N is seeing a guy in an open marriage while M talks about her hopeful trajectory toward an actual marriage. M and N grapple about their opposing views on the open-marriage thing and things get a lil sassier than usge.

N delivers some very hard pills to swallow straight from the mouths of babes (guys). Is sex the only litmus test for guys to decide if they like you? Should there be a Rom-Hor (romantic horror movie) called "The Buffer Date?" I would rather get E. Coli than be "faded out." Why do guys think being nice is a bad thing? What even makes sense in the world anymore? Why is food always involved in our episodes?

It's been waaaaay too long and we have a million things we want to talk about, but thanks to our problematic ADD, two and a half hours of Zoom resulted in 80 minutes of content where we cover, ummm ONE of the topics we tease in the beginning. BUT - it's a good one. We read the final text conversation (seriously, this is REALLY the last final text, for real) with F*ckboy Zero... And we're actually kind of in awe at his unrelenting gaslighting skills. If only he could parlay that into employment.

Episode 16 weather calls for a first-date shit storm; a wild fire named N that burns down everything in its path; and cloudy Fuckboy Zero skies with a chance of who the fuck knows.

Wow. Um. Yea pretty much - wow. N was going through a little somethin' and pretty much let her hot mess flag fly. M had to verbally cobble the episode together with popsicle sticks and elmers glue. Soooo. Wow.

In this episode, N tells the story of what led up to the official cancellation F*ckboy Zero - and M compares her angst-fueled mission to the Elmo-on-fire GIF (which both M and N refer to as the Elmo "emoji" for some unknown reason. Also, we get an unplanned phone call from N's mom which offers an interesting perspective of dating and social media from an actual Boomer. M and N struggle with the challenges and restrictions of wine delivery. And, N sweet talks her dog for a disturbing length of time while M takes a potty break. DISCLAIMER: This episode was recorded via a Zoom call between M and N so please overlook any audio issues! DISCLAIMER: Excessive amounts of wine was consumed throughout those 2 hours.

Uber Eats hears us mention booze and sends M a notification about alcohol delivery... and pretty much everything goes downhill after that. By the end of this episode, we are probably 3x the legal limit. We slur through talking about LTR breakups, having too much pride, and the fact that men like breaking up on their terms. You should probably drink while you listen. A lot. And do a shot every time M says "Are you fucking kidding me??" xoxox

In this episode, we kinda go into some topics that should be totes obvs: rejection stings, text relationships don't count, and "liking" is a spectrum. And of course we reference JTrain (Jared Freid) as if he was the Pharoh of Phuckboys.

In this episode, we kinda go into some topics that should be totes obvs: rejection stings, text relationships don't count, and "liking" is a spectrum.

We do some mental parkour, leaping from thought to thought while enjoying refreshments of wine and very special brownies. We jump from topics like: Have you ever been ghosted by a friend? or been jealous of a friend's relationship status? ... to pondering questions like: Would we ever get married again? ... Then we discuss what it's like to marry someone who doesn't want to have sex with you... and what a mindfuck it is to try to be a perfect parent for 567,648,000 seconds.