-I never know what the protocol is on putting just coins in a tip jar. Like if I get 47 cents back, I don’t really want to carry that around, I’d rather get rid of it and just dump it in the tip jar. And it’s better than giving nothing, but for some reason it feels like it’s worse. You hear that clang hit the bottom of the can and it just makes you feel so cheap. It somehow makes you feel cheaper than giving nothing at all, even though that shouldn’t be the case.

-While I am a big fan of pasta, I rarely find myself getting it as my main course when I go to an Italian restaurant. Because when you get a main pasta dish, you don’t get a side. If I get a meat entree, I’m getting a side of pasta and it’s the best of both worlds. If they offered me a little piece of meat as a side to pasta, I’d probably order it more.

-We’ve reached the time of year where every single second that I spend outside, I’m just wishing that I was inside. And that’s how I know we’re officially in the winter.

-There’s nothing worse than a relationship overestimater. What I mean by that is someone who consistently overestimates what their actual relationship is with a person. It could be someone who thinks you’re really good friends, when you’re just merely acquaintances. Or what’s really embarrassing is when they’ll say things like “Oh yeah I really know the waiter here, he’ll hook us up” or “Oh all the Starbucks baristas here know me. They always have my order read” or “Oh the worker at this deli knows me well. I’m here all the time.” And they try to brag about it, but in reality, they’re just like an average customer to these places. If you’re going to brag about a relationship like that, they better really roll out the red carpet otherwise it’s very embarrassing.

-Getting in an Uber with someone when it’s on their account kind of feels like being a guest at someone’s house. You want to be on your best behavior and not hurt their passenger rating at all, much like if you make a mess at someone’s house or something, you feel bad about it, but also at the same time, there’s a part of you that feels like “Well, at least that’s not really MY problem.” It’s not my house to clean up or my Uber passenger rating taking a hit.

-We’ve officially reached a point where if someone put a gun to your head and asked you, “Does Tommy Smokes have a goatee? Tell me the truth or I kill you” which is a very realistic scenario that could definitely happen, you would have to say yes. It might not be a full beard yet, but there is a noticeable amount of hair on my chin. The problem is, if I can break character for a second here, is that when I meet someone who doesn’t know me, I feel like I have to explain to them that what’s happening on my face is really just a bit. Like if I meet a girl at a bar or something, I need to acknowledge it like “Hey, I just need you to know, that I know, this looks bad. I don’t want you silently judging me thinking that I think this looks good. I know how it looks. I really just wanted to make a few TikToks about it.” I need other people to know that I’m in on it.