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This week begins by making sure everyone understands that our ‘cast isn’t just for “students” of comedy, but for everyone who enjoys hearing about comedians and the discipline of comedy.

Then we introduce our guest: Ben Whipps!

We discuss how exciting it is that our podcast will always be online and people can listen to current and past episodes for years to come and then that’ll be the future for them, but the past for us. Amazing! We mention gang violence in places like South Central United States and how this violence might not still be happening in the future.

We kick off talking about Whipps’ podcast “Braingasm“. He quickly decides to let both his stand-up and his podcast get destroyed in the holocaust when faced with his own Sophie’s Choice. Yet, he goes on to use science to say we only have one listener as opposed to his few listeners who he seems fairly indifferent toward.

Kevin and Joel breakdown the etymology of the title of Ben’s show. Are they correct? Ben tells them.

Then we touch on the idea of taste, preference. Someone might claim that Adam Sandler is, not unlike Barbra Streisand, the greatest comedy actor, director, producer, writer ever! But other people might say he’s absolutely the most horrendously over-rated, garbage-making idiot around.

A neat sneak peek into the origins of the JK Around podcast name. We discuss our interactions with Dr. Wawz. Interestingly, Ben had the same experience. It felt a lot like the Wizard of Oz, complete with Winged Monkey-type Munchkins. Joel was pretty sure he was a confidence trickster. Ben reveals where the guy went to school! Not Oxford or Harvard… DeVry. It was the Music Man all over again.

We take a risk and talk about the hidden, banned, lost, cursed episode of Braingasm: Bread vs Pie!

Assignment: Tell us how many weeks Braingasm has been doing podcasts and which weeks did they miss?

We talk about co-hosts: Ben’s co-host Chesticka and Joel’s co-host Kevin. Is there romance in the air for either? Of course, Chesticka isn’t at all like Mary Shelley‘s Frankenstein‘s monster. Ben makes that abundantly clear. She is afraid of fire, unlike Mowgli from Jungle Book. And then the cow puns begin. And then the scrapbooking discussion!

Next we explore Ben Whipps’ stand-up comedy stylings. His style of comedy is story-telling, which is a derivative of long-form comedy. Ben does NOT tell jokes!

Then the gang philosophizes about familiarity in our culture. We bring to light the warm embrace of a school shooting to Generation Columbine or Generation C. They feel bad for children who are so used to bullying, shootings in a Clockwork Orange type thing, but now they have to watch the 2014 Sochi Olympics, they feel anxiety. Munich was a good Olympics because it was relate-able, which is why Spielberg made a film about it. Schindler’s List was also a hug of a movie. Thank heavens the gays have been having a hard time during the Olympics this year, it’s familiar!

That transitions flawlessly into our new segment: Give us/me a handle!

The 2nd in our rapid-fire segment episode: What’s the difference between me and you (another comedian)? What’s the difference between Ben Whipps and Zach Galifianakis?

It comes out that Joel had a very dated version of hair removal/facial reconstruction surgery.

And then we do Rob Delaney’s Tweets!

One of my favorite parts of sex is putting my “penis” inside a woman’s yum-slot & wiggling around until I involuntarily moo.

— rob delaney (@robdelaney) February 5, 2014

Assignment: Did Ben read that tweet differently than Joel? Describe how on FaceBook and Twitter!

Finally, they do Comedy Soup!

Take the time to find, like and follow Ben and his podcast online:

Twitter: @braingasmpod, @braingasmben, @ohhsugar (Chesticka)

facebook.com/thebraingasmpodcast

braingasmpodcast.com

And the worst website ever: braingasm.com

Check out our YOUTUBE page, share our podcast clips with your friends!

Subscribe on iTunes!! And RATE and REVIEW us!!

Questions or comments? Email: [email protected]

Our twitter: twitter.com/thejkaround

Facebooker? Like: facebook.com/thejkaround

Kevin the Great’s Blog: http://itskevinthegreatblog.tumblr.com

Have a great week! Class dismissed.

We open the podcast reminding our students about the ongoing, very late Garfield meme assignment. Then we talk about the Sunday funnies and how our government is keeping down the strong liberal and conservative voices of heavy hitters like Doonesbury. But this episode hopes to enlighten the listeners and make them red with passion like Sam Kinison or Satan.

We then introduce our tributee: Jerry Seinfeld! He is the people’s comedian with the Midas touch! They discuss the days of the gold rush, heading down to Texas to get the black gold (Texas tea) and getting their hands dirty (and souls dirty) with black gold.

Of course, Jerry Seinfeld is a huge fan of Superman and actually worked with him on some commercials for Mastercard. Is this a moral choice? Should these two titans be selling themselves to capitalism? It just makes logical sense that if you can do good with comedy, you can do bad with comedy. Kevin cites the Flintstones and the Jetsons being on both polar opposites of that coin.

Early-on assignment: Why are the Jetson’s evil because of technology or why are the Flintstones evil and the Jetson’s are not (in 500 words or less)? On Twitter or Facebook.

So, then it’s revealed that MAYBE Jerry and Superman were doing those commercials to save Lois Lane or something? Maybe the plot was thicker than a simple right or wrong question. It may have been an evil plot designed by Lex Luthorington. Of course, that leads to talking about Jerry Seinfeld’s personal marriage relationship life.

The duo discuss his show Seinfeld and how important that was to bring Jerry’s speech, perspective and jokes onto the couches, into the ears and minds of the world! And it’s made the world a better place. Where Jerry walks, the grass grows. He was asked to leave New York City because of that.

Then they gush for a bit about how great Jerry’s work is. Rocky is the eye of the tiger then Jerry is the eye of the bite (comedy, laugh, funny)!

The conversation turns to the Zach Shade episode in which we mention the Chinese bit of Jerry’s. This is something in the common vernacular like yada yada. Could Jerry have turned his comedy into gold like Rumpelstiltskin turned straw into gold? It started quotidian (aka quoted) and now it’s colloquial. So what’s the value? Has the value been sucked out of it? These are some deep questions the team deal with.

We talk about the Jewish heritage from the holocaust to Jerry being a Moses who lead his people out of Egypt, freed them from Pharaoh and turned the water into blood, sent locusts and then frogs to eat those locusts.

And then we do the “what if” segment! What if Jerry Seinfeld was greed?

Assignment: What if “what if” was actually a thing focused on “what if”? Help us with “what if”. What do you want to hear from the “what if” segment? Give us an example of a good “what if”!

Check out our YOUTUBE page, share our podcast clips with your friends!

Subscribe on iTunes!! And RATE and REVIEW us!!

Questions or comments? Email: [email protected]

Our twitter: twitter.com/thejkaround

Facebooker? Like: facebook.com/thejkaround

Kevin the Great’s Blog: http://itskevinthegreatblog.tumblr.com

Have a great week! Class dismissed.

Today starts off with exposing our rap alter egos: K-Love Flavrum and Joel van Violence.

Then we introduce Mikey Henley! We get straight in to talking about the belt wearers and non-belt wearers of Islam and the Scots (kilts). And then we get on Worldwide Wrestling Federation. Are they competing with Cowboys for biggest belt buckle size (Mikey asks that).

We re-charge our “is comedy a science or art” conversation. Mikey is on the side of science. Kevin seems to agree because he compares comedy to the wonderful science of astrology. Astrology is a great science for getting to know someone, and so is religion. You know where you are with a Sagittarius or Gemini or the lion one or a Taurus or a Feces or an Aquarium.

I like to know what a person’s birthday is because then I can guess what their personality is like based on the stars. #logic #astrology

— Joel van Vliet (@joelvanvliet) December 28, 2013

We talk about Mikey‘s abrasive, embracive comedy! Then Kevin regales us with his story of making Madonna cry, not in Argentina, but in Atlanta. They talk Kabbalah, Lambada, lobotomies.

We finally talk about Mikey’s eclectic entertaining. His chief influence was Andy Kaufman. He might tell stories, be observational or use slapstick, even! He takes pages out of the book of comedy. The team takes the magic out of his “comic strip” bit.

Then we discuss a contest Mikey entered in which he wore underwear to advertise a particular brand of underwear. The host of this contest made fun of him. He told him he should be fatter, because fat is funny.

Then we talk on a new thing: mime comics! But clowns are a lot like that because there’s poor amplification at a circus.

We talk about Mikey’s goatee and how that helps his comedy. It has become his calling card. Kevin enlightens us as to what that means. This obviously spurs a conversation about vampires being the best house guests! They’re also funny like Leslie Nielson in Dracula: Dead and Loving It. They all do a Transylvanian accent.

They discuss calling cards in depth: Andy Kaufman – Blank stare. Aziz Ansari – being brown with a beard, big eyes. Jeff Dunham – blank stare and puppets. Kanye West – being crazy, sunglasses and being unpredictable and not even seeming like a comedian.

Joel shares the story of Sacha Baron Cohen knocking a lady off the stage at BAFTA. He received the Charlie Chaplin (of The Great Dictator) Award. Chaplin was the Teller (Penn and Teller) of the 1930s. Cohen knocked the first female star from Chaplin’s films right off the stage.

The parallel is drawn between that and when Kanye said Taylor Swift didn’t deserve to win that video, but Beyonce should’ve. And every takes that hilarious joke seriously. The whole North West fiasco is a hilarious joke! Add to that the controversial joke of the song: Black Jesus.

Maybe Jesus was white because he was a black man with skin bleached by the sun… like Michael Jackson.

Then we take the magic out of Mikey Henley’s “Slapstick” bit. We discuss if it’s easy to get audience members on stage. Joel wrote a play that opens in an ancient Socrates, Greek chorus play sort of way.

The conversation shifts to Medically Approved Marijuana that Mikey is approved for, medically. What is boggling, is that it will not heal Mikey. That’s the travesty of science! It can put a man on the moon, invade space and give a man a boner, but it can’t heal Mikey’s back. And now he needs to medicate for the REST of HIS LIFE?!! They can even heal baldness with a Chia Pet pill (not true, but a great Henley joke). No one should have to do the equivalent of chemotherapy for the rest of their life.

And then we do Rob Delaney‘s Tweets! Mikey Henley plays Operation with us!

Whenever I exit a public toilet, I make sweaty eye contact with the person waiting & say “Top that, cowboy.”

— rob delaney (@robdelaney) January 13, 2014

The discussion turns to legalizing all drugs and Rob Ford the Prime Minister of Canada. He’s been compared to Chris Farley. He even has a bobblehead. Mikey is champagning Rob Ford for emperor of the drug nation!

Then we do COMEDY SOUP!

They discuss Mikey’s overall style of comedy. Joel gives us a peek into the honing of his craft. Kevin asks Mikey what the craziest curveball that was ever thrown at him. Joel makes sure he understands it’s not screwball comedy: Looney Tunes, Daffy Duck, Shawshank Redemption.

Then they touch on Sick Kidz for Sick Kids. This is a charity that Mikey is a part of which you can check out on Facebook. He’s giving back to the community, he’s literally healing with comedy. They’re on Twitter too!

Check out Mikey Henley on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube!

Check out our YOUTUBE page, share our podcast clips with your friends!

Subscribe on iTunes!! And RATE and REVIEW us!!

Questions or comments? Email: [email protected]

Our twitter: twitter.com/thejkaround

Facebooker? Like: facebook.com/thejkaround

Kevin the Great’s Blog: http://itskevinthegreatblog.tumblr.com

Have a great week! Class dismissed.

This podcast gets off to a great start with us reminding our students what we’re actually doing: taking the magic out of comedy. We take care to remind out listeners that we all could die every day and, most importantly, this year, so make the most of it!

We talk about what comedy is in a few rich metaphors from Lego to Music, citing Brian Wilson and his Sweet Vibrations being not unlike a good joke vibration: Rabbi walks into a bar, type joke.

That brings us to our tributee: Ricky Gervais! A chucklebucket!

We start by discussing how much he laughs constantly on his podcast and in other media. His podcast was so huge, which makes us wonder why our podcast hasn’t reached the Vatican in Rome?

This leads to a discussion about Ricky’s atheist philosophy. We discuss our views about absolutism and relativism and how closed minded Ricky is toward all the various religions, including science. Of course, we talk about the red frogs of the amazon which, Joel explains, may have actually been man-made and have nothing to do with science as seen in the documentary “Unnatural Histories” on the BBC.

We talk about Gervais’ great fame, even greater than He-Man currently.

Joel admits to being an Antagonist and Kevin explains that he’s an omni-theist, which is an expensive undertaking. We talk about the many religions in the Nation: Muslims, Jews, Christians, Children of Q, Children of Slew (based in the Hindu religion). These things are all important for stereotype jokes.

But could Ricky’s religion jokes just be a Sarah Silverman type rip-off which goes against what he even believes? Maybe he’s a subversive Christian. He just drinks, masking his pain and making fun of Karl Pilkington‘s round head.

Ricky Gervais is the Inspector Clouseau of comedy, the character written by Blake Edwards. Joel explains why, as Bugs Bunny says, he’s a maroon. His shows Extras, Derek, Life’s Too Short, stupid twitter pictures, saying stupid things about Mike Birbiglia… he’s a bumbling idiot.

On top of all my other ailments it now turns out I might have hypochondria too. Gutted. pic.twitter.com/AEIuFCi8it

— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) January 15, 2014

But he did do something good: The Office. It’s a story of David Scott working at Wornham Mufflin, selling paper. What a brilliant concept! Selling paper? Sticky Tack maybe, but PAPER!? Nobody buys paper. It was as brilliant as when ER came on the scene in the 90s. And there is another show in America which all takes place in a paper company with Steven Carrell.

Oh, and we compare him to the Inspector Gadget.

The conversation turns to Derek. A show that parodies Rosie O’Donnell‘s retard movie. Not Matilda or Harriet the Spy, but Riding the Bus with my Sister.

Rosie is like Nike pumps, never out of style, swinging on vines like Curious George. She had her own talk show and even on Curb Your Enthusiasm, with Larry David. She was also in Fatal Instinct.

They reveal the industry term they could’ve used in Tropic Thunder: “don’t go full Rosie” (instead of the line Robert Downy Jr. said). Or when the girl in Precious went fat black Rosie. Or What’s Eating Gilbert’s Grape where Leonardo DiCaprio went young white Rosie, with the mom character being Jabba the Hutt Rosie.

This week’s assignment: Write us a joke on Facebook that might be difficult to understand if you’re not IN on it.

And then we do “what if“: What if Ricky Gervais were a detective? Would we still have an Evan Almighty? Or Bruce Almighty for that matter? Or Anchorman 1 or 2? Or the Get Smart remake? This question leads to the whole WikiLeaks story because of bumbling American spies.

Should Julia Louis-Dreyfus be in Mary Almighty? Or should it be Jennifer Aniston? That’s just a final little quiz.

Remember Alan Alda said, “if it bends it’s funny, if it breaks it’s not funny, it’s maudlin“.

Subscribe on iTunes!! RATE and REVIEW!!

Questions or comments? Email: [email protected]

Our twitter: twitter.com/thejkaround

Facebooker? Like: facebook.com/thejkaround

Kevin the Great’s Blog: http://itskevinthegreatblog.tumblr.com

Have a great week! Class dismissed.

We talk about the song Massachusetts and break it down line by line. Enjoy!

Subscribe on iTunes!! And RATE and REVIEW us!!

Questions or comments? Email: [email protected]

Our twitter: twitter.com/thejkaround

Facebooker? Like: facebook.com/thejkaround

Kevin the Great’s Blog: http://itskevinthegreatblog.tumblr.com

Have a great week! Class dismissed.

Our first interview episode of the year is with Jonny Clark! He is a zany, alternative comic with a love of prop comedy. After doing a “here’s Jonny” throwback to the Johnny Carson show, we get right into it.

Jonny didn’t always do the Carrot Tip type thing with props (beach ball bicycles for instance). He actually started his journey of self discovery as “X-Rated”, a very filthy comic. People often don’t get very dirty jokes because they can be too filthy which their minds aren’t capable of grasping.

We get right into Jonny’s specific comedy routines. Joel describes what he saw Jonny perform as Jonny describes why it was funny. From being introduced as Rob Jeremy, coming out as a clown, carrying an empty pizza box to stripping to a superhero outfit, we discover that Jonny is rather avant-garde.

Jonny does things on stage which, simply, are not currently done. Yucko the Clown is the only known comedian who has ever dressed as a clown on stage and Jason Alexander is the only comedian/comedy actor who has ever dressed as a super here (super Jew) on stage (at the Just for Laughs comedy festival).

We get a sneak peek into Jonny’s future by discussing his Clown Mach II joke which involves a police office, a blow horn and a clown in a trunk. This puts one in mind of the classic contortionist clowns in a car.

As you might expect, when talking about physical comedy, Miley Cyrus is brought up. How brilliant she was evolving from Hannah Montana into a Gene Simmons-like comedian who, in a stroke of genius, promoted herself at the MTV Music Awards in a Beetlejuice costume. This may backfire because it turned people like Jonny on enough to jack-off to her.

Jonny does explain that Carrot Tip is not an influence of his even though, as we explain, he’s the Steve Jobs of comedy if Steve Jobs did comedy and was alive.

Then we break down Jonny’s famous birthday party cake bit. After that, he takes a moment to share his sure fire hit jokes which will win every time. Pay attention students. One of them even shares the name of the hit film Horrible Bosses!

They go into detail with his joke “Furry Friends” which isn’t about Homeward Bound. It’s actually about sex people called Furries. He describes a sex act with Minnie and Mickey Mouse of Disney fame. He even talks about Donald Duck in one of the alternative punchlines. They breakdown the comedy being found in the anipamorphesizing of the animals. This devolves into a brief discussion of cartoon porn involving Homer and Marge Simpson or an Orc and a Wood Elf from World of Warcraft.

Then we do Mike Birbiglia’s tweet, but since he’s not that great, we are now doing it with a better tweeter: Ron Delaney!

I always feel a little sad for a guy when I notice he missed a belt loop on his pants or lost his family in a fire.

— rob delaney (@robdelaney) December 31, 2013

Loch Ness. Bigfoot. The “clitoris.” Some mysteries may never be solved.

— rob delaney (@robdelaney) December 30, 2013

Then we walk about Jonny’s real job: photonics. He talks about the documentary Visions of the Future. They ask if this technology is alien. Jonny describes himself as if he’s in the Matrix or in the film Surrogate. Revolutions, black holes, Stephen Hawking, planet earth, the concept of time, different dimensions: This is what the conversation becomes.

We discuss how delicious pizza can be.

Then we do Comedy Soup and Jonny nails it!

As he prepares his joke, Joel and Kevin talk about the education system: reading, writing and arithmetic and science.

After the soup they talk OXO cubes, bouillabaisse and MSG. MSG actually causes Alzheimer’s, Jonny enlightens us.

Then we describe Jonny’s first joke involving a box.

Subscribe on iTunes!! And RATE and REVIEW us!!

Questions or comments? Email: [email protected]

Our twitter: twitter.com/thejkaround

Facebooker? Like: facebook.com/thejkaround

Kevin the Great’s Blog: http://itskevinthegreatblog.tumblr.com

Have a great week! Class dismissed.

We start by teaching about surprise in comedy (breaking the dialogism) to our students.

We get right into to talking about our tributee because we learned from our mistake on the Sarah Silverman episode, to stop taking so much time NOT talking about them. Today we tributize a true, classic legend Bill Cosby!

We talk about his penchant for talking about simple things like family and friends. Even if you’re lost in the mall, that can be funny.

Then Joel breaks the dialogism by confusing Bill Cosby for Bing Crosby. But he doesn’t stick to the joke because it’s too silly. Kevin mentions the hard C and K sounds again and they wonder if the “R” in “Crosby” softens the comedy of the “C”.

Right off the top contest: If a consonant follows a hard C or K, does that soften it? Do some consonants not soften it (in a comedy way)?

We talk The Cosby Show which featured the incredible Madeline Kahn. We figure she’d be a huge fan of our show because she has a great comedy sensibility. They talk her career with Mel Brooks and in What’s Up Doc with Barbara Streisand. Babs is a comedian, singer and everything else (booty not with-standing).

Then they wonder which was The Bill Cosby Show and just The Cosby Show. Which one was Madeline in? She actually took voice lessons. And they speak of the amazing way she said “Howard” in What’s up doc (show clip).

She died of ovarian cancer, it was such a loss, but The Cosby Show did a tribute episode.

They continue talking about Madeline which evolves into Young Frankenstein and then Gene Wilder. What a genius of comedy! He created the true Willy Wonka personification from the Chocolate Factory, something Johnny Depp couldn’t do. That was probably Tim Burton’s fault. Wilder was as funny as Steve Martin‘s wild and crazy guy! Other Wilder films: Funny About Baby, The Producers, Hear No Evil/See No Evil and Blazing Saddles.

They talk more about Madeline Kahn and her “I’m so tired” performance.

Then they discuss how brilliant Mel Brooks is with his period pieces: Blazing Saddles and Spaceballs (future period). He’s Gandalf the White, not Gandolf the Grey: He’s a wizard of comedy. Thank you Mel!

Then they get into the meat of the lesson discussing “long form comedy”, the Star Wars joke, Lord of the Funny (Rings), Back to the Funny (Future), Terminator of Comedy, Funny (Fast) Furious Five or just funny franchise. They share metaphors to help the students understand what long form comedy is.

The question arises, WHEN does comedy come from? Childhood, prepubescence, adolescence, teenage years and early twenties?

That’s when Bill Cosby’s signature SIT DOWN comedy is brought up. Sitting in a cigar with a big ole leather chair in his mouth. As if we’re right there in his living room (metaphorically, atmospherically). This is a lesson Mike Birbiglia took to heart, he also doesn’t try in a similar way.

Then, as we often do, we get deep and discuss Bill Cosby on Spy vs Spy and ask “Did he ever grow up from that”? Why does he only talk about himself as a kid? How has Birbiglia matured so much. Why does Bill wear those sweaters? Does he suffer from those artistic quirks as the consummate professional he is?

And we chastise those comedians who just make fun of Bill’s pudding pops because he’s as 2 dimensional as Tony the Tiger who is the Tiger in your tank, the Eye of the Tiger and the tiger upper cut in street fighter two.

Then they get into short form comedy. Steven Wright is the perfect example of short form comedy. They nail a couple of his most famous jokes. Concise one liners. They also mention Mitch Hepberg, the modern Wright. He was always so high on drugs that he was addicted to. But we don’t celebrate drugs on the podcast.

Then we talk about Eddie Murphy and his 80s stand-up. Bill wasn’t a big Eddie Murphy fan because Eddie Murphy was vulgar. Joel compares Madeline Khan to David Bowie. Yes, irreverency is funny, but George Carlin already broke down those barriers of swears with his dated “7 words you can’t say on television” bit. It’s old news. There’s no need for swears any more.

It’s only now that Murphy is doing timeless family comedy with the Klumps, Pluto Nash, the Klumps 2 (Getting Klumpy!!). Whereas his old stuff has a date stamped on it. It’s no longer current. It’s no Dr. Dolittle. Rex Harrison would agree! What Rex did with Dr. Dolittle was way better than what Murphy did with RAW.

This week’s other contest: Try your own long form comedy, post it on our page, email us. Write us a long form comedy joke. Tweet it in many different tweets and we may read it!

And then we introduce a new segment: What if?! We contemplate “what if” Bill Cosby was something else. What do the boys come out with?

USE YOUR IMAGINATION! Picture yourself in Cancún, watching the buffalo, whales, Super Bowl or bufferfloat.

Subscribe on iTunes!!

Questions or comments? Email: [email protected]

Our twitter: twitter.com/thejkaround

Facebooker? Like: facebook.com/thejkaround

Kevin the Great’s Blog: http://itskevinthegreatblog.tumblr.com

Have a great week! Class dismissed.

The Grumpus Who Stole December Time from the Children

When the Nation was sleeping from the beach to the city (Capitol City)

Now, children and spinsters were hanging their chickpeas

But could they have known that just past rolling desert

Thick growths from raccoons, gristly glistening in pans

So right were the dreams dreamt by they who were dreaming

Soft moaning grew to a deafening roar

Then out from those towering trees did emerge

The beast that was Grumpus, the feline from hell

“Batten the hatches”, whatever battening is

“Fill our ears up with chickpeas to block out the cries?

Plotting was grand by blowhards and would-be heroes

Finally, when a while had passed ‘neath their noses

And heaving up mountain they climbed whilst the cat cried

The cat, was it a kitten?, kept straight on its course

But on it did journey putting a soft paw ‘front ‘nother

But little ’twas it known that in gutters and ditches

The raccoons were fed-up with the noise of this feline

As the puss found its way near the frightened, pooped people

Up side of the mountain, there burst charging bandits

They gutted their victim with teeth and with claw

Our saviours, the raccoons kept destroying that kitty-cat

“Odelloo-hee-ha” and “Huzzazussa” the country-folk roared

A week, then, to honour them on every other day

And vowed they on knees and vowed they in temples

Now, many don’t realize how horny raccoons are

These creatures are blessed and their off-spring are many

We swerve down the road ‘twixt sleeping ‘coons in the road

And there’s just so much dung, all lying around

So, wishes ‘pon wishes, swished rich wet wishes in pond

“I can’t live with the faeces!” “I can’t live with the sex”

So torn they were, within each their hearts

And so came solutions to appease everyone’s conscience

And just before the town voted in a raccoon mayor

Up to the mountain traversed they once more

And that is why we do, every December thirty-two-nd

December Time Contest: Do your own version of “December Time is Here” or share December Time songs that you love!

Sing-along lyrics carol:

December Time is Here

Chorus

verse 1

Verse 2

Chorus

Bridge

Verse 3

Chorus

Merry December Time!

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Questions or comments? Email: [email protected]

Our twitter: twitter.com/thejkaround

Facebooker? Like: facebook.com/thejkaround

Kevin the Great’s Blog: http://itskevinthegreatblog.tumblr.com

Have a great week! Class dismissed.

Today’s podcast features Carly May as our special guest comedian* for a special December Time episode!

The show starts off on an educational tip as Joel and Kevin teach our listeners about synthesis and photosynthesis. Our podcast picture is a great example of these concepts.

We, again, mention how funny hard C (or K) sounds are and Carly has one (or more) in her name. We discuss Milton Berle‘s autobiography, his thesis on good comedy.

We finally get to talking about Carly May‘s comedic stylings. She writes from her own experiences, she picks her own brain in a stream of consciousness sense, but isn’t a story-teller. It’s what defines her, which is still a mystery.

We get into the concept of staples in shopping: milk, chickpeas, hummus, grainy things. But there are staples in comedy too. Each comedian has there own hummus joke or chickpea jokes. Joel’s is his catchphrase, “chickpeas? Chick, please!”

This leads into the “why girls aren’t funny?” issue, that stigma that comes with female comics. She tries to steer away from it and doesn’t go on about anthropology. They discuss brunettes, blondes, black haired girls, short-haired, long-haired. These are all beautiful women and should be accepted as themselves. Comedians are separated by offensive material, or because they’re loud enough! They shouldn’t be separated because they have breasts too. Carly can make just as good dick jokes as any man. Hard dicks aren’t funny though, they’re the ultimate commitment.

This leads to discussing Jenn Tisdale who committed a pornography film. Joel suggests this is not unlike that idea Ricky Gervais put forward in his “kill a prostitute” joke. We ask Carly if this is empowering? Joel parallels this to King of Comedy by Martin Scorsese starring Al Cappuccino or Roberto Panini from Taxi Driver. He kidnaps Jerry Lewis and tries to get on the tonight show. Jenn has kind of kidnapped herself. We ask Carly what she’d do for publicity in lieu of porn.

Carly mentions her friend who opened for Doug Stanhope and other guys she knows opened for our hero Gilbert Gottfried. Then we talk Paris Hilton and how she broke through with her sex tape to bring us “that’s hot” which was amazing.

Then they consider who the best porn partner would be for her Seth Rogan (the Judd Apatow route), Chris Rock. We suggest Zach Shade should maybe get on this bandwagon with her. Then Joel figures Eddie Murphy in a Klump fat suit would be funny, but Kevin disagrees and keeps Joel in check. They discuss nudity being funny: bums (poop).

We talk at the beginning of Carly’s comedy journey. She lets us into the world of her metaphorical shelf. They discuss what might be on the metaphorical fridge: Honeycombs, honey mustard or a jar of honey. This reminds Joel that the Tisdale thing might be a result of an uneducation in the world, stemming from poor grammar in cereal commercials of our youth.

Kevin and Carly discuss their history together as students at Capitol City University, CCU, (go fighting Bulligans!!). He took a one day trip to Canada. Kevin told Joel in Facebook Chat and then Google Circles. His face lit up!

They discuss the concept of “the only way to fail is to never try“. They discuss miracles that take place which make people rich. Like discovering electricity. Joel says tsunamis bring people big money and the BP Oil Spill. South Park got a 3 part episode which gazillions of people watched. We compare our show to cleaning the oil off a duckling like in the Palmolive oil spill commercial!

We ask Carly what her most terrifying moment on stage was. It was that they didn’t laugh. We think of the possibilities as to why they didn’t laugh. Were they sexist? Was Carly too pretty? Or maybe she was just too young and the audience was expecting My Little Pony or Hello Kitty jokes? Some horrible people have a female limit and can only stand shows like Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place! Then we reach the real meat of the show as we observe that Gilbert Gottfried, Kevin James, Louis CK and Mike Birbiglia are all unattractive people who get funny responses! Even Lisa Lampanelli might be losing her funny with all that weight. Joan Rivers looks younger every day, that’s why she’s not funny anymore.

Of course, Carly was saved by the man with the 132 pound scrotum in her second set as he was popular in the media. Carly shares an incredibly funny word picture which probably killed that night. Joel makes a very good point about shrinkage.

Then Kevin and Joel take a moment to talk about the joys of December Time! This would be similar to Christmas, Hanukkah or the minor winter celebrations. We share memories of the Nation’s traditions and stories of yore: chickpeas, floss, shoelace, raccoons, GMOs, tumours, ticks, the Grumpus, December Time jokes, Papier Mâché, bitter unsweetened chocolate, pancake batter mustaches, churned blueberries (pretend raccoon dung), cat tails stapled to the fridge, fireworks, helium balloons, the mountain heights of the festivities, fiery arrows, confetti.

Mike Birbiglia’s tweets! Carly shares how much she hates cats and why his tweet is funny!

My cat has organized with other cats in the neighborhood and they’re demanding infinity amounts of food and love.

— Mike Birbiglia (@birbigs) November 27, 2013

This inspires a mention of Garfield, the grumpy cat.

This week’s facebook contest: Create a Garfield meme that says something like, “I don’t hate Mondays anymore because of the JK Around Podcast“. Tweet it to us or Facebook it before December 32nd.

Joel brings to light the “bzzt” that “infinity amounts” and “forever number” (math comedy/funny language comedy) can bring. We wonder if Carly would ever go skiing, bowling, dinner theatre, parasailing, sky-diving, for the comedy of it.

They discuss other winter celebration traditions like presents in socks or wooden shoes. Joel wishes his Dutch joke would work for more people.

Me: “Why are there no raisins in this oliebollen.”

Carly regales us with a hilarious slapstick comedy skiing story which puts one in mind of a classic hilarious cartoon (see right) or Looney Tunes.

Then they discuss the principal in the discipline about surprise being funny in comedy. That’s why some of M. Night Shyamalan‘s movies are the best comedies.

Then we do COMEDY SOUP! Carly makes some absolutely delicious soup (like Jamie Oliver)!

Another facebook/twitter contest: Send us YOUR December Time memories!

Make sure to follow Carly on twitter! twitter.com/currlychugh

She should have @carlymay

Carly wins the podcast with 10 points for adding December Time to her soup.

Happy December Time!

Subscribe on iTunes!!

Questions or comments? Email: [email protected]

Our twitter: twitter.com/thejkaround

Facebooker? Like: facebook.com/thejkaround

Kevin the Great’s Blog: http://itskevinthegreatblog.tumblr.com

Have a great week! Class dismissed… Ugh.

*female

Today’s episode begins with wasting time talking about the alphabet and Kangaroo Jack, comedy film. This film is loved by Liberals and Conservatives from Australia to all around the world.

After we reintroduce ourselves to the students, we draw attention to the hard C or K sounds again in the podcast. We use Jack Black as an example. Joel highlights rappers caring about consonants and syllables and the Blue Man Group who use many rap-like energies.

Kevin offers a glimpse into his journey into the universe of music! He listened to Mr. Queen. But where is the K or hard C sound in Bohemian Rhapsody? They take the magic out of that song.

Then we talk silly voices: Robin Williams, Jim Carrey, Frank Caliendo and the master, Dana Carvey! He’s like a comedic wet blanket or a wonderful wet dream.

But there is a warning for our students, to use this power (hard Cs or Ks) responsibly, like Superman‘s grandpa told him, and share these things with the muggles as they say in Harry Potter.

The two reminisce about the origins of the JK Around Podcast, the little argument that started it all. Then Joel also mentions the country of Jkarta in India.

We then discuss improvements we might make to the podcast based on the episodes about Russell Peters, Louis CK and with Zach Shade. We discuss housekeeping, vacuuming, cleaning toilet and cleaning out your bathtub.

Then we discuss our skitches. They’re a hybrid of sketches and skits. This may or may not be poetic, but that’s for the scholars to decide. Kevin mentions his love for the Encyclopedia de Nationannica: History of the Nation. Joel talks Wikipedia and his collection of Encyclopedia Browns.

We talk about our dream to get Dan Aykroyd into 5 or so of our skitches, but he’s so hard to reach! Dan, if you’re reading this, use the contact page and hit us up! You’ve set yourself up with that incredible name. You’re no casually comedic Bill Murray. Get out of your Taiwanese, Buddhist mountain and come back and do Ghostbusters 3! We talk about Dan playing tennis in the Capitol City.

That’s when the conversation finally turns to our tributizee: Sarah Silverman. We talk “Jesus is Magic“, her first and only comedy special. They talk refreshing your browser with F5. Joel questions her decision to use the name of Jesus in her title. Was that cheeky then? Was that sacrilegious? Kevin mentions God is Dead by Christopher Hitchens and The God Confusion by Richard Dawkins.

Once again, Paul Blart Mall Cop comes up, but this time with fellow genius film: Son of the Mask 2!

We talk about Sarah and controversy, that big ol’ sandpit in the middle of the Amazon or Fire Swamp from Princess Bride. We make sure that Kevin realizes that the movie wasn’t a documentary, it was a re-enactment or dramatization of true events. We can all be saved through the grape vine and be shown out of controversy.

We discuss religion and the children of Quarthmon, Quarmensain, Quarnon, Quarthmore, Quarmen, Quarmar, Quarninn, Quarnyani-anin and Quarfar (or Q). Then we discuss abortion. It’s either killing a child or not. Does life begin at failed contraception? The good news is, everyone is right! This is absolutism (relativism) in that everyone is absolutely right: Pentecostals, Anglicans, Baptists and Japanese.

Then we talk about how funny Sarah Silverman is and how that’s not debatable, but that it is, yet it isn’t depending on how you feel about it. Your call! Then Kevin shares a quote about her not liking unfunny people telling her where the funny is.

Then we talk “who is funny?”. We know scientists, mimes and tennis players aren’t funny, but Patch Adams was and he was a doctor! Beverly Hills Cop was funny and he was a cop! The people that organize TED Talks, the government and censorship. Everyone can share the hard laughs and sounds.

Then we fast forward to the newest Sarah Silverman version: Jash. Basically, her YouTube channel. She’s doing comedy with Tim Heidecker, Eric Wareheim, Michael Cera and Reggie Watts (from Comedy Bang Bang with Scott Aukerman). We decide to be a part of Jash. We offer long, amazing skitches not unlike Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and Back to the Future 1, 2 and 3. We offer our tome of comedy. The Iliad meats JK Around. It’s Shrek 3 meets Dog Day Afternoon. We’re like Looney Tunes!

Then we talk more about all of our exciting projects in the pipeline for our students and everyone.

Subscribe on iTunes!!

Questions or comments? Email: [email protected]

Our twitter: twitter.com/thejkaround

Facebooker? Like: facebook.com/thejkaround

Kevin the Great’s Blog: http://itskevinthegreatblog.tumblr.com

Have a great week! Class dismissed.