couples in focus

By Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston

Couples in Focus is a podcast for anyone wanting to improve their relationships. Hosted by Thomas and Michael, two relationship therapists from https://coupletherapy.earth/ and thesecurecouple.com, it... more

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FAQs about couples in focus:

How many episodes does couples in focus have?

The podcast currently has 15 episodes available.

couples in focus episodes:

January 22, 2025Navigating Couples Therapy Resistance
Summary

In this episode, Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston discuss the common scenario where one partner is eager to pursue couples therapy while the other is resistant. They explore the reasons behind this resistance, emphasizing the importance of understanding and compassion. The conversation covers effective communication strategies, the significance of timing when discussing therapy, and how to create a collaborative environment. The hosts also introduce the 'Three C's' approach: Collaboration, Compassion, and Curiosity, as essential tools for navigating difficult conversations in relationships.

Takeaways
Many couples face resistance to therapy, often from one partner.

Understanding the reasons behind resistance is crucial.

Compassionate communication can help bridge the gap in relationships.

Timing is key when discussing sensitive topics like therapy.

Using 'I' statements can reduce defensiveness in conversations.

It's important to approach therapy as a collaborative effort.

Vulnerability in therapy can be daunting for some partners.

Creating a safe space for discussion can lead to better outcomes.

The 'Three C's'—Collaboration, Compassion, Curiosity—are vital for effective communication.

Recognizing each partner's perspective can foster understanding and connection.

Sound Bites

"Shame shuts us down."
"Clear is kind."
"Approach resistance curiously."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Couples Therapy Resistance
03:11 Understanding Resistance to Therapy
05:55 Compassionate Approaches to Therapy
08:55 The Importance of Acknowledgment
11:59 Communicating Unhappiness Effectively
15:00 Using 'We' Statements for Connection
20:17 Understanding Disconnection in Relationships
22:36 The Importance of Timing in Conversations
25:23 Approaching the Topic of Counseling
27:51 Collaborative Approaches to Therapy
30:01 Navigating Resistance to Therapy
32:15 Reframing Help and Guidance
34:49 Compassionate Communication Strategies
40:14 The Three C's: Collaboration, Compassion, Curiosity

To learn more visit https://coupletherapy.earth/ or https://thesecurecouple.com/
...more
44min
January 15, 2025Navigating Relationship Conflicts: Understanding Escalation
Summary

In this episode of the Couples in Focus podcast, hosts Michael Preston and Thomas Westenholz delve into the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on how small disagreements can escalate into significant arguments. They explore the underlying reasons for these escalations, including past experiences, communication gaps, and the emotional weight of words spoken during conflicts. The conversation emphasizes the importance of empathy, understanding, and consistent small actions in maintaining a healthy relationship. They also discuss the challenges of repairing after hurtful words are exchanged and the necessity of genuine emotional connection in the process of reconciliation.

Takeaways
Relationships are complex and often lead to misunderstandings.

Small arguments can escalate due to underlying emotional issues.

Past experiences significantly influence current relationship dynamics.

Communication is key to preventing misunderstandings.

Consistent small actions build emotional safety in relationships.

Apologies must be accompanied by genuine empathy to be effective.

Understanding a partner's history fosters compassion and connection.

The meaning we assign to actions can lead to conflict.

Emotional resonance is crucial for effective repair after conflict.

Change takes time and effort, but it signals care in a relationship.

Sound Bites

"We can't unsay things."
"The story takes on a life of its own."
"The gap is a threat in relationships."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Relationship Complexities
01:09 Understanding Arguments Over Small Issues
04:27 Exploring the Roots of Escalation
07:51 The Impact of Past Experiences on Present Conflicts
11:07 The Importance of Context in Relationships
17:25 Meaning-Making in Relationship Dynamics
21:29 Processing Information and Emotional Responses
22:43 Filling the Gaps in Communication
30:36 Navigating Small Conflicts to Big Arguments
40:58 Repairing Relationships After Conflict

To learn more, go to https://coupletherapy.earth/ or https://thesecurecouple.com/
...more
43min
January 08, 2025Understanding Relationship Compatibility
Summary

In this conversation, Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston delve into the dynamics of anxious pursuers and avoidant partners in relationships. They explore how these attachment styles affect communication, emotional regulation, and the overall compatibility of couples. The discussion highlights the importance of recognizing relationship warning signs, understanding protection patterns, and building authentic connections. They also provide practical advice for couples seeking to improve their relationship dynamics, including resources for self-help and therapy.

Takeaways
Anxious pursuers often feel a constant fear of disconnection.

Avoidant partners may struggle to understand their partner's need for connection.

Communication styles can significantly impact relationship dynamics.

Recognizing emotional cues is essential for maintaining connection.

Couples therapy can help partners understand their attachment styles.

Compatibility is not solely determined by attachment styles; it can be developed.

Emotional regulation is crucial for effective communication in relationships.

Identifying relationship warning signs can prevent deeper issues.

Practicing new communication strategies can foster empathy and understanding.

Self-awareness in relationships can lead to healthier dynamics.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Relationship Dynamics
02:38 The Anxious Pursuer's Perspective
05:28 The Avoidant Partner's Experience
08:38 The Cycle of Distress in Relationships
11:32 Compatibility and Doubt in Relationships
14:28 Recognizing Relational Check Engine Lights
17:13 The Importance of Emotional Awareness
28:11 The Importance of Slowing Down in Relationships
31:15 Recognizing Imbalances and Seeking Help
33:50 Understanding Relationship Dynamics and Patterns
38:11 The Role of Attachment Styles in Compatibility
41:57 Therapy as a Relationship Checkup
44:53 Navigating Compatibility and Authenticity
53:36 Practical Steps for Reconnecting in Relationships

To learn more, go to ⁠https://coupletherapy.earth/⁠ or https://thesecurecouple.com/
...more
1h 1min
January 01, 2025Understanding Communication in Relationships
Summary

In this conversation, Michael Preston and Thomas Westenholz discuss the intricacies of emotional focus therapy (EFT) and the common relationship issues that arise in therapy. They explore the concept of communication issues, emphasizing that these often stem from deeper emotional cues and attachment styles. The discussion delves into the dynamics of pursuers and withdrawers in relationships, the importance of vulnerability, and the need for empathy and understanding. They also highlight the significance of slowing down communication, the dangers of texting during distress, and the role of attachment styles in shaping relationship dynamics. Ultimately, the conversation underscores the importance of connection, trust, and emotional safety in fostering healthy relationships.

Takeaways
Communication issues often mask deeper emotional cues.

Understanding attachment styles is crucial in therapy.

Vulnerability can elicit empathy and connection.

The cycle of disconnection is a common theme in relationships.

Texting during distress can lead to miscommunication.

Empathy is essential for healing in relationships.

Action tendencies are natural responses to fear.

Children's behavior often reflects bids for connection.

Adults can exhibit tantrum-like behaviors under stress.

Trust and safety are foundational for healthy relationships.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
00:56 Common Relationship Issues and Communication Challenges
06:38 Understanding Emotional Cues in Communication
12:55 The Cycle of Disconnection and Connection
17:01 Decriminalizing Action Tendencies in Relationships
23:11 Attachment Styles and Their Impact on Relationships
30:10 Strategies for Managing Emotional Distress
34:20 Adrenaline and Emotional Responses
37:21 Understanding Relationship Dynamics
39:58 The Role of Communication in Relationships
45:50 Navigating Vulnerability and Empathy
51:39 Attachment Styles and Personal Journeys

To learn more, go to ⁠https://coupletherapy.earth/⁠ or https://thesecurecouple.com/
...more
1h 8min
December 20, 2024Unlocking the Secrets of Emotional Focused Therapy
Summary

In this engaging conversation, Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston delve into the intricacies of Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT) and its profound impact on relationships. They explore the journey to EFT, the significance of attachment, the role of shame, and the importance of communication in fostering connection. The discussion highlights the transformative nature of therapy, emphasizing compassion and understanding as key components in navigating emotional responses and building healthier relationships. The hosts encourage listeners to embrace vulnerability and seek support, ultimately leading to personal growth and improved relational dynamics.

Takeaways
EFT provides a structured approach to couples therapy.

Attachment theory is crucial in understanding relationship dynamics.

Shame can inhibit personal growth and relationship healing.

Effective communication is essential for resolving conflicts.

Compassion plays a vital role in therapy and relationships.

Therapists act as guides in navigating emotional landscapes.

Understanding emotional responses can enhance relational connections.

Therapy can lead to profound personal transformations.

Couples often leave therapy with new tools for relating.

The therapeutic process is about building trust and safety.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Exploring Humanity and EFT
01:15 The Journey into Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
09:20 The Importance of Attachment in Relationships
18:50 Understanding Shame and Its Impact on Parenting
28:32 Navigating Emotions: The Biological Compass
34:04 Communication and Language in Relationships
36:48 Navigating Communication in Relationships
39:21 Understanding Emotional Needs
41:56 Overcoming Emotional Barriers
44:27 The Complexity of Emotional Responses
47:37 Dual Emotions and Their Impact
50:28 The Role of the Therapist as a Guide
53:19 Building a Map for Relating
57:00 The Power of Emotional Transformation

To learn more, go to ⁠https://coupletherapy.earth/⁠ or https://thesecurecouple.com/
...more
1h 3min

FAQs about couples in focus:

How many episodes does couples in focus have?

The podcast currently has 15 episodes available.