Cocoa Griot- Let "auntie" wisdom and energy keep you uplifted!

I am a time traveler in my own mind. I can get bogged down in the details of my past or jet to the future mentally at a moment's notice. Tonight I am sharing my thoughts about what I find valuable about each time period, and ways that I strive to stay connected to the present. Tonight's show is sponsored by Db!

Get 10% off their amazing line of backpacks and bags by clicking this link!

What time period do you dwell in the most? Take this quiz for fun to see.

An incredible episode of Impact Theory featuring Jay Williams is reachable by clicking this link.

00: 12

Welcome to my humble podcast abode. Just a fifty-something who sparkles and glistens when she gets to talk to you guys about life, love, and a hodgepodge of other topics. Carpe diem, seize the day! Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present. There are so many sayings I've heard over the years, to remind me about living in the present moment. I appreciate these reminders, but I often modulate between my past my present and my future. It struck me that it's really important to acknowledge my past, plan for my future, but try my best to stay grounded in the present. Tonight, I want to talk to you about the importance of these three different phases of life. One of my favorite sayings is, your rearview mirror is smaller than your windshield because it's more important to see where you're going than where you've been.

1:09

I have to think of my past as a teacher that I have a love and hate relationship with elements of my past that enrich my life in a number of ways. I would be lying if I didn't say there were parts of my life that I cringe when I think about them. Let me share a couple of examples with you guys. A humorous example of acknowledging my past and learning a lesson was the day I casually strolled through the mall with my dress tucked in the back of my underwear. Yes, I gave total strangers an accidental peep show. I learned a lesson that day, stop wearing pantyhose. No seriously, it was just about always checking myself whenever I'm going out into a huge public space. Another example that comes to mind is I always struggle with the dead horse syndrome. A job that when it's time to leave, when its time to let go, or a friendship that the expiration date has passed by several years have been difficult transitions for me. I always look for ways to resuscitate the situation. I try to focus on the good elements I want to hold on to. All the while, I am there, I am slowly poisoning myself. This is one of the great lessons of my past. Recognize when it is time to separate part 1, and part 2, complete the action. Knowing when something is over and actually ending it can be two different things. I am actually embarrassed to calculate the number of years I spent in dead-end jobs, relationships and friendships. Sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone is to free them up to find their future!

2:56

Now let’s roll into planning for the future. I see this in terms of setting goals and planning the execution of those goals. Many people will set financial goals. They will invest, they may have a financial planner, and that is their total sum of planning for the future. I think that's only a piece of what needs to be done in my life. Beyond the financial piece, there is a health goal that I set for myself. It's about how many times per week I'm going to exercise and what is the duration of that exercise? In terms of eating- what lifestyle and I am going to embrace? Will I follow a vegetarian, vegan, pescatarian,...

People all around us are serving different materialistic masters. I have guilt associated with not having my priorities in the right place in the past. In this episode, I will share some thoughts about masters some people serve. Please visit Amazon.com and check out Boss Flow to purchase incredible PMS gummies. Enter B-O-S-S-F-L-O-W as your discount code to receive 10% off your order. Priorities in Life Quiz- Click on the link if you want to analyze your priorities in life.

0:07

Good evening and welcome to my humble podcast abode. I am Cocoa Griot, you know, the fifty-something who gets out glowy inside when she gets to talk to you guys about life, love, and a plethora of other topics. Well, I had an interesting conversation a few weeks ago with a gentleman that sparked me to thinking about people and things. He said, "I know he drove a Subaru Forester, but what car do you really want?" Excuse me?" I was totally taken aback. I said, "I drive a Subaru Forester because I want to drive a Subaru Forester." And he said," Well, you probably really want a Mercedes or BMW or something like that." I said, "No, I'm driving what I want to drive." Then I started thinking about how people are so fascinated with materialism and in society. It seems to be very difficult to be yourself, and people are constantly trying to put you into this materialistic mode. Well, I work very hard to live a minimalist lifestyle. I truly believe that when you make things your Master, you're going to be miserable in life, and whatever you make your master, you will serve. How did we get to this place where we assign people value based on the things they own? We will praise morally bankrupt celebrities, just because they are rich and famous. We will downplay people who can have hearts of gold, but they are not wealthy. For fun, I placed a life priorities quiz in my show notes. I was not surprised by my results. Family is now my number one priority. Give it a try and see where you land.

1:54

I remember one time a friend gave me a $900 purse. That's right. Not $9, not 90, $900! I was horrified. I thanked her and then I told her that was not my cup of tea. I usually buy my purses at Ross, and I don't spend more than about $30 for a purse. She would not take it back. So, I sold the purse on eBay and paid some bills. Now I know people with several, clothes, shoes and handbag habits. A colleague I worked with always had matching shoes and bags. She was diva down every day. I mean this woman looked like she stepped out of a magazine, every day. Then one day at work, she looked incredibly sad. When I asked her what was wrong. She said her water had been turned off at home. There are no words to describe my level of dismay. Her master was dressing a certain way every day, even if it meant not having utilities paid.

3:03

People pick your poison for different reasons. I know for years, I struggled with having to have the latest version of a vehicle. I will be in the middle of paying off a vehicle, and another car would come out that I just had to have. Foolishly I would finance the negative equity of one car into the amount of the next vehicle. You can imagine that after doing this four or five times, I found myself in a never-ending cycle of automobile debt. My last car purchase was difficult. I purchased a vehicle without financing any negative equity. With the current car-buying crisis my car with 20,000 miles on it is now valued at about $4,000 more than I paid for it brand new. For years I made having the latest and greatest automobile, my master. It pains me to see cars that I bought years ago that are still on the road. I could have been driving the same car, and I would have been better off financially if I just stayed satisfied with the vehicle I had. But no, I was caught up in having the latest and...

Trauma can be a stumbling block or a stepping stone. This episode focuses on how I do not let the worst experience of my life define me anymore. Tonight's sponsor is Relief Factor! Get your discount today! https://bit.ly/3f5iKMo

00:04

Good evening and welcome to my humble podcast abode. I am Cocoa Griot. You know the 50 something who geeks out when she has the opportunity to talk about life, love, and a smattering of other topics. Recently, I had a conversation with my best friend of over 40 years, whoo I am dating myself, Molly. We were talking about obstacles in our lives and I suggested that we look back at the things we have gone through and let them remind us of our strength. We can view trauma as a stumbling block, or a stepping stone. The choice is definitely ours. This evening, I'm going to share a few points about why it is important to take the lessons we learned from trauma, and use those lessons to keep us motivated to succeed. The Adverse Childhood Experiences Study or ACEs captured important data to show the impact of childhood trauma, the experiences might be abuse, neglect, witnessing domestic violence, etc. This study found that as exposure to these types of events increased, the likelihood for unfavorable outcomes, such as disease risk factors incidence and poor self-rated health was a problem. The lack of healthcare utilization and mortality increased according to how high the ACES score was. Seriously scary stuff right? I put a link to the ACE quiz in my show notes, and you can take the quiz if you would like to see where you score.

01:38

Thinking about trauma exposure as a guaranteed ticket to failure is not healthy. I've discussed before that I am a sexual assault survivor. My neighbor attacked me when I was just four years old. I suppressed the memory for decades until one day I had to face it. The evidence of my trauma was the unhealthy lifestyle I lived. Even when I didn't talk about it, it still permeated every cell of my body. When I confronted my abuser 46 years later, I freed myself. I served a 46-year sentence of shame and guilt for something I had no control over. Now, I let the experience motivate me to succeed because I realized some things about myself. The first thing I realized is that it is important to have compassion when you see people behave a certain way. I know this grace was extended to me by several people. Thank you. I may not understand who you are and everything you do, but I can give you the space to be yourself. How has this helped me in the workplace? I don't go around expecting everyone to be me. I can have friendships with people that have different belief systems than mine. Now my preference would have been to never experience what happened to me 51 years ago, but I can't change it. I do have the ability to find a way to use that experience to motivate me to succeed in other facets of my life.

03:13

The second lesson I learned is that I'm incredibly strong and resilient, even though the experience planted a seed in me of inferiority. I still achieved many of my life goals. I got married, got an education I had kids, even though there was a battle raging in my subconscious that drove me to continually doubt myself. When I read the results of the ACE study, I literally broke down and cried. My life could have been so different. I cannot underestimate the importance of being surrounded by an incredible amount of love and support from my friends and family. They always say I gave it to them as well, but somehow I feel like the prize winner in all of this deal. I think about when my dad taught me how to ride a bike. He held on to the bike and walked with me while I pedaled until I told him one day, I got it. My family kept me strong. Until the day I realized I am strong.

04:15

Before I move to the final lesson I learned, I need to share some important information about tonight's sponsor. Tonight's episode is sponsored...

Last week I talked about how different communication styles can cause the same page blues. In this episode, I am discussing money and intimacy as obstacles in relationships. Tonight's episode is sponsored by Hello Fresh.

Link: https://hellofresh-ca.o5kg.net/c/2544961/791027/7893

Code: HFAFF80 If you are asked to convert to another link, please do not! Get 80 dollars off and free shipping from Hello Fresh.

00:00

Good evening and welcome to my humble podcast abode. I am Cocoa Griot. You know that fifty-something who lights up when she can talk about life, love, and a hodgepodge of other topics. Last week I started talking about the same page blues. That episode was really looking at communication in relationships and I posed a couple of questions that I promised I would address tonight. The first question was, what happens when the Sprinter decides their voice needs to be heard? Well, in situations like this, most of the time when the Sprinter wants to be heard, the Marathoner feels like that person is changing. They are not the person they were initially drawn to. If the Sprinter wants to be more vocal, then you might just have to find another relationship to do that in. The second question was, should the marathoner, encourage a sprinter to talk more? Again, the issue becomes are you turning this person into something that they really are not. So in that instance, I'm thinking about an issue is going to arise from that. Anyone that's trying to shape you to be what they want you to be doesn't really appreciate the person that you are. If they really have the desire to mold and shape, invite them to buy some Play-Doh.

1:30

Definitely, communication can be a stumbling block in a relationship. Tonight, I want to look at other areas in which the same page, if you're not there, can cause the blues. The first would be finances. When I got married, I basically had zilch, in terms of experience in managing money. I had a dad who used to give me blank checks to go shopping. But I had a husband that didn't have those same kinds of pockets, for me it was that a big growing-up moment. I didn't understand about balancing the checkbook, I just wrote them and let them fly. My husband with his loving tone came to me and said, Honey, I'm gonna let you have your own checking account for a little while. I want you to work on managing that when you show me you can manage money responsibly, I will resume having a joint account with you. This is the best thing he could have ever done for me. It made me grow up and learn how to handle money. Still not the best, but I've come a long way.

2:34

If you are a spender, but your partner's a saver, that can really be a point of contention. It's important before you come together to understand a person's views about money. Be observant. Watch how a person manages their finances and have open conversations with them about how you manage money. Problems can destroy marriages and relationships, pretty quickly. Being on the same page is a source of harmony for you and your partner. A relationship's financial health is a cornerstone of the overall health of a relationship.

3:09

Hey, speaking of finances. I am so excited to share tonight's sponsor with you. Tonight's episode is brought to you by HelloFresh. Do you feel like you're stuck in a dinner rut? With HelloFresh you get fresh pre-measured ingredients with mouth-watering seasonal recipes delivered right to your door. Skip all those trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking, easy, fun, and affordable. You can now enjoy cooking and get dinner on the table in 30 minutes, or less. With over 25 recipes to choose from, each week, there is something for everyone to enjoy. All recipes are designed and tested by professional chefs and nutritional experts to ensure deliciousness and simplicity. Have you seen the salsa verde enchiladas? One look was enough for me to be...

The destination of many couples is brunt on the same page. What are some struggles of opposites when they attract?

00:19

Evening and welcome to my humble podcast abode. I am Coco Grieux just a 50 something who relishes in talking about life, love, and a smattering of other topics. The same page is the premier destination for many couples. This place represents happiness, contentment, and the pathway to a lasting relationship. My mom used to say nothing beats understanding. When you and your partner are on the same page, life is good! A longtime friend of mine Wayne and I were talking about how people can have so much in common, but certain elements in relationships hinder long-term success. These couples have a case of the same page blues. It seems they cannot make it to that destination.

1:10

Let me give you a few examples of what this can look like. You have a person who you are genuinely interested in, and you're connected to them. You just see yourself being involved with this person for a very long time. You are an introvert, and they are an extrovert. There's some strong potential for problems to arise in this situation. A great night to you is sitting down and watching a movie and having a conversation, only when it's necessary, Your partner wants to go out and be the life of the party among friends. You guys are not on the same page, you have the same page blues. There's a lot of talk about how opposites attract. But when you get down to the fundamentals of a person's personality, sometimes that opposite can derail an entire relationship. I want to make a suggestion with the situation. The time to talk about these kinds of issues is not when you find yourself in conflict. This has to be fleshed out ahead of time. Compromise is a great tool to introduce into the relationship. Maybe you spend your evening watching a movie, and the extrovert goes out and spends time with friends. It takes a lot of trust to be able to do that. I'm not a fan of contorting yourself to be something you're not just to please someone else. Even if you genuinely care about the other person. I think it is an unrealistic expectation to do everything together. This is something you have to talk about when you're starting a relationship in terms of expectations because expectations can be resentments on layaway. Are you okay with your partner going out when you don't feel like it? Or are you okay with your partner staying at home when you don't feel like it? These are very grown-up conversations to have and you have to put feelings aside. Just be real about where you are with one another. It is human to go along to get along, but in the end, not being your authentic self will get old. Faked the page, invite the rage.

3:14

Before I go on, let me pay the bills for this podcast by sharing tonight's sponsor with you. Tonight's episode is brought to you by Azoth. Azoth is a Boston- based women-owned supplement company that makes premium quality supplements for women with a mission to help people reach their highest potential without the harmful side effects of over-the-counter medications. Their newest supplement Boss Flow is a PMS gummy that helps every woman to be a boss, no matter what day of the month it is. These little gummies are packed full with a delicious blast of strawberry flavor and powerful vitamins and nutrients to help soothe menstrual cramps, stop bloating and balance out hormonal mood swings and acne symptoms that are often caused by periods. Trust me, I've heard these really work. Boss Flow is exclusively, offering my listeners 10% off your next purchase by going to Amazon.com searching for Boss Flow gummies, and using the code Boss Flow. That's code BOSS FLOW to get 10% of your purchase at checkout. You need to have an Amazon or Amazon Prime account to get these delicious gummies, Order Boss Flow-supplements for boss women on the go.

4:42

So back to tonight's topic. One of the...

Everywhere you turn people are ready to give advice these days. Some of the best advice I’ve ever received actually came from Disney movies. In this episode, I share my favorite pieces of advice from pretty popular Disney movies.

00:00

Good evening and welcome to my humble podcast abode. I am Cocoa Griot just a fifty-something who dabbles in talking about life, love, and a googob of other topics. Advice is abundant in life, but not all advice is good advice. I love watching movies and Disney movies are a surprising source of good advice. Tonight, I'm sharing with you the best advice I've gleaned from these movies. I will tell you the advice first, and then name the movie it came from. Hopefully, if you not seen the movie mentioned, you'll take the time to check it out.

00:49

"It's up to you how far you go if you don't try, you'll never know." This is from the Sword in the Stone. This advice helped me when I thought about going to graduate school, I was in my 40s and feeling very out of touch with school. I was motivated to attend because I wanted to improve my practices as an educator. The what if's that came to mind were awesome and massive. I had a two- year old child, I had a first-year college student, and not to mention, I was working a full-time job. There were more reasons not to go than to go, but I thought about this piece of advice, and I forged ahead with my plan. Not only did I begin my studies I successfully earned my Master's degree with a 4.0 average. My mom always said, nothing beats a failure, but a try.

1:41

The next quote, "I don't want to survive. I want to live." is from the movie Wall-E. This simple quote is incredibly powerful. There's a difference between living and existing. I spent six years in a relationship with he who shall not be named. It was a sad state of existence, and I truly was not living. Looking forward to embracing each day is a hallmark of living. Now, I jumped out of bed in the morning and I'm eager to experience my days. Each day brings joy from different sources. I have said the next quote is one that is definitely easier said than done." It's important to always look where you're headed, rather than where you were." This is from The Lion King. A recent conversation with a good friend centered around this topic. I was telling him about the regrets I had regarding interactions with certain people. He reminded me that my windshield is bigger than my rearview mirror because it is more important to see where you are going than where you'd have been. I smiled and nodded because I knew he was right. Staying in the present is very necessary to foster happiness.

2:51

Before I go on to the remaining quotes, I'm going to take a moment and share tonight's sponsor with you, today's sponsor is PODGO. PODGO is the easiest way to monetize your podcast. Providing podcasters with a flat rate for ad space, so you always know how much you get when you include an ad from PODGO. Apply today to become a member and immediately be connected with advertisers that fit your audience. That's PODGO.CO , P O D, G O dot CO, and be sure to add the Cocoa Griot podcast in the section, how did you hear about PODGO.

3:32

So, the next quote is "The flower that blooms and adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all." This is from Mulan and the quote touches me deeply because of the struggles I've experienced in life. My time at Texas Tech University is one of the best examples of this quote in action. There were 25,000 students at the university, and only 500 were black. I dealt with discrimination to the point I begged my mom to come home. My mother told me that if I can survive in the face of adversity, I will thrive in life. So when this quote came out in the movie, I had to smile and think about my mom. I stuck it out there, and I'm proud to say I earned my degree in a place that challenged me to become the best version of myself....

Do you have a go-to phrase that is your personal mantra for maintaining sanity? In this episode, I will share the phrase that saves my sanity and helps me to stay on an even keel emotionally. This is the link to get your discount from Relief Factor. https://bit.ly/3f5iKMo

0:02

Good evening and welcome to my humble podcast abode. I am Cocoa Griot, a fifty-something who enjoys sharing ideas about life, love, and a heaping of other topics. This is my one-year anniversary show of bringing you this podcast. I am humbled by the support of my listeners during this journey of growth and exploration. Tonight's topic is the eight-word phrase that saves my sanity on a daily basis. Stress is a guaranteed part of my life, and I encounter stress on a daily basis. Some of you might as well. I was venting one day to a good friend of mine Dr. Marilyn Sinckiweicz. Marilyn looked at me when I finally stopped yapping and paused. She casually said, it is what it is, til it isn't. I just looked at her and thanked her. During this casual conversation, I had been handed one of the most valuable tools to survive adulting. Even if I don't say these words out loud during times of struggle, it helps me to say them in my head. Let me share a few examples from my life, where this phrase saved the day.

1:17

When I was ready to part ways with he who shall not be named, I told him to meet me at the car lot, where I had bought his vehicle. Yes, that's right. I was dumb enough to finance a car for someone who abused me. He parked the car,then he handed me the keys and turned his back on me without saying a word. I saw him get into the car with another woman and drive off. That was the last time I ever saw him. I didn't cry. I didn't curse him. I simply said, it is what it is, til it isn't. It was the most freeing experience ever! Four years later, he died of cancer. I was glad that no matter how evil he had treated me, I didn't have a guilty conscience about my behavior regarding the last time we saw each other in person.

2:12

One time, my cousin's ex-wife came to me and said she desperately needed money for her and the kids. She claimed my cousin was behind on child support. I felt bad for her because I was a widow and a single mom myself. I explained to her, I could loan it to her only under the condition, she would pay me back within two weeks, because I had some bills, I would need to pay back then. Well, as the old saying goes, no good deed goes unpunished. Right? I called her a few days before I needed the money back, and she will not answer me. I went by her house and she will not come to the door. I didn't cry. I didn't curse her. I just said it is what it is til isn't. As luck would have it, I bumped into my cousin and I talked to him about what happened. He explained to me his ex-wife had a habit of borrowing money and not paying it back. He was just shocked that she was fleecing his relatives now that she had burned all of hers. Then, my cousin told me something that stunned me. He said instead of bringing her money, he was going to pay me back the money. I was incredibly grateful but ended up morphing into being the bad person. His wife dirty macked my name with family members, even though I had helped her.

3:41

I want to take a quick break and share some information about tonight's exciting sponsor. Tonight's episode is sponsored by Ri factor. Pain from everyday living, exercise, or just getting older is one of the leading causes of trips to the doctor and sleepless nights. It interferes with daily activities, and can even keep us from spending time with the people we love. If you have every day, pain, it stands to reason you need something you can feel comfortable with taking every day. That's why doctors and then 100% Drug-Free Relief Factor. Now, 10s of 1000s of customers are using Relief Factor every day, to become mostly or completely pain-free 100% Drug-Free relief factor features four

Sometimes you pick up a book and it literally is torture to put it down. The Richest Man in Babylon is an engaging read chocked full of financial wisdom. https://thediamondsmine.com/files/Ebooks/Clason-RichestManInBabylon.pdf

0:10

Good evening and welcome to my humble podcast abode. I am Cocoa Griot. Just a 50 something who delights in discussing life, love, and a vast array of other topics. Books have been my constant companion ever since I learned to read. As an adult, I have some favorite books and recently added one to my collection. I haven't always had the greatest grasp of how to handle finances. So, when a friend mentioned the book, The Richest Man in Babylon, by Samuel Clason to me, I was intrigued by the title. I picked it up and it was very difficult to put back down. In the show notes, I put a link to the PDF of the book, so you can check it out for free. Out of the wealth of knowledge in this book, three main aha moments happened for me. I am hoping you permit me to share what really stood out to me in this helpful book. I think it's important to encourage each other when we find a good read and point us in that direction right?

1:16

So, I know that the first aha, which is paying yourself first, it is sometimes hard to get that out y'all. I struggle with this probably more than any of the other principles laid out in this book. The idea that when you work, you get paid, and you turn around and give that to somebody else, that's been the mainstay of my life. So why is it important to pay yourself? The most prolific reason is so that you feel you are directly benefiting from the work you did. I know you turn on the light switch it works, which is great, or you go to the refrigerator and there's no echo when you open the door, and that's great. But y'all it's deeper than that. When we talk about paying yourself first, we mean, are you saving or are you investing so you have the opportunity to see your funds grow? When you're only paying your bills and other obligations, all you see is a depletion of funds. There is joy in being able to see the money you earn blossom through saving or investing.

2:23

My next aha moment is living below your means. I always grew up hearing live within your means, but the concept of living below your means was foreign to me. I totally get it though. If you're living below your means, you're most likely finding opportunities and ways to save money at every turn. This strategy also helps you create a budget and stick to it. This was my reaction when someone used to mention the word budget to me.

2:59

It seemed like you were confining yourself to something and it was almost like having an adult allowance, and now my viewpoint has totally changed. Creating this budget is actually the stepping stone to having financial freedom. If you exercise discipline for a little while, there's greater later. I'm now making budgeting a priority for sure. I used to complain about the fact that there was so much month left at the end of my money, but I understand why. Eliminating the word 'just' as it relates to money was a big help for me. Saying something is' just' $5, or' just' $10 minimizes the cumulative impact that can happen over time. If I spend that ''just $10 on 10 Things that are unnecessary. That's just $100 gone. Creating an awareness of how I spend money has helped me tremendously.

3:54

Hey, speaking of money, it is time to pay the bills for this podcast, with your permission, I want to take a moment and talk about tonight's sponsor, Bruush is an electric toothbrush that will change the way you think about brushing your teeth. With powerful sonic technology and ultra-gentle bristles, Bruush redefines what it means to have super clean teeth. It's like that feeling when you just leave the...

I am lamenting the years I spent eating toxic foods. I am not just concerned with the effect on my body, my brain health suffered as well.

0:12

Welcome to my humble podcast abode. I am Coco Griot, just a 50 something who digs talking about life, love, and a heaping over the topics. I'm coming to you a little early this week because there's some maintenance going on with my host provider. I would really rather deliver the message early than late. I'm just going to jump right into it out of the gate and let you know, I am a hypocrite. Whenever I saw people riding motorcycles, you know like crotch rockets, without helmets, I would automatically think, how do they not care about their brain. Yet I would sit down at buffest and eat like there was no tomorrow because I didn't care about my brain. Now that I've got that off my chest about being a hypocrite, I'm going to share with you my newfound knowledge regarding food choices, and cognitive decline.

1:11

A lot of you listening are probably in your 20s or 30s and the last thing you're thinking about is what life will be like in your 70s or 80s. Well, because that is not so far away from me, I want to talk about tonight: What is the fork, are you doing for your brain? I want to tell you this is something we should be thinking about before we are staring aging in the face. I read some interesting research from the National Institute on Aging. If you will listen for a little while I'd like for you to take the time to think about feeding your brain, as well as your body. Scientists have discovered there's a definite link between what we eat and what our brains will be functioning like when we get older. Because I'm a woman of a certain age, I'm interested in what the research has to say about aging and diet. There's a study that was done with several hundred people who were not showing any signs of cognitive decline, even though they were... let's just say seasoned. You know when Pharaoh's daughter pulled Moses out of the water, she handed him to me to dry him off, because I am very well seasoned. I know family members and friends that experience tremendous cognitive deficits. I don't want that to be me. As long as my physical body is here, I want my mental capacity to be its companion, fully. Now I know that this is one of those shows where you guys are saying Cocoa is going off on her little sciency things, but really, you know, I am a kind of sciency girl.

2:52

Get a life nerd. One of the things that I want to highlight from this study is the fact that there is a diet for your mind. So, since the word diet bothers me, I kind of prefer to say lifestyle. Like we've heard about the vegan lifestyle, or the vegetarian lifestyle, or the Keto lifestyle. This diet, lifestyle, basically stands for Mediterranean Intervention for Neurocognitive Delay. Say that three times fast! I need a glass of water after that. The information I'm sharing with you tonight is not thus sayeth Cocoa Griot. This information comes from the National Institute of Aging. Now you might not be thinking about aging, right now. It is something that is so far off, but I want you to think about this kind of like retirement. So many people think about, oh, I'm going to save for retirement while I'm young. But have we ever thought about what if you save all this money, and then someone else has to be over it because you don't have the mental capacity to manage your own affairs? That would truly be a travesty. So we kind of have to think about this as an investment in ourselves for the long term.

4:04

Before I continue on with the topic, please allow me to share a word about our sponsor for tonight's podcast. Tonight's episode is sponsored by Relief Factor. Pain from everyday living, exercise, or just getting older is one of the leading causes of trips to the doctor and sleepless nights. It interferes with daily activities, and can even keep us from spending time with...

I was my Big Daddy's Blue Bug and he was the center of my world during my first four years of life. He gifted me with coping mechanisms that help me to handle life's stresses.

0:00

Good evening and welcome to my humble podcast abode. I am Cocoa Griot, just a 50 something who cherishes talking about life, love, and a plethora of other topics. A few months back I sat down to read my email, and one message stood out from the rest of the normal junk mail that litters my inbox. The message was from the website, Find A Grave, and it was an alert that someone had honored my picture request. Now I don't know what kind of person takes out the time to walk around cemeteries and take pictures, but boy, am I grateful to this person beyond measure. I hesitated for a moment to open the email and look at the photo. Once I've opened it, I could not stop looking at the grave marker. I kept thinking about how inadequate that space was to describe the man I knew as Big Daddy. Aww... Elbert Leon Lewis was born in the late 1890s, and he was my mother's grandfather. For the first four years of my life, he was truly the center of my world. Every day before my parents went to work, they marched us across the street to Big Daddy's house. I could not get there fast enough, because he always greeted me with tender forehead kisses and a squeeze of my oversized cheeks. 

1:31

Big Daddy was the only person allowed to call me Blue Bug, according to my rules. He made up the nickname, so he had the sole privilege of using the nickname. My first sanctuary was just being in Big Daddies presence. I didn't fret when my parents went to work, because I knew a day of adventure was a store for my siblings and me. Amazingly, over 50 years have passed since I last saw Big Daddy. I am not sad when I think of him though, the opposite is true. I get transported to a time of pure joy in my life when I think about him, and my memories. The activities he enjoyed were simple, and they bring me joy today as well. He gifted me with ways to cope when things are stressful in life. Let me start with music. If there was no Charlie Parker, Duke Ellington, or Dizzy Gillespie playing on the Victrola, Big Daddy had to be sick. Music was such a huge part of his day, but I never remember him listening to blues music. There was always some kind of upbeat merriment that made me move my spindly legs, even though I had zero rhythm. I learned from him that music was a balm to your soul. He never directly spoke those words to me, but I could see how his eyes lit up when he heard the famous Night in Tunisia.

3:04

Years later I got to hear Dizzy Gillespie's live performance, and I was overcome with joy. I could see Big Daddy's wide smile when I close my eyes and bobbed my head to the haunting melody. Music is a sanctuary I'm so grateful to have in my life today. I can listen to George Gershwin's Rhapsody and believe one minute, and then George Clinton's Not Just Knee Deep the next. It is not about the vehicle that takes me there, it is the journey itself, that allows me to get lost in my sanctuary. Some days when things are really rough. I tune out the world and just tune in to my music.

3:38

 An additional sanctuary that I got from him was reading. I remember when I researched Big Daddy's parents, they were both born in the 1870s, and so I was excited to found out they were both literate. I was excited when I read the information about them in the 1910 census. Big Daddy read the newspaper every day. He especially enjoyed the comics, seeing him read every day made me anxious to learn to want to read. I love to listen to his booming baritone voice narrate what was happening in the comments as my eyes darted across the page.

4:08

Please permit me to take a moment to thank tonight's sponsor for our show. PodGo. Tonight's podcast is presented by PodGo. PodGo is the easiest way for you to monetize your podcast, providing...