Coffee for Communists

“Doctor” Cuttsy Wuttsy visits the studio to talk about his new martial arts technique inspired by the starfish. Originally having come to America to start a sandwich shop, Cuttsy now makes a meager living as a fitness specialist. He competes in Word or Not a Word, with the help from a very special caller, Harriet. Grolph recounts his transition from weatherman to radioman and his recovery from the superbug. Michelob is still wearing a towel — err, mantle — on his back, and with the help of Cuttsy, Ski has made made the studio the cleanest it’s ever been. This show is brought to you by Frank’s Peanut Fried Almonds.

Spiritual dance guru Genie von Deenie graces the airwaves with her cat-inspired dances. Michelobe has just returned from the Conclave of the Mind (where he met Genie) and plans a pilgrimage to a small town in Lithuania to visit a meteor sent by Grouche, an extraterrestrial life-force. Meanwhile, the studio has been announced a superfund site, which provided enough funding for Ski to finally get rid of the turtle, nutria, and alligator infestation caused by incredible amounts of NutraDebt in their diet. However, Grolph has already come down with a super bug carried by the nutria.

Sam Shortley has just arrived at the studio, suitcase in tow, along with his one-thousand page pictorial novella (which is strikingly similar to the Bible). The crew offers some advice before he sets out for the big city, where both opportunity and danger lurk. Michelobe has just gotten out of the hospital and is on prescription sandwiches from his nutrologist, Free, after learning the cadmium in Nutradebt is toxic. Meanwhile, the studio is being visited by men in hazmat suits, but Ski assures that it’s nothing to worry about.