Serena Kerrigan is in the building, and she has a book, a boyfriend, and approximately 600 men worth of dating experience to draw from. We cover all of it.

We get into why wanting a relationship has somehow become embarrassing, why the talking stage is ruining everything, and why butterflies might actually be a red flag. Serena makes the case for rebranding dating as fun — and explains why the women who stop trying so hard are always the ones who find someone. We also get into first date etiquette (drinks, not dinner, and definitely not Nobu), why sex on the first date almost always leads to spiraling, and what it actually means to let yourself be pursued without losing your edge.

Her book Let's Fcking Date is out September 22nd.

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Okay, hear us out...

Erin's not here this week. So naturally Abe brought in a very special guest: Claude. Yeah, the AI. We're honestly just suprised it took him this long to do it.

Together, they cover AI relationships, consciousness, mortality, the three things quietly killing most marriages, and whether presence can survive the attention economy. It's a philosophy episode disguised as something weirder.

We know. Just trust us on this one.

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We're recording this one from the Maidstone in East Hampton, which means we're relaxed, slightly sleep-deprived, and ready to get into it.

The topic: scorekeeping in relationships — what it actually looks like, why it's so easy to fall into, and how defensiveness is basically its evil twin. We get into the detail-oriented partner debate (Erin has thoughts, Abe has counterpoints, neither fully wins), why how you ask for help matters as much as asking for it, and what it actually means to operate as a unit instead of two people keeping tabs.

We also go on a tangent about the algorithm, cancel culture, comment section wars, and why people who curse at old ladies in their cars are the same people saying unhinged things online. It made sense in the moment. Enjoy!

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It's just Erin today, and I've got a lot to say.

You sent in your marriage questions and I'm answering all of them — unfiltered, no notes, no Abe to interrupt me. We get into the biggest lesson marriage has actually taught me, how to know when a relationship is worth fighting for versus when to walk away, and whether love is enough. (The answer is complicated.)

Also: why I don't think happy couples fight less, why intimacy can't be optional, what it actually means to reconnect after a big argument, and why you should absolutely be paying attention to how your partner treats their mother.

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We get into the husband habits that need to be addressed (loud chewing is a crime, dental hygiene is private), why Erin didn't change her name for 11 years and what finally made her do it, and the sorority hazing story that has genuinely never come up before. It involves rotten eggs, a basement, and something we're not going to explain further. You'll have to listen.

We also revisit the chase — why playing it a little cool still works, why over-texting kills the vibe even when you're married, and why some version of mystery is just always gonna be hot. Plus: House of the Dragon, the Rothschilds, and whether two people in a relationship can both be shopaholics. (They cannot.)

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We've been wanting to have Dr. Shefali on for a while, and this conversation did not disappoint. She's a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and one of the most clear-eyed people we've heard talk about what's actually happening to this generation of kids — and what parents can do about it.

We get into the crisis of masculinity and why boys are being pathologized for being boys, the war on girls' authenticity, and why the algorithm is essentially raising our children whether we like it or not. She also gets into conscious parenting, the difference between controlling your kid and connecting with them, and why boredom is one of the greatest gifts you can give a child right now.

There's a moment in here where she says, "Wake the f up." She means it. So do we.

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We've been getting real estate questions forever, so here it is — the full story, from the 670K railroad-adjacent apartment in Hell's Kitchen to the Bushwick two-family we bought off a construction frame, to the Hamptons house nobody wanted because grandma had wallpapered every single room.

We walk through every flip, every 1031 exchange, every moment we almost overcomplicated it, and what we actually learned. The big takeaway: stop buying real estate for yourself. Buy it for the market you're eventually selling to.

We also get into why renting your city apartment is not the flex people think it is, why a dump with good bones will always beat a pretty property with bad ones, and what we just picked up upstate — four acres on a creek for reasons that will make sense once we explain it.

None of this is legal or tax advice. But it is everything we know.

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Special Edition: We're recording this one from Baha Mar, which sounds glamorous until you factor in four kids, an early flight, a sleepover the night before, and a baby who definitely didn't nap enough.

We talk about the wellness industrial complex and why all the cold plunges and sleep scores might actually be making you more stressed, not less. Then we get into what's actually worked — cooking at home, heavy weights, and the gamified abusive AI coach Abe built for himself that calls him a fat piece of shit if he skips the gym. It's a whole thing.

And then it goes somewhere unexpected. We end up talking about grief, losing a parent, and that strange moment on the other side of it where you feel both older and somehow freer. Abe talks about meeting his dad on his journey. We didn't plan to go there, but we did.

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We've been thinking a lot about what it actually means to raise a daughter — and this week we go there. Erin gets into how her relationship with her dad shaped everything: her confidence, her career, the reason no man has ever made her feel small. Abe gets into the pressure of getting it right with Layla, and why making her feel safe being herself is the whole job.

We also get into the patriarchy, which we don't fully agree on. Surprising to no one.

Then we debut a new segment: things that annoy us. Slow walkers who stop in the middle of the sidewalk, over-apologizing in texts, couples who call each other baby (Abe has a theory about this and it's unhinged), and the long birthday post that is actually a red flag. You'll know exactly what we mean.

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Gabriella Pomari is a divorce lawyer from Australia who got so tired of watching families break from the process that she built an entire platform to help couples before they ever need her. We loved her.

We get into the patterns she sees over and over — silent quitting, the invisible load, what it actually means when you stop wanting to share your news with your partner first. She breaks down her four pillars of communication, why the pause is more powerful than winning the argument, and how to ask your partner for space without them thinking you're blowing everything up.

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