Connexions

Do you know what patterns mean?

Do you know what patterns of behaviors mean?

Patterns of Distortion

Do you know that you are the one who enables patterns both in Truth and in distortion?

There would not be patterns of distortion if you were not enabling or allowing them.

Do you want those patterns to stop?

Are you willing to look at yourself and create patterns in Truth rather than patterns of distortion?

That is the question.

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Let's talk about values. What are values? Values are what is important to you. Values are what you hold in your heart and then reflect into the world.

Maybe you value having a thousand-thread count in your sheets. Maybe you value having a body that is really athletically built and you spent time and maybe money building your body to be really great at performing in sports. Maybe you value going out and picking your own pumpkin out of your own garden that you planted with your own hands and grew from seed, and now you are going to make pumpkin pie out of it and you do that every fall with your grandchildren. Maybe that is something you value. Now Values can change over time. I know at one point in my life I really valued sitting down at the piano and practicing for an hour. That was really important to me. However, that isn't important to me anymore. I don't value that like I used to. So values can fluctuate, and values can change. Values can also be in distortion. So I could value something really distorted like: "I can hold a grudge longer than anybody else," or "I drive the fastest car in the neighborhood so that means I'm better than everybody else." I could also value something very denigrating like: "I have the ugliest feet and I spend so much time looking at my feet thinking that they are so ugly, they are so big, they don't fit with the rest of my body and so I value beating myself up." A lot of people today value beating themselves up, It's really sad.

If you value principles of Truth, now you are getting into character. This is where character is built. When you take your own personal values and project them onto principles of Truth. So it would sound like this: "I value being honest," "I value being responsible," "I value being kind to people around me," "I value forgiving," "I value being humble and looking at myself and asking 'Are there things in my life I need to change?'" Character is built when principles of Truth become a person's values. That is so important! If you want to be a person of high moral character, then you MUST, you must value principles of Truth.

So today we are going to talk all about a woman who does not have values in her life. Now, this is a scary place to be and here's why it's scary to not have values. Values offer direction. Values give a left or a right, they give a calibration as to "You are really really hot here" or "You are really really cold here." So it gives you a place to measure yourself. Now without a standard of measurement, it is really hard to know if you are off if you don't even know what side you are facing or if you don't even know what direction you are standing. Having a value says "Ooh ooh, you need to make some adjustments here" which is good! It's wonderful to get feedback from yourself so you can go "Okay, I do feel off. I'm going to go back and I'm going to change that" or "I'm going to go back and I'm going to repent" or "I'm going to go back and make some adjustments." When you don't have values, you don't know when you are off and what you end up doing is reverting to other people around you to tell you what to do. That is what is going on with this woman who writes us today. She has no values and so she is susceptible to being manipulated by her children and by others around her.

If you want to be solid and don't want to be manipulated. You have to have values. I would also encourage you to make sure those values are based in principles of honesty, responsibility and humility.

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My sister is making destructive, distorted and distracting choices and I want to stop her.

How do I help her? How do I control what is happening? What is my responsibility?

"This is difficult!" Does this sound familiar? That someone is doing something and you want them to STOP!

Listen to the podcast and learn what is your responsibility and what is not your responsibility.

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I'm sure you have all heard of the term "Doormat". This is someone who allows and permits others to treat them badly to walk all over them. This person does not stand up for themselves and just goes along with the choices and abuses of people around them.

The doormat is actually a person who has double standards. A person who is dishonest, so you can have an opinion but I can't. Others can have preferences and wants but mine are obsolete. I need to watch my tone of voice but others can yell and shriek. The person who's being the doormat (and maybe that's you) is perpetuating a lie, the lie that someone needs to be the martyr in order for there to be order. Someone needs to take the blame, somebody needs to take the fall and somebody needs to take the higher road in order for everyone to get along. That is a lie.

The Truth is, if there is going to be an environment of mutual trust and respect, then every individual needs to be honest, every individual needs to show up responsible and humble. Nobody is shouldering the blame, no one is shouldering the abuse or covering for someone else, dropping empathy, compassion and awareness.

When the doormat finally stands up and begins taking responsibility and begins to expect others to also take responsibility. It may look like all of a sudden there is dust and dirt and a huge mess being made all over the floor. But the Truth is, that dust and dirt and mess has always been there, you (the doormat) were covering it up. The doormat is the ultimate controller. The doormat keeps everyone else's selfishness a secret. That's why people like using a doormat, that's why people like using you because you are so willing to hide their distortions.

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What does the word "Relationship" mean?

What are the characteristics of one?

Once you understand the word and the meaning of relationships and you practice living and behaving principles of Truth,

you will see and know very clearly what you would like to choose and how you will choose to behave inside of one.

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What length would you go to, to keep your child protected?

I've heard many parents say, "I would give my life for my child,"

"I would throw myself in front of a bus if I knew it would save the life of my child,"

"I would take a bullet for them."

All of these axioms are referring to the physical "I'll put my life on the altar if it will help my child."

How many of you are willing to confront another loved one if it keeps your child safe?

I know of a woman who knew that her brother was hugging her daughters to the point they felt it was uncomfortable, too close, too much and his hands were moving around too much. Her own daughters came to her saying it was uncomfortable, nasty and creepy when their uncle came to town and gave them hugs.

Would you go to that for these girls?

Would you put a boundary down and say "You know what, no more visiting this brother of mine"?

Would you also put a boundary down with the brother and say "You can't come to our house anymore and you're not going to be hugging my girls anymore"?

How many of you would be willing to confront and be uncomfortable in order to keep your child emotionally and spiritually safe?

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Where do you stand on the issue of abortion?

Do you see abortion as killing a child or do you call it ridding one's body of cell tissue?

The Truth is, abortion is and always will be the slaughter of innocent life. Period. The end.

Where do you stand? Are you desiring to live in Truth?

Come and listen to the reality of what abortion is and how abortion affects those involved.

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I'm the mother of six children, I have been in the trenches for twenty years and I am just beginning to peek my head up and I can see the dust is beginning to settle.

I'm starting to see the sun for the first time and my energy is beginning to be restored to me.

I'm a personal witness to you that the work and great sacrifice involved with nurturing and raising children is very much worth it.

So when I was in the middle of having lots of littles and none of them were tying their shoes and most of them were in diapers. I wrote my own obituary.

"Ruby Franke, cause of death unknown, detectives searched for clues amid piles of dress-ups, picture books, bath toys and an astonishing number of legos and empty Oreo packages.

Medical personnel speculate toxic diaper fumes or suffocation by laundry, others believe her wallet grew so tight it literally strangled her. She has survived by her husband Kevin, who is himself, barely keeping his head above water. Warning to readers, ambushes of children may be dangerous to your health."

Now I share this writing with the motive to relate to other mothers who are also in the trenches. A spoon-full of humor can help the reality go down. I want to be clear, I want to point out how much "victim" I was in when I wrote this piece of satire. I was feeling sorry for myself and I felt that I was the target of half-a-dozen hoodlums. The Truth is, the rewards of motherhood are directly correlated to the amount of sacrifice required.

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Technology is a reality in today's world. It provides an amazing opportunity for us to use our agency and live in Truth as we govern technology.

If each of us doesn't know how to manage ourselves in Truth, the technology will be misused and people will go into distortion. Come learn how to manage yourself, your children and the technology.

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When was the last time you took your family, your children or grandchildren to the movie theater and enjoyed a family movie where there wasn't encoded, encrypted, subliminal messaging in the background?

It used to be that movies encouraged children to be obedient to parents and now movies are encouraging children to break free from so-called restrictive family beliefs, family practices or family traditions, where parents could once rely on movies as a source of fun, entertainment, a sense of humor, a real break from life.

We can now count on movies to put a wedge, to insert entitlement, to promote attitudes of restriction and resentment for boundaries.

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