God rescues us. God reveals himself to us. We’re captivated by Jesus and what he’s done for us on the cross. Our hearts are full of hope and joy and peace. And literally the next day we’ll find ourselves going right back to our old way of living. We’ll drink too much, eat too much, gossip, resent other people, fester in bitterness, nurse our pride back to life to attempt life on our own again…we’re just like the Israelites.
So, I have a question for you. It’s a question my counselor asked me years ago when I felt so completely stuck living in the tornado of fear and resentment and self-pity and pride. My counselor asked me this: “Andy, when things go wrong…are you a rebel or a victim? It’s a powerful question. The question demands that I think about how I’m responding to life…it demands me to wrestle with whether or not I’m willing to own my sin or blame what I’m doing on someone else. As I rebel I own my actions as my ‘just response’ to God’s supposed apathy (I know, it’s wrong on so many levels). As a victim I can correctly point to how I’ve been wounded and betrayed but then I get a free ticket to respond however I want.
When you go back to your little self-salvation project, do you see yourself as someone actively rebelling against God or that your mistake is actually not really your fault, like temptation was a hole you just fell into? This question…are you a rebel or a victim…is an essential question to answer correctly if you’re going to walk in freedom with God. Chances are pretty high you’re going to sin again. So what will you do as a disciple? How do you keep on walking in freedom with God when things fall apart? What’s the first step out of this mess?