By Jessica Chivers
Feeling shaky after maternity or another long leave from work? COMEBACK COACH is the wobbly-bottomed podcast about kickass comebacks with coaching psychologist and author, Jessica Chivers. She’s ex
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The podcast currently has 89 episodes available.
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Hello Bright Minds, I hope you’re on good form and by the end of this episode got a better sense of how you can help yourself find focus, sustain your attention and experience traction. I'm Jessica Chivers, a coaching psychologist, author and developer of the Comeback Community employee experience, of which this podcast is a part.
The idea for this episode has been stirring in mind for some time because focus is a frequent source of conversation with coachees who are returning to work from maternity leave with less time on their hands than they had pre-baby. If you’re not a new parent or a parent at all I think you’ll get plenty from listening to the psychology and my personal hacks that I’m going to share with you.
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Hello Bright Minds, I'm inspired to bring you this episode as I've been invited to be part of a 'Human Library' at CIPD's Festival of Work where my title is "How to not burnout as a parent of a neurodiverse or challenge child." Journaling or 'free-writing' as a I call it has been one of my consistently useful coping tools, especially over the last two years, and I'll be talking about that.
I'm talking you through the science of a very specific journaling protocol that has a very significant evidence base in the academic research literature. It was developed by Professor James Pennebaker in 1986.
Here are the links I mention in the episode:
Caremail: https://www.subscribepage.com/comebackcommunity
Huberman Lab podcast 20/11/23 A Science-Supported Journaling Protocol to Improve Mental & Physical Health: https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/a-science-supported-journaling-protocol-to-improve-mental-physical-health
Professor James Pennebaker research: https://liberalarts.utexas.edu/psychology/faculty/pennebak
Emotional and physical health benefits of expressive writing (summary of research findings) by Baikie & Wilhelm (2018) published in Advances of Psychiatric Treatment: https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/advances-in-psychiatric-treatment/article/emotional-and-physical-health-benefits-of-expressive-writing/ED2976A61F5DE56B46F07A1CE9EA9F9F
Therapist Uncensored podcast episode 225 with James Pennebaker: https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/neuroscience-proven-writing-protocol-james-pennebaker-225/
Opening Up by Writing It Down: How Expressive Writing Improves Health and Eases Emotional Pain: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01GK5817W/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
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Hello Bright Minds, at the end of 2023 I read about a landmark legal victory for a former Avon Fire and Rescue Service employee, Sasha Acheson, who won her sex discrimination case against the organisation. Reading that piece got me curious about the experiences of female firefighters after they’ve notified their employer that they’re pregnant; what it’s like to have to shift from active frontline duty to something else and what it’s like to return to an environment where you may not have a single colleague near you who understands what you’ve been through.
My guest today is NOT that former employee but a Emma Young, a female firefighter who has a lot to say about what it’s like to be a pregnant woman in the fire service. Emma has a 15 month old daughter and she’s currently pregnant with her second, a pregnancy that she found out about just as she was returning from maternity leave.
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Hello Bright Minds, my guest coachee today is Sabeha, a first time mother based in London who has returned to work for a Californian tech company. It's a conversation about the tension that exists within us when we want to give more to work and also be present at home - and the specific challenge of working for a US organisation who comes online as your working day is drawing to a close.
In this coaching session we explore:
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Hello Bright Minds, my guest today is Yvette Bramley, a woman who describes herself as a full time mum and part time business psychologist. She works with the Quality Team at Lexxic, a specialist psychological consultancy and the focus of her role is ensuring the quality their delivery and reports through training, audits, spot checks and actioning client feedback. She proudly tole me after we’d chatted that was she was always a “weird” kid growing up and hopes she continues being the weird one. She also told me – and I quote:
"Patience does not come naturally to me and I am a control “freak” but it works for my family. However, my daughter has taught me to be more relaxed and spontaneous. I no longer live life focusing on the next qualification or physical achievement. I now live to have fun and experience as much joy daily as possible".
Yvette is my most energetic guest yet and you’re going to hear about:
COMEBACK COACH is part of a broader package of support that we call the Comeback Community employee experience. It’s a blend of online resources, coaching, live expert Q&As, career development tools and line manager support that we deliver in organisations such as ITV, Lily’s Kitchen, GAM Investments, Federated Hermes, Veolia and more. Find out more and help us start a conversation with your HR team at www.comebackcommunity.co.uk/introduce.
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This short “JUST JESSICA EPISODE” is about managing rumination, how to keep healthy habits going when you’re consumed by work and the psychology of mindful meditation. It’s inspired by a particular coaching conversation I had one Tuesday a few weeks ago. I put these episodes together myself without the lovely Chris cleaning up bumps in the sound or adding in the swanky intro and outro and I hope you get something from it. If you do I’d love it if you shared it with someone else who you think might like it too.
Click here for "DAILY CHECK-IN" tool you can download and print for your wellbeing.
The meditation mantras I mentioned in this episode:
Hummee Hum – The Other is you by Mirabai Cieba (12 mins) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CFI0hslXv8
Ramadasa by Satkirin Kaur Khalsa (12 mins)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrVewRvqNrE
The article I mentioned about meditation and the DMN on the Mindfulness Association’s website: https://www.mindfulnessassociation.net/science-of-mindfulness/meditation-and-the-default-mode-network/
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Hello Bright Minds, this is a very different episode to anything I’ve done before. Brian is a chap whose energy, openness and actions around supporting fathers I’ve admired on LinkedIn for quite some time. Throughout the time Brian and I have been in each others’ orbits he’s worked for Amazon as a Program Manager in Luxembourg, whilst also training to be a coach. In June last year (2023) I spotted a very candid post from Brian about expecting to be made redundant so I got in touch to offer my condolences and to tell him how much I liked reading what he was writing about what he was anticipating and we started swapping voice notes. I do love a voice note!
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Hello Bright Minds, my guest today is Michaela Thomas, a clinical psychologist I’ve been really looking forward to chatting to because we’ve been batting voice notes back and forth for about a year and then I heard Michaela on a podcast I’ve been lapping up over the last 9 months (Kate Moryousef's ADHD WOMEN'S WELLBEING) that was the galvanising stroke to get Michaela on.
I originally wanted to have a chat with Michaela about how to keep partner/spousal relationships feeling good once you have a baby and go back to work and the pressure ramps up drawing upon her own lived experience as well as her professional insight. She’s the author of a book called The Lasting Connection – which is about developing compassion for yourself and your partner - and has a podcast called Pause Purpose Play. I’ve since learned that Michaela also has a special interest in perfectionism and she has an ADHD brain and is starting to do more work in that area too. Given my recent diagnosis of ADHD and our growing interest in neurodiversity as a coaching team my mind I thought wow, let’s get Michaela on to talk about her return to work and all of these things. So, you have an extra long episode today because there’s so much I wanted to chat to her about.
If you like what you hear from Michaela then you can find her on Instagram @the_thomas_connection and Facebook @TheThomasConnection.
**Michaela is going to be joining me on Tuesday 21st May 2024 12 NOON for a live Q&A on HOW TO LIVE & WORK WELL WITH AN ANXIOUS MIND AND OTHER MENTAL HEALTH CHALLENGES. The Q&A is part of the Comeback Community employee experience programme and once our clients have had first dibs we open spare spots to all absolutely free**.
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Hello Bright Minds, my guest today is Lianne Baker, Head of People & Culture at Enfuse who had surprise baby number three last year and we caught up at the end of her five month maternity leave. Lianne is an award-winning People professional with over 15 years’ experience working within TV for Endemol, publishing for Condé Nast, recruitment, hospitality and now for Enfuse, a digital transformation management consultancy. Since joining Enfuse Group, she has been focused on culture and engagement, bringing in forward thinking and inclusive policies. Enfuse Group is recognised as a Great Place to Work, Top 5 Best Companies and best new Management Consultancy at the MCA Awards.
Lianne has previously spoken up about the importance of flexible working to enable parents to parent as well as have a career in addition to writing various articles of managing IVF and Fertility treatment alongside work.
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Hello Bright Minds, my guest today is Ros Kwok, a woman I was introduced to after asking one of the wonderful Partners at our past podcast sponsor, Rayden Solicitors if she had a client who had had to return to work due to a change in financial circumstances following divorce. Thank you Emily Watson for coming up trumps in less than 24 hours! And you’ll also hear from Emily at the end of the episode where we talk through several questions about divorce, spousal maintenance and arbitration.
**LINK TO "MOTHERS WALK" on 8/3/24 for International Women's Day**
Ros is originally from Singapore and came to study in the UK. She became a stay at home mum after she had children and when her youngest went to nursery she took a part time job in a nursery and after four years became a freelance photographer. When the divorce happened she was told to get a proper job, was forced to sell all of her photography equipment and then made 50 applications for jobs, and got only one interview. That interview was with John Lewis – I love JLP sooooo much – but even that didn’t work out. Fast forward to today and Ros IS working for John Lewis and she’s worked her way from an entry level role to being a fashion merchandiser and instagmmer for JLP.
Today Ros is thriving and this episode talks about how she got there. I think many employers are recognising just how destabilising any big life can be for their people and divorce is right up there. If you’re going through divorce or it’s on your mind I’m sending you all the love because I know how hellish it can be. I’m a child of divorced parents and I have people around me going through divorce at the moment. To you all I send love and hope, more of which at the end of the episode.
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