Close Quarter Dad

Are you having discussions with your children about the topic of violence and where violence is may happen in their life, how they're going to be able to manage it, what happens when they see it, how to make basic sense of it?

Well, in this episode, I will introduce you to a couple of tactics you can use to have those very important discussions with your children about violence.

Let's get started.

First, why is it that we don't have those discussions with our children about the topic of violence? Meanwhile, violence is all around them, whether it be in entertainment, in media, at school, in music…  they're constantly exposed to high, high levels of violence all around them.

How often do we have those discussions so they make sense of it and they're able to manage it inside their heads for the rest of their lives?

Let’s look back at when we were kids. When I was a young child, the actual discussion of emotional-based topics such as sexuality was just something completely taboo. It was barely discussed in schools. When it was, it was in specific 15 minute classes that were for some reason taught by our gym teacher. 

To watch the video or access the full transcript, go to: 

How to speak with your kids about violence

Let’s discuss an observation I've made over the last 20 years of teaching martial arts, engaging with parents and working with their children; the massive impact a dad has on their child when they actually participate in that activity.

It doesn't necessarily have to be martial arts. It can be any sports activity, artistic program or challenging interest your child has. But you can no longer stand on the sidelines, barking commands. I am challenging you to actually sharing the path they are on.

Whether it's at a coaching level, or it's actually participating in classes with your child, actually ‘doing the work’ makes an incredibly huge impact on how they view you.

RESOURCES

Check out the full article here: 

Why every parent should share a path with their kids 

To learn more about our online community of Dads, visit

Close Quarter Dad

Today I want to share with you an answer to a question I get asked a lot; can I recommend a book that would help immerse myself into the study of self-defense and personal protection?

Oftentimes I might get asked by a parent who doesn't want to get himself involved in martial arts. Whether they don't have the time or the interest, but they still want to be able to equip their self, armed with good information, so that they can pass that information onto their children.

They can help strengthen their children, give them a better understanding of personal protection and safety, as well as family protection.

One of the books that I couldn't recommend more, whether you're a martial artist or not, is the book by Rory Miller called Meditations on Violence.

This book, for me, it was life changing.

I've been doing martial arts almost all of my life. I've been teaching martial arts pretty much my entire adult life. I know it pretty well.

What I can tell you is that this book will shatter most misconceptions that you have about violence, about understanding fighting. A lot of times if you were to say,

"Oh, I want to take my kids to a martial arts school because I want them to learn how to stick up for him or herself, or I want to learn how to fight, I want to get some skills or that won't work in the street."

Or any of these different paradigms and ideas and concepts.

This book is going to super align them, to truly look into the mind and the actions of a predator, and anybody who is going to potentially target your child, why are they going to target your child. What is it that your child is doing to motivate them to target your child?

The author Rory Miller has not only been involved in teaching and training use of force programs to military law enforcement all over the world, but he was also in corrections for his career, and he has a lot of authority when it comes to speaking on this topic.

As well, he's a martial artist. He talks very clearly about his experience and thoughts on martial arts, so he is able to look at this with a very holistic perspective.

So once again, the book is Meditations on Violence, couldn't recommend it more.

If you're interested in the topic, the life cycle of violence, realities of violence, being able to go beyond a lot of popular myths and misunderstandings about violence... Then this is the book for you.

In fact, if you're a martial artist, I would say this is mandatory reading. It's mandatory reading for all my adult students. So Meditations on Violence by Rory Miller, a Comparison of Martial Arts Training and Real World Violence. Highly, highly recommended. 

Other works by Rory Miller that you'll enjoy include: 

Facing Violence, Preparing for the Unexpected

Training for Sudden Violence: 72 Practical Drills

Conflict Communication

And make them FAST instead

Let's have a discussion about something we say to our kids all the time.

I want to reframe this for you, help you to look at something that's so common that every parent, especially dads, say to their kids. Whether it's when they're learning to become better at sports, or whether it's something to do with academics - any life skill for that matter that we're trying to teach them, and it takes a certain amount of effort, and a certain amount of repetition for them to be able to capture what it is that they're trying to do, and to be able to develop that skill set, and to work themselves towards some degree of expertise or excellence at it.

It's most commonly used in sports, it's used in academics, used in all sorts of life skills.

I'll share with you the three reasons why you should not say this to your kids anymore then you'll be on a whole new path to helping your kids achieve success.

The saying is,

practice makes perfect.

How many times have you said that to your kids?

We say it all the time with the best of intentions, too, but one of the things that we have to understand is that practice simply does not make perfect.

You can be a little bit wrong, just a little bit wrong, and the only thing that doing something with 10,000 repetitions is going to do is it's going to help you to become really good at doing the technique wrong.

Practice doesn't make perfect because practicing one thing over and over again without the persistence towards perfection, focusing truly on the form, and mastering first the formula of what the expectation is ... In a personal protection context, it's going to be doing a technique right, really diving down and understanding why the technique works, how the technique is going to work, and then being able to discover the movement, or the principles, or the characteristic of the lesson within different contexts, many different variables, many different scenarios or situations.

Then, once you have mastery of the technique and you thoroughly understand it then it's through the persistence of training and doing the technique over and over again with many different variables.

Will you be able to develop the mastery?

Check out the complete episode here,

Stop telling your kids this one thing

at CloseQuarterDad.com

I am going to challenge you on making sure your children know 'how' to call 911 in case of an emergency - and I don't mean dialing the numbers.

Does your kid know your cell phone number or their home number by heart? Can they recall back to you their street address without thought?

Seems easy, but I challenge you to try right now. And don't forget, if they ever have to call 911, they will be under extreme stress and fear, making decision making and recalling memory extremely difficult. In this video, I will help equip you to teach your children this critical life saving skill.

In this second of two episodes, Avi Nardia (Major, IDF Res.) shares his deep insight to the flaws in martial art programs today for kids, and how parents can recognize a quality leader within schools. 

As well, Avi shares how he chooses to guide his own son, by taking him around the world while allowing him to find his own path. Some powerful messages here for us all.

Finally, Avi shares with us about the work he is currently doing in Africa, dedicating his time and resources to helping the children in one of Africa's largest slums study martial arts. 

Avi Nardia is not only one of my teachers, one of my inspirations in the world of martial arts, but someone I have the honor and privilege to also call him a friend.

I am really excited and I could not speak more highly of this man as a warrior but also as a fellow father. It is really exciting for me that is going to be the kick off podcast, the kick off episode for Close-Quarter Dad, and I would love and I am excited to introduce all of you to my friend Avi Nardia sensei.

About Avi Nardia

Avi Nardia is a world renowned martial artist. He has taught around the world for decades and travels to clubs throughout Europe, the Americas and Asia to teach his own self defense martial art KAPAP.

During his 24 years as a reserve officer, Avi Nardia (Major, IDF Res.) served as an official hand-to-hand instructor and safety officer

Resources

AviNardia.com

Why your kid may not have situational awareness, and how you can fix it

I want to have a discussion with you about situational awareness and be able to share with you some ideas and techniques that you can use with your children to help them to be able to identify potential risks, hazards, or threats, as well as obstacles and exits; should they need to be able to get themselves out of a dangerous situation quickly and effectively.

Situational awareness kind of seems like a tactical term, and I guess it is, but more than anything, it's just having a positive assessment of your environment in any condition.

Things that might be dangerous, things that might create a risk, possibly people that I know are going to challenge your child. They want to be able to identify that quickly remove their self or de escalate those situations in the best way possible.

It's really nothing more than coaching your children like you already do to look both ways before they cross the road, or, "Always be aware of your surroundings." And I can go on and on with examples.

Go to the full episode here: Close Quarter Dad

In this first of two episodes, Avi Nardia (Major, IDF Res.) shares with us the amazing history KAPAP/Krav-Maga formed in the early history of Israel. Reflections of his father and other military men from elite military units are shared, and his recollection of their teachings. 

As well, Avi dives into how Israeli martial arts and self defense truly came to the west and many of the misconceptions people have of it's past. 

Avi Nardia is not only one of my teachers, one of my inspirations in the world of martial arts, but someone I have the honor and privilege to also call him a friend.

I am really excited and I could not speak more highly of this man as a warrior but also as a fellow father. It is really exciting for me that is going to be the kick off podcast, the kick off episode for Close-Quarter Dad, and I would love and I am excited to introduce all of you to my friend Avi Nardia sensei.

About Avi Nardia

Avi Nardia is a world renowned martial artist. He has taught around the world for decades and travels to clubs throughout Europe, the Americas and Asia to teach his own self defense martial art KAPAP.

During his 24 years as a reserve officer, Avi Nardia (Major, IDF Res.) served as an official hand-to-hand instructor and safety officer

Resources

AviNardia.com

In this episode, we are joined by New York City Police Sergeant, Eric Carricato.