Conversations That Heal

Stop Self-Abandonment: How I Learned to Set Boundaries, Trust Myself, and Say No | Dr. Stephanie Jeffreys

In this episode, I talk about self-abandonment as a coping mechanism I learned from being taught to play small and believe that my voice didn’t matter. I walk through what that has looked like in my own life, saying yes when I really wanted to say no, staying in draining relationships, prioritizing everyone else’s needs, and consistently showing up for people who didn’t reciprocate. Somewhere along the way, I lost trust in myself.

I share how my experiences are valid, but they don’t have to define my entire story. I’ve learned to start paying attention to my body, what it’s telling me when something doesn’t feel right, and to get honest about why I say yes when I really want to say no. I’m learning to honor my preferences without feeling the need to justify them.

I also walk through practical steps that have helped me rebuild trust with myself: following through on what matters to me, setting small boundaries, and beginning to say no to anything that doesn’t value or honor me. Because I’ve realized that self-abandonment doesn’t just go away, it turns into resentment and leaves me feeling taken for granted.

I invite you into a seven-day exercise I’ve practiced, where you begin to track the “yeses” you want to change and slowly start choosing yourself.

And as always, I close with a prayer—for healing, for growth, and for the courage to finally stop abandoning yourself.

On this episode of Conversations That Heal, I sit down with JaHana Holloway to have a powerful and honest conversation about abuse that goes beyond physical signs, emotional, psychological, verbal, and financial abuse.

JaHana shares her story with deep vulnerability, taking us back to her childhood, where she ran away at just 14 and was coerced by an adult. She opens up about how those early experiences shaped her sense of self, leading to boundarylessness, low self-esteem, promiscuity, early motherhood, and a pattern of toxic relationships and trauma bonds.

She walks us through the abrupt ending of her marriage in 2020, which became the catalyst for her healing journey. She speaks candidly about the gaslighting, hidden debt, and manipulation she endured forms of abuse that are often invisible to others. Her breaking point came through infidelity and financial deception, forcing her to confront the truth and choose herself.

JaHana reminds us that healing is ongoing. She emphasizes the importance of trusting your intuition and listening to your body, setting firm boundaries, and doing the deeper work, inner child and shadow work, alongside therapy.

She also shares about her poetry and journaling book, Metamorphosis, and her Hikari Healing Space, where she creates safe environments for healing through yoga, sound bowl therapy, and intentional circles for both women and men.

This conversation is a reminder that not all wounds are visible, but they are real, and healing is possible.

Connect with JaHana

Facebook: JaHana Holloway | Facebook

Instagram: JaHana Holloway (@vibewithjahana)

TikTok: JaHana Holloway (@taurusgoddess333) | TikTok

https://linktr.ee/jahanaholloway

In this episode of Conversations That Heal, I talk about survival mode, the way many of us learned to function just to make it through life. For me, survival started early. I didn’t have the option to fall apart. I had to be strong, responsible, and aware of everything around me. But what helped me survive then, followed me into adulthood.

I share how survival mode can show up as overachieving, overextending, and always feeling the need to be in control, while quietly feeling exhausted and empty. If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything but still don’t feel at peace, this episode is for you.

This is your invitation to slow down, choose yourself, and begin the journey of coming back home to who you truly are.

You deserve more than survival. You deserve peace.

 In this Q&A episode of Conversations That Heal, I open the door for real, honest conversation by answering questions submitted by listeners at [email protected] I share what “choosing you” truly looks like in everyday life, through small, intentional decisions, learning to say no, and finally prioritizing yourself after realizing what it feels like to be poured out and depleted from putting everyone else first.

I walk through how I process hurt, by acknowledging it, taking accountability for my part, and getting honest about what caused the pain. I also speak openly about my ongoing healing journey from molestation, and how forgiveness, self-forgiveness, and learning my triggers have been a part of that process. I even reflect on a difficult but necessary conversation with my mother.

This episode also dives into grief, grieving the loss of my best friend and grieving the life I once imagined. I share how I’ve learned to allow myself to feel grief fully, without allowing it to keep me stuck. Travel has played a major role in my healing, and I talk about how experiences in places like Pretoria and Bali helped me reconnect with myself and cultivate a deeper sense of gratitude.

I also offer practical ways to rediscover who you are, starting with reconnecting to the dreams you had as a child, and I break down what it really means to date yourself. From solo coffee dates and meals to traveling alone and journaling, I share how spending intentional time with yourself can be one of the most powerful forms of healing.

If you’re learning how to choose yourself, this episode is for you.

Join I Choose Me: A Year of Self-Care A 52-week journey to help you rebuild, reconnect, and choose yourself again, one week at a time.

🔗 Start here: https://prodigious-builder-5258.kit.com/products/choosing-me-a-year-of-self-care-

I wrote a letter to my younger self, and it changed something in me.

Not the strong version of me you see today. But the little girl who felt unseen, unloved, and unprotected.

I spoke to Diane. I apologized. I affirmed. I released.

And for the first time, I made her a promise, I will never abandon you again.

This episode is deeply personal, but it’s also an invitation.

If you’ve ever carried shame from your past

Write the letter.

Healing begins when we finally tell the truth to ourselves with love.

If this speaks to you, watch the full episode and let me know how it resonates.

Because healing happens one conversation at a time.

When people think about grief, they often think about death.

But grief can come from many different experiences in life.

We can grieve lost opportunities.

In this episode of Conversations That Heal, Dr. Stephanie Jeffreys explores the many forms of grief that people carry silently. She reminds listeners that grief is not limited to losing someone physically, it can also come from losing dreams, connections, and chapters of our lives that we can never return to.

Healing begins when we give ourselves permission to acknowledge those losses and move forward with compassion for ourselves.

Some of the most powerful healing in our lives happens quietly.

It happens in the moments when we are alone with our thoughts, processing pain, setting boundaries, and making the difficult decision to grow.

In this episode of Conversations That Heal, Dr. Stephanie Jeffreys explores why real healing often happens in silence and how private transformation can lead to powerful change in our lives.

If you feel like you're doing the work but no one sees it, this episode will remind you that your healing still matters.

If today’s episode resonated with you and you are ready to begin or deepen your healing journey, I invite you to schedule a healing conversation with me.

Sometimes one conversation can begin the transformation your heart has been waiting for.

Many people spend years accepting the bare minimum in relationships, friendships, and even in the way they treat themselves.

Sometimes it comes from past trauma.

In this episode of Conversations That Heal, Dr. Stephanie Jeffreys explores what it means to recognize your worth and stop settling for less than you deserve. She discusses how healing helps us identify unhealthy patterns, set stronger boundaries, and choose relationships and environments that reflect our true value.

When you begin to understand your worth, the bare minimum is no longer enough.

If you are ready to begin your healing journey and learn how to set healthier boundaries in your life and relationships, I invite you to schedule a healing conversation with me.

Your healing matters

In this heartfelt episode of Conversations That Heal, Dr. Stephanie Diane Jeffreys sits down with Liz Albanis, senior yoga teacher and host of Yoga for Trauma: The Inner Fire of Yoga, to explore how trauma truly lives in the body not just the mind.

After surviving childhood sexual assault, miscarriage, the loss of her mother, and two house fires, Liz shares how traditional yoga wasn’t always healing and how trauma-informed, somatic practices helped her reconnect safely with her body. We talk about nervous system healing, trauma tremors, pacing, consent, and why small, gentle practices can be more powerful than pushing through.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected from your body or overwhelmed by “performative healing,” this conversation is for you.

Healing doesn’t require force. It requires safety.

Book a session or learn more: https://calendly.com/sdjeffreys

Subscribe for more healing conversations

To get in touch with Liz Albanis:

Email: [email protected]

Freebies: https://www.lizalbaniswellness.com.au/freebies

Website: https://www.lizalbaniswellness.com.au/

For so long, you’ve been the strong one.

The dependable one.

The one who shows up for everyone else even when it costs you yourself. But what happens when you finally decide to choose you? In this week’s episode, we’re talking about the courage it takes to stop abandoning yourself to keep others comfortable.

Choosing you isn’t selfish it’s sacred. It’s the moment you stop shrinking, stop overgiving, and stop waiting for permission to rest, heal, and live fully. I share what it really looks like to set boundaries without guilt, release relationships that drain you, and prioritize your peace, your voice, and your healing. Because choosing yourself isn’t about walking away from others it’s about finally coming home to yourself. I

f you’ve ever felt exhausted from carrying everyone else, this conversation is for you. You deserve to be chosen too. Especially by you.

If this episode speaks to you, share it with someone who needs permission to choose themselves.

Subscribe, leave a review, and if you’re ready for deeper healing support, schedule a session at https://calendly.com/sdjeffreys