Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for another “Confessions from the Crypt” special — lock the doors and grab your torch.

Maria Callas (from Middlesbrough, obviously) reveals how a snowbound dash for the only train to London ended with her welded to Eric Cantona’s chest…

Then one anonymous parent admits to a decade-long lie involving their daughter and a microchip.

Plus: a birdwatcher’s woodland wee gets captured by a badger camera, and “Brian” accidentally soundtracks a neighbour’s paperwork with some very loud Cluedo.

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