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Conversations About...
Conversations About... episodes
- Dating Q + A ... commitment, intimacy, deal breakers & more!
A roundtable discussion about healthy dating with four of the CHR team! Join our conversation about the nuances, questions and perspectives surrounding dating and romantic relationships.
Discussion Questions:
- What is dating? How do you define it? What is it and what is it not in your perspective?
- How do you think about commitment in a dating relationship? How do you balance being committed to the relationship while also leaving room to break up if that is the healthiest thing to do?
- What are the factors that influence a healthy dating relationship?
- What are your "deal breakers"? How do you find the balance between having grace for an imperfect person and maintaining high standards?
- How do you think about emotional intimacy in the context of a dating relationship? Is there a perfect timeline to follow? What is your relationship built on top of?
https://chr.jbu.edu/on-campus
56 min - holistic growth in college - how expectations shape the experience & getting connected
Relational and social growth are key to holistic development
in college, and having a growth mindset allows you to lean in to new challenges.Kendra and Courtney talk through how expectations shape the way we show up to an experience and how to face the challenges of getting
connected head on.Connect with CHR and find more resources
Article: Fostering College Student Mental Health and Resilience
Discussion questions
What are some expectations about finding community that you have (had) coming into college?
How do your expectations about making friends shape the way you enter into that process?
In what ways do you think you could develop more of a growth mindset in terms of facing challenges of holistic development during college?
What are a few areas of support that you could lean into as you establish community?
42 min - facing conflict - how to engage in healthy conflict
Kendra and Kristin talk about how the way we engage in conflict can determine the health of our relationships. Hear about default conflict styles, relational safety and tips for finding resolutions!
Discussion Questions for reflection:
How has one of your relationships been made stronger by navigating through conflict?
Which conflict style do you think suits you the most? What does this tell you about the ways you typically engage in conflict?
Have you seen conflict as an opportunity to move towards stronger relationships, or as something that hinders connection?
What’s one step you could take in your next relational conflict that would allow for a stronger outcome?
How could you look for the markers of safety within your relationships when thinking about how to navigate conflict?
Further Resources:
7 Steps for Collaborative Conflict Resolution, Worksheet
https://chr.jbu.edu/resources
Gottman Institute blog about conflict:
https://www.gottman.com/blog/conflict-normal-natural-part-happily-ever/
Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Styles assessment:
https://www.mtdtraining.com/blog/thomas-kilmann-conflict-management-model.htm
Gottman’s on Unlocking Us with Brene Brown: https://brenebrown.com/podcast/the-love-prescription-part-1-of-3/
Four Horsemen Article: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/
41 min - parents & adult children - maintaining healthy relationships with parents when kids leave the nest
Kendra talks with her Dad about the relationship between emerging adults and their parents. Particularly as kids go off to college, how can both show grace to each other and navigate this season of change.
Find more resources & get connected here!
37 min - making decisions - as a single person or as a married couple
Kendra talks with Amy Smithwick and Norlee Flaaten about how to make big decisions. Amy focuses on making decisions as a single young adult, and Norlee talks about how married couples can make decisions together.
Find more resources & get connected here!
Discussion Questions:
1. How have you made big decisions in the past?
2. Do you tend to trust your "gut" or your logic more naturally?
3. Have you felt isolated in making decisions? Who has been helpful for your process?
4. How does your spouse influence your decisions and how do you both make sure your voices are heard?
5. Who would be someone (other than your spouse) who might be beneficial for you to process with?
47 min - married students - what research says & why it matters
Kendra interviews Kristin about her research on married college students, Kristin's personal experience, and
why it matters to have this conversation, whether you are married or not!Discussion Questions with your friends:
1. What word or phrase comes up for you when you think about being married in college?
2. Why if at all do you think this is an important conversation both for students who are married, and who are not?
3. What stands out to you most about the needs assessment themes Kristin discussed? Why do you think that stood out to you?
4. What positives can you think of related to being married in college?
5. What could you do to support your friends who are married? What could you do to support your friends who are not married?
6. How can you seek to understand your neighbor first before seeking to be understood?
7. What does it look like to be a catalyst for change in your own community regarding this conversation?
Get involved in Married Student Life @ JBU!
More resources and quotes from Kristin's research
49 min - forgiveness – finding freedom through giving & accepting forgiveness
Forgiveness is a critical part of relationships, and
understanding what it is – and what it’s not – helps us find freedom. Rosemary shares about what she’s learned about forgiveness through her own life and what Scripture says about how it can transform us and our relationships.Further Resources
Rosemary's Chapel Message (From February 8, 2024)
https://chr.jbu.edu/contact
27 min - psychological safety - cultivating thriving teams & creating conditions for everyone to be heard
What is psychological safety, why does it matter, and how can leaders intentionally pursue it for the benefit of their teams? Kendra talks with Cameron Spencer about the answers to these questions.
Further Resources
Simon Sinek Ted Talk - "How great leaders inspire action"
The Other Half of Church
Adam Grant's Podcast - ReThinking
How leaders can promote psychological safety within their team:
Set the vision. Why are we here?
Make the ground rules. What are the guidelines for engagement?
Pre-validate. Let them know their voice matters.
Model humanness. People need to know they can make mistakes.
Be intentional for input.
Be humble in your responses.
Follow up.
41 min - relationships & worship - what is worship and how does worship uniquely impact our relationships and communities
Kristin interviews John Brown University's Director of Worship Arts & Pastoral Care to hear his story and have a conversation about what worship is and how worship allows us to press into healthy relationships, how worship impacts our communities, and what it means to be a pastoral presence in our relationships even as people that are not professional pastors.
Be sure to check out all our resources below and leave a 5-star review if you like what you're hearing!
For further resources on this topic
check out:Pastoral Counseling - James Dittes
Wounded Healer - Henri Nouwen
The Pastor - Eugene Peterson
Unceasing Worship - Harold Best
A Body of Praise - David Taylor
The Liturgy of the Ordinary - Tish Harrison Warren
Discussion questions for reflection
with your friends:- What comes to mind when you think of worship, especially in the context of the definition Connor gave us?
- Do you think we need community, why or why not?
- If you have a relationship with Christ, how if at all, have you seen that impact your relationships?
- How if at all does worship draw us closer to the people we are in community with?
- In light of this conversation what is a way you can seek to be more intentional and present with the people you are around?
53 min - Interview with Dr. Glahn - her life, work & faithful pursuit of Jesus
Rosemary Flaaten interviews Dr. Sandra Glahn about her work as a Biblical scholar and her background. Dr. Glahn was a guest speaker for International Women's Day in March 2024, and this interview was part of the 'Where I Come From' luncheon series on the JBU campus.
43 min
About Conversations About...
From the publisher's feed
From the Center for Healthy Relationships at John Brown University...Conversations About is here talking all things healthy relationships. We're here to open the doors to conversations that are real,…
honest, research based and with a Christian Ethos. Each episode will dive into a topic that impacts relationships of all kinds. Timely topics, fun guests and the invitation to continue important conversations beyond the episode.