When Trystan Reese received a call from a social worker about two toddlers in need of a home, he and his partner made a decision that would change everything—they said yes. What followed was a beautifully complex journey into parenthood as a transgender man, one shaped by love, learning, and the fierce desire to build a family rooted in connection. In this moving episode, Trystan shares the raw truth of what it means to step into fatherhood unexpectedly, the realities of parenting in a world that doesn’t always recognize your family, and the emotional weight—and joy—of keeping siblings together through adoption.
From navigating societal perceptions to advocating for his children's needs in educational systems, Trystan opens up about the challenges that come with being a trans parent in a non-normative family structure. He speaks to the incremental nature of change within the trans community, and the power of community support in weathering both personal and political storms. Through tender reflections on blended family dynamics, teenhood, and partnership under pressure, Trystan brings a deeply human voice to the layered experience of LGBTQ+ parenting.
This episode isn’t just about one family—it’s a reflection of many. It’s about redefining what parenthood looks like, reshaping narratives around trans identity and family creation, and recognizing that support, advocacy, and love are the cornerstones of every kind of family. Whether you’re parenting through challenge, creating a family that looks different, or simply seeking stories that honor both the struggle and the triumph, Trystan’s journey will leave you deeply moved and powerfully seen.
Check out Trystan Reese’s book, How We Do Family: From Adoption to Trans Pregnancy, What We Learned about Love and LGBTQ Parenthood.
Check out Trystan’s website: https://collaborate.consulting/trystan-reese
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Olivia Howell:
Welcome back to A Fresh Story! This season, we’re diving into what makes a family—blended, chosen, unexpected—and we’re thrilled to be joined today by someone incredibly special. Trystan Reese is a transgender man, a father of three, and an advocate who’s been shaping the cultural conversation around LGBTQ+ family life for years. I first connected with Trystan when I was doing marketing for a gender-neutral children’s clothing company and instantly thought, this is the perfect family to work with. We’ve been internet friends ever since, and when we started planning this season, Trystan was the first name on our list.
Trystan Reese:
Thanks so much for having me. I live in Portland, Oregon, I’m a dad to three incredible kids, and I’m also a small business owner. My journey into parenting started when my partner and I—just a year into our relationship—got a call from a social worker about his sister’s kids. They were being removed from their home, and if we didn’t step up, the kids would likely be separated and adopted into different families. We were 24 and 26 at the time, living in a one-bedroom apartment, and suddenly we were parenting a one- and three-year-old.
Jenny:
That’s such a huge shift—from new relationship to full-on parenting, overnight.
Trystan:
Absolutely. It was a massive adjustment. I was raised in a home that always had kids coming and going—friends, foster kids, chosen family—so for me, it was a yes right away. My partner took a little longer to process what this would mean. They said, “If we’re doing this, it has to be stable. You have to stick with me as long as they’re with us.” That was the deal, and 13 years later, we’re still all together.
Olivia Howell:
That’s a beautiful evolution of family. And eventually, you decided to carry and give birth to your third child—Leo?
Trystan:
Yes. I was about five years into parenting when the idea of a biological child became a real possibility. In the trans community, this wasn’t shocking—trans men have been giving birth for decades. But outside that space, it felt radical. I was really clear with every journalist I worked with: I am not the first trans man to have a baby, and I don’t want to be labeled as such. What I wanted was to add nuance to the public story of what it means to be a trans parent—to show the love, the commitment, and yes, the very real challenges.
Jenny:
And your older kids—how did they react to the news?
Trystan:
Mixed reactions! Our daughter was excited. She wanted someone to teach, dress up, and boss around—which she still does. Our oldest son was more uncertain. He was worried the baby would get more love because they’d be biologically related. That’s something we worked through together, and honestly, we still do. Blended families have so many layers.
Olivia Howell:
You’re navigating all of that while doing advocacy work, raising a neurodivergent teen, and living in a world that’s increasingly hostile toward trans people. How do you keep going?
Trystan:
I remind myself that we can do hard things—and that my community has done them before. We’re still here. I lean into my ancestors’ resilience, my kids’ joy, and the belief that sharing these stories creates real change.
