IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective

"Ask Ben a Question"

Want your teen to manage his thoughts, feelings, and actions better? Start by managing your own.

As parents, it's easy to see what our teens are doing wrong. We want to help them think differently, feel better, and make better choices.

But sometimes, our attempts to help turn into trying to control them.

In this episode of IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective, Ben Pugh shares one of the biggest mistakes parents make with the Self-Coaching Model: trying to manage their teen's Model instead of their own.

You'll learn why your teen may resist your advice, how to recognize when helping turns into controlling, and what it looks like to model the skills you want your teen to learn.

Because even when your teen isn't listening, he's still watching.

The goal isn't to make your teenager change. It's to take responsibility for how you show up, no matter what your teen does.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why trying to coach your teen can backfire
• The difference between teaching and controlling
• Why teens sometimes listen to others more than their parents
• How to model emotional responsibility instead of lecturing about it
• One simple question to ask when you catch yourself trying to change your teen

Want help with your own parenting challenges?

Book a free Game Plan Call with Ben. Bring the situation you're struggling with, and together you'll explore what you can control, what belongs to your teen, and where to start.

https://benpughcoaching.com/mini

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question"

Have you ever thought, "If my teenager would just listen, I wouldn't get so upset"?

Or maybe, "If he would just make better choices, I wouldn't worry so much."

Here's the thing. Your teenager doesn't have to change before you can change how you feel and how you parent.

In this episode of IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective, I'm teaching you how to use the Self-Coaching Model to better understand your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

I'll share a story about a time I went from being furious with my wife and son to feeling grateful, even though neither one of them changed a thing.

You'll learn:

• Why your teenager's behavior isn't the only thing driving your emotions.
• How your thoughts affect the way you respond to your teen.
• Why trying to control your teenager often leaves you feeling out of control.
• How to stay calm and curious without giving up your boundaries.
• A simple way to start noticing and changing your own thoughts.

You don't have to wait for your teenager to behave better before you can become the parent you want to be.

Want help putting this into practice?

Book a free Game Plan Call with me. We'll look at a real parenting challenge you're facing and figure out what you can do differently, even if your teenager doesn't change.

https://benpughcoaching.com/mini

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question"

When should you put your foot down with your teenager? And when should you step back and let him make his own choices?

It's a tough question. You want to protect your teen, but you also want him to grow up, make good choices, and take responsibility for his life.

Here's the thing: Your teen needs practice making decisions. And sometimes that means letting him make mistakes.

But that doesn't mean you should let him do whatever he wants.

In this episode of IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective, I'm sharing some simple guidelines to help you decide when to hold a boundary and when to let your teen learn from his own choices.

We'll talk about:

• Why giving your teen freedom while the stakes are low matters.
• How stepping in too often can keep your teen from learning responsibility.
• When it's okay to let your teen fail and face the results.
• How to know when you need to step in and hold a boundary.
• Why you don't have to get every parenting decision right.

There's no perfect way to parent a teenager. What works for one family might not work for another.

The goal isn't to control every choice your teen makes. It's to help him learn how to handle freedom while you become more confident in your own parenting decisions.

Want help with a tough parenting decision?

If you're not sure when to step in or when to back off, let's talk about it. Bring your real-life situation to a free Parent/Teen Game Plan Call, and we'll work through it together.

Book your free call: https://benpughcoaching.com/mini

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question"

Have you tried everything to help your teen, but nothing seems to work?

Maybe you're tired of the fighting, yelling, and constant worry.

Maybe you're scared about the choices your teen is making, and you don't know what to do next.

That's exactly where Theresa was.

In this special IMPACT Interview: Rewind, I'm bringing back the most downloaded episode of IMPACT! Parenting with Perspective.

Theresa was a single mom who was terrified her son would end up in jail. He'd been arrested, was selling vapes and weed, and was struggling in school.

She'd tried therapy, parenting strategies, and everything she could think of.

Nothing seemed to work.

She was scared, ashamed, and exhausted. She was constantly yelling, and she felt like she was failing as a mom.

But then something started to change.

And it wasn't her son.

Theresa started changing how she thought about him, how she responded to him, and what she chose to focus on.

Instead of trying to control everything her son did, she started focusing on what she could control.

And things began to change.

The yelling slowed down. Their relationship improved. Her son started making better choices, and he eventually got back on track to graduate from high school.

But one of the biggest changes was in Theresa herself.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• What Theresa was most afraid of when she first reached out for help.
• Why trying harder to control her teen wasn't working.
• How fear and shame were affecting her parenting.
• What changed when she started focusing on herself instead of fixing her son.
• How she went from constant yelling and worry to feeling calmer, more confident, and more connected to her son.

Here's what I want you to take away from Theresa's story:

You can't control your teen's choices. But you have more power than you think to change how you show up as a parent.

And sometimes, that's where the biggest changes begin.

If you're feeling stuck, scared, or like you've tried everything, this is a great place to start.

WANT HELP WITH YOUR TEEN?

If you're tired of fighting with your teen and aren't sure what to do next, let's talk.

Book a FREE Gameplan Call with me. We'll look at what's happening in your family, where you're getting stuck, and what you can do differently.

No pressure. Just a chance to figure out your next step.

https://benpughcoaching.com/mini

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question"

Does your teen put off homework until the last minute, then somehow get it all done in a rush?

Maybe you're tired of reminding him, checking his grades, and watching him fall further behind.

But what if your teen's procrastination isn't all bad?

What if there's actually a skill hiding inside it?

In this episode of IMPACT! Parenting with Perspective, I'm sharing a simple strategy I call Reverse Procrastination.

I recently worked with a teen who was always putting off her schoolwork. She'd wait until the last minute, stress about everything she needed to do, and then rush to get it done.

Instead of giving her another planner, more rules, or a lecture about being responsible, we tried something different.

And it worked!

Within a week, she was caught up in all her classes. School felt easier, and she actually had MORE free time.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why your teen might be better at getting things done than you think.
• The hidden skill inside procrastination that most parents overlook.
• How Reverse Procrastination can help your teen get things done sooner.
• Why putting things off often steals the freedom your teen is trying to protect.
• How to help your teen change his habits without nagging, lecturing, or taking control.

Here's the big takeaway: Your teen might not need a whole new system. He might just need to use what already works in a different order.

And you can help him discover that without turning homework into another power struggle.

Want help with your teen?

If homework, missing assignments, or procrastination have become a constant battle in your house, let's talk.

Book a FREE Gameplan Call, and we'll look at what's happening with your teen and what you can do differently.

https://benpughcoaching.com/mini

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question"

What do you do when your teen is struggling, but he doesn’t want help?

Maybe he won’t talk to you. Maybe he refuses therapy or coaching. Maybe he doesn’t even think there’s a problem.

That can leave you feeling scared, stuck, and desperate to get through to him.

But trying harder to fix your teen may not be the best place to start.

In this episode, I’ll show you what you can do when your teen refuses help. We’ll talk about the difference between real danger and normal struggle, why parents often make things worse by jumping to the worst-case scenario, and how to stop treating your teen like he is the problem.

You’ll also learn how to show more trust, let your teen own more of his struggle, and become a calmer, safer leader in the process.

Most of all, you’ll learn why your teen does not have to change first before things can start getting better.

If you feel like your teen is shutting you out, making choices you don’t understand, or refusing the help you think he needs, this episode is for you.

Want help with your specific situation? Book a free Gameplan Call at benpughcoaching.com/mini.

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question"

Your teen probably doesn’t need more rules.

And he probably doesn’t need harsher consequences either.

What he may need is better leadership.

In this episode, I share three simple ideas that changed the way I led as a high school principal and still shape the way I parent and coach today:

Model. Connect. Involve.

You’ll learn why trying to control your teen can actually make things harder, why connection matters before there’s a problem, and how involving your teen can build more responsibility and trust.

We’ll also talk about how to stop trying to fix everything for your teen and start focusing on what you can actually control.

If you feel like you’re always reminding, correcting, arguing, or trying to get your teen to do what he should be doing, this episode will give you a simpler place to start.

You don’t have to control your teen to lead him.

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question"

What do better boundaries with your teen actually look like?

A lot of parents think better boundaries mean more rules, bigger consequences, or finally getting their teen to listen.

But that’s not the goal.

Better boundaries are about getting clear on what belongs to you, what belongs to your teen, and what happens when an agreement isn’t followed.

In this episode, I’ll show you what starts to change when boundaries get better.

You’ll learn:

• Why better boundaries are not about controlling your teen
• How to stop carrying responsibility that belongs to him
• Why your teen can disagree with a boundary and it can still be a good boundary
• How clearer agreements can reduce arguing and confusion
• Why giving your teen a voice does not mean giving him control
• How to decide consequences before everyone is upset
• How better boundaries can lead to less nagging, less reacting, and more responsibility

Your teen may still push back.

He may still complain.

He may still think the boundary is stupid.

But that does not mean the boundary failed.

The goal is not to control your teen. The goal is to lead with more clarity, stay grounded, and help your teen carry more responsibility for his own choices.

If you want help building this in your home, Boundaries with Buy-In is open now.

Learn more at benpughcoaching.com/bwb

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question"

Does your teen question everything, push back, argue, or seem determined to do things his own way?

That strong will can be exhausting.

But it might also become one of his greatest strengths.

In this episode, Ben shares why your goal isn’t to break your teen’s will. It’s to help him learn how to use it.

You’ll learn why strong-willed teens often struggle with traditional control, why compliance isn’t the same as maturity, and how better boundaries can help your teen build responsibility.

Ben also shares what coaching football has taught him about stubborn kids, why power struggles can make things worse, and how giving your teen a voice can actually make boundaries easier to hold.

If you’re tired of arguing, reminding, threatening, or trying to win every battle, this episode will help you see your teen differently.

Your strong-willed teen may not need more control.

He may need better leadership, better boundaries, and more chances to take responsibility for his own life.

Boundaries with Buy-In opens September 21.

Join the priority list at:
benpughcoaching.com/boundarieswithbuyin

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question"

You know what to do.

Stay calm. Don’t take it personally. Get curious. Hold the boundary.

But then your teen pushes back, rolls his eyes, ignores you, or says something disrespectful...

And suddenly, all those parenting tools seem to disappear.

In this episode, Ben explains why knowing what to do with your teen isn’t the same as being able to do it when things get hard.

You’ll learn why pressure brings out old habits, why more parenting advice may not be the answer, and how to practice new skills before you need them.

Ben also shares a story about breaking his arm twice while pretending to be Superman, plus what coaching freshman football has taught him about parenting under pressure.

You’ll learn:

• Why knowing better doesn’t always mean doing better
• Why parents fall back into old habits during hard moments
• How to practice parenting skills when things are calm
• Why repetition matters more than learning one more tool
• How coaching can help you see what’s hard to see in the moment

If you ever think, “I know better than this. Why do I keep doing the same thing?” this episode is for you.

And if boundaries keep turning into battles in your home, join Ben for his free Boundaries Workshop.

Go to:

benpughcoaching.com/freeboundariesworkshop

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz