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(I'll be taking a brief break in January – see you next year!)

There's a unique flavor to British romcoms and especially British romantic holiday movies: a dash of vinegar mixed in with the sugar and spice, a grounding bite to the proceedings, a bittersweet gentle melancholy, an undercurrent that keeps it real and earns the emotion in every tiny moment and line. These movies hit just the right spot for me this year, reminding me that I'm not alone if I can bravely reach out, where there are valuable and heart-affirming connections everywhere you look.

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"This movie is in love with that new car feeling of a new relationship." You say that like it's a bad thing. Relationship therapist ranks Love Actually romances.

"I like you very much, just as you are." Romcoms — and the patriarchy — need more moments like this.

"You'll go somewhere new and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again." Best scene in the whole movie.

Oh and this one. "I've got a life to start living — and you're not going to be in it!" The patriarchy needs a whole bunch more of these moments, too.

"Last Christmas/I gave you my heart.." Just being a human IS hard, so yes, let's do something nice for someone. You're made of everything you do.

It might not be something but it could be everything. Oh this quiet, gorgeous movie.

My favorite characters are the twin girls Sam and Charlie, and the turkeys. Oh boy am I kidding: everybody is my favorite character in this amazing animated movie.

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The world can be harsh place, but the grace of love — familial, chosen family, platonic and especially intimate and romantic love  — always helps you through. It's a gift that keeps on giving and keeps you going, so let's be grateful for wherever and whenever we are graced with it. The best holiday movies and romcoms remind us that cultivating and growing relationships is never easy, but always worth it in the end.


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My favorite holiday movies and romcoms are the ones with stories so good that you can enjoy them all throughout the year. I love the characters and plot of The Family Stone so much, I gushed over it in my first Christmas episode.

The Bishop's Wife is another magical holiday movie that I could happily watch at least once a month. You can watch the full movie here.

Please Rewind has a fantastic analysis of one of my favorite Woody Allen movies, which begins and ends at Thanksgiving.

The Dan in Real Life trailer is — predictably — terrible. Here's one of my favorite scenes in the movie. Some amazing fan posted the DVD extras and bloopers and we are grateful.

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Who doesn't love a romantic meet cute? Who doesn't love a double meet cute, a story about fate, searching for the one — when the real one is right under your nose? Add a great script, good banter, two lead characters to root for from the first minute, a great supporting cast and some funny shenanigans while chasing a spare ticket to a sold out Pentatonix Christmas Eve concert: this sexy warm-hearted holiday romcom is just the cheer we need this year.

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Dang, another trailer that fails to capture the tone of the movie. At least you see how cute everybody is.

He's going to melt your heart! And other body parts. I think Lauren Holly's facial expressions sum it up for all of us.

This Pentatonix mashup of Pure Imagination and Christmas Time Is Here adds that slight melancholy to the holiday that's needed this year.

A round up of some of the best holiday movies streaming on Netflix this year.

And start your holidays here.

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It's the season: bring on the witchy energy. These movies could be called dark romcoms, because they center romantic love in their plots, and they're often funny, but it's a corrupted or disappointing love, with witches as the main characters scrambling to find their power and the right sorcery for success, illegal illicit or otherwise. On the way to making us laugh or cry, these movies explore some fairly serious themes around domestic violence, sexual consent, cultural conditioning, emotional abuse and how the patriarchy often strives to minimize and control women's innate power. You will definitely laugh, too.

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I guess horror comedy works too. Sex magik creates love magic, sex magik creates…

Oh geez: another weird retro trailer. Even Variety agrees with me. Fortunately they have another chance to get it right, because Practical Magic 2 is now officially in the works.

Bell, Book and Candle, the full movie on YouTube.

The only witchy polycule that I know of.

The anatomy of a spell.

Witch history and self-help.

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It took me a long time to check out this sport romance, but to say I was knocked over by this inventive, dramatic, erotic story is an understatement. It's about a threesome, a love triangle, sport prodigies, early promise, the pursuit of excellence, the thrill and disappointments of growing up, playing the game of life and love, sex as the game and the game being mostly about sex. How to explain? You just need to experience it.

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"This is a game about winning the points that matter." Does any trailer ever get it right? This is not the movie I saw. Pop some popcorn, snuggle in and watch this movie.

The final match took eight months to produce. "He wanted the action to mirror the characters’ complicated and sweaty dynamic — for viewers to feel like they were inside the competition, which is as much metaphor as sport." How they served the tennis scenes in Challengers.

Interesting brief interview with Challengers screenwriter Justin Kuritzkes.

A guide to the films of Luca Guadagnino.

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Mismatched family cultures, personal values and beliefs: most romantic couples can relate. The sexy atheist and the hot rabbi at the center of this funny and often deep and touching fish out of water romcom dodge devastating zingers, doubtful friends, meddling families, sarcastic siblings, and a culture that just doesn't want one of them, but their sparkling chemistry and faith in each other always manages to get them through.

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Is there a world where this works? There better be, because I'm hanging on for season two.

Finally. This evenhanded review has a very interesting perspective.

" I think we need positive Jewish stories right now. I think it’s interesting when people focus on, “Oh, this is a stereotype of Jewish people,” when you have a rabbi as the lead. A hot, cool, young rabbi who smokes weed. That’s the antithesis of how people view a Jewish rabbi, right?" Erin Foster talks about her own conversion and creating the series.

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(I'm taking a little break over the next few weeks because my sweetie is coming to visit! See you in October).

This month, I'm celebrating the fourth anniversary of my podcast! After more than 100 episodes, I had sunk into a tiny romance slump — then I discovered these romcom parodies, poking gentle but hilarious fun at romance tropes (do grown women always trip and fall in romcoms?!) Not only are they clever and perfectly written parodies, they're also enjoyable if predictable (heh) romcoms, too. Sometimes celebrating while giggling at beloved romance conventions and clichés is just the thing you need to reinvigorate your love for an entire genre.

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It's just like a corny movie! Only it's real life! Wholesome yet subversive. Oh these two.

You're quite beguiling — did you know that? When Liam Hemsworth tells you this in your alternate universe romcom life, you must believe.

The 10 best romcoms set in New York City 
(See what I mean about these round ups?! I think I've seen most of these movies, but not all of them.)

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I've been feeling a bit under the weather, while also preparing for my sweetie's upcoming visit (a much longer visit this time), and my heart's full of romance and  thoughts about when we first fell in love. So it's the perfect time to replay my episode about Cyrano, Joe Wright's lush romantic musical version of the classic Cyrano de Bergerac story. Every gorgeous musical phrase and motif by Aaron and Bryce Dessner of The National, and lyric by The National lead singer Matt Berninger and his partner, Carin Besser, embodies the yearning thrill and desperate longing of falling deeply in love with someone. A couple of years on, I still cry when I hear this score and watch Peter Dinklage's face express the pain and exhilaration of romantic love.

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Director Joe Wright on why Cyrano is his most personal film since Atonement.

I'm incapable of hearing this song and these lyrics without bursting into tears. One of my favorite songs in the entire movie.

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Being single — whether it's a temporary identity or permanent — is valid life choice, but it doesn't often feel that way in our society. Living a romantic life can mean being part of a couple, and also includes being unpartnered, child free, parenting a pet, and falling in love with yourself. Some brave real life artists and fictional characters of the 19th and early 20th century managed to create this type of life, and while you shouldn't need to be a courageous soul to pull it off, these romantic stories and movies about their lives are encouragement to live our lives out loud.

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Movies/Shows

The pace of this movie is glacial at first and the frames and acting very mannered, but you quickly fall in love with Cynthia Nixon as Emily Dickinson in A Quiet Passion.

The Brontë sisters Confidential! Tarnish and all.

This is a very corny trailer from way back in the early 90s but it really sums up the Edith Wharton story well.

My Cousin Rachel is all sorts of suspenseful and intense and Rachel Weisz is utterly compelling in her role as an independent widow trying to find her way in 19th century England.

A Quiet Passion and the real Emily Dickinson

Wild nights — Wild nights! Emily Dickinson's love life

Of course if you're lucky you can visit the Brontë parsonage in Haworth.

What Edith Wharton taught me about marriage

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The 4th anniversary of the show is coming up, and I have learned so much about myself and my desires while making this podcast. I appreciate every listener, and also feel so grateful for the journey I've been on, taking a closer look at some of the best romances in books and on screen. So I'm replaying an episode from my 2nd anniversary that celebrates connection and sexual desires, and creating space for them. Even if it's a tiny corner of your heart, finding room for pleasure and passions is some of the most important interior decorating you'll ever do.

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