Hospice care, anticipatory grief, caregiving, mortality, family, and end-of-life dignity take center stage in one of Cool Hand Dross’s most personal episodes yet.

As his family navigates home hospice and end-of-life care for a loved one, Cool Hand Dross steps away from the usual format for a brief, unscripted reflection on what it means to accompany someone through the final stage of life.

He discusses the emotional reality of family caregiving, the extraordinary compassion of hospice nurses, friends, and relatives coming together during crisis, and why having your financial, legal, and end-of-life affairs in order is one of the greatest gifts you can leave your family.

The experience has also raised bigger questions about the sanctity of life, personal health, aging, mortality, peaceful passing, autonomy, and death with dignity.

There are no easy answers here, just an honest conversation from the middle of a difficult experience.

For anyone navigating hospice, caring for an aging parent or loved one, anticipatory grief, end-of-life decisions, or the loss of someone close, this episode is about being present when life becomes fragile and reconsidering what really matters.

Topics include: hospice care, home hospice, end-of-life care, caregiving, anticipatory grief, grief and loss, hospice nurses, aging parents, family caregiving, mortality, health, peaceful passing, death with dignity, end-of-life planning, compassion, and personal growth.

Blood Meridian Deep Dive: Cormac McCarthy, Judge Holden & International Stomach Issues

Former Green Beret and entrepreneur Eli returns to Cool Hand Dross for a deep dive into Cormac McCarthy’s Blood Meridian, Judge Holden, violence, philosophy, McCarthy’s language, and why the novel remains so disturbing and difficult to shake.

Eli experienced the Blood Meridian audiobook for the first time, while CHD returned to the novel for his second read, giving the listeners two very different ways into McCarthy’s brutal masterpiece. They also get into Be the Book Club, audiobooks versus reading, psychology, life experience, and Costa Rica and the Philippines.

If you’re into Cormac McCarthy, Blood Meridian analysis, great books, military experiences, psychology, travel, and honest long-form conversation, Episode 40 is for you.

Blood Meridian Deep Dive: Cormac McCarthy, Judge Holden & International Stomach Issues | Ep. 40

Episode 39 is raw, unfiltered, and completely improvised.

This week, CHD talks about the strange reality of telling true stories while protecting the people inside them, his first impressions of Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita, upcoming doctor appointments and the reminder that the body rarely lets us ignore what matters, and one unexpected realization as schools reopen across the country: CHD does not miss teaching.

No script. No polished transitions. Just an honest free-flow conversation about books, health, identity, aging, work, reinvention, privacy, and the madness of trying to make sense of life while you are still living it.

If you enjoy candid conversations about mental health, literature, personal growth, career change, creativity, and the uncomfortable parts of being human, welcome to Cool Hand Dross.

Episode 39: Even Flow, Free 

This week, Michelle and I dropped our son Dalton off at college and suddenly eighteen years of parenting came down to one difficult, beautiful moment: trusting that we gave him the tools to step into adulthood on his own.

In this episode of Cool Hand Dross, I reflect on the bittersweet reality of college move-in day, the fear and freedom that come with letting go, and one unavoidable truth: the only constant is change.

I also dig into a phrase that has become increasingly important in my own life: Compassionate Consistency. The idea that real growth rarely happens through dramatic transformations. It happens quietly, through small decisions, patience, discipline, returning after setbacks, and learning to recognize progress that may be almost invisible while it’s happening.

At 55, while Dalton begins his next chapter, I’m confronting one of my own: redefining work, creativity, health, purpose, and what I want the next ten years of my life to look like. There’s no orientation, no campus map, and no guaranteed path forward,Move In Day, and Compassionate Consistency | Episode 38 just the decision to keep showing up.

Plus, a look ahead at what’s coming to Cool Hand Dross: Eli Capel returns to discuss Cormac McCarthy’s Blood Meridian, we continue Be the Book Club with Lolita, and upcoming conversations include writer and community-builder Siobhan Cleveland, entrepreneur and educator Salim Holder, and a future college-life check-in with Dalton and one of his roommates. The entire Cool Hand Dross catalog is also headed to YouTube.

Change is inevitable. Growth is slower. Compassionate consistency is how we stay in the game.

If the show resonates with you, follow, rate, review, and share Cool Hand Dross with someone who might need a little shelter from the modern-day storm.

What keeps us moving when the world around us or the world inside us starts to feel unbearable?

In Episode 37 of Cool Hand Dross, Scott explores two seemingly different stories that wrestle with the same question: HBO’s The Sopranos and Cormac McCarthy’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel The Road.

We look at Tony Soprano’s depression, anxiety, panic attacks, therapy, and emotional isolation, and why James Gandolfini’s portrayal of a powerful man quietly struggling with his mental health was so groundbreaking. Tony has money, family, status and power—yet something inside him is collapsing.

Then we travel into the devastated world of Cormac McCarthy’s The Road, where a father and son have almost nothing left except each other, their determination to survive, and the idea of “carrying the fire.”

One man has almost everything and struggles to find meaning.

The other has almost nothing and knows exactly what matters.

This episode explores:

• Tony Soprano, depression and the hidden face of male mental health

• James Gandolfini’s remarkable portrayal of anxiety, loneliness and emotional pain

• Therapy, panic attacks and the difference between self-awareness and real change

• Cormac McCarthy’s The Road and the father-son relationship at its center

• “Carrying the fire” as a metaphor for hope, humanity and perseverance

• Finding purpose when life changes, plans disappear, and the road ahead becomes uncertain

• Why sometimes the goal isn’t figuring out your entire life—it’s simply taking the next step

Most of us live somewhere between Tony Soprano and the father walking down McCarthy’s road.

We lose people. Jobs change. Relationships change. We get older. We lose versions of ourselves. And sometimes we wonder what the hell we’re doing.

Maybe we don't need to see the entire road.

Maybe we just need something worth carrying.

Keep moving. Carry the fire.

🎙️ Cool Hand Dross Podcast — Episode 37Mental Health | Books | Culture | Storytelling | Life

If this episode resonates with you, follow the podcast, share it with someone who might need it, and help us continue growing this quiet little corner of the world.

A bachelor party in Manhattan. A steakhouse inside a strip club. A mandatory blazer. What could possibly go wrong?

In Episode 36 of Cool Hand Dross, we open the Mason Jar for one of the most ridiculous true stories yet.

Years ago, Sean’s bachelor party brought Team Rash into New York City for a night at Hustler Gentlemen’s Club, a strip club that somehow also claimed to have a high-end steakhouse, complete with a jacket-required dress code.

What followed was a perfect storm of strong IPAs, empty stomachs, missing dinner courses, an overwhelmed waiter, angry security guards, a brand new baby blue blazer covered in steak juice, and several hundred dollars of completely useless Hustler funny money.

And that was only the beginning.

The night eventually spirals into maraschino cherries, a rainy McDonald’s drive-through, what appeared to be a horrifying medical emergency, a destroyed screen door, two ruined blazers, and one unforgettable lesson about friendship, aging, alcohol, and knowing when you have officially outgrown the bachelor-party lifestyle.

Funny, embarrassing, nostalgic, and completely true.

This is Blazers, Strippers and Steak Juice, a True Tale from the Mason Jar.

Cool Hand Dross Podcast explores mental health, books, writing, culture, friendship, aging, and the strange true stories we collect along the way.

Subscribe, follow the show, leave a comment or review, and share the episode with someone who has survived a night they would rather never repeat.

After five weeks on the road, CHD returns home and begins the slow process of rebuilding his routines, reconnecting with family, and settling back into the daily practices that support his mental and physical health.

In this episode of Cool Hand Dross, we explore the powerful connection between anxiety, hypochondria, thought loops, and physical sensations and share how simple practices such as exercise, body-scan meditation, box breathing, healthier eating, and compassionate consistency can help interrupt the mind-body anxiety cycle.

The conversation then turns to Daniel Kraus’s unconventional World War I novel, Angel Down, a brutal yet beautifully written story told as one continuous sentence. We reflect on the novel’s supernatural premise, its exploration of faith and human nature, and the way its breathless writing style places the reader inside the chaos and psychological trauma of war.

CHD also opens up about losing momentum with his own novel, Novella Painting, and his plan to return to writing for just twenty minutes each day. Sometimes inspiration does not come before the work. Sometimes beginning the work is what creates the inspiration.

For Culture Call Out, we revisit Martin Scorsese’s The Departed, examining why the crime drama still holds up and how its characters reveal the masks people wear to hide fear, insecurity, ambition, and divided identities. He also considers rewatching The Sopranos one episode at a time as a nightly ritual—a little “Scott time” at the end of the day.

Finally, the Mason Jar opens just enough to preview the next true story:

Blazers, Strippers and Steak Juice.

A Manhattan strip club. A torrential rainstorm. Maraschino cherries. Projectile vomiting. McDonald’s. A destroyed blazer. And one world-class hangover.

This episode is about coming home, managing anxiety, rebuilding healthy habits, returning to creative work, appreciating great books and films, and allowing ourselves a little quiet time at the end of the day.

Welcome back to our quiet little corner of the podcasting universe, the little shelter we are trying to build together from the modern storm.

Please subscribe, leave a rating, and share Cool Hand Dross with someone who might enjoy the conversation

Can books change the course of a life?

For Marina Aris, they already have.

In this powerful and deeply candid episode of Cool Hand Dross he sits down with author, entrepreneur, publisher, and Founder & CEO of Book Biz Hub, the company behind the award-winning Brooklyn Writers Press and AVANTHAM—the first hybrid publishing press dedicated entirely to teen authors.

Growing up in and out of the New York State foster care system, Marina found something many children never do: consistency.

Books became her refuge, her teachers, and ultimately her lifeline. That love of reading evolved into writing, entrepreneurship, and a mission to help authors tell stories that matter.

For years, Marina quietly built her publishing company before work, after work, and on weekends while maintaining a demanding career in financial services. In September 2025, she took the leap into entrepreneurship full-time, proving that meaningful success is often built through years of quiet consistency before anyone else notices.

We also discuss the upcoming re-release of her memoir, Running Into the Night, why she founded AVANTHAM to give teenagers the opportunity to become professionally published authors before graduating high school, and how one book can forever change a young person's confidence, identity, and future.

• ​Growing up in foster care and finding hope through books
• ​How reading and writing became tools for healing
• ​Building a publishing company while working a full-time career
• ​Entrepreneurship, persistence, and betting on yourself
• ​Independent publishing and hybrid publishing
• ​Why Marina created a publishing press exclusively for teen authors
• ​The re-release of Running Into the Night
• ​Storytelling, resilience, purpose, and second chances
• ​Why books still have the power to transform lives

This was one of the most honest conversations we've had on Cool Hand Dross.

Marina is a remarkable human being, not only a survivor, but a striver. What she endured as a child and what she has gone on to accomplish as an entrepreneur, publisher, and author is extraordinary. Her story is a testament to resilience, perseverance, and the incredible things that become possible when we refuse to let our past define our future.

Whether you're an author, entrepreneur, educator, parent, reader, or someone navigating your own difficult chapter, I believe you'll find inspiration, wisdom, and hope in this conversation.

Marina can be found at:

http://ArisPublishingGroup.com

No guest this week—just an honest conversation.

While traveling through New Jersey, New York City, and Boston, Scott reflects on the strange reality that joy and anxiety can exist at the very same time.

This has been one of the happiest trips he's taken in years—reconnecting with lifelong friends and family, revisiting the neighborhoods that shaped him, and even meeting listeners of Cool Hand Dross along the way. Yet beneath the laughter, another story has been unfolding.

In this deeply personal episode, Scott opens up about what happens when mental health hygiene begins to slip. Meditation, journaling, breathing exercises, movement, and other daily practices quietly disappeared as life became busy—and anxiety quickly filled the space they left behind.

The conversation explores:

• ​Why mental health hygiene deserves the same attention as physical health.
• ​How health anxiety and hypochondria can create a powerful mind-body feedback loop.
• ​The physical symptoms of chronic anxiety and why they often feel frighteningly real.
• ​How returning to childhood environments can awaken old emotional patterns and nervous system responses.
• ​The impact of family members battling cancer and how those experiences can trigger fear and uncertainty.
• ​The hidden cost of too much food, alcohol, disrupted sleep, and inconsistent routines while traveling.
• ​Why balance,not perfection, is the real goal.
• ​The simple daily habits that quietly help us return to ourselves.

This isn't an episode about having the answers.

It's about remembering the practices that keep us steady when life becomes overwhelming.

If you've ever fallen off your routine, struggled with anxiety, experienced health anxiety, or felt like you've lost your footing, this conversation is for you.

Because every day offers another opportunity to begin again.

What does it really mean to be strong?

In this episode of Cool Hand Dross we sit down with former Green Beret Eli Capel to explore the intersection of physical fitness, mental health, resilience, leadership, and personal growth.

After serving as both a military engineer and Special Forces Operator, Eli transitioned into entrepreneurship, building multiple fitness facilities while raising a family and returning to school to study psychology. Today, he's working to bridge the gap between exercise and therapy, believing that lasting transformation comes from training both the body and the mind.

Together, we discuss:

• Life as a Green Beret and the lessons that never leave you• Leadership, discipline, and resilience under pressure• Entrepreneurship and building a meaningful business• Fatherhood and balancing ambition with family• Why mental health belongs in the gym conversation• Endurance, purpose, and embracing difficult challenges• The lifelong pursuit of becoming a better human being

Whether you're an athlete, veteran, entrepreneur, parent, or simply someone looking to grow, this conversation offers practical wisdom and thoughtful reflection on what it means to live with purpose.

About Eli Capel

Eli Capel is a former U.S. Army Green Beret, entrepreneur, fitness coach, and psychology student. After leaving military service, he founded and expanded multiple fitness businesses while continuing to push his physical limits through endurance events, including Spartan Races, ultra rucks, the Navy SEAL Foundation Swim the Hudson, and a full Ironman. His current mission is to integrate psychology and fitness to help people create meaningful, lasting change.https://www.instagram.com/elicapel?igsh=c2l6dzN6aTQ5amlw