Cocoon

Tysha was basically born wanting to have a family of her own, with as many children as she could handle. But she got a late start, and it seemed as though she might never reach the destination she'd had in her heart when she started.

For 17 years Jamie had hoped to have a baby but only experienced loss after loss after loss. Meanwhile, her cousin Bonnie was watching and waiting—knowing and hoping that she could offer a solution that would bring healing to both of them.

After a bit of difficulty trying to get pregnant with their third baby together, Kristin and David decided to pursue IVF. It was an experience that would stretch them and help Kristin find her own boundaries around her body.

David and Kristin got married in 2008 and after taking some time to adjust and blend their lives with their 3 children, they decided it was time to try to have a baby together. Before too long, they were parents of two daughters. And then . . . things started to drift.

When David was 30, he was a kindergarten teacher in a rough part of LA. He decided that, despite being a single man, there must be something he could do to relieve the suffering of a child in foster care and chose to pursue adoption for a child in need. It was the first step in creating a home that is a refuge for many different people with many different needs.

Amanda was at a crossroads in her life—a tricky transitional place between bearing children and moving beyond that—when a friend asked for some help finding someone who might be willing to be a surrogate for her. Amanda took some time to think about it and found that she could be that person.

Over the course of the next year, Amanda took on a physical and emotional challenge that would not only result in a beautiful baby girl, but in strengthened friendships, greater peace as she closed her childbearing chapter, and (no surprise) the best sleep of her life.

Rebecca decided to pursue a career in medicine about the same time that she had her first baby. And it has always been an open question whether she could have both the family she dreamed of and the career she felt called to. Recently that question has been pressing on her with a little more urgency and she reached out to Lizzie, who happens to be a friend of hers, to talk about it. Lizzie thinks about these kinds of things a lot.

The two of them talked about some of the hopes and hesitations that fuel our decisions regarding our families, about the difficulties of being a mother in the workplace, and about how things have changed for working mothers—at least since we've been paying attention.

Questions that remain unanswered: can you have it all? Professional fulfillment and a house full of babies? Should you even try? Can you live with yourself if you don't? We don't really know the answers to anything, but sometimes it can help to talk it out with a friend.

Four and a half years ago, Jill stood on the sidewalk and watched as another family drove away with the little boy she had given birth to days before. While pregnant, she had been unemployed, depressed, and certain she could not care for a child the way he deserved to be cared for. But the experience did not quiet the yearning she had always felt to be a mom. If anything, it strengthened it.

At first Jill set aside the feelings, but time passed and while her circumstances changed, her feelings didn't. She soon had a job, a relationship, and a medication that stabilized her mental health—and she wanted to try again to be a mom.

And now, just a few years from that curbside goodbye, Jill's life has taken so many turns that you might think you had wandered into someone else's story.

Click here for the first part of Jill's story: I Could Bring Him to His Family.

Robin’s first pregnancy was one of the happiest times of her life—and something she had been looking forward to since childhood. But when she was 41 weeks and 6 days pregnant, she found out that a lot of things can happen when babies are born.

In the aftermath of Robin’s pregnancy, she had a lot of work to do. Healing for herself, sensitivity to her husband and his trauma—and looking ahead to her future family. And that meant preparing to face another pregnancy, another childbirth where anything could happen.

When we meet someone like Robin, or hear of them, we often say, “I could never handle that. I could never survive something like she did.” But we all experience fear, anxiety, disappointment and when we hear these stories of people who have faced a huge loss, we generally come away with hope, and with love. Not only do we feel compassion for someone else’s struggle, but we can find strength and a starting point and someone to emulate in facing our own struggles.  

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

What Can I Do To Help?

Robin’s Living With Kids Post on Design Mom