Closeness

Ever find yourself telling someone, “I don’t want to waste my time” on a date? Sure, it feels like you’re setting boundaries, but let’s be real—this harsh phrase can come off as dismissive and cold. What about the other person’s time? It implies that anyone who doesn’t instantly captivate you or fulfill your expectations is disposable. Instead of fostering connection, it shuts people down and leaves little room for genuine closeness.

And check this out: We often complain that others “waste our time,” yet we’re guilty of squandering it ourselves. How? By endlessly scrolling through social media, watching Netflix, hanging out, chilling etc. We squander time by holding on to toxic connections with others that  we know aren’t serving us. We continue physical relationships with people we don’t truly care about. Or worse, by we’ll string along—neither committing fully nor letting them go.

Sometimes we avoid ending a relationship because we think we’re being kind, sparing their feelings. But let’s face it—it’s usually about avoiding the discomfort of necessary action. True closeness and connection require courage: to communicate clearly, to make space for what we do want, and to honor others’ time just as much as our own.

If you want deeper relationships, start valuing people’s time—including yours. Communicate with honesty and compassion, and don’t settle for half-hearted connections.

Are you ready to come closer?

Visit closeness.com for in person coaching and more sexual guidance.

You can also subscribe to Closeness on YouTube

Rejection isn’t easy for anyone because it leaves most people feeling unworthy and hurt. Both men and women are generally terrible at receiving it and even worse at giving it. But rejection is a necessary step towards establishing or maintaining …

Rejection isn’t easy for anyone. In fact both men and women are pretty terrible at receiving and even worse at doing the rejecting ourselves.  Somehow we hate it but we never step into someone else’s shoes to experience what kind …

This is a difficult subject for all of us.  We all know the feeling of liking someone more than they like us and it’s pretty terrible. But what’s worse is how we can treat people that we don’t care for …

Have you ever been accused of “playing games” or not being upfront? For many of us, the challenge lies in uttering three deceptively simple words: I’m not interested. This single sentence has the power to save both time and heartache—for you and for others.

If we’re honest, ignoring someone’s advances often does convey disinterest, but only part of the time. In other cases, our silence could be rooted in poor communication skills, shyness, or even uncertainty about our own feelings.

Instead of clearly expressing interest—or politely declining—we often respond to invitations with baffling, irrelevant updates about our physical location. When someone asks you out and your response is, “I’m in the shower,” “I’m at work,” or “I’m at the beach,” you’re not just speaking in fragments—you’re unintentionally sabotaging your chances.

These non-answers leave your suitor confused and discouraged, making it seem as though you’re brushing them off in a manipulative way, even if that wasn’t your intent. The solution? A simple yet transformative addition: but.

“I’m not interested, BUT I’d love to see you as a friend.”

“I’m busy tonight, BUT tomorrow works perfectly!”

By using “but,” you can turn down an invitation while still leaving the door open for clarity, connection, or future opportunities.

Ready to come closer. Visit closeness.com for in person coaching and more sexual guidance.

You can also subscribe to Closeness on YouTube

Have you ever been accused of playing games or not being up front? Most of us struggle with three simple words:

I’m not interested.

This one sentence alone can save you time and heartache. If we’re being honest, a lack …

“I don’t want to waste my time.”  It’s a nasty little expression that people love to use  when referring to anyone who “isn’t the one,” or who isn’t going to give them something they want.    But it also devalues the …

Being too busy is one of the most quietly damaging things you can signal to someone who wants to be close to you. Not because it's mean — but because of what it communicates without a single honest word: that your time matters more, that they aren't worth a follow-up, and that you're not someone who shows up.

In this episode, Tari unpacks why chronic busyness and lateness aren't personality quirks. They're behavioral signals — and the people you're trying to attract are reading them clearly. Whether it's the blanket "can't, sorry" text, the day-of cancellation, the Instagram post that somehow got made but the message didn't get returned — you've been seen. And being too busy, chronically, is making you significantly less attractive to the people who matter most.

You'll walk away from this episode with the exact scripts to use instead of the default "busy" response, a clear picture of what your behavior is actually costing the person on the other end, and one simple rule that repairs most of it immediately: always say more.

This episode is for anyone in a relationship where the chase has gone cold, anyone in early dating wondering why interest keeps evaporating, and anyone who has been on the receiving end of someone who never quite had time. If that's you, this conversation is going to name what's been happening in a way that finally makes sense.

Ready to work on this in real time? [Link to related episode: What It Means When She Says She Needs Space] explores the other side of availability — what to do when distance enters a relationship that used to feel close.

For personalized coaching on intimacy and relationships, visit [Closeness.com](https://closeness.com).

It’s on trend to let everyone know exactly how busy you are.  As you run from one thing to the next,  filling your day with what needs to get done, you distance yourself more and more from everyone around you.  …

As soon as you have sex with someone new, a pattern begins and expectations set in.  But those moments before you do it, are so special.  Your thoughts and actions on this subject and in fact how you act during …