The Confident Leader Club is a resource designed for Christian women who want to receive additional community, growth, and action. Each month, members of the club receive a practical training developed by me (or other amazing women) that will help you grow in your faith, leadership, or relationships. We also have a monthly Take Action call where you can focus on one project or goal during the time allotted. Plus, we also have a book club and other fun things going on! Join us here or get on the waitlist.

Connect with Esther and Holly:

• Esther's Website
• Holly's Website
• Instagram
• Facebook Group
• Facebook Page

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode51.

What do we mean when we say "personal and relational wellness," and why are they important for you as a leader? And how can you develop habits and routines that will help you stay healthy personally and in your relationships?

We continue in our Wellness Series with this conversation about both personal and relational wellness. If you missed part 1, be sure to go back and listen to Episode 48.

Staying Healthy as a Leader: Personal Wellness

What do we mean by personal wellness?

• Our minds, our intellect
• Our emotions
• Our mental health

If I'm feeling overwhelmed, it's often because I'm not taking good care of my personal wellness. Neglecting our personal wellness can lead to stress, anxiety, depression and other mental health concerns.

It's important for you to know where your baseline is and be aware of this, especially when it comes to mental health so that you know when you may need additional support.

How we can take care of our personal wellness as leaders:

• Doing things that help you to de-stress on a regular basis.
• Managing our emotions.
• Self-awareness--recognizing your own baseline for emotional and mental health. It takes a lot of self-awareness to figure out what things actually rejuvenate you and what things don't.
• Regular rhythms of rest; having a Sabbath and times when you do not have work or a to-do list. Episode 260 of the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast with Ruth Haley Barton addresses the issue of busyness and the need for rest as leaders.
• Taking our thoughts captive.
• Reaching out for additional support from professionals.

Holly and I both share some examples of how we stay healthy personally.

Staying Healthy as a Leader: Relational Wellness

Relational wellness means the health of your most important relationships. In Episode 15 - we talked about Healthy Relationships 101, and we really dove deep into our framework for how we see this topic. The health of our leadership is directly impacted by the health of our relationships.

How we can take care of our relational wellness as leaders:

• Invest in your most important relationships; make space for these people.
• Creating rhythms and routines for your closest people.
• Develop friendships and mutually support one another.
• Grow in relational skills and/or address specific concerns (communication/conflict, mentoring, step-parenting). See the list of episodes below for episodes that address these areas.
• Don't live in unforgiveness. It is not easy to forgive, but it important to work towards that in all relationships.

We discuss some of the habits and routines we have created to keep our relationships healthy.

Conclusion:

As a reminder, all 4 areas of wellness are interconnected. We need to be intentional about our personal and relational wellness because things naturally deteriorate rather than improve. And finally, don't try to focus on changing everything at once.

Want some help figuring out how you are doing with your wellness? We have a quiz for you!

Go to estherlittlefield.com/wellness to take the quiz!

Other Episodes Mentioned:

• Episode 5: Designing a Life You Love with Lilah Higgins
• Episode 15: Healthy Relationships 101 for Leaders
• Episode 16: Healthy Communication for Leaders with Carrie Sharpe
• Episode 19: The Value of Mentoring with Elisa Pulliam
• Episode 21: How To Develop Healthy Relationships with your Children and Stepchildren with Gayla Grace
• Episode 22: What To Do When Relationships are Hard
• Episode 33: My Favorite Tools for Goal Setting, Planning and Creating Habits

Key Quotes from the Episode:

• A routine is really important even if you don't really love it.
• Living in unforgiveness in one relationship affects all of the others.

For the full show notes for this episode, visit estherlittlefield.com/episode50.

Episode Sponsor: Confident Leader Club

If you are looking for a way to connect with like-minded women who understand how lonely leadership can be, to grow and broaden your skills as a leader, and to have some accountability to take action on your big goals, I want to invite you to join the Confident Leader Club. The doors open a few times per year, and you can get on the waitlist (or join if we are open) at confidentleaderclub.com. You don't have to lead alone, and the Confident Leader Club will provide you with the community you've been looking for.

Connect with Esther and Holly:

• Esther's Website
• Holly's Website
• Instagram
• Facebook Group
• Facebook Page

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode50.

What is the #1 way you can reduce stress in your leadership life right now? What's important to remember about how you're wired as you fulfill basic life responsibilities? What set of habits are critical to you as you lead and live?

Author, entrepreneur, and international speaker Marnie Swedberg and I talk about living out your faith when it's hard, the one key to leadership, and four habits that will make you a more effective leader. If you wonder how doing basic and unseen tasks like changing diapers or filing reports has eternal significance, this is a must-listen episode for you.

Marnie's Leadership Journey

Currently, Marnie leads womenspeakers.com, an organization she founded that matches Christian speakers with event planners. She also founded and directs Bible Expo, an event that showcases authors of Bible studies. And on top of all that, she continues to speak at international events.

How Marnie Got Started in Leadership

Marnie started helping in a four-year-old Sunday school class when she was 11. However, her first leadership position came when she was 17 when she managed an entire health club.

She felt her role there was to cheerlead her team. Now her cheerleading has evolved into mentorship. She enjoys coming alongside different types of leaders to encourage, help, and provide the next step through coaching and counseling.

Life Events that Contributed to Marnie Growing in Leadership

Three major life events happened when she was four years old:

1. She fell off the outside of an escalator as she climbing it externally and was caught by a vendor below.
2. The neighbor's dog knocked her over and knocked her out.
3. A storm split a tree in her yard in half.

Because of these events, she realized she needed Jesus.

Professional and personal coaches have also equipped her throughout her adult life.

Marnie's Mentors

Each year, Marnie selects one person that she'll learn from. Last year, she selected Brene Brown. When you select a mentor, it doesn't need to be someone you personally know, but someone you can learn from through books, blogs, and podcasts.

How Marnie has Grown in Her Faith Through Speaking Internationally

Traveling to developing and impoverished nations is scary for Marnie. Through 2009, she said no to international travel. Then God gave her a vision of a global map then gave her the opportunity to visit Peru.

Leadership Lessons Marnie's Learned

Practice humility. Elisabeth Elliot defined humility as flexibility. Marnie wants Jesus to be the distinguishing factor in her life. Remember that we are not irreplaceable.

Marnie's Advice for Younger Leaders

Remember that we are all a project and God is so patient to free the beauty He planted inside us. Flow God's patience and grace to those you lead.

How Marnie Discovered Her Wiring

Marnie started kindergarten at age 4 so she didn't feel ready. In fact, she already felt behind so school was a real challenge. She didn't learn to read until she was an adult.

After she graduated from high school, she could just relax and read because the pressure was off and nothing depended on reading so she started to love it.

She struggled with why God put her through those treacherous school years so she asked Him. He told her she hadn't started school when she did, she never would have met her husband. She also struggled with staying at home with her children after so much success in the workplace, and she wondered why she wrote worship songs that no one else could hear.

She wrote the book Flow Through Vessel to share that anything God flows through you has an eternal reward.

Dealing with Stress as a Leader

For Marnie, the key to how to deal with stress as a leader revolved around understanding how to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17). We are earth-dwellers and prayer-breathers. You can turn every emotion into a conscious awareness to talk with God.

The #1 stress reliever is to remember that any emotion is a cue to talk to God.

How to Create Healthy Habits

Be kind to yourself and remember that you've practiced saying, "No, I'll do it my way" about a million times since you were a toddler. Focus on making smaller habit changes instead of trying to revamp an entire area of your life. As you practice breaking bad habits, you get stronger at habit-breaking so you can break more habits faster.

Marnie's Habits

1. As she goes to bed, she asks God, "How was it with us today?"
2. Before she gets out of bed, she prays the Lord's prayer in a personalized way.
3. After she gets up, she prays for countries and through the promises of God.
4. As she showers, she puts on the armor of God.

Leaders Are Learners:

Marnie is learning the power of prayer and recommends the life-changing book Enjoying the Presence of God by Jan Johnson.

Key Quotes from the Episode:

• "Everybody's leading somebody."
• "... taking the time to invest in yourself ... is so worth it."
• "God likes to take us to the deep waters where we're going to drown if we aren't looking into His eyes."
• "God created you just like you are for His glory, His honor, and His purpose."
• "You're the only person in the entire universe who can worship God the way you can."
• "If I'm going at anything without getting God's input, I'm being proud."
• "If that's where God has you, be there with your whole heart."
• "When you work on the spiritual habits, everything changes."

Episode Sponsor: Audible

Today's show is brought to you by Audible. Audible is offering our listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. Just go to estherlittlefield.com/audible and browse the unmatched selection of audio programs – download a title free and start listening.

How your free trial works:

• Choose a free audiobook and set up a trial 30-day membership!
• After 30 days, get one audiobook a month for $14.95/month
• Receive 30% off the price of additional audiobook purchases
• Cancel at any time. The books are yours to keep, even if you cancel

Go to estherlittlefield.com/audible to start your free trial.

Connect with Esther and Holly:

• Esther's Website
• Holly's Website
• Instagram
• Facebook Group
• Facebook Page

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode49.

Why do Christian women leaders need to practice wellness? And what exactly is wellness anyway? How can you practice wellness spiritual and physical in your already busy life?

Holly and I unpack the big topic of wellness: what it is, the four main components of it, how Jesus practiced it, and what it can look like in your everyday life. There is lots of grace in this episode to not feel pressured to practice all four parts of wellness "perfectly," especially as each of us is in a different season of life.

If you're ready for the Biblical view of self-care and how you can make small (but significant) tweaks in your life, listen in!

What is wellness?

According to dictionary.com, wellness is "the quality or state of being healthy in body and mind, especially as the result of deliberate effort."

Wellness is the umbrella that encompasses your overall health and means you are intentionally investing in yourself so that you can stay healthy. We're talking about a lifestyle, not a magic formula or rigid routine you must follow. Some people call wellness "self-care," which is taking care of yourself so you can function and give your best to God and others.

Wellness comprises four main areas:

1. Physical Wellness
2. Spiritual Wellness
3. Personal Wellness
4. Relational Wellness

Today we will dive deep into physical and spiritual wellness, and then next time we'll go into personal and relational.

Why does wellness matter?

Wellness is extremely important for you to practice as a Christian woman leader because when you practice wellness you:

• set an example for those who you lead.
• positively impact your ministry, team, and business.
• avoid burnout.

Holly and I are not mental health professionals, but we do know that there are things we can and should do as leaders to stay healthy for the long-term.

How did Jesus practice wellness?

Jesus is our example in everything, including self-care. Jesus ministered for three years, meaning that He didn't push before His time to get out and lead. He obeyed when His Father told Him it was time to lead. Jesus also rested and didn't minister 24/7. Jesus fasted, prayed, and ate with people.

Staying Healthy As a Leader: Spiritual Wellness

Spiritual wellness is foundational to every other type of wellness. For this podcast, Holly and I define spiritual wellness as growth, nurturing your soul, and taking care of your spirit.

How to Practice Spiritual Wellness

• Connect with God daily through prayer and reading your Bible.
• • You need to know the truth so you have strength and discernment as you live and lead.
  • When spiritual warfare happens, you will have the armor of God so you can fight battles.
• Attend a local church.
• • Through church, you'll have community with other believers.
  • You'll also benefit the body of Christ by using your spiritual gifts to help others.
• Participate in a small group.
• • Small groups provide a safe space to wrestle with issues.
  • You'll also find wise people there!
• Be aware of who and what you let into your heart, mind, and ears.
• • Pay attention to what you consume, e.g. social media, TV, podcasts, books.
  • Be aware of the spiritual health of those with whom you have close relationships.
  • Have mentors and mentees. Disciple others and be discipled.
• Serve!
• • An intense way to serve is through mission trips.
• Confess and be accountable to others.
• • By having accountability partners, you avoid staying in your own head and justifying sin.

Holly and I share what spiritual wellness looks like in our lives right now and some of our regular habits and practices.

Staying Healthy as a Leader: Physical Wellness

For this conversation, Holly and I define physical wellness as taking care of your body through good stewardship. Physical wellness is not about having the perfect body, eating only organic foods, never getting sick, or living 100 years. We are to honor our physical bodies, which are temples.

How to Practice Physical Wellness

• Move your body.
• Think about how (and what) you eat so that you incorporate variety and moderation.
• Incorporate habits that help your body.
• Remember that results may be years away.
• Get sleep and take time to rest.
• Listen to what your body is telling you and call the doctor!

Holly and I discuss what physical wellness looks like in our lives right now and some of our regular habits and practices.

Conclusion:

Remember that while we break down the four components of wellness, all four are interconnected. All types of wellness come down to being intentional. And of course, don't tackle all four areas of wellness at once.

Comment below because we'd love to know what one area of wellness you'll focus on this month. Let us know!

Other Episodes Mentioned:

Episode 31: The Key To Accomplishing Your Goals

Episode 36: Ditching Balance for Surrender

Episode 45: Developing Confidence in Your Gifts & Managing Multiple Roles with Breshana Miller

Key Quotes from the Episode:

• Wellness is about a lifestyle and not just some magic formula or rigid routine.
• Moderation is key when it comes to maintaining your physical wellness.
• In order for us to have a long-term ministry and a healthy life … we actually have to be intentional about how we're living every single day. - Esther Littlefield
• Being able to serve others ... has been a big catalyst in my spiritual journey. - Holly Cain

For the full show notes for this episode, visit estherlittlefield.com/episode48.

Episode Sponsor:

Today's show is brought to you by Audible. Audible is offering our listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. Just go to estherlittlefield.com/audible and browse the unmatched selection of audio programs – download a title free and start listening.

How your free trial works:

• Choose a free audiobook and set up a trial 30-day membership!
• After 30 days, get one audiobook a month for $14.95/month
• Receive 30% off the price of additional audiobook purchases
• Cancel at any time. The books are yours to keep, even if you cancel

Go to estherlittlefield.com/audible to start your free trial.

Connect with Esther and Holly:

• Esther's Website
• Holly's Website
• Instagram
• Facebook Group
• Facebook Page

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode48.

Have you ever felt trapped in shame and bondage due to your past? How do you move from that place to freedom and embracing your identity in Christ? And how can you begin discovering and pursuing the dreams God has placed in you?

In this episode, I talk with Merritt Onsa, wife, mom, and podcaster about her experience of coming to Christ as an adult and the process of healing from shame about her past and experiencing freedom in Christ.

We also discuss how to determine whether an idea is your dream or God's dream for you, what to do if you're afraid to start your dream, and how comparison impacts your dream. This is a conversation full of truth, hope, and encouragement.

Merritt's Leadership Journey:

Merritt was shy as a child, but she was drawn to leadership roles. However, she had the feeling that in order to have a voice someone had to choose her, e.g. through an election or chosen by a teacher. She has often felt weak and unqualified.

After working in the dot-com world, Merritt started working on her own as a freelance writer. She also had a marriage-readiness blog for single women who were older. In 2016, she was a podcast guest and her friends encouraged her to start her own. She realized that through her work as a freelance writer, she had interviewed people for 12 years. It seemed like podcast interviews would be a fit.

She asked God what He wanted her to do because she knew she had a gift for communication and a heart for women. As she struggled with her next step, she realized that she must not be the only one who struggled with knowing her purpose. She launched her Devoted Dreamers podcast in 2016.

How Faith Plays a Role in Merritt's Story

Merritt came to know Christ at the age of 30. She grew up with parents, who, as children, were inundated with religion. She didn't go to church regularly partly because the church didn't inspire her to learn more about God.

As a teenager, she ran far from God. She obsessed with boys, dating, relationships, parties, drinking, and promiscuity. She searched for her value in others. This destructive pattern continued into her adult life.

In her late 20s, a family member died and she started wondering about God. At the same time, Merritt got a job in Dallas where her colleagues knew Christ. She came to know Jesus through a church website.

What Helped Merritt Move from Shame to Freedom

After coming into a relationship with Christ, it took Merritt about five years to recover from all the damage she'd done to herself and her heart. God began to give her opportunities to share her story with her church, and she started seeing how her story was impacting other women.

Merritt participated in Celebrate Recovery and is a supporter of 12-step programs. She found that doing a fearless moral inventory helped her. This inventory caused her to look at her entire life, including people, incidents, and whatever triggered emotions. Then she had to share her story with another. Finally, she repented.

Now she does a daily moral inventory by asking God, "Is there a place I need to confess? Attitudes? Actions?" Then she owns it and moves on.

Embracing Your Wiring & Identity

It's been important to Merritt to know that God made her the way He did, on purpose, and that her wiring is not flawed. The resources that have been most helpful for her have been the Strengths Finder and the Enneagram.

Merritt also believes that the high-ropes courses she did when she was younger helped her grow.

How She Learned to Embrace Her Identity

Only recently has Merritt learned to embrace her identity. At a previous church, she felt that life was all about what she could do and be, e.g. "be more patient," but that isn't what Jesus says. Check out her own podcast episode on this topic.

Merritt believes that if we are going to dream God-shaped dreams, we first have to know who we are. If we don't believe who we are, we are going to flounder.

Ask God to teach and show you the next step. Merritt notes that if anything good is going to come of her life, it's going to have to be because God did it with her.

She's still in process, but her identity is growing--the identity that says she is God's special girl.

How to Start Dreaming Big

If you're unsure of your dream:

• Think about who your dream serves. Who is your neighbor that your dream will serve?
• Ask what actions cause you to lean into God because you know you can't do them on your own.
• Trust your Father, which means spending time in God's Word. How can you be in God's Word today?
• If a dream keeping burning inside you, keep turning it back to God.
• Take baby steps.
• Remember there is no finish line.

Know that sometimes you need to struggle and fail as a reminder that you need God. God will show you what He's asking you to do, and it's going to be good!

Merritt's Dream

Merritt has a longing to see God's women set free from the bondage of fear, shame, and comparison so that their lives sing God's praises and they can pursue their dreams. She learned that this was her dream after taking a leadership course with her pastor and wrestling with what her dream was.

How Comparison Affects Women + Their Dreams

Merritt started listening to extremely professional podcasts like Serial. Then, she started to listen to Jamie Ivey and started comparing herself to Jamie so she had to stop listening.

She found that she -- and so many women -- were looking at each other and asking, "Could I?" and "Should I?" Remember to go back and ask, "Who did God make me to be?"

Comparison is common and worth fighting against.

If You Don't Know Your Dream

If you don't know your dream, God loves you so dearly. You are not forgotten or left off the list. If you long to have a dream, tell Him, believe He'll answer, and wait.

Connect with Merritt:

• Website
• Podcast
• Facebook Group
• Instagram

Merritt Onsa longs to see the love of Jesus set women free from the bondage of fear, shame and comparison so that their lives will sing His praises and their dreams will come alive. As host of The Devoted Dreamers Podcast, she interviews Christian women about their God-shaped dreams. These conversations include real-talk about the fears and challenges we all feel when we do courageous things outside of our comfort zone. This is the place that fuels Merritt's fire. Hearing these stories reminds us that fear is normal—we all feel it—and yet it doesn't have to halt our flourishing or the pursuit of our dreams. In fact, it is often the thing that draws us closer to the Lord.

Merritt and her home-brewing, community-building husband, Todd, live with their two young daughters near Colorado's Rocky Mountains.

Key Quotes from the Episode:

• "God, you are so big that You took my shame and you turned it into freedom for others."
• "The practice of confession, repentance, and forgiveness is huge."
• "The dream is not as quite important as what God will do with you in the dream."
• "God lets us dream in the places that He's worked in us in the deepest ways."
• "Comparison is not healthy and it is not of God."
• "There is enough room in God's kingdom for all of us pursuing the dreams He's given us."

Other Ways to Connect with Esther & Holly and the Christian Woman Leadership Podcast:

• Esther's Instagram
• Holly's Instagram
• Holly's Website
• Facebook Page

Episode Sponsor: Audible

Today's show is brought to you by Audible. Audible is offering our listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. Just go to estherlittlefield.com/audible and browse the unmatched selection of audio programs – download a title free and start listening.

How your free trial works:

• Choose a free audiobook and set up a trial 30-day membership!
• After 30 days, get one audiobook a month for $14.95/month
• Receive 30% off the price of additional audiobook purchases
• Cancel at any time. The books are yours to keep, even if you cancel

Go to estherlittlefield.com/audible to start your free trial.

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode47. To join the Purposeful Leadership Facebook Group, go to estherlittlefield.com/group.

What does staying relevant in ministry look like? And is it something we should strive for as Christians? Are we at risk for compromising the gospel when trying to be relevant to our culture?

In this episode, Holly and I dive into the issue of staying relevant in ministry. We explore the tension between relevant and traditional, what "relevant" actually means, how we can stay relevant, and what the Bible has to say about the topic.

Finally, we discuss some of the implications for us as leaders if we want to remain relevant, as well as some questions to ask yourself to determine if your ministry is relevant.

Relevant vs. Traditional (a.k.a. "old school"):

The word "relevant" tends to be a hot button issue.

Some people think it means trendy, compromising the Gospel message, and wearing skinny jeans. Some assume that if your church or ministry wants to be relevant, then it automatically means you are focused only on non-believers, on being "seeker-friendly" and on attracting large numbers.

If we think of it this way, it's easy to throw it out and say that it's not a valid approach.

Then we have another camp that we might call traditional or "old school". At a glance, some people might think of "old school" as people who just want to stick to their traditions, keep church the same size, and only preach the Bible verse by verse.

Again, it might be easy to throw out this approach if you take it at face value.

But we need to dig a little deeper.

What are some of the positives and negatives of the "old school" churches or Christians?

Pros:

• They are purists and help us stay true to God's word, his message, and keep us seeking his face.
• Usually very focused on "community feel" in their church.
• Appreciate the rich heritage of Christianity and what's been done in the past.

Cons:

• When people think how "we used to do it" is actually the most truly divine and inspired way.
• When we cling to things that are preference and not truly biblically we become out of touch to the general population around us.
• Focusing on the "good old days" rather than adapting and asking "how can we reach the younger generations?".

What are some of the positives of the "trendy" churches or Christians?

• Very focused on reaching their communities.
• Want to stay current with what is most effective,
• Seem to be in touch with the younger generations.
• Outside of the box - changing up the way ministry is done.
• Fun environment, more energy.

We get into some of the risks of relevant or "trendy" churches later, but first, let's look at what relevance actually means.

How to Stay Relevant in Ministry:

Definition of relevant:

"closely connected or appropriate to what is being done or considered; appropriate to the current time, period, or circumstances; of contemporary interest."

In light of this definition, we do think that we should be relevant in our ministry. But we can do so without compromising the message or watering down the Gospel.

We can also still appreciate and incorporate some of the positives of the traditional approaches.

How do we remain relevant in our ministry?

• Consider the demographics and culture of your area and ask yourself if you are relevant to them. This will look different based on where God has called you.
• Learn about the culture you are trying to reach.
• Adapt your style and approach to the culture where you are serving.
• "Learn your people" as Breshana Miller shared in Episode 45.

What does the Bible say about relevance?

Matthew 7:28-29 says:

"And it came to pass, when Jesus had ended these sayings, the people were astonished at His doctrine: For He taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes" (KJV).

Jesus adapted his teaching style to the audience he was speaking to. He used parables often. He adjusted the approach based on the setting and the audience. It's clear that Jesus made his message relevant to those he was speaking to.

1 Cor. 9:19-23 says:

"For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them. To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law. To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some.I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings." (ESV)

Paul also shows us that it is necessary to adjust your methods based on the people you are reaching. We note that one key factor here is becoming a servant rather than focusing on your own preferences.

Is there a risk in trying to be too relevant or even trendy?

• Compromising the gospel or watering down the message.
• Focusing only on getting people in the door and not on helping people to experience the transformation Jesus offers.
• Becoming a message of "self-help" or inspiration instead of truly acknowledging our sin and our need for Jesus.
• Becoming a social club rather than a church or ministry where the power of the Holy Spirit is experienced.
• No authenticity.

What does relevance mean for us as leaders?

Staying relevant in ministry has implications for us as leaders. Here are some of the ways it will affect us:

• We need to be willing to adapt and change
• May have to give up personal preferences
• Might need to learn new technology or tools
• Need to stay tuned into the current struggles of our audience
• Need to embrace the power of the internet and social media
• We will have to get out of our comfort zone
• We may need to go be in places we might not normally be present

If you want to evaluate how relevant your ministry is, you can ask yourself these questions:

• How does the community you are in view your church/ministry?
• Do people come to you in their time of need/crisis?
• Is your ministry in a rut? Are you doing the same thing over and over but not getting the results you are shooting for?
• Does your church/ministry lift up the community or just satisfy the needs of those inside?
• If your church closed, would your city be grieved? Would it even notice?
• Are our lives and our ministries vibrant, exciting, energetic?
• Does society need us? Why? Are we considered necessary, or just nice to have around?

We cover a lot of ground in this discussion and we encourage you to wrestle with this issue to decide where you stand. We do feel there are positives on both sides--traditional and "trendy"--but we feel it is important to stay relevant if you want your ministry to stay alive.

We believe that you will need to give up some of your own preferences at times, and be willing to adjust your methods based on the place God has called you.

May 2019 Giveaway:

We are running a giveaway for all 4 episodes in May 2019. Each Tuesday, we will draw 1 winner from the previous week's episode. Entries count from Tuesday through Monday of each week.

How to enter: 1. Write a review for the podcast - take a screenshot of your review and email it to [email protected]. Alternatively, you may also write a review on my Facebook Page about the podcast. 2. Share about the podcast on your social media - Instagram or FB. Tag either my Facebook page (@estherlittlefield) or Instagram account (@estherdlittlefield) and make sure post is public so we can see it. 3. Tag a friend on any of my posts on my Facebook Page or Instagram account about the episode of the week and encourage that friend to take a listen

Each of these things will get you an entry into the drawing for the week, and you'll also be added to a grand prize drawing, which we will draw by June 7th

Giveaway Prizes:

Weekly: 1 Book (US entries only); drawn on May 14, 21, 28, and June 4th.

Grand prize: Exact items in grand prize to be announced soon!

Other Episodes Mentioned:

Episode 45: Developing Confidence in Your Gifts & Managing Multiple Roles with Breshana Miller

Stay Connected:

Subscribe on your favorite podcast app. Click here to find all the options where you can find the podcast.

Key Quotes from the Episode:

• "Don't let your message become only inspirational instead of transformational."
• "Relevance for the sake of relevance is not the point; relevance for the sake of people is the point." -Holly Cain
• "The message stays the same but the methods can change".

Episode Sponsor:

Today's show is brought to you by Audible. Audible is offering our listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. Just go to estherlittlefield.com/audibleand browse the unmatched selection of audio programs – download a title free and start listening.

How your free trial works:

• Choose a free audiobook and set up a trial 30-day membership!
• After 30 days, get one audiobook a month for $14.95/month
• Receive 30% off the price of additional audiobook purchases
• Cancel at any time. The books are yours to keep, even if you cancel

Go to estherlittlefield.com/audible to start your free trial.

Connect with Esther and Holly:

• Esther's Website
• Holly's Website
• Instagram
• Facebook Group
• Facebook Page

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode46.

What do you do when you're unsure of your God-given gifts? How do you figure out your purpose? And what questions should you ask when you're feeling overwhelmed by everything on your plate?

In this episode, Holly and I talk with Breshana Miller, wife, mom, business owner, entrepreneur, pastor's wife, and Bible college student about how to have clarity about your calling, how to stop comparing yourself to others, and what time management is really about. Breshana has some "drop the mic" moments of wisdom that you do not want to miss.

Breshana's Leadership Journey:

Breshana currently shares leadership duties with her pastor-husband, leads her family of three kids, nurtures and teaches those at their church, and she leads herself. Oh, and she has a corporate career too!

Breshana was given a leadership role during her time in the military when her chief promoted her to the team lead of her unit. She found this challenging because she'd never led in that way before and she was leading her peers. It all unfolded well, but she put a lot of pressure on herself because she didn't want to make mistakes or fail.

Leadership Lessons Breshana Learned in the Military

1. As a leader, you have to be selfless. Leadership isn't about you. Always look out for those to your right and left.
2. Care about the people you work with. Take the time to understand them before judging. The more you know about your people, the better you can lead.

How Breshana Transitioned from the Military to Ministry

For Breshana, the transition was radical because of the mindset shift. There are no options in the military; you do what you're assigned. In ministry, people will tell you "no" or ask for time to pray and consider. She had to switch her communication style, learn patience, and develop a new level of compassion.

How Breshana and Her Husband Work Together in Ministry

There are lots of expectations of being a pastor's wife. She had to learn to have God's help to get out from under the weight of people's expectations that she looks perfect and hosts perfect parties. She doesn't allow herself to get trapped by people's expectations because then she's not operating in her gifts or God's grace. When you try to please people you live with a level of insecurity and anxiety.

She's allowing God to lead her and she's putting the weight of expectations on Him.

How Breshana Transitioned from Ministry to Business

God called her into entrepreneurship when she was in high school and sold Avon. As an adult, she wanted to take her entrepreneurial spirit outside the church so she could impact more women in a flexible way. That's when she began her business as a coach.

Breshana's Mentors

She has mentors and guides in her life and mentorship is an evolving process. In college, she had a professor who encouraged her to teach, but Breshana resisted. In the military, she was put in charge of training sessions by her superior officer. But in ministry, she felt unsure of what she should do.

As she heard God calling her to teach, she remembered these previous moments when others had tasked her with teaching. Through them, God affirmed her call to teach.

Breshana's Advice for Younger Leaders:

1. Don't lead alone.
2. Be teachable.
3. Be willing to go against the grain. Be okay with the fact that not everyone will always agree with your decision. And don't concede to other's decisions because you want to be liked.
4. Be transparent when you make a mistake.

Developing Confidence in Your Gifts For The Woman Who is Unsure of Her Gifts

In her business, Breshana helps women to step into their giftings and purpose. She starts by having lots of conversations. For some women, God wakes them up to their own purpose. For other women, God uses other people to speak into their lives.

Your desire and your gifts must come together to understand what God called you and purposed you to do.

Ask yourself:

1. What desire do I have?
2. What distinct and natural abilities do I have?

The answers to those two questions will help you know what business to pursue.

She wants every woman to have clarity about who they are and what they desire. Then she can bring that plan to life with a vision, plan, and strategy. Every woman can have certainty in knowing what God has created her to do.

When you operate out of your gifts and desires, you don't have to compare. Don't allow the canvas of others to determine your masterpiece. You are God's masterpiece and His vessel to bring His good works to earth.

How to Develop Confidence with Your Gifts

For Breshana, it took a while. For a while, she was very self-conscious. She felt frustrated with what to do so she asked God why. She realized that she was the source of her own frustration and she needed to step outside of herself. God made her the way He did for a reason. She also realized that:

1. She can't help everybody
2. There are specific people God ordained for her to work with.

Breshana realized that God gave her her voice, gifts, and temperament to help certain women who would need her to be who she is.

You are where you need to be and you have everything you need to do what God's asked you to do.

Growth comes from taking one step. God honors that one step because that's faith in action. We must believe and then receive what God says about us. Allow the truth to take root and grow.

Stumbling Blocks Women Face as They Accept Their Gifts

Breshana says that women tend to believe that no one will value their gifts, and they perceive this before they've even taken one step. Women are considered with whether they'll be valued and accepted. They also think through all the "What if" scenarios.

How Breshana Manages Her Time

Breshana wears a lot of hats and has great advice for how women can make room in their schedules for what God has called them to do.

Here's what Breshana does to make her multi-passionate life happen:

1. Makes sure here children are clear on the family calendar.
2. Wakes up early.
3. Has a housekeeper on an as-needed basis. Other times the entire family chips in to keep the house clean.
4. Asks for help.
5. Doesn't have a "get-it-all-done" attitude.

Breshana's Perspective on Time Management

Breshana believes that handling your schedule and completing tasks isn't really about time management, it's about work management, self-leadership, and surrender. God will make room in your schedule for everything He's asked you to do.

"We say we don't have time, but sometimes it's because we're not saying 'yes' to the right things."

As women, we say "no" to others and "yes" to ourselves, but what are we saying to God?

God will work out your schedule so it doesn't include anxiety and stress. When you do feel stressed asked why you're stress and what that you haven't yielded yourself to yet? Stress doesn't come from God. Look to the Bible on how to manage your time. What does God say?

Breshana's book recommendation:

• What Do You Think of Me? And Why Do I Care?* by Edward T. Welch
• Stop Playing Safe* by Maggie Warrell

Connect with Breshana:

• Website
• Facebook
• Facebook Group
• Instagram

Breshana Miller is a Business Empowerment Coach and Mentor for high-achieving service-based entrepreneurs and professionals. She helps women discover their purpose and leverage their unique gifts, strengths, and expertise so that they can monetize their brilliance doing what they know, love, and can get paid for.

She is also the Leading Lady of Remnant Fellowship Worship Center and serves as alongside her husband in ministry. She is a US Army Veteran and is also pursuing her doctorate in Biblical Counseling and certification in Gallup Strengths-based coaching.

Stay Connected:

Subscribe on your favorite podcast app. Click here to find all the options where you can find the podcast.

Join our Purposeful Leadership Facebook group! In the Facebook group, we can chat about what you need as a leader, what your challenges are, as well as celebrate the wins. This is a great community to learn and grow together. We want to get to know YOU.

Other Ways to Connect with Esther & Holly and the Christian Woman Leadership Podcast:

• Esther's Instagram
• Holly's Instagram
• Podcast Instagram
• Facebook Page

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Key Quotes from the Episode:

• "One of the highest forms of leadership is self-leadership."
• "We can't please people nor should we try."
• "Don't depend on people to be the gauge as to how well you're performing."
• "Leadership is learning people."
• "As long as you are standing in your gift, then there is no failure, and you don't have to compare."
• "Don't allow other people's canvas to determine what your masterpiece is."
• "It's not gonna be perfect because we are a work in progress."
• "When you give God the 'yes,' He'll work it all out."
• "It's not will of God for our life to be a stressed-out leader."

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This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode45. To join the Purposeful Leadership Facebook Group, go to estherlittlefield.com/group.