Christian Woman Leadership Podcast with Esther Littlefield & Holly Cain

What is the one thing you should do before the new year begins? And how will this one thing help you as you move into the new year? We believe the first essential step to setting goals is reflecting on the past year.

It's easy to skip over this especially if you are future oriented and love getting started on new goals and ideas. But taking time to reflect is foundational to the goal setting process. It's important to know where you've been before you can know where you're going.

Reflecting will also:

• Help you see how you've goal set in the past and how it's worked for you (or not).
• Look at how life circumstances affected your goals.
• Helps you to plan for goals you can attain.
• Gives you confidence in your future goals.
• Help you to be smart moving forward.
• Put you in the right mindset.

You can start your reflection time by considering whether you had a word for the year. If you did, think about how that word impacted you and whether it helped you stay focused through the year.

After thinking about your word for the year, you can answer the following questions. Holly and I each chat about our answers to these questions.

Reflection Questions to Ask:

• Holly started a business!
• I was able to hit my revenue goal for my business.
• I also transitioned my website and started the podcast with Holly!

• Holly was surprised that she was able to start the podcast with me. This was not something she had as a goal at the start of the year.
• I had 3 speaking engagements during the year.

• I wanted to declutter my house, but it didn't happen.
• I had a goal to create more household and family routines, but this didn't go as well as I had hoped.
• Holly had planned to get done her job sooner than she was able to.
• Holly shares that she was frustrated that she did not keep up with her weight loss progress in 2018.

It's important to evaluate the goals that you did not reach and assess why.

Assess the emotional gravity of the goals you are picking as well as what your capacity is for achieving those goals.

• Holly is excited to see what happens with the podcast in the next year.
• Holly is looking forward to growing her business in 2019.
• I'm excited to be more focused, especially in my business.
• I am also looking forward to making more time for fun.

Key Quotes from episode:

• God has bigger plans, and sometimes God throws something into your life that you never expected or anticipated.
• It's important to reflect on why you didn't accomplish your goals, but also not to dwell on those failures.

For the full show notes for this episode, visit estherlittlefield.com/episode24.

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Audible is offering our listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. Just go to estherlittlefield.com/audible and browse the unmatched selection of audio programs – download a title free and start listening.

Connect with Esther and the Christian Woman Leadership Podcast:

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This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode24. To join the Purposeful Leadership Facebook Group, go to estherlittlefield.com/group.

How do you find your voice and tell your story as a leader? How do your faith and personality intersect so that you can become the leader God created you to be? Today's podcast dives into how we can embrace how God wired us with the story He's woven into us to share.

In this episode, Holly and I talk with Abbey Jo Bailey about the importance of listening, understanding your personality, and taking risks. Abbey is a wife, mom of two small children, and the director of communications at her church.

If you've ever experienced an abrupt career change, shifted how you've viewed leadership, or wondered how to embrace your identity in Christ, this interview is for you.

Abbey believes that there is power in storytelling and using story to lead people toward Christ. Abbey is leading her church and team through a storytelling process.

We discuss how Abbey has taken on the communications role at her church, and how she has experienced different seasons in her life and leadership.

Here are her best practices for telling your story:

1. Know where you want people to go. You need to be aware of where you'd like to take people in the journey.
2. Read "Story Brand" by Donald Miller. As this book indicates, the hero is never you in the story; you are simply the guide in the story.
3. Submit the outcome to God.

"Every person involved in ministry should read Storybrand." - Esther

Grab Storybrand on Amazon (affiliate link)

Abbey shares how submitting the outcome of her work to God has helped her to stay focused on people rather than the process being her primary focus. We chat about how this requires surrender and acknowledging that we are not in control of how things turn out.

• Instagram
• Join the Purposeful Leadership FB Group where Abbey is a member

Starting out as Bossy Big Sister, turned driven student and success-seeking professional, Abbey's leadership path has been ever-changing. It was a steady rise up the corporate ladder until an abrupt change of plans led to a season of redefinition. As she became a wife and mother her professional motivations began to change and with that, her view of leadership.

In her current role as Communications Director, Abbey collaborates with ministry leaders to tell the story of their Church and to encourage the Church to care about the stories of people who may be disconnected from or not yet know God.

She is a self-described social media scroller, aspiring yogi or runner depending on the day, fueled by coffee and Jesus, and repeatedly saved by grace. Outside of work Abbey is spending time with her family, including her four year old "dinosaur trainer" son, nine month old blue-eyed beauty, and her 30-something fitness-focused husband.

Episode Sponsor: Audible

Today's show is brought to you by Audible. Audible is offering our listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. Just go to estherlittlefield.com/audible and browse the unmatched selection of audio programs – download a title free and start listening. It's that easy. Go to estherlittlefield.com/audible to take advantage of your free trial membership and audiobook.

Connect with Esther and the Christian Woman Leadership Podcast:

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This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode23.

How do you cope as a leader when relationships are hard? How can you respond when you've been hurt, or when you disagree with those in leadership? What do you do when you are struggling in your marriage?

We've been going through a series about Healthy Relationships, and the goal has been to help support you in your leadership to be able to develop and nurture healthy interactions with those around you.

But we also know this: sometimes, relationships are just plain hard. There isn't always an easy answer, and sometimes you can be doing all the right things, but nothing seems to change.

In this episode, we address 3 of those situations and offer some encouragement for you if you are dealing with a hard relationship. We're going to discuss what to do when you've been hurt, when marriage is hard, and when you disagree with leadership over you.

• Determine whether you need to address the person who hurt you. Refer to Episode 16 with Carrie Sharpe. She gave us 6 tips on how to deal with conflict.
• Give yourself time to process & heal.
• Writing. I've found writing to be extremely helpful during times when I've been hurt. Check out Episode 21 where Gayla Grace shared about how she's used writing in her life.
• Self-Awareness. We learned a lot about self-awareness in Episode 17 with Beth McCord. One of the ways self-awareness can be helpful when you are in a situation where you've been hurt is to reflect on how you react to that hurt.
• Turn to God through prayer and scripture.

We talked about marriage with our husbands in Episode 18, and we shared some of our stories and experiences as couples who lead together. But we didn't share a lot about what to do when marriage is hard. Here's a few brief ideas for you when marriage is hard.

• Take care of yourself.
• • Physical wellness - Keep your body healthy, especially when you are under stress. This might include exercising, eating healthy, and morning and nightly routines.
  • Spiritual health - Stay connected to God through your spiritual disciplines and stay involved in a church community and small group, if possible.
  • Mental & emotional health - Find things that you enjoy and fill you up. Also, seek additional professional support such as therapy if needed.
  • Relational wellness - Maintain relationships outside of your marriage such as friendships and extended family. Find other people who will encourage you and support your marriage. It's important to know who is safe and have appropriate boundaries when it comes to sharing about your marriage challenges. This could be a friend, accountability partner, or mentor.
• Control your attitude and your mindset. This is super hard, but it can be done with God's help.
• • Look for little ways to appreciate your spouse.
  • Our thoughts precede our emotions and our actions, so can you reframe your thoughts to find something positive to think about your husband?
  • If you can't find something positive currently, think back to a time when your relationship was healthy and remember something positive from that experience.

• Understand that you may not have the whole picture. This means that your leaders may have information that you do not have. Trust them enough to handle the information and make decisions based off of that.
• Speak love over your leaders. Make sure that you don't tear down your team members or your leaders.

• "There is no human relationship that can fully fulfill you."
• "It's important that we hold other leaders up and encourage them, even when we disagree with them."

For the full show notes for this episode, visit estherlittlefield.com/episode22.

Connect with Esther and the Christian Woman Leadership Podcast:

• Website
• Instagram
• Facebook Group
• Facebook Page

Episode Sponsor: Morningstar Media Services

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode22. To join the Purposeful Leadership Facebook Group, go to estherlittlefield.com/group.

How can you develop healthy relationships with your kids or stepkids? What are specific challenges for stepmoms? And how in the world can you practically develop relationships with your children?

Whether you're a mom to your own children, stepchildren, or both, this is a can't-miss episode as we learn healthy ways to connect with our kids and how to navigate technology as a family.

In this episode of the Healthy Relationships series, I chat with Gayla Grace, director and cofounder of Sisterhood of Stepmoms and author of the book "Stepparenting With Grace."

We unpack common mistakes stepmoms make, strategies you can implement today to help connect with your children, and the importance of failure.

For the full show notes for this episode, visit estherlittlefield.com/episode21.

Here are practical strategies you can implement today to nurture connection with your children:

1. Remember that your kids may be wired differently than you.
2. Parent each child according to their personality type and needs.
3. Stay on top of technology.

1. Understand the role that grief plays.
2. • Every step-family comes become of a loss.
   • As the adult, you may view this as a second chance, but your children view it through the lens of loss.
   • Look behind the tantrums and other behaviors to talk about their feelings and the root of the issues.
   • Offer grace.
3. Discipline comes in after relationship.

Quotes from episode:

• "Rules without relationship lead to rebellion."
• "Don't be paralyzed by perfection."
• "Nothing can serve us better as a leader than to walk in humility."

• If you're a stepmom in need of encouragement, tips, and tools, make sure to connect with Sisterhood of Stepmoms.
• Website
• Facebook
• Twitter

Connect with Esther and the Christian Woman Leadership Podcast:

• Website
• Instagram
• Facebook Group
• Facebook Page

Episode Sponsor: Morningstar Media Services

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode21. To join the Purposeful Leadership Facebook Group, go to estherlittlefield.com/group.

You know that you should have boundaries, but why are they so critical, and how do you go about setting them? And what do boundaries have to do with healthy relationships and effective leadership?

In this episode of the Healthy Relationships series, I share why boundaries are critical to effective leadership. I also discuss what boundaries look like in real life, and how to practically set boundaries. If you've struggled with setting boundaries in the past OR if you feel like defining boundaries seems restrictive, you won't want to miss today's episode.

For the full show notes for this episode, visit estherlittlefield.com/episode20

There are three reasons we need boundaries:

1. Boundaries sustain us. They keep us from burnout.
2. Boundaries protect our relationships. Without boundaries we do things without a thought about how they impact those around us.
3. Boundaries bring freedom. When you take into account your personality, preferences, and what you want your life to look like, it creates freedom to do what is most important to you.

• Start with your priorities. What is the most important to you? For me, it's my family, faith, and work. Take time to think through and use the PowerSheets* tool for extra help.
• Look at your calendar. Does it reflect your top priorities?
• Turn off the notifications on your phone. Want 23 ways to create boundaries? Start here.

Essentialism by Greg Mckeown

• Episode 18: Navigating Marriage and Leadership
• Episode 5: Designing a Life You Love with Lilah Higgins
• Episode 19: The Value of Mentoring with Elisa Pulliam

Get the 23 Practical Ways to Set Boundaries here

Connect with Esther and the Christian Woman Leadership Podcast:

• Website
• Instagram
• Facebook Group
• Facebook Page

Episode Sponsor: Morningstar Media Services

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode20. To join the Purposeful Leadership Facebook Group, go to estherlittlefield.com/group.

Mentoring has to be formal and structured right? Shouldn't mentoring include lots of time and coffee dates? Not at all. You may be surprised what our guest today says about what mentoring can look like and the ridiculously easy ways you can fit mentoring into your right-now life.

In this episode of the Healthy Relationships series, I chat with Elisa Pulliam, founder of More to Be, all about the value of mentoring. She shares her insights about mentoring: how to find a mentor, how to be a mentor, how to navigate generational differences, and how to experience mentorship when you lead a busy life.

For the full show notes for this episode, visit estherlittlefield.com/episode19

• Look at the place where God has already called you.
• Ask God to make you sensitive to who you can mentor and who can mentor you.
• Lead with questions
• Ask for permission to share a story
• Ask if they would like to hear your input or advice
• Share a struggle.
• Ask older women for advice.

Forgotten God* by Francis Chan

Explaining LGBTQ+ Identity to Your Child: Biblical Guidance and Wisdom

Helping Students with Same Sex Attraction: Guidance for Parents and Youth Leaders

• Meet the New You*
• Unblinded Faith*
• Impact Mentoring for Women's Ministry
• Episode 15: Healthy Relationships 101 for Leaders

*Affiliate links

• More to Be Website
• Instagram
• Pinterest
• $10 off Impact Mentoring Course

Connect with Esther and the Christian Woman Leadership Podcast:

• Website
• Instagram
• Facebook Group
• Facebook Page

Episode Sponsor: Morningstar Media Services

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode19. To join the Purposeful Leadership Facebook Group, go to estherlittlefield.com/group.

What does marriage have to do with leadership? How do we develop a nurture a healthy marriage as we develop into effective leaders? And how does our leadership impact our marriage?

In the fourth episode in the Healthy Relationships series, Holly and I chat with our husbands, Zack and Scott, about how to develop and nurture a healthy marriage even when you're wired very differently.

Holly and her husband Zack, a methodology and process manager, have been married for 14 years and have one son, Eli. Scott, the executive pastor of our church, and I have been married for 16 years and have one daughter, Kirsten.

For the full show notes for this episode, visit estherlittlefield.com/episode18.

These are insights the four of us have gleaned on how to develop and maintain a solid relationship with your spouse:

• It's important to support your husband in his leadership roles by being encouraging, believing in your spouse, and listening.
• Make sure that you dream together. When your spouse shares a dream on his heart be a soft place to land by holding their dreams as gently as you would his wounds.
• Learn to encourage your spouse and talk them through any discouragement he's feeling.

Here are several best practices to nurture your relationship when you're wired differently than your spouse:

• Learn how your spouse is wired with tools like the Enneagram.
• Your marriage may look differently than those of your friends or parents and that's okay.
• See you and your spouse as a team.
• Care less about traditional roles and more about what works for you and your season in life.
• Assess where your marriage is and make adjustments as necessary by perhaps adjusting roles and responsibilities.
• Keep working at it until you find what works well for you, your spouse, and your family.

How do you champion your marriage while not neglecting your God-given leadership potential?

• Pray. Pray for your husband.
• Remember that your validation doesn't come from your husband but from God alone.
• Create your village of people who can speak into your heart and mind when your spouse can't or won't.
• Build him up and support him. This may decrease the fear he's feeling about how you're growing in leadership.

Connect with Esther and the Christian Woman Leadership Podcast:

• Website
• Instagram
• Facebook Group
• Facebook Page

Episode Sponsor: Morningstar Media Services

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode18. To join the Purposeful Leadership Facebook Group, go to estherlittlefield.com/group.

What impact does your personality have on your leadership? How can learning about your inner motivations impact your outward leadership? And what does knowing your Enneagram type have to do with creating and sustaining healthy relationships?

In the third episode in the Healthy Relationships series, I chat with Beth McCord, founder of Your Enneagram Coach. Beth is a wife, mom of two college-aged children, and leader of her own business. She gives us a brief overview of the Enneagram, a quick description of each of its nine types, and insight into how knowing about our personality and those of others impacts how we lead and relate to to those around us.

For the full show notes for this episode, visit estherlittlefield.com/episode17.

Key Points:

Beth likes to think of the Enneagram with its nine personality types as our internal GPS. This tool helps you know why you think, feel, and behave in particular ways. The Enneagram cares not so much about what you do, but why you do it.

The 9 Types are:

TYPE 1 - The Moral Perfectionist

• What you fear: Being wrong, bad, inappropriate or irredeemable
• What you desire: Integrity, balance, being right + the "good girl"

TYPE 2 - The Supportive Advisor

• What you fear: Being worthless, rejected, needy, inconsequential, dispensable, and being unworthy of love
• What you desire: Appreciation, affirmation, love, and being wanted

TYPE 3 - The Successful Achiever

• What you fear: Failing, inefficiency, being incompetent, worthless, exposed, or unable to succeed
• What you desire: Admiration, respect, and being highly regarded

TYPE 4 - The Romantic Individualist

• What you fear: Inadequacy, being plain or emotionally cut off, not having unique significance
• What you desire: Uniqueness, feeling special and like your most authentic self

TYPE 5 - The Investigative Thinker

• What you fear: Annihilation, being ignored, intruded upon, depleted or found incapable
• What you desire: Capability, competence, and feeling like you know enough

TYPE 6 - The Loyal Guardian

• What you fear: Being without support, guidance, security or being physically abandoned
• What you desire: Security, guidance, and support

TYPE 7 - The Entertaining Optimist

• What you fear: Feeling bored, deprived, trapped in emotional pain, being limited or missing out on fun
• What you desire: Happiness, success, and contentment

TYPE 8 - The Protective Challenger

• What you fear: Weakness, powerlessness, being harmed, controlled or manipulated
• What you desire: Protection

TYPE 9 - The Peaceful Mediator

• What you fear: Conflict, being unloved, shut out or overlooked
• What you desire: Inner stability and peace of mind

The Enneagram is not the transformation; it is just a tool to illuminate what is happening. Christ and the gospel is going to bring us the transformation.

The Enneagram can be useful to grow personally, but also in our marriage, parenting, and team relationships.

• Episode 8: The Key to Becoming a Better Leader
• From Fear to Freedom: Living as Sons and Daughters of God* by Rose Marie Miller
• A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23* by Phillip Keller
• Anything by Michael Hyatt (books, blog, podcast)

*Affiliate links.

• Website
• Instagram
• Free download of the 9 Types
• Online courses of Discovering You and Exploring You

Connect with Esther and the Christian Woman Leadership Podcast:

• Website
• Instagram
• Facebook Group
• Facebook Page

Episode Sponsor: Morningstar Media Services

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode17. To join the Purposeful Leadership Facebook Group, go to estherlittlefield.com/group.

As a leader, you communicate constantly. But are you communicating in the most effective way? What are some best practices for communicating when there's conflict? What are some practical strategies you can implement today to better your public speaking?

Today's guest, Carrie Sharpe, shares her best principles on communicating as a leader. We dive into the topics of effective communication, including the best way to talk through conflict and practices to become a better public speaker.

Carrie shares how she manages her different responsibilities + roles, and how she takes a rest from all the noise and busyness.

For the full show notes, visit estherlittlefield.com/episode16.

Key Points:

• Carrie reminds us that in life there will always be conflict and well that there's a way to manage it without burning bridges.
• She gives six best practices to communicate in conflict effectively and shares her principles for public speaking.

Quotes from the episode:

• You can't stay bossy and be a good leader.
• God gives us experiences and gives us skills in order to share those things with other people. You cannot do that on your couch.

Other episodes and links mentioned:

• Carey Nieuwhof's Podcast
• Personality Plus

• Carrie's website: He Says, She Says
• Facebook group: Communicate to Connect Facebook Group
• Facebook page
• FREE AUDIO: 3 Tried & True Ways to Connect with an Audience

Connect with Esther and the Christian Woman Leadership Podcast:

• Website
• Instagram
• Facebook Group
• Facebook Page

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode16. To join the Purposeful Leadership Facebook Group, go to estherlittlefield.com/group.

Healthy relationships are crucial to leadership, but which ones are the most foundational? And is there a framework to make sure these critical relationships start and stay healthy? Holly and I dive into a topic that's critical to leadership and to our own well-being.

As we kick off our Relationship Series, Holly and I discuss an overview of healthy relationships for leaders. We introduce our relationship framework and share what we feel are the most important relationships in a leader's life.

In addition, we share some key relationships principles that have helped us build healthy relationships.

For the full show notes, visit estherlittlefield.com/episode15

Key Points:

• Our Relationship Framework
• Relationship with God
• Relationship with Yourself
• Relationship with Others
• Healthy Relationship Principles & Tools

Quotes from the episode:

"To be a good leader, it is crucial to build healthy relationships."

"A healthy view of who you are in Christ is really important to having good relationships with other people."

"As leaders, vulnerability is important because it allows people to see that you're a real person."

Other episodes and links mentioned:

• 5 Love Languages Book* / 5 Love Languages Quiz
• Episode 6: The Importance of Leading with Confidence
• Episode 8: The Key to Becoming a Better Leader
• Episode 7: Receiving Grace & Speaking Truth with Jill McCormick
• Episode 14: The Gift of Being Quiet with Rachael Gilbert

Connect with Esther and the Christian Woman Leadership Podcast:

• Website
• Instagram
• Facebook Group
• Facebook Page

This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode15. To join the Purposeful Leadership Facebook Group, go to estherlittlefield.com/group.

*Affiliate link. This means if you choose to make a purchase via one of the links, we will receive a commission at no extra cost to you. This helps to support the costs of running the podcast.