“Conversations from my Duvet”

Welcome to my French holiday in 2018. My space at ‘home’, back in the homeland, trying to feel myself back within MY actual home first and foremost - my body. My Earthly vessel. Here, I take a moment to explore the concept of living life by following and doing what gives us PLEASURE as opposed to PRESSURE. There’s so much engrained in us - and even if we explore the pleasure aspect as a woman... pleasure makes you fat, a whore, selfish, lustful. Basically, a bit too exotic and out there. WHAT????????????? How about allowing the pleasure - like the doughnut, the saying NO to the thing that we feel we OUGHT to do because if we don’t, it will offend, but then all we feel is wretched with ourselves because we know we are having a shit time and our body knows it and on top of this we will add the GUILT and SHAME that we are not STRONG or BRAVE ENOUGH to stand up for ourselves. Guess what. You are. You are. ENOUGH. A work in progress. Never finished, never perfect and brave to embark on the questions of where YOU STAND on the subject of PLEASURE AND PRESSURE. Enough said. Enjoy. Thank you for being here on this 2018 ride. Follow my 2020 ride on Instagram @therestgirl Apple platform listeners, I would be so grateful for your review, observations- if these words are impacting you, KNOW that they will impact another woman asking those same questions. Truth and authenticity is what I am about and I want to reach the hearts of millions of women. If we can be the change inside of us, we will will change the world. Numbers my sisters, numbers. Thank you xxx

Right here, right now, in this moment of when I am publishing this podcast episode on the 4th June 2020, in the UK we are slowly easing the ‘lockdown’ restrictions. Whatever your experience of this powerful moment in your lifetime, I hope it brought you to your knees at least once. That moment of deep loss of whatever that represents for you, where there is no option but to meet it, because it is in those deep feeling moments that a gateway of choice opens. Your opportunity to choose to make a change from here on in. A tiny change, a bit change, whatever that may be: job, kids, money, relationship, self esteem. I hope you allowed yourself to release into the discomfort. The discomfort helps us to KNOW. What matters. In this period of 2020, the past few days have been about reflection over race. Privilege - what it means. A silence over social media for black voices to rise. Once again, an opportunity to look in the mirror at our preconceived ideas, at where we are in the space of being ready to hear peoples truths, or not. Back in the world of Conversations from my Duvet (the diary entries from 2018 which I publish on exactly the same day in 2020), there was a pause for 4 days. Here I am right here, right now, absolutely AMAZED at the parallel universe situation. The silence, the pause, partly because in 2018, at that time, our family was taking a two day drive down to the South of France to stay with my family, but also because I was dropped into an environnement where I was conscious of needing to rest and not post anything on social media. In my 2018 diary entry, a universal message - “I’m not feeling what I want to say at the moment”. So, while I feel this moment of natural instinctive pause, I will feel into it before I speak. This brings me right up to today, in 2020, when it may be that we have felt we have had to say things on the current situation when we haven’t allowed ourselves the time to really digest it because we have seen everyone on social media stick on black squares. Our reaction upon seeing this tumbling of squares like a house of cards was either: 1) pressure to add one because it would look complicit to racism if we didn’t, or 2) a genuine feeling of the only way we could express solidarity. Either way - know there is only one way for you, and this is YOUR WAY. When you get off the fucking merry go round of relying on everyone else’s actions and opinions in order to determine yours. No matter how long it takes you, take the time to make the time to feel into your pain, your discomfort, your joy. Your wobbly spots and go into your heart, your body... your KNOWING WHAT’S RIGHT AND CONGRUENT WITHIN YOU. This, my dear friends, is YOUR TRUTH. This is your way to effective, loving change, because you begin to change inside of you. Feel before you speak. Feel before you speak. Thank you for hearing me.

Here we go, last one for May... tighten your seat belts - this one may be a little bit cringe... for whom? Me? You? I’m all about truth. There’s nothing in this episode that Mark doesn’t know already. He listens to this, by the way. He isn’t quite up to date, but he knows this one is coming up. Let’s get to the wisdom of this episode: when we look for a ‘partner’, how many times have we caught ourselves chatting with girlfriends about what our ‘type’ is? The tick box. Have we dug into where we got this ‘type’ from? And why certain attributes are important to us? I know Mark is a mixture of me receiving what I asked for (did I ask without asking?!?) and him being sent in all his bedraggled glory to really test my powers of trust in my intuition and deep gut sensation... We all love a good “how did you meet story” - know this, there is no perfect way. When I met him and I wasn’t swept off my feet, I remember googling “is it meant to be if i don’t fancy him straight away?”. Just goes to show how we are always searching for guidance outside... yet... I knew to not sack him off straight away. Enjoy. It’s the last one for a few days before we head into our June 2018 universal adventures xxxx

Major dream sequence time - I absolutely LOVE dreams. Who hasn’t googled “dream meaning” ever? It’s not really until I did my Yoga Nidra course and we explored that realm of liminal space that the beauty of dreams really revealed itself. You see, it’s never so much about the detail - more the theme and overall sensation. These days, I write my dreams down first thing - whatever i can remember. Be it detail or prevalent sensations/colours/numbers... I don’t analyse them. I know that my dream space is where everything that needs to process is given the vessel, the cooking pot of my sleep to breathe, to air, in it’s beautiful fantastical way. I’m also open to receive signs too. Anyway, back to this episode, from the Sophie of 2018, who clearly was subconsciously expressing the old life of working in the police versus the new possibilities. In my dream space, where the depths of me was feeling out my impending thoughts on whether to apply for a career break or not. I’m definitely in love with Stop Thinking, Feel. Whether awake or asleep xxx Please leave me a review on Apple Podcasts, either episode specific or an overview of how you are receiving the podcast. This is not merely for my ego (!) I mean it when I say that those words, written back then, are UNIVERSAL. It’s the sharing of true stories that effects and affects change. If it’s effecting change in you, it will do so for another woman. Sending you huge love, Sophie xxx

This ones a bit longer - and rightly so - this subject fires me up. It did back then, when I wrote the words, fresh on my 2018 page and NOW, in May 2020. This is the one for you: woman. Powerful, soft, denied, suppressed, misunderstood, ‘misogynised’ and undervalued. You, me, and every other woman who needs to feel and hear that we are WORTHY OF IT ALL. Our bodies are beds of pleasure - all the senses. Even if you took the sexual element out of it - it’s in our curves, our swagger, our jangly bits, those are just a tiny part of the sweet sweet nectar. This body is your pleasure palace, for you. This body, this heart, this soul: is your power - once you see that for millennia, a world has been crafted in order to make us feel less than; “here: shave your legs, hide your curves, for if you show them, you’re a slut.” Fuck that big old load of bollocks. Right off. We are immense. This is the era of emotional intelligence. We are pros at this - the more of us break out of these corseted shells, the more opportunity for planet earth and its ‘governance’ to regain her equilibrium. Bleeding is the source, the root, the beginning of it all. It’s the story of woman.

Hold on to your horses - the ride on the rainbow up to Fizzland has commenced! This is the sane madness that takes hold when you get a feel for the free drugs that the simple beauty of life has on offer. When in a moment, the whole world and its why reveals itself to you. From making love to religion and women and family and patriarchy, this episode is immense. The wisdom: FEAR IS BLOCKING EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING. Read it again. And feel. Having these crystal clear clarity moments are like a multiple orgasm: rare, and accessible only when you stop giving a single shit and let yourself go into the pleasure of the simple moment.

I’m repeating this Mantra of “Stop Thinking and Feel” quite a lot. It came from the depths, and it made sense. It made sense because when I drop into the feeling, I ‘read’ the situation on a totally different level. When I think, I find the answers I come up with to rationalise the thing I’m thinking about come from the opinion of others. When I’m in the ‘feel’ mode, it’s another planet of exploration, and as a language, it’s delicious. It’s mine. There’s a shift with these episodes, this and the ones coming up. Tiredness was something affecting me constantly, and here, I declare my love for Yoga Nidra. This practice, this ancient sacred practice of rest which will eventually lead me into becoming ‘The Rest Girl’ - this practice opening up the dreams within. I challenge you today, when there’s a decision coming up, WHATEVER THIS MAY BE... stop thinking about what you should do; feel into what your body, your intuition, is guiding you to. Make note. Will you listen? Do you trust? Be honest. Lots of love and thanks an absolute bunch for listening. If you are appreciating my daily offerings to you, please leave me a review. Please mention this podcast to friends by sharing and tagging me far and wide. If it matters to you and helps you, it will matter to someone else too. Sophie xxx

Welcome to the beginning of a shift taking place back in May 2018. The incredibly powerful synchronicity is that EXACTLY the same is happening now, in May 2020. I am on the eve on a huge shift, only this time, it’s deeper. I urge you to note your feelings down, however you choose - I guarantee there will be patterns, threads, coincidences, ways you do things that will surprise you. Investing in yourself by carrying out investigations into YOUR who, what, why, where, how is the most powerful and rewarding journey/adventure you will ever go on. It never ends - you are always learning, there’s always a surprising twist around the corner. This episode’s theme came out of spending time in one of my favourite places - alone. Medicine for the soul. Writing down the ways i can treat myself like a precious object in order to be the best version of myself. I invite you to journal on this too. Go, wax lyrical. Don’t wait for others to surprise you, SURPRISE YOURSELF.

This one is a bit like Easter. I woke up and was rolled out of the dark cave. My baby was brought to me and milk miraculously came out of my breasts to feed her with. Life is a gift. To live is a gift. I know I got to the gates - I saw them. Yet, I travelled back Earthside. I don’t need to know the science of what happened in my body. I’m grateful to science for bringing me here. Now I know I have shizzle to stir fry. This interlude ends with this episode, after which we will be back into the parallel universe of 2018, on the eve of the awakening.............. what is she on?!?!?!?!? You have to give me a shout out if any of this is striking a chord - that’s the whole point. I am not just one voice. I speak and from one voice, another speaks, and another, and another, and another and then what do you know??? We have strength in numbers. Then we can get to work. Lots of love, Sophie xxx

Episode follows on from Part 1. This one comes with a warning signal. Emotional content covering my near death experience of post partum bleeding. You choose whether or not you want to hear this story. You can go in, or stay in the overview and join back in with part 3. A ton of love to you and thank you for being on this immense journey with... not just me... but with yourselves xxxxx