Clean Food, Dirty Stories

How I almost found myself possessed by the god of thunder, plus how to increase intuition and psychic sensitivity

Hi everybody, I'm Barbara Fernandez, the Rocking Raw Chef, here with my Clean Food, Dirty Stories: one to entertain, the other to inspire.

I help people stamp out stress, depression and fatigue over at RockingRawChef.com, and today's title is:

Playing With Spirits

In addition to this story, at the end of this episode I'll share with you some top tips to increase intuition.

OK enough hints from me, let's get on with the story.

A pretty crazy story

First let me say that when I say playing with spirits, I'm not talking about Ouija boards. And I don't mean playing with them as in being disrespectful. This story is all about their power, how they can help and how that relates - yes, surprise, surprise - to food.

Off to California

This story begins when I decided to go out to the San Francisco Bay area to live there for a while. I was in a bit of a mess, as I'd just gotten ejected out of a relationship in a very painful way. This included a cry-for-help-disguised-as-a-suicide-attempt and a hospital stay which I talk about in last week's episode.

So to say that I was a bit fragile would probably be an understatement. However I knew that I would meet some amazing people in the Bay area, and I couldn't wait to reconnect with one of my favorite people in the world. She's one of my dearest friends and has been since college, and she was like, "Come and stay! I'll help you settle in". Well, I couldn't resist that offer. Her name is Francesca and her story is incredible. In fact Francesca overcame depression as well, and we share her story in Episode 12, From Depression To Diva.

Anyway I got on a plane and went to Oakland California, where luckily my friend helped me land a job through a temp agency. I don't even remember what I did there, I think it was something in marketing and I know it involved a computer, but the rest of it is pretty much a blur. I do know that I made a big effort to dress really nicely every day. For some reason that's the one thing I remember. Superficial perhaps, but true - although I did get pleasure out of looking nice. Even though on the inside I was still a bit fragile.

A clothing-optional weekend, with Santeria

Fortunately...

The story I've never told about how I know you can recover from being suicidal and go on to live a happy life. Plus food tips to get you started to beat depression.

Hi everybody, I'm Barbara Fernandez, the Rocking Raw Chef, here with my Clean Food, Dirty Stories: one to entertain, the other to inspire.

I help people stamp out stress, depression and fatigue over at RockingRawChef.com, and today's title is:

From Suicidal To Sensational

In addition to this story, at the end of this episode I'll share with you the best ways to use food to beat depression and help get your emotional life back on track.

OK enough hints from me, let's get on with the story. It's a big one.

My inspiration for this story

A very short time ago - last week in fact - I learned that one of my favorite rock singers ever, Chester Bennington, committed suicide. And I was pretty shaken for days afterwards - not because I was close to him, because I wasn't. I never actually met him, although I was fortunate enough to see him live in concert about ten days before he died. Not because I didn't love his singing, because I did. But because I thought to myself, 'If Chester had known what I know, maybe he wouldn't have had to die'.

So Chester this episode is dedicated to you. As well as to anyone who is experiencing the kind of debilitating sadness that can end in a life ended way too soon.

So that's why I'm sharing with you a very personal story that I've never shared before. I want to tell you exactly why I can help people who feel they're broken. People who feel so unhappy, that suicide looks like the only way out. And I'm sharing this because if this even helps one person listening, then it will be worth it.

This story is about depression, and about how you can absolutely one hundred percent overcome it. How you can kick it to the curb so that it never darkens your door again. Yes you can beat depression and I will tell you how to start.

The first time I was depressed

The first time I was very depressed that I can remember, I was about eight years old. All I remember is that I was sitting on the bed in my parents' room, holding my dad's revolver on my lap and wondering if I could pull the trigger. I must have seen TV shows with people shooting each other or something. I mean I don't know how else I could have known at such a young age how to use a gun. My dad never showed us how to use it. And I don't even remember how I knew the gun was in there. He must have taken it out at one point, I don't know.

There's a lot from my childhood that I don't remember because although on the whole it was a happy childhood with travel and lots of animals and all kinds of very good things, parts of it were not so good. One event in particular when I was about three years old was blocked from my memory until many years later - but that's another story.

Anyway I was sitting with this gun on my lap and obviously I didn't pull the trigger. But I can remember that I wanted to. I really wanted to - but I thought I wasn't brave enough. It took me many years actually to realize that by deciding not to pull the trigger was the brave decision. It takes a lot more courage...

How Nikki Harman went on a journey from being homeless to practicing mindfulness. Plus the best food for mental clarity.

Hi everybody, I'm Barbara Fernandez, the Rocking Raw Chef, here with my Clean Food, Dirty Stories: one to entertain, the other to inspire.

I help people stamp out stress, depression and fatigue over at RockingRawChef.com, and today's title is:

From Homelessness To Mindfulness

In addition to this story, at the end of this episode I'll share with you the best food for mental clarity and focus. This food literally raises our brain function to its maximum and it's really easy to find.

OK enough hints from me, let's get on with the story.

I am super excited to be joined here today for our story by Nikki Harman, who has an amazing story to tell. Not only has she been through quite a lot in her life, but what she does now is super exciting as well. So I really can't wait to dive into it, and so let's do it!

Nikki welcome to the Clean Food, Dirty Stories podcast!

Nikki: Hello! Thank you for having me.

Me: You're very welcome!

Nikki's story

So you've got quite an incredible story and I'm actually quite honored that you're happy to share it with us and everything. I know that your story, I believe your story begins when your parents split up, is that right? And you were about eleven, is that right?

Nikki: Yes, so when I was eleven my parents split up. And at the time just before they split up I was living in a really lovely six-bedroom Victorian house in a nice seaside town. My parents had good jobs and all was going fairly well, but they split up. And because the house we were living in came with the job that my dad had, we lost the house.

Me: Oh!

Losing everything

Nikki: So we lost everything basically. My dad moved to London to go and find work, and my brother, myself and my mom moved into this temporary accommodation, a bed and breakfast.

Me: How old was your brother?

Nikki: My brother was eight.

Me: Sorry?

Nikki: I was eleven and he was seven. So it was from the age of eleven to twelve that we were in this temporary accommodation. For a year before we were rehomed into a council flat, so my brother was seven and eight.

Me: Wow yeah. What did your father do during this time? Did he just like go to London and not look back, or...?

Nikki: He came down when he could. Although he was working most of...

How Fiona Robertson travelled the world on a shoestring, discovering her life path as she went. Plus the best travel food ever!

Hi everybody, I'm Barbara Fernandez, the Rocking Raw Chef, here with my Clean Food, Dirty Stories: one to entertain, the other to inspire.

I help people stamp out stress, depression and fatigue over at RockingRawChef.com, and today's title is:

Adventure was my missing nutrient

In addition to this story, at the end of this episode I'll share with you the best travel food I know. It's not only packed with nutrients and easy to carry everywhere, but it's also the best food to help eliminate parasites from the body.

OK enough hints from me, let's get on with the story.

I am super excited to be joined here today for our story by Fiona Robertson, the Body Whisperer, who helps people understand who they want to be. Fiona has travelled all over the world and has some amazing adventures to share with us which I think you will find very inspirational.

So Fiona, welcome to the Clean Food, Dirty Stories podcast!

Fiona: Yeah, thank you very much for having me. Thanks for inviting me. Nice to meet you here finally, face to face.

Me: Yes, exactly! Cause we've known each other for a while, right? But it's been like an internet based...

Fiona: An internet-based friendship, yeah, I know (laughs).

Fiona's story

Me: Super! So I know that you've got, you've had quite a lot of adventures, but I think you mentioned that your taste for adventure perhaps came from your childhood. Is that right? You said you felt quite different as a child, can you maybe explain why?

Fiona: Yeah, 4 years old we went to South Africa to live as a family. We kind of grew up with no shoes. So basically just kind of playing with lizards and centipedes and understanding all about nature and just wanting to be outside climbing trees, being a tomboy.

A different way to grow up

It was just a different way for me to grow up. And when we moved back to the UK, I realized I was just different. I wanted to be outside playing in different ways and not playing giggly, schoolgirl games.

Me: So how old were you when you moved back to the UK?

Fiona: I was nine. Yeah, nine, nine and a half, something like that. Just kind of old enough, over the formative years, you know, that I'd really got a different country and kind of life under my skin. You know, I'd learnt Afrikans, I'd learned there was another language, I'd learnt there were different things going on. We were in South Africa at the time of apartheid as well, so you get a lot of different experiences, you know? We travelled there too on holiday of course.

You see, I didn't think it was different, but it is,...

Description: Heather Craik shares with us some pitfalls of dating as a single mom, with some pretty crazy results. Plus a food that fills you up from the inside out

Hi everybody, I'm Barbara Fernandez, the Rocking Raw Chef, here with my Clean Food, Dirty Stories: one to entertain, the other to inspire.

I help people stamp out stress, depression and fatigue over at RockingRawChef.com, and today's title is:

How Not To Date As A Single Mom (And Still Find Love Anyway)

In addition to this story, at the end of this episode I'll share with you the best food to feel full, in other words, to fill you up from the inside out.

OK enough hints from me, let's get on with the story.

Our guest, Heather Craik

I am super excited to be joined here today for our story by Heather Craik. Heather's going to share with us what it can be like to start out life as a single mom, explore dating on Tinder (which like I've never done) and have long distance relationships (which I haven't done either). So all that sounds super interesting to me! She now helps people solve a completely different kind of problem which we'll mention later.

For now though, Heather, welcome to the Clean Food, Dirty Stories podcast! I've been looking forward to having you ever since you told me about your incredible, roller-coaster story!

Heather: Hey, thanks for having me. Glad to be here.

Me: You're so welcome. So I think if I understood it correctly that your story starts where you were with somebody and you got pregnant? And then you wound up being a single mom? Can you talk about how that came about, maybe?

Heather's story

Heather: Yeah, sure. I mean I'd been with this guy for about nine years or so and that's an entirely different story in and of itself. But what happened was I was in Canada when I fell pregnant. And because I wasn't expecting to fall pregnant in Canada, I didn't actually have medical coverage for that. So I came back home to the UK which is where I'm from. And you know a couple of months after that I realized that it was really not working out with this other guy.

Me: The nine year guy.

Heather: So that was just a bit entertaining for a while. I broke it off with him and went through the...

My adventures of having a therapist and teacher who put us both into a bit of a situation. And the best food to soothe the gut and recharge your brain.

Hi everybody, I'm Barbara Fernandez, the Rocking Raw Chef, here with my Clean Food, Dirty Stories: one to entertain, the other to inspire.

I help people stamp out stress, depression and fatigue over at RockingRawChef.com, and today's title is:

The one thing your therapist should NEVER say to you

In addition to this story, at the end of this episode I'll share with you the best food to soothe the gut, recharge your brain AND bring you strength and connection to who you really are.

OK enough hints from me, let's get on with the story.

Right, so this story is a bit of a doozy and I've never shared it before except with a few close friends. So why not share it all over the internet, right? The reason I'm sharing this story though is because I feel it deals with a really important topic, and that is boundaries.

Let's talk boundaries

When I say boundaries, I don't mean fences or stone walls or anything like that. I'm talking about the boundaries that we all set that say to people, "You can come here but no closer". For those who don't know, boundaries are our (mostly unconscious) way of telling people what is and is not OK.

So for example your boundaries with your friends are probably very different to those with your coworkers. Friends can most likely get closer to you, not only emotionally and mentally, but physically as well. You probably wouldn't move away from a friend in an elevator if they were standing fairly close to you, whereas with a stranger, you would. Right? We talk about personal space and that's one kind of boundary.

Now why am I prefacing my story with talk about boundaries? Well, because this story is all about violating someone's boundaries - imposing upon them, in this case, mine - in a very intimate way...without even touching them. And this kind of behavior is just not OK, although it does make for an interesting story, as you'll see.

It started in a bookstore

This story takes place not in Paris as with some of my previous episodes, but in London, England. And it starts in a used bookstore.

My son was very small - he was about a year old - and he and I often found ourselves in used bookstores, whether we wanted to be there or not, because his dad loves books. He wanted to browse and scour all the shelves searching for whatever books caught his eye. While my son and I were waiting, I spotted a flyer on a bulletin board advertising training in a particular method of therapy that sounded really exciting. I won't say exactly what it was because this isn't about name calling and the story involves the founder of that method and, you know, I don't want to use real names because the purpose isn't to name and shame, it's just to tell a story.

I looked at the flyer and my intuition said, "You need to do this course. It's perfect for you". So I wrote down the phone number and the website address and looked it up at home. And sure enough, it looked fantastic. It was a full year of training in a small group to become a therapist using this method. I could even use my vocal skills, so I thought 'wow that really is perfect!'

Very exciting...a...

How Kate Fisher found herself at the brink of death, having to choose between this world and the next. Plus one of the best foods to feel grounded: for keeping a level head and making good decisions(!)

Hi everybody, I'm Barbara Fernandez, the Rocking Raw Chef, here with my Clean Food, Dirty Stories: one to entertain, the other to inspire.

I help people stamp out stress, depression and fatigue over at RockingRawChef.com, and today's title is:

This world...Or Another

In addition to this story, at the end of this episode I'll share with you one of the best foods to feel grounded - in other words, to help us stay clear-headed and even make better decisions in our lives.

OK enough hints from me, I'm sure you have no idea what that food is...or maybe you do, so let's get on with the story.

Our guest, Kate Fisher

I am super excited to be joined here today for our story by Kate Fisher. Kate is a shamanic practitioner who specialises in helping others to connect with the power that is already within them. She is also an artist, and she works with drums, paint and clay to create shamanic tools, paintings and ceramics. And she works with people not only face to face, but also at a distance which I think is very cool. She has a pretty incredible story to share which I think you're going to love!

So Kate, welcome to the Clean Food, Dirty Stories podcast!

Kate: Thanks Barbara.

Me: Yeah, it's great to have you. I'm looking forward to sharing your story.

Kate's story

So you work in Norfolk, you live in Kent, but do you have a lot of trees surrounding you now? Because I know that you spent a lot of your childhood in trees, is that what you told me? Is that where your story begins?

Kate: Yeah, it kind of is, I was much more into sitting in trees and hanging out there and not really with the other kids. It just felt calming and I later found out that what was actually happening was that I was speaking with the tree deities and the tree spirits themselves.

Me: So like when most kids had imaginary friends, like little playmates and stuff, then you just had your playmates that were like in the trees and nature spirits and everything.

That's really cool, when I was...

Corrina's journey from dating guys to finding a wife...thanks to travel sickness! And of course the best food to help with travel sickness (in case you've already found your partner...)

In addition to this story, at the end of this episode I'll share with you the best food for travel sickness (in case you've already found your wife or partner).

OK enough hints from me, let's get on with the story.

Our guest, Corrina Gordon-Barnes

I am super excited to be joined here today for our story by Corrina Gordon-Barnes. Corrina is a Relationship Coach who's committed to a world of happy couples and happy families. She teaches her clients how to be really good at relationships.

So Corrina, welcome to the Clean Food, Dirty Stories podcast! I'm really excited to have you here today!

Corrina: Thank you so much for inviting me to connect with you.

Me: Oh well you're so welcome! I love your story and I really can't wait for us to share it with everybody.

Corrina's story, starting with being boy mad

Me: Without further ado, the first question I wanted to ask you...and I've said a little bit about what you do now, but when you were small, or younger, how did you see your dream relationship one day? Did you have princess dreams or did you have a particular type of partner in mind before you actually met your life partner?

Corrina: Well, I was boy mad.

Me: Boy mad!

Corrina: Boy mad, like going through my primary school years, I remember that I was the one in my class who learned about sex really early.

I was the one who would get all these teenage magazines, even as a late primary school age kid, and I would be teaching my friends at school. "You can get pregnant the first time you have sex" and "be careful with your boyfriend".

Me: Oh my god!

A relationship expert...in primary school

Corrina: I was like this relationship expert, even at that age I was teaching my friends. Like "these are all the myths, don't do this, do this" and so I was kind of boy mad, I was relationship mad, and getting into my teens I remember with my friends we would literally kind of go out prowling the streets. We would walk along the high street in my town where I lived and we would be looking for boys and we would be kind of flirting and coy. There was always some boy that I had my eye on. Always some guy who had my attention, I would try and make sure I was in the same place as him so that he would see me...

Me: Sounds familiar, yeah.

So I was definitely, I definitely wanted boys. That was very clear to me.

Me: And you got engaged to a boy at one stage, right?

Corrina: Yeah, so I had one really long term relationship before I met who is now my partner, and we got engaged at age 17.

Me: Wow!

We were gonna get married and we were gonna have all these babies and we were gonna live in this particular kind of house and have this life... That was the path that I thought I was on at that age.

Me: So then what happened to take you off that path?

The path to self-discovery

Corrina: Well that relationship was not the right one, and so that ended 4 years later and I stayed then single for quite a while. You know, I was really wanting to find myself.

So I went on this whole spiritual, personal growth journey. I read every book I could get, I did meditation, I went vegan... It...

Sohini's discovery of a young boy and his amazing story, and how he inspired her to leave an upscale London legal firm to become a solicitor who helps change lives, one drop at a time. Plus one of the best foods to help fight overwhelm.

In addition to this story, at the end of this episode I'll share with you the best food to help fight overwhelm, because our guest today went through something that was pretty emotionally intense.

Our guest, Sohinipreet AlgWhich brings me to say that I am super excited to be joined here today for our story by Sohinipreet Alg. Sohini is a solicitor - a lawyer - who has an incredible story for us about how she left what could have been a very financially lucrative career to take a very different direction as a solicitor, all because of a young boy. She is compassionate, determined and very caring, as you will hear. 

So Sohini welcome to the Clean Food, Dirty Stories podcast! I'm really happy to have you here today!

Sohini: Thank you for having me Barbara, I'm excited to be here.

Sohini's storyMe: Super! So Sohini, why don't you start by telling us what kind of work you were doing before you met this young boy, when you first got started as a solicitor?

Sohini: OK well I think that was quite early on in my training contract, so I was doing various areas of law at that point. I hadn't finalized what I wanted to do, which area I wanted to go into. Immigration was actually not something that I wanted to go into, but as you'll see I kind of just fell into that.

My main area of interest was kind of a corporate, commercial area of law, so I was mainly concentrating on that.

Me: And is there any reason why you were concentrating on that to start with?

Sohini: You have to do a few seats in your training before you qualify. So they gave me a commercial seat, and an immigration seat, and also a housing and litigation seat.

Me: What's a seat? Is that just like a temporary post, or something?

Sohini: It's about 6 months, 6-8 months of training in each area over a period of two years, and then at the end of the training you kind of naturally go into one of those areas and specialize in that.

Going for the moneyMe: OK. So then your story I guess would begin... How did you find the corporate seat, first of all? Did you do that one first?

Sohini: I did, and I really enjoyed that. It was something that I thought I'd like to go into just purely because of the financial side of it I think. A lot of people obviously end up going into law or anything similar thinking "oh yeah, the money"! So I think I was probably quite similar in that way.

I didn't have a real interest in law in that sense, I did a History and Latin degree so completely different to law. But I didn't know what I would do with my history and Latin degree, so I thought 'the corporate and commercial side of it's gonna make a lot of money so let's try and do that!'

Very long hoursSo first I went into a firm which had quite a strong corporate field and that was the first seat that was given. And I enjoyed that, it was very cutthroat, very long hours.

Me: That's what I was going to ask, yeah, I mean, what was the atmosphere like? What kind of hours were you working?

Sohini: Well it would easily be...you'd start at eight o'clock and you'd be finishing at maybe ten or eleven o'clock at night.

Me: Wow! And was that normal even for people that were...once they'd finished their training?

Sohini: Absolutely, people would just continue into the early hours of the morning if necessary. So if you're working on a deal, if you're working for an organisation or a company, they expect you to be at their beck and call so you'd be available 24/7 really. 

Me:...

Jessica Louise Li shares how she went from being in an abusive marriage to creating a legacy with a new love of her life using what she calls the path of Sensational Sex.

And at the end of this episode I'll share with you a little food that I bet you don't know is a powerful libido booster - as well as another food that you definitely want to avoid, because it acts like a cold shower of toxicity!

Our guest, Jessica Louise LiI am very excited to be joined here today by Jessica Louise Li. Jessica is a former raw food chef who now teaches women how to use the power of sex energy to unleash self-expression in both the bedroom and in business. Now I don't know about you, but that alone would get me very excited. But she's got a lot more to share with us today, so let's get started!

Me: So Jess welcome to the Clean Food, Dirty Stories podcast! I'm super excited to have you here!

Jess: Yes, thank you for having me. I'm looking forward to those tips you have at the end.

Me: Yeah, let's see how that turns out! We'll see if you know them - including the toxic one.

I'm really glad we're able to do this because we've known each other for quite a while. 

So I already know your story, but I love it and I think it's quite a powerful one. You went from such a place of hardship to a place of lightness and joy. I think people will be very inspired to know how you went from one to the other, and what it was like for you.

I know that for a while you had a bit of a rough time because you were in a bit of an abusive relationship. Do you want to say a little bit about that? Because I think that's where your story starts, if I'm not mistaken?

Jess: Yeah definitely.

Jessica's storySo I was married for 10 years - I mean it was 14 years in the long run. But it was 10 years into the marriage where things started to accumulate more and more.

An abusive marriage from day 1It always...from day 1 it was mentally abusive, verbally abusive, emotionally abusive...There were 5 times when he put his hands on me and of course as we know, one time is more than enough.

It wasn't until almost 10 years into the marriage where he had actually tried to take my life.

My husband had actually tried to...