A birthday poem for Neno, I call it Black Rod because for the first time in Britain's Parliamentary history this position of spiritual and temporal power has been handed over to a woman the willow may look soft and gentle but inside lies a heart of oak stronger than a yard arm of English oak .

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A poem about an old rag and bone man who started out with just a horse and cart then after a life of skinflinting strife became very rich but even after acquiring weath still retained his beggar man roots and rhetoric.

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A poem for supertramp who had a unique way of curing his halitosis by drinking your aftershave as well as the rest of your bathroom cabinet dry. Beware beware of the ambre solaire .

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The Mustang Men were Wild tameless stallions with sports cars suntans and gold medallions , once they were war faced warriors now they're warfarin worries they part of the night time disco scene , now they're scared of cottage pie and cholesterol cream .

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Every day the paparazzi serve us our blood and gore all freshly sacrificed red and raw no good being a herb eating herbivore what you've really got to be is a cover story carnivore with the stomach of a blood thirsty toreador let's face it the press room's a slaughtermans stable and the editor's desk is nothing more than a butcher's table.

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A preacher man told to me that all of us come pre packaged with the seven shades of sin which are basically our primitive seven instincts of survival that we needed whilst hunter gathering on the savage African Savannah through evolution and ecclesiastical endeavours we have been trying to adapt our mammalian species to a more sacred sentient state of being ever since .

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A poem for a dear friend of mine who's charismatic appeal with women is so legendary that it led to him receiving a pseudonym of The Valley Drive Lady Killer even whilst laid on the surgeons slab awaiting a serious operation he was still able to twirl the attention of a young nurse who was at the time wet shaving him of all body hair ready for his open heart surgery.

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Prostitution is one of the oldest professions in the world which was here before the four angels of Samuel it's about time the government took control of this sexual slavery let's face facts  the chancellor's been selling cigarettes and booze for hundred of years they're both forms of narcotics best not allow the criminals any room to manoeuvre best to take over all their operations Save the girls any more torture legalise this profession too .

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Treachery and treason never go out of season the gunpowder plot was the spy master's crowning piece of glory he'd managed to use the plot to catapult James the 1st from being a doomed king guaranteed to be assassinated into a national hero who united both Scotland and England into the union of Crowns a feat never before thought possible all by engineering a plot that was in its early stages and failing untill as an agent provocateur he coaxed it into a piece of political theatre using his mediaeval Machiavellian genius , Robert Cecil 1st earl of Salisbury was known by Elizabeth as the pygmy and by James the ist as his little beagle ,he also thwarted the Pope's attempts at a Catholic conversion .

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Upon seeing a cold cadaver staring back people begin to timidly tread in fear of the dead circling round as though it be some spectral apparition of dread .

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