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What is Connection?

When I talk about connecting with your teen, I'm talking about YOU building YOUR relationship with them.

You CANNOT control how your teen feels about you! You can do everything "right," only to have them hate and despise you. Connection is all about YOU controlling YOU and the things within YOUR control. 

How do you feel about your teen?

How do you treat your teen, even when they are miserably difficult?

Why Is Connecting Where They Are SO IMPORTANT!?

When we try to change our teens, or we try to connect with them where we want them to be, we are trying to connect with someone who doesn't even exist. 

When we spend time wishing our teens was more respectful, more studious, more thoughtful, more kind, more clean, less lazy, less anxious, whatever . . . 

. . . We're try to connect with a different teen than the one that actually exists. 

When we connect with our teen where they are, it shows them that they ARE good enough, that we love them no matter what, and that we are trying to understand. 

4 Keys for a Rock Solid Relationship?

Access the FREE 15 minute Video Teen Relationship Tune-Up at:

BenPughCoaching.com/Teen-Relationship/

1. Commit to Love
   
   
2. Respect THEIR Process
   
   
3. Stop trying to control/fix them. 
   
   
4. Take 100% responsibility.

How to Connect With Your Teen, Right Exactly Where They Are!

We're going to build on the relationship training that I referred to above. I recommend that you go watch the FREE 15 minute training. You can access it here: BenPughCoaching.com/Teen-Relationship/.

1. Become interested in what they are interested in. 
   • My teen and pre-teen LOVE Fortnite. 
2. My 13 year old loves football. 
   • I help coach his little league team. 
3. Learn how to listen
   
   
4. Give them a voice in decisions
   • Let them have a voice in family rules.
   • Let them voice their concerns.
   • Let them help come up with (+/-) consequences.
   • Follow their guidance. 
5. Get curious
   • A while ago my son told me that he wanted to drop out of school. 
   • My instinct was to get upset and yell, "No!"
   • Instead, I got curious and questioned, "What would it take for me to be okay with him dropping out?"
   • I told him he could drop out, with some stipulations, but that I would do everything I could to support him. 
   • We had a great couple of weeks trying to figure out how to make $50K as a teen (one of the stipulations).
   • He decided he wanted to stay in school. 
6. Drop shame, fear, and judgement around mistakes. 
   • Share your mistakes with them. 
   • Embrace their mistakes. 
   • Help them see that it's simply part of the process and specifically part of their process. 
   • Trust in their resilience. 
   • Trust that they CAN recover from ANYTHING and EVERYTHING!

This WILL Help You Connect with Them!

This will deepen your connection with your teen. 

You will feel closer to them. You will understand them better. You will be confident in their ability to conquer life. You will spend less time worrying about them. You will spend less time fighting with them. 

Try it!

Want a Simple Step by Step Parenting Debrief Guide?

Go download the FREE Parenting Debrief Guide.

It’s simple and quick. It will help you uplevel your parenting. And, it’s completely FREE!

1. Go to benpughcoaching.com/debrief
2. Download the debrief
3. Start with your own internal debrief.