Another glorious week for the good guys—conservatives are on a winning streak so hot, Greta Thunberg might demand we turn the thermostat down.

Meanwhile, Democrats are crapping their pants with no fresh pair of underwear in sight—because the Department of Diversity Laundry Services was defunded, and worse, Hegseth has removed the gender-neutral tampon machines in the Pentagon.

Let’s run down the scoreboard:

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