Quarantining from my wife for more than 18 days, I learned a lot about myself.

On a day with too much -- a near accident, an ear infection, my inability to keep up with household chores, I hit a threshold and broke down.

Falling apart I was able to lead myself back to self-compassion.

Because it is a practice, I could remember to shine the cleansing light of kindness on myself and remember that tomorrow is a new day and I can begin again then.

I'm Annette Leonard, speaker, coach, and sick person who believes that my illnesses do not define me. If health is the absence of disease and wellness is the presence of wholeness, then no matter what your disease status, we can work toward your wellness, your wholeness.

Whether or not you are ever "healthy" on paper, you can be well. Join me and others on the path back to wholeness at AnnetteLeonard.com. Whether you are a person experiencing chronic illness or are someone who loves or serves people with chronic illness I have great resources here on this channel or on my website for you.

Is agency the antidote to hopelessness?

What, with chronic illness leads you to feel hopeless?

How can agency interrupt that feeling?

Here are some of the ways agency intersects with my experience of chronic illness.

What does agency have to do with the loss of the future I imagined or dreamed for myself?

One of my sacred texts is Pema Chodron's "When Things Fall Apart," she says to "abandon all hope" and cultivate a present-moment focus. I do this by choosing fear or love, in choosing to feed my better nature.

Can agency give you traction today?

I'm Annette Leonard, speaker, coach, and sick person who believes that my illnesses do not define me. If health is the absence of disease and wellness is the presence of wholeness, then no matter what your disease status, we can work toward your wellness, your wholeness.

Whether or not you are ever "healthy" on paper, you can be well. Join me and others on the path back to wholeness at AnnetteLeonard.com. Whether you are a person experiencing chronic illness or are someone who loves or serves people with chronic illness I have great resources here on this channel or on my website for you.

If hope is a double edged sword, what are we left with? Hopelessness?

Here's another suggestion: agency.

When I have self-determination, I am not hopeless.

Chronic illness takes so much of what we thought life would look like.

Agency gives me some say over my choices -- even the little ones. And having this say makes a big difference.

Is this true for you?

I'm Annette Leonard, speaker, coach, and sick person who believes that my illnesses do not define me. If health is the absence of disease and wellness is the presence of wholeness, then no matter what your disease status, we can work toward your wellness, your wholeness.

Whether or not you are ever "healthy" on paper, you can be well. Join me and others on the path back to wholeness at AnnetteLeonard.com. Whether you are a person experiencing chronic illness or are someone who loves or serves people with chronic illness I have great resources here on this channel or on my website for you.

How can we preserve our well being while alone during the holidays?

What habits or traditions do you need to preserve? What are the fixtures in your life that you need to maintain?

Creativity is crucial. What are your creative outlets? Are there new pursuits you've been wanting to try?

Think ahead about what feeds you and lights you up. Make a list of the things you'd like to do when you're feeling like numbing out.

Finally, and most importantly, reach out. Connection is key.

I'm Annette Leonard, speaker, coach, and sick person who believes that my illnesses do not define me. If health is the absence of disease and wellness is the presence of wholeness, then no matter what your disease status, we can work toward your wellness, your wholeness.

Whether or not you are ever "healthy" on paper, you can be well. Join me and others on the path back to wholeness at AnnetteLeonard.com. Whether you are a person experiencing chronic illness or are someone who loves or serves people with chronic illness I have great resources here on this channel or on my website for you.

What does it take to be alone at the holidays?

What do you need to be emotionally safe at the holidays?

Who can I check in with or can check in with me?

How do you think ahead about physical safety?

What things in your environment are hard to navigate?

Planning ahead can make the difference between successfully and safely handling the time alone or not. Will you be alone at the holidays? What supports do you have in place?

Listen to episodes 114-119 to learn about Surviving the Holidays with Others.

How much should I pay attention to my pain?

How do I live with chronic pain?

How does turning pain out get me into trouble? How does it serve me? How do I discern?

Given that there aren't obvious answers, this is one I'm still working on. I journal daily about my migraines. I'm now rethinking my habits of pain tracking so I can better notice which pains I may need to bring to my doctors' attention.

How do you manage these skills?

Have you ever played double Dutch? How do you join that rhythm already in motion? Once I've lost momentum, how do I start again? We are all hurting right now. In times of duress it is easy to abandon the things that serve me. It's as easy as my next decision. One choice at a time. Each of these choices are a declaration that "I'm worth it." And so are you. What steps are you taking to assert your worth and jump in?

We all want control.

How does chronic illness impact that?

Loss of control is a hallmark of chronic illness.

What does my hair have to do with chronic illness and control?

When there is so little that I can control, when I am overwhelmed by so many things happening in my life and in the world around me. However, today: I have a clean junk drawer, and my hair is dyed.

In the midst of these bodies that allow us so little control.

Find something that makes you feel like you, or brings you joy and DO THAT.

I'm here. I've been laid low. This most recent health crisis left me raw. 2020 has been hard for so many of us. Even before the blood clots, I was telling you about what a train wreck my life was.

What does groundlessness feel like?

I have felt swallowed up by all that's been happening.

I'm unsure how to get back into the rhythm of Chronic Wellness.

Knowing that part of figuring that out is in the doing, I'll just begin.

These broadcasts will be less frequent, but for now I'll start broadcasting weekly.

Episode 286: Blood Clots by Annette Leonard