Coming Out Late

In this episode, Robin sits down with fellow firefly late bloomer, Lori, to talk about her long journey from being in the closet, to a 5-year lesbian relationship at 17 years old, (that lasted FIVE years!), to going back in the closet for 30+ more years. Lori was married to a man for 27-years and is blessed with one daughter. Along the journey, Lori manages to ‘find herself’ and walk through the open doors that people invited her to walk though. Through the conversation, Robin & Lori talk about the depth of growth we experience when we come out later, (we were both in our 50’s when we came out), the necessity of UN-learning SO many ‘things’, and how do we go about re-building our lives once we finally do come out!

In this episode, you will learn…

• The importance of reflecting back on all our growth and milestones so far
• The critical necessity of UN-learning SO much of what we’d been conditioned to think, feel and do!
• Unpacking the suitcase of our lives, and getting to decide this time, what stays, what goes, and what gets donated to a worthy cause! (Lol).
• Ask yourself, “What have I always wanted to do that I’ve never done before?”
• The Talking Stone: let your secrets out - they will set you free!
• To get the $27 Early Bird Price for the WLW Speaker Summit #2 (June 26, 2022), email Robin at: [email protected]
• To join a Women Loving Women Support Group, email Robin at: [email protected]

Links to resources:

Please consider supporting my podcast efforts by 'buying me a coffee' as a sign of appreciation? Any and all caffeine donations are deeply, deeply appreciated!!  Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

Robin is launching a new, safe ‘n secure Community for all women who love women in Circle.so. This new paid membership community will be officially launching June 2022

Join our private FB Group: Coming Out Late Community at: www.facebook.com/groups/comingoutlatecommunity/

Want to come to a nighttime WOMEN LOVING WOMEN support group? Or, a daytime WOMEN HELPING WOMEN support group? Email me a request for the Zoom ID & PW’s to: [email protected]

Resources mentioned in this podcast include:

The “Lesbian Chronicles” podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life/id1468550568?i=1000563115527

“Making Gay History” podcast by Eric Marcus: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/making-gay-history-lgbtq-oral-histories-from-the-archive/id1162447122

Book: “Game Changers: Lesbians You Should Know”, by Robin Lowey, Go to: www.lesbiangamechangers.com

For more Gay History, check out Youtuber: Kathy Baldock Visit: www.CanyonWalkerConnections.com for insights into the intersection between faith and sexual orientation and gender!

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In this episode, Robin reminds us of the significance and importance of us not only hearing other women’s coming out stories, but also telling our own. We grow, we learn and we heal every time we share or hear coming out late stories. Robin reads to us the story of one particular woman who can recall always being attracted to women for as long as she could remember - but knew she had to suppress those thoughts and feelings. (Thank you social norms and comphet!) After being married to a man, and hitting 40-years old, she made a promise to herself that the second half of her life was going to be on her terms. After that inspiring story, Robin also talks about the rate or speed at which you should proceed on your journey of coming out.  And, at the end of this episode, Robin will share with us the responses from a variety of late bloomers, to this statement: “My first kiss with a woman was…”!

In this episode, you will learn…

• How do we find ourselves and live in our truth?
• Going from three kids and 2 marriages to men later - how one woman went from miserable, depressed, angry and anxious to flourishing in life!
• Manifesting the things we’ve always wanted by NOT living a life that other people want and expect from us.
• To get the $27 Early Bird Price for the WLW Speaker Summit #2 (June 26, 2022), email Robin at: [email protected]
• To join a Women Loving Women Support Group, email Robin at: [email protected]
• WLW Retreat October 10-16, 2022 - Provincetown, MA - “Women’s Week”

Links to resources:

Please consider supporting my podcast efforts by 'buying me a coffee' as a sign of appreciation? Any and all caffeine donations are deeply, deeply appreciated!!  Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

Robin is launching a new, safe ‘n secure Community for all women who love women in Circle.so. This new paid membership community will be officially launching June 1, 2022

Join our private FB Group: Coming Out Late Community at: www.facebook.com/groups/comingoutlatecommunity/

Want to come to a nighttime WOMEN LOVING WOMEN support group? Or, a daytime WOMEN HELPING WOMEN support group? Email me a request for the Zoom ID & PW’s to: [email protected]

Julia Ruiz Hoffman and her Bloomer’s Society can be found at: www.bloomerssociety.com

Support the show

Robin addresses two important topics that arise from our Coming Out Late journey: first, navigating our first, or first couple-of queer relationships. After the trauma has subsided, what can we do to ensure our next relationship will be 10x better than the last? And, second, Robin shares with us some examples of responses the husbands, partners or significant others say to us when we come ‘out’ to them for the first time. Some are simply unbelievable, while others are unthinkable and unacceptable! In addition to covering these two important topics, Robin also shares with us two very meaningful quotes that we ALL need to remember and embrace!

In this episode, you will learn…

• Some of the differences between being in a relationship with a late blooming lesbian versus a woman who has been out and lesbian her whole life. BOTH types of women are coming at it from (at least) two very distinct places in life.
• There are certainly pros and cons to dating a late bloominglesbian and a lifelong lesbian. Somehow, we manage to make these relationships work - or not! What to look out for and how to stand your ground!
• That the end of our first-, or first-couple of queer relationships can be gut-wrenching; but there are PLENTY of ‘things’ we can we learn from them.
• Recognizing ‘red flags’ in relationships and what to do about them.
• Co-Dependency: What is it? Do I have it? And what can I do about it?
• Robin is starting a brand new Women Loving Women (paid subscription) Membership Community in Circle.so in JUNE! Happy PRIDE everyone! It promises to be chock full of inspiration, support, enlightenment, education, and FUN!
• What to expect when we tell our significant others/partners/husbands that we’re gay? You won’t believe some of their responses!!
• To join a Women Loving Women Support Group, email Robin at: [email protected]
• WLW Retreat October 10-16, 2022 - Provincetown, MA - “Women’s Week”

Links to resources:

Please consider supporting my podcast efforts by 'buying me a coffee' as a sign of appreciation? Any and all caffeine donations are deeply, deeply appreciated!!  Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

Robin is launching a new, safe ‘n secure Community for all women who love women in Circle.so. This new paid membership community will be officially launching June 1, 2022

Join our private FB Group: Coming Out Late Community at: www.facebook.com/groups/comingoutlatecommunity/

Want to come to a nighttime WOMEN LOVING WOMEN support group? Or, a daytime WOMEN HELPING WOMEN support group? Email me a request for the Zoom ID & PW’s to: [email protected]

Support the show

Robin addresses a recent post written by a woman coming out later in life - in fact - she just came out at the age of 57! Robin highlights the small-, medium- and large-hurdles that we, at ANY age are likely to face during our coming out late journey. In addition to reading and sharing this very vulnerable and relatable post, Robin also shares the compassionate and encouraging responses the author of the post received.

In this episode, you will learn…

• This Coming Out Late stuff is TOUGH! It is NOT an easy journey. But it IS worth it - I promise!
• In addition to the healing properties of hearing other women’s coming out late stories, SHARING our own stories can be incredibly healing as well.
• Navigating our new identities as lesbian or queer or bi is really tough.
• That it’s normal to feel awkward and unsure of ourselves in this process.
• A few helpful books/resources she read that helped her.
• What decisions need to be made once you tell your significant other that you are coming out as ‘not-straight’.
• Am I a baby-gay or an imposter?
• WLW Retreat October 10-16, 2022 - Provincetown, MA - “Women’s Week” 

Links to resources:

Please consider supporting my podcast efforts by 'buying me a coffee' as a sign of appreciation? Any and all caffeine donations are deeply, deeply appreciated!!  Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

Robin is launching a new, safe ‘n secure Community for all women who love women in Circle.so. This new paid membership community will be officially launching June 1, 2022

Join our private FB Group: Coming Out Late Community at: www.facebook.com/groups/comingoutlatecommunity/

Want to come to a nighttime WOMEN LOVING WOMEN support group? Or, a daytime WOMEN HELPING WOMEN support group? Email me a request for the Zoom ID & PW’s to: [email protected]

RESOURCES: “Dear John, I Love Jane: Women Write About Leaving Men for Women”, Author: Candace Walsh. “Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love & Desire”, Author: Lisa M. Diamond

Julia Ruiz Hoffman, MA, MFT, Counselor & Coach. Founder of Bloomers Society. www.bloomerssociety.com

Support the show

Robin shares a beautiful reminder that good things are possible and your life will work out no matter when you decide to come out…

In this episode, you will learn…

• Reflecting on three years post coming out, post moving out, post freaking out
• Encouragement to feel all your feelings and do the work vs. push emotions down
• Understanding it all works out and that how it works out looks different for everyone
• Details about Julia Ruiz Hoffman’s Bloomer’s Society and coaching services 

Links to resources:

If you've been enjoying my podcast, won't you please consider supporting my podcast efforts by 'buying me a coffee' as a sign of appreciation? Any and all caffeine donations are deeply, deeply appreciated!! Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

Robin coaches women coming out late in life in small group sessions AND 1:1. Email her to book your first session: [email protected].

Join our private FB Group: Coming Out Late Community at: www.facebook.com/groups/comingoutlatecommunity/

Want to come to a WOMEN LOVING WOMEN support group? Email me "WLW" to: [email protected] and I will send you the Zoom ID & PW / Link.

I mentioned and highly recommend Julia Ruiz Hoffman, MA, MFT, Counselor and Coach for women coming out later in life. Julia specializes in sexual awareness, divorce guidance & co-parenting coaching, issues with young children and straight spouse support. Julia and her new website can be found at: www.bloomerssociety.com

Support the show

Robin addresses a recent post about fears surrounding being married and questioning your sexuality and why open lines of communication, honesty, and courage are key to exploring who you are…

In this episode, you will learn…

• Coming out doesn’t mean everything about your life must change instantly
• Remember you can be courageous or you can be comfortable—you can’t be both
• Fear is a killer: Ask for time, communication, and soul searching
• Don’t stay for the wrong reasons and don’t leave for the wrong reasons
• The importance of listening to your body and understanding we can’t be afraid of what we don’t know
• Advice to find a therapist and to be fully transparent and trust they can help you
• All relationships require nurturing—don’t settle for something unfulfilling
• It takes courage as well as permission to find out who you are 

Links to resources:

If you weren't able to attend the Women Loving Women Speaker Summit? You can purchase a copy of the audio recording for $27 by emailing Robin the word "AUDIO" to [email protected].

If you've been enjoying my podcast, won't you please consider supporting my podcast efforts by 'buying me a coffee' as a sign of appreciation? Any and all caffeine donations are deeply, deeply appreciated!! Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

Robin coaches women coming out late in life in small group sessions AND 1:1. Email her to book your first session: [email protected].

Join our private FB Group: Coming Out Late Community at: www.facebook.com/groups/comingoutlatecommunity/

Want to come to a WOMEN LOVING WOMEN support group? Email me "WLW" to: [email protected] and I will send you the Zoom ID & PW / Link.

I mentioned and highly recommend a superb queer coach and counselor - Samantha Fox:

Website: https://www.curiousquestioningandcomingout.com

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lesbiancuriositycoach

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/curiousquestioningcomingout/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCugZWOUuPKEtdXQndioSbYQ

Support the show

Robin explores the idea of change and what change means for us on our coming out journey. She talks about social conditioning as it relates to how we formed our roles in life and how we have lived our whole lives under social conditioning. Robin asks the question — how do we go about living our lives now, and how do we embrace change? She also shares some quotes about change, growth, life, and strength.

In this episode, you will learn…

• About the value of joining Robin's Women Loving Women and Women Helping Women weekly support groups on zoom.
• Ways to purchase the recording of the Women Loving Women summit held on March 30, in case you missed it.
• Staying in a space that is safe, familiar, and comfortable is not necessarily 'living'.
• Learning to come out of your comfort zone and embrace change.
• Living life as an adventure and being true to yourself, so you can thrive, not just survive.
• The need to address and expose homophobia, social conditioning, and heteronormativity if we want to see less of it.
• Personal growth is not a matter of learning new information but of unlearning old limits.
• Change is inevitable, but there are also opportunities for growth and progress.   

Links to resources:

Weren't able to attend the Women Loving Women Speaker Summit? You can purchase a copy of the audio recording for $27 by emailing Robin the word "AUDIO" to [email protected]. 

If you've been enjoying my podcast, won't you please consider supporting my podcast efforts by 'buying me a coffee' as a sign of appreciation? Any and all caffeine donations are deeply, deeply appreciated!! Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

Robin coaches women coming out late in life in small group sessions AND 1:1. Email her to book your first session: [email protected].

Join our private FB Group: Coming Out Late Community at: www.facebook.com/groups/comingoutlatecommunity/

Want to come to a WOMEN LOVING WOMEN support group? Email me "WLW" to: [email protected] and I will send you the Zoom ID & PW / Link.

Support the show

Robin talks with Holly and JJ about what it means to be transgender, the challenges of navigating relationships and gender reassignment, and why being honest with yourself and embracing who you are should always come first.

In this episode, you will learn…

• Holly’s experience of feeling like a prisoner in her body and what it means to be transgender
• The importance of a supportive and accepting environment for transgender children
• Being in a double-closet and underdressing to alleviate pain of gender dysphoria
• Understanding which terms represent gender identity
• Holly’s heterosexual relationships and feeling like an imposter
• What it was like for Holly to finally come out as transgender at age 50
• Gender reassignment and gender affirmation surgeries
• Reflecting on coming out: Don’t worry about the reaction of others, fear manifests in many ways, don’t try to hide it because it’s not going to change
• Encouragement to be open to possibilities when it comes to your sexuality
• The joy of transitioning and being accepted for who you truly are
• The importance of being upfront about your identity after you come out
• Advice for those worried about coming out to lean into your authentic self
• Everybody’s body is different, medical support is crucial for your transition journey  

Links to resources:

JJ (Jessica Jarrard), Licensed Mental Health Counselor. Owner of Rainbow Counseling & Consultation, a group private practice serving the LGBTQ community. www.rainbowcounselingservices.com

I have recently set-up a "Buy Me A Coffee" account to help me defray the costs of producing my "Coming Out Late" podcast! If you've been enjoying my podcast, won't you please consider 'buying me a coffee' as a sign of appreciation? Any and all caffeine donations are deeply, deeply appreciated!!

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

Robin coaches women coming out late in life in small group sessions AND 1:1. Email her to book your first session: [email protected].

Join our private FB Group: Coming Out Late Community at: www.facebook.com/groups/comingoutlatecommunity/

Want to come to a WOMEN LOVING WOMEN support group? Email me "WLW" to: [email protected] and I will send you the Zoom ID & PW / Link.

Support the show

Robin addresses the common confusion many feel after coming out late and reminds us why it’s never too late to live a life full of love, authenticity, and support…

In this episode, you will learn…

• Encouragement to attend the Women Loving Women weekly meetings and upcoming Speaker Summit on March 30th
• Coming out late doesn’t negate your previous heteronormative life or relationships
• Recognizing what it’s like having a supportive spouse you don’t want to hurt
• We’re not on this earth to be mediocre; we’re meant to have adventures and love our lives and love ourselves
• Understanding what other people think and feel about us in none of our business
• Put yourself first and know your family can be configured however you want it
• Suggestions for getting help via support groups and therapists or coaches
• Coming out late isn’t wrong; you’re going to feel pain and guilt so make your apologies and move on

Links to resources:

Register to attend the Women Loving Women Speaker Summit on March 30th. FIVE LGBTQ+ Coaches and Counselors will be speaking with us about all-things coming out and being gay and how to handle the stress and anxiety of it all! Can't attend? You can reserve a copy of the audio recording for $27 by emailing Robin the word "AUDIO" to [email protected]. If you CAN attend, here is the Link to Register: https://calendly.com/womenlovingwomen/women-loving-women-speaker-summit

I have recently set-up a "Buy Me A Coffee" account to help me defray the costs of producing my "Coming Out Late" podcast! If you've been enjoying my podcast, won't you please consider 'buying me a coffee' as a sign of appreciation? Any and all caffeine donations are deeply, deeply appreciated!!

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

Robin coaches women coming out late in life in small group sessions AND 1:1. Email her to book your first session: [email protected].

Join our private FB Group: Coming Out Late Community at: www.facebook.com/groups/comingoutlatecommunity/

Want to come to a WOMEN LOVING WOMEN support group? Email me "WLW" to: [email protected] and I will send you the Zoom ID & PW / Link.

Support the show

Sexuality Coach and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Samantha Fox speaks with Robin about her coming out late journey, helpful advice for managing family challenges after coming out, and why it’s okay to be curious about your sexuality.

In this episode, you will learn…

• Samantha’s experience of coming out late at the age of 32 in 2002
• How 9/11 prepared Samantha for her coming out late catalyst
• Being in the best place you can ever be while being in the worst place you can be
• Advice for managing emotions and relationships when you don’t get to see your kids every day after coming out
• Life after divorce: Going back to school, finding her tribe, and dating challenges
• How shared experiences can help you feel less threatened
• Addressing the shame, guilt, and anxiety of coming out late
• How curiosity can help break the chains of compulsory heterosexuality
• Recognizing we are born with seven core emotions, including sexual excitement
• Letting yourself be curious and understanding every journey is different
• Details about Samantha’s coaching programs 

Connect with my Guest, Samantha Fox:

Website: https://www.curiousquestioningandcomingout.com

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lesbiancuriositycoach

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/curiousquestioningcomingout/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCugZWOUuPKEtdXQndioSbYQ

Links to resources:

Register to attend the Women Loving Women Speaker Summit on March 30th. FIVE LGBTQ+ Coaches and Counselors will be speaking with us about all-things coming out and being gay and how to handle the stress and anxiety of it all! Can't attend? You can reserve a copy of the audio recording for $27 by emailing Robin the word "AUDIO" to [email protected]. If you CAN attend, here is the Link to Register: https://calendly.com/womenlovingwomen/women-loving-women-speaker-summit

I have recently set-up a "Buy Me A Coffee" account to help me defray the costs of producing my "Coming Out Late" podcast! If you've been enjoying my podcast, won't you please consider 'buying me a coffee' as a sign of appreciation? Any and all caffeine donations are deeply, deeply appreciated!!

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

Robin coaches women coming out late in life in small group sessions AND 1:1. Email her to book your first session: [email protected].

Join our private FB Group: Coming Out Late Community at: www.facebook.com/groups/comingoutlatecommunity/

Want to come to a WOMEN LOVING WOMEN support group? Email me "WLW" to: [email protected] and I will send you the Zoom ID & PW / Link.

Support the show