Commit One

What happens when you make a successful, fondly remembered Christmas film, then make a sequel that is okay but not great, but you don't just quit while you're ahead? You get the 2006 Disney film The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause. Will, Mike, and Sam wonder this exact question and many others as they watch Tim Allen and Martin Short nearly destroy their careers with a film that was made to just be a cash-in, but made nearly $70 million less than the second film despite having a much lower budget. A poor script, poor acting at points, and a pace that would make a snail seem speedy all make up this poorly conceived sequel and serves as a flat end to a promising trilogy. It's the Commit One crew's first Disney film, but why did it have to be this one?

How many brain cells can die in just one Christmas movie? Will, Mike, and Sam find out the hard way as they look at a very thin-veiled attempt at a Christmas "comedy" with the 1996 film Santa With Muscles. Starring Hulk Hogan as a man who is hit in the head and is made to believe he is Santa Claus and....well, that should already tell you enough on how bad this one is! Poor acting, a less than paper-thin plot, and more cringe-worthy scenes to shake a candy cane at, this one should have just been left under the tree and not released at all (even for just the two weeks it was in theaters!). So join the Commit One crew as they shut off their brains and enjoy the stupid with this Christmas "classic."

Have a holly....jolly....funny...cringy....and whatever-else-this-is Christmas as Will, Mike, and Sam kick off Christmas month with an interesting choice for their first Christmas-themed film in the 2005 horror-comedy Santa's Slay starring professional wrestler Bill Goldberg as an alternative version of Santa Claus who is depicted as the son of the devil and forced to be nice for 1000 years after losing a glorified curling match to an angel. Yes, someone actually wrote this script! Full of corny dialogue, slightly over-the-top kills, and actors that seemed to be having WAY too much fun, Santa's Slay does prove that, while still being a bad movie, can provide a bit of entertainment in other ways but really should have just been left under the Christmas tree. However, the Commit One crew is here to dash through the cinematic snow on this one and break down these holiday hijinks.

Note: In this special edition we go a little bit deeper with our discussion seeing as we are honoring 35 years of the Mario game franchise. If you wish to skip this discussion and go into our discussion of the film, we break off to the film beginning at 34:40.

There are not enough Power Stars in the Mushroom Kingdom that can save this disaster! Will, Mike, and Sam both honor one of the greatest video game franchises of all time while also looking at the ill-advised attempt to bring it to the big screen in the 1993 film Super Mario Bros. In this special edition of the Commit One Movie Podcast, the crew takes some time to honor 35 years of the Super Mario franchise and what the games have meant to them before taking the film adaptation down a few more pegs (as if it needed any help!) which features actors who have gone on to bash their own film at every chance they can get. While some may still like the film, it still holds up as the starting point for bad video game adaptations as the world knows it, which in turn does make sure that the Commit One Crew has a LOT to cover.

We'll just save our quarters on this one thank you very much! Will, Mike, and Sam take on their first video game movie and reinforce why trying to adapt a video game for the big screen is rarely ever a good idea in 1994's Double Dragon. Featuring Robert Patrick as the villain and Alyssa Milano in the female lead as Marian, the film takes the relatively simple premise of the game it is based off of, throws it out of the window, and substitutes it for a "family-friendly" tone and enough 90s cheesiness to attract mice. Over the top (and not in a good way), but the Commit One crew is here to charge through it but still wishing the studio would have said "game over" on this one.

Alaska just can't seem to catch a break. Will, Mike, and Sam head back North this time for a creature feature where the Midnight Sun just makes things worse than they already are in actually letting the bad CGI stand out on the titular dragon in the 2009 Syfy TV film Wyvern. However, even with a completely made-up story about the monster's origins, the film proves to be an actual decent film (and not to mention a MAJOR improvement over Skeleton Man) with a relatively grounded story, likable characters, the filmmakers actually giving the audience what they may want at times, and even General Hammond himself from Stargate SG-1 (the late Don S. Davis)! Although it still has its flaws, Wyvern still provides enough for the Commit One crew to break down and not resort to have to call the people from Game of Thrones.

This episode is dedicated to the memory of Sir Sean Connery and Will's dad, Curtis.

Wow, this one was really shaken instead of stirred. Will, Mike, and Sam discuss a film that is so poorly made and had such a troubled production that it made the star quit the film-making industry altogether (with the exception of two voice-over roles in 2012) with 2003's The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Starring Sean Connery in his final live-action role, the film follows a promising premise based on the graphic novel of the same name with famous Victorian-era literary characters teaming up in an alternate history tale set in 1899, but fails at many levels with a confusing plot, questionable motivations, and plenty of action scenes for the sake of action scenes. When even the star does not understand the script, there tends to be problems (and not to mention plenty of studio-meddling) and the Commit One crew is here to break it all down.

The pain of Halloween month is finally over for Will, Mike, and Sam as they look at a film chosen by YOU Movie Haters that was actually an improvement over the other choices for this month in 2000's Leprechaun in the Hood. Starring Warwick Davis as the titular leprechaun Lubdan along with Ice T, the fifth outing in the horror-comedy franchise that really just makes viewers want to scratch their heads and groan at all of the constant rhyming as well as the lack of any real exposition. While the film could be much worse, the Commit One crew does consider themselves lucky that this film ended up being the choice of the Haters.

This is what happens when you try to film a movie about nothing! Will, Mike, and Sam continue Halloween month with the absolute waste of film and time that is the 2004 film Skeleton Man. While even failing to rip off Predator right, this movie is just bad all around to the point where not only did Sam and Will apologize to each other for their previous movie choices, but also leave Mike with a LOT of explaining to do!

Oh plot, where are you? Halloween month continues for Will, Mike, and Sam as they take a look at the low-budget "horror" film 1, 2, 3....Scream and wonder what went wrong the most of the many things in this "interesting" film. This is one ghost-hunting trip that even the ghosts want to avoid.