Counselling Conversations with Julie

Self-regulation is important in relationships, wellbeing, and overall satisfaction and success in life. Self-regulation is the ability to manage our own emotions,  behaviour, and reactions to feelings and situations, events, or things that happen around us, which can include being able to regulate reactions to strong feelings such as anger, frustration, excitement, and embarrassment.  People who can manage their emotions and behaviour are better able to manage stress, deal with conflict, and achieve their goals in life.

Thank you for joining me today. For more information please click the link to check out more of what we are doing at Beyond The Surface Counselling

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As we roll into a New Year, we often ruminate, and go over and over our past hurts, grievances, losses, and difficult and often negative experiences we have faced throughout the year.

We feel a heavy burden and we are weighed down by the experiences getting to the end of one year and looking forward to the next is our aim, our goal.

But here we are in the second week of January, and we still hold onto feelings of anger, hurt, betrayal, and feeling alone.

Are we grieving or hanging onto past behaviours that no longer serve us positively? Working through and dealing with letting go of these feelings is fundamental to us beginning our inner healing journey. 

Thank you for joining me today. For more information please click the link to check out more of what we are doing at Beyond The Surface Counselling

https://linktr.ee/beyondthesurfacecounselling

Welcome back to the Counselling Conversations with Julie podcast. We also welcome the energy and growth that 2024 brings! In whatever shape or form that arrives.

A new year always has us thinking about what we can do better. How to be a better friend, partner, or parent, we make resolutions and list goals. We often feel the pressure to achieve to be better than we are, but what is the measure of being better, who are we trying to show that we are being a better person than we were in 2023 and is there anything wrong with us that makes us think we need to be better?

Thank you for joining me today. For more information please click the link to check out more of what we are doing at Beyond The Surface Counselling

https://linktr.ee/beyondthesurfacecounselling

Not all people look forward to Christmas; for some, it can be joyful and full of happiness, but that is not so for everyone. The images and expectations of the Christmas season can exacerbate feelings of fear, anxiety, depression and loneliness.

Thank you for joining me today. For more information please click the link to check out more of what we are doing at Beyond The Surface Counselling

https://linktr.ee/beyondthesurfacecounselling

Communication is essential in all relationships. However, the most essential part of communication is to be a good listener. Listening requires you to hear what is being said or the subtleties of what is not being said. We can learn these skills and improve on them with practice. Building good communication skills builds strong relationships, and people who feel confident in their relationships become better communicators.

A partner who communicates well is exceptional at knowing and understanding what their partner needs from them and how to meet these needs and expectations. But how do we do this? How do you know if you and your partner are communicating well?

Thank you for joining me today. For more information please click the link to check out more of what we are doing at Beyond The Surface Counselling

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As caregivers, we play a huge role in helping children to calm down. When children are upset, overwhelmed or anxious they look to the adult to help with regulating their emotions. 

Thank you for joining me today. For more information please click the link to check out more of what we are doing at Beyond The Surface Counselling

https://linktr.ee/beyondthesurfacecounselling

The feelings and behaviours of others we work, live, and socialise with directly impact how we feel, and how we respond to our own emotions. Imagine you are in a car park, and you witness a car backing into another, the drivers get out and start to shout at each other. Do you feel annoyed as they are delaying you or do you feel the fear that the drivers are feeling?

How do you feel when you walk past a quiet park, trees are gently swaying in the wind, all is peaceful, and people are having quiet conversations. Do you feel calm?

We are all impacted by others' actions, adults and children pick up the moods of others around them. When people around us are behaving in a certain way, we can be directly affected, we respond externally and internally. However, once we have removed ourselves from these people, our nervous system is able to calm down and reset.

Thank you for joining me today. For more information please click the link to check out more of what we are doing at Beyond The Surface Counselling

https://linktr.ee/beyondthesurfacecounselling

We all have individual and group behaviour patterns. Patterns generally involve repetitive actions, tasks, or behaviours that we engage in frequently, often without much thought.

Toxic behavioural patterns are also automatic, the behaviour may have caused problems in the past, in relationships, at work, in a family or elsewhere. It is difficult to recognise the behaviour let alone change it, and if we do recognise it, we may be reluctant to want to change as it provides us with what we want or the reward, the feeling we have when we are rewarded, it feels good.

Even when we recognise the behaviours, and we may want to change, the fear of change holds us back.

Thank you for joining me today. For more information please click the link to check out more of what we are doing at Beyond The Surface Counselling

https://linktr.ee/beyondthesurfacecounselling

What would you call a difficult emotion? From my observations, difficult emotions might range from feeling overwhelmed and having difficulty finding the words to express yourself, to sadness, fear, jealousy, shame, anger, grief, and loss which includes separation anxiety.

These difficult feelings are unpleasant, but they also make it difficult to function in daily life and they interfere with our life goals.

Thank you for joining me today. For more information please click the link to check out more of what we are doing at Beyond The Surface Counselling

https://linktr.ee/beyondthesurfacecounselling

Core beliefs are something that you strongly hold on to. They are rigid and inflexible and are maintained by focusing on information that supports the belief. We often ignore evidence that contradicts it. 

 

Core beliefs are central to your main ideas about yourself, others and the world. We view ourselves, others and the world from these beliefs. These beliefs are like a lens through which we look at each situation and life experience. These are assumptions and often underlie our automatic thought system. Core beliefs can be both positive and self-limiting. 

Thank you for joining me today. For more information please click the link to check out more of what we are doing at Beyond The Surface Counselling

https://linktr.ee/beyondthesurfacecounselling