Conversations with Thomas

I have a complicated relationship with to-do lists. They are undeniably useful for plotting out my day or week ahead of time, and they can be a great way to hold myself accountable for getting things done. 

But they are designed to remind me of all the things I haven’t done. 

As soon as I cross off one task, another one or two or 10 await me. The whole exercise can be a dispiriting reminder that no matter hard I work or how much I accomplish, there will always be more work to do.  

Because of the discouraging nature of to-do lists, I have a habit of abandoning them: My computer contains countless Word files, tasks, and sticky notes littered with uncompleted assignments and chores.

Have you ever felt that traditional to-do lists don’t work for you?

I’m going to walk you through a host of rumination’s connected to to-do & then chat about what I’m going to refer to as a “done list” or at time a “to-done” list. And as I said earlier this isn’t something I’ve currently implemented, but it’s gaining a lot of traction as I dove into research for this talk. 

If you’re running your own business, leading a team, or just trying to get through your day, seeing a bunch of un-done tasks first thing in the morning can make it feel like you’re starting the day already falling behind.

But what if you started each morning by reviewing what you accomplished the previous day?

That’s the idea behind a Done list.

In this podcast I’ll chat about why everyone’s always going on about how we should “practice gratitude” in life, and while I agree that it’s good to be grateful for all the good things you have in life, I discovered it’s not exactly the game-changer people claim it is. 

In fact, sometimes it turns into toxic positivity and doesn’t make you feel all that great. 

I’ll muse about why having a gratitude practice may not actually do much for you.

I’ll share 10 thoughts about my concerns over a practice that just might be a tad over-rated. 

And I’ll wrap-up the podcast by outlining some steps you can take, that helped me, upon discovering gratitude journaling was hard. 

And I’ll offer a few other suggestions that might help get you back on track, if that’s what you want. 

Here’s my take on Gratitude and How I Fell Off the Wagon.  

As much as you trust yourself, you must also trust the Universe. 

If you only trust yourself without trusting the Universe, you miss the point, and if you only trust the Universe without trusting yourself, you cut off your power as conscious creator of your life - you kick your partner, the Universe to the curb. 
 
If you’re called to be a successful adventurer through the life you want to create, trusting yourself and listening to your inner guidance is none negotiable. Also, you must also trust this Infinite Power - the Divine. The Universe - God - Nature - whatever you want to call it, to take you wherever you want to go - your job is to be clear, crystal clear, where you want to go.
 
In this beautiful co-creative dance with the Universe anything and everything is possible… so set your Intentions and Dream Big!

I’ll share three bits of practical/strategic wisdom.   

Take Back Your Power - You must reclaim this power by recognizing that you do not have to prove yourself to others. 

Be Authentic - To live our lives in the most meaningful and fulfilled ways – we must strive to be our true, genuine selves – accepting that other people may not always appreciate us the way we deserve. 

Be Kind to Yourself - When we feel vulnerable and begin to talk negatively to ourselves, we begin to lose trust in ourselves. Switch to kinder self-statements.  Give yourself permission to trust that you can handle anything that comes your way.

Shalom Melchizedek shares this wisdom, “When you enter any relationship with doubt that doubt will be reflected back to you. You must trust yourself completely to attract another that can be trusted.”

Some people consider their problems to come from outside conditions. They try in vain to change the world surrounding them in hope things will improve. This seldom works because their thoughts are out of alignment.

It was the French-born novelist Anais Nin who said: “You do not see the world as it is. You see it as you are.”

What you hold in mind comes to life irrespective of your preferences.

Life is a mirror; its reflection shines your image back to you.

“External conditions mirror internal conditions, so straightening your room settles internal disorder” affirms authors Charlene Belitz and Meg Lundstrom in, The Power of Flow: Practical Ways to Transform Your Life with Meaningful Coincidence.

If you agree the world is volatile, you will look for evidence to substantiate this.

You might tune into the news and hear of unfortunate incidents that confirm your beliefs.

Conversations with Thomas is produced by Adam Ma. 

Glimmers are those tiny, seemingly insignificant moments when you feel a sense of joy, pleasure, peace, and gratitude. They’re often catalyzed by simple, daily things like petting an animal, taking a hot shower, or listening to the rain outside your window. 

The term “glimmers” was coined by Deb Dana, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in complex trauma. 

In her 2018 book, The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy, Dana notes that glimmers aren’t grand experiences, she says, “They’re micro moments that begin to shape our system in very gentle ways.”

If we pay attention, we’ll see that glimmers are everywhere. Everyone experiences them differently. 

Think of a moment you had—no matter how fleeting it might have been—where you felt safe and connected, whether with yourself or with others. Glimmers will feel a little different in everyone’s bodies, but they’re generally those warm-and-fuzzy feelings where you feel cozy and safe.

Conversations with Thomas is produced by Adam Ma. 

During this podcast I share some thoughts on resilience - what it is, what it isn’t. 

I challenge the notion that we always have to be resilient, but what if being tough isn’t always the answer. 

And l share some tips - in what I call “The Bounce Factor,” my 4-steps to “bouncing back.”

Resilience will help you find joy in self-transformation, showing you ways to become more positive, hard-working, and face hardship with the kind of bravery and optimism that will get you through any challenge.

Resilience helps to build skills to have you endure hardship and it means being able to adapt to life's misfortunes and setbacks. 

When something goes wrong, do you tend to bounce back or fall apart?

When you have resilience, you harness the inner strength that helps you rebound from a setback or challenge, such as a job loss, an illness, a disaster or a loved one's death. 

If you lack resilience, you might get stuck on problems or feel like a victim. You might feel burdened or turn to ways to cope that aren't healthy, such as drug or alcohol use, eating disorders, or risky behaviors.

Resilience won't make your problems go away. But resilience can help you see past them, find ways to enjoy life and better handle stress. If you aren't as resilient as you'd like to be, you can learn skills to become more resilient.

Conversations with Thomas is produced by Adam Ma. 

During this podcast I’m leaning into a conversation about our collective flight from conversation. If you’re looking to upgrade your conversation skills or maybe you simply want to better understand the value of having more face-to-face time with folks in your life, this episode is for you. 

I think we’ve sacrificed conversation for mere connection. We’ve found value in the quick connect via text or other modes of communication that do not require our live voices. 

At work, at home, in politics, and in our love relationships - be that with our partners, family or friends - we find ways around conversation. 

I think we’re tempted by the possibilities of a text or an email in which we don’t have to look, listen, be present, be focused or at the extreme, reveal ourselves - we sacrifice dimming our authentic selves perhaps to stay safe or not be noticed.

We develop a taste for what mere connection offers and have come to value the perks of it. 

The gathering around the dinner table falls silent. Phones compete for people’s attention.  

Friends learn strategies to keep conversations going when only a few people are looking up from their phones. Screens seem to be winning. 

Within our social media feeds, we’re challenged to only want to share opinions that our followers will agree with – a politic that shies away from the real conflicts and solutions of how we used to engage one-on-one using real conversation. 

I feel conversations are endangered or at least, on the endangered list for humanity.  

We see the costs of the flight from conversation everywhere: weren’t conversations the cornerstone of democracy and in business wasn’t it good for the bottom line. In our private lives didn’t it help to build compassion, empathy, friendship, love, learning, and productivity? 

Conversations with Thomas is produced by Adam Ma. 

This podcast advocates for living a life fuelled by intuitive, and intellectual insight. It’s perspective, at times, can be awkwardly brilliant.

Each episode brings a wealth of valuable advice inspiring growth, and expansion. It explores conversations most humans are afraid to touch. You’ll listen to change-catalysts, culture-shifters, heart renderers, and a few troublemakers whose focus is on personal innovation, creativity, and new ways to live.

Inspiration will entice you to put down your screens, and listen to folks figuring out how to live ecstatic, health riddled, and more present lives. Guests will share how they’ve enabled themselves to be their truest reflections, and pursue a life with abandon, and love.

You’ll learn to live lighter and braver, more free, and less alone. You’ll explore you, and learn new ways to create and embody the world you want.

These conversations will reveal the deeply human part of who you are, so that you can live, love, be in relationship, and walk within your life braver having connected to what podcast host, Thomas Kevin Dolan, calls your HeartMind.

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Contact Thomas Kevin Keko Dolan-Ma

• Website: ThomasKevinDolan.com
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