A Fresh Story, season 4, episode 4

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and we’re honored to hold space for these profound stories. These stories may be of grief, but they are also of hope, resilience, and most of all, unconditional love. As a reminder, be gentle with your heart, and if you are not able to listen to this episode at the moment, we understand and we are holding you close. We know these conversations will change you as they have changed us.

Nikki Dinki is a chef, author, mom, TV Host, and comedy writer. I was first introduced to Nikki when she was on Food Network Star in 2013. She seemed so lovely, relatable, and sweet (spoiler alert: she is). She seemed like someone I’d be friends with. I was pregnant with my first son at the time I watched her on Food Network Star, and so when she announced that she too was pregnant on the season 9 finale, I was so excited for her. My son was born in August, and in the flurry of new parenthood, I forgot that Nikki’s child was also due. Months went by, and I started to worry, where was Nikki? Where was the baby?

And, then I saw this post on her website. Willa had been stillborn, on her due date, November 25th, 2013. I will never forget reading about the Lemonade Cheesecakes for Willa, and I never forgot Nikki or Willa. My heart broke for her, and I thought often of her and Willa.

In the years since, Nikki and I bopped around the same media circles and when it came time to produce this series, I knew I had to talk to Nikki. I wanted to know more about her journey after loss, and of course, about sweet Willa. Almost 10 years later, Nikki describes every moment so honestly, and with such grace and reverence for her daughter. We talked about the quiet that comes with a stillbirth, and how she kept going after Willa’s passing, with work – and the incredible importance of mementos. We chatted about how she feels so connected to her daughter and how Willa is with them every day. Nikki’s courage, humor, and love for her daughter is palpable, and I was so grateful to get to spend the time with her and Willa.

You can read some of Nikki’s recipes and stories here:

Nikki, thank you for sharing Willa with us all. We will remember her always.

You can find Nikki on Twitter and Instagram, TikTok, and her website. Check out her newest cookbook, More Veggies Please!