Crafting Solutions to Conflict

Our unconscious bias shapes our perspective in ways we don’t easily recognize or accept.

Just days after the 2020 election in the U.S., we discuss how we all are affected by bias – in ways that we find hard to manage and hard to believe. Our emotional reactions are so fast and our commitment to our rationalizations so strong that it is difficult for us to change our own minds or to see that others may have their own values and perspectives that seem completely legitimate to them. The first steps to communicating with each other are accepting our humanity and being open to at least hearing an opposing point of view. 

Howard mentioned his three books: Reinventing Diversity, Everyday Bias, and Our Search for Belonging.  You can learn more about his work and contact him through LinkedIn, https://www.linkedin.com/in/howardjross/ , https://howardjross.com/ , or https://udarta.com/

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

The day after Election Day in the U.S. is featuring a number of factors that encourage conflict.

Today’s challenges include uncertainty, high emotions, exhaustion, a highly significant outcome, and lots of noise. All of these can contribute to negative, destructive conflict. Yet we have also seen an absence of conflict that had been feared by some: violence and disruption in the voting process. There have also been instances of positive conflict: Republican leaders contradicting a president of their own party. As the future unfolds, we should avoid holding our breath, both figuratively and unconsciously literally. Instead we should count our breaths, in and out.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Vik Kapoor on a UN Office of the Ombudsman pilot peer conflict coaching program

Vik describes a pilot peer conflict coaching program underway in over 40 countries, as part of the work of the UN Office of the Ombudsman. Vik notes that the views he expresses are his own and do not reflect the views of the United Nations or the U.S. Federal Government in any way; any errors and omissions are his own.  The Office of the Ombudsman for United Nations Funds and Programmes' site is https://fpombudsman.org/

Vik also tells us about his coaching work with millennials in the U.S. You can find him on LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/in/vikapoor and his website: www.extra-m.com. Vik also offers listeners his go-to self-care graphic by texting selfserve to 44222 (one word, and capitalization doesn't matter whatsoever).  This will also subscribe them to his list to get updates on his self-coaching book coming out in April and other coaching resources.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Both inside the group in conflict and outside it, threads of conflict may be hidden below the surface.

Hidden Threads of Conflict is the title of a presentation next week for the annual global conference of the Family Firm Institute (FFI). I am part of a panel of three, which is part of a larger group, which is itself a subset of the FFI Mediation Virtual Study Group. It’s been great to work with Jack Wofford, Richard Lutringer, Ann Begler, Natalie McVeigh, Kathleen Hoye, Amy Wirtz, Susan Kaye, Chen Seft-Feiglin, and Marc Silverman.

Families, in particular, often think that their own family is the only one that faces conflict – or that theirs is worse than what others face. That’s one sense in which conflict is hidden: people don’t tell their friends and colleagues that they are battling within their extended families. Often conflict is hidden just below the surface. It doesn’t take much to bring it into the open, which can bring an end to stress of hiding it or pretending it isn’t there. Then attention can focus on dealing with the conflict or its basis. And next time there is some kind of conflict, the group will have experienced the benefits of not keeping the challenge hidden.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Every year, The Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR) celebrates Conflict Resolution Day. This year it’s on October 15th. 

ACR is an international, professional organization enhancing the practice and public understanding of conflict resolution. Members include mediators, arbitrators, educators and other conflict resolution practitioners. 

ACR’s Mission: ACR gives voice to the choices for quality conflict resolution.

ACR’s Vision:  All people know their choices for conflict resolution. 

The key word is choices: we make choices about how we will handle conflict. 

In recognition of Conflict Resolution Day, ACR shared some quotes with members.

Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional. – Max Lucado
Conflict is the beginning of consciousness. – M. Esther Harding
In a conflict, being willing to change allows you to move from a point of view to a viewing point – A higher, more expansive place, from which you can see both sides. – Thomas Crum 
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. – Winston Churchill

Learn more at acrnet.org

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

An ombuds helps individuals and groups to resolve conflicts and concerns.

Chuck explains how the term ombudsman comes originally from the Swedish and means “representative”. Today you may hear ombuds, ombudsman, or ombudsperson. 

According to the International Ombudsman Association: “Ombudsmen work in all types of organizations, including government agencies, colleges and universities, corporations, hospitals and other medical facilities, and news organizations. There are different types of ombudsmen with different roles, functional responsibilities, and standards of practice including organizational ombudsman, classical ombudsman, and advocate ombudsman.” 

The organizational ombuds may be the most frequently encountered. As Chuck notes, the organizational ombuds benefits individuals and organizations – with the principle of confidentiality serving an essential function.

You can learn more at the IOA website: https://www.ombudsassociation.org/ and reach Chuck at [email protected].

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Considering what we’re missing can clarify why someone disagrees with us.

When we are in conflict and can’t understand how someone can hold the position they do, we can consider if we are missing something. Do we have partial information? Or outdated information? Does the other person have a perspective we don’t grasp? We ask ourselves what we’re missing. We can also ask the other person – with genuine curiosity. Even if no minds are changed immediately, channels of communication may be opened or strengthened.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Nonviolent Communication: communicating with clarity and empathy.

Dr. Marshall Rosenberg developed the concept of Nonviolent Communication – or NVC – and founded the Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC). Very generally, the NVC approach can be broken down into four parts: observing a situation -- without evaluation or judgment; noticing the feelings the situation brings to the surface; understanding what need or value is causing those feelings; and requesting concrete actions that you would like taken that would better meet your needs. You can learn more about NVC and the Center here: https://www.cnvc.org/

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Motivational Interviewing helps people resolve inner conflicts and make changes that help them reach goals.

Joseph discussed his work as a financial and life planner and how he uses Motivational Interviewing to help his clients better understand how to match their behaviors to the goals they identify for themselves. Motivational Interviewing was developed by clinical psychologists William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick in the area of addiction treatment. Its principles apply much more broadly and can help people resolve ambivalent or contradictory feelings and move to positive change.

You can learn more about Motivational Interviewing through the Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers at https://motivationalinterviewing.org/. You can learn more about Josephs’ firm at https://abundancewp.com. You can contact him at [email protected]  or 510.933.8347.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

In mediation, a trained neutral helps with conflict resolution; in facilitation, there is less or no focus on conflict.

Unlike facilitation, in mediation there is always an active dispute. In facilitation, there may be one brewing, one resolved but the resolution not yet implemented, or no dispute at all – just an interest in considering a topic or topics with care. You can learn more at the American Bar Association’s Dispute Resolution Section webpage, in the public access section: https://www.americanbar.org/groups/dispute_resolution/resources/DisputeResolutionProcesses/mediation/and

https://www.americanbar.org/groups/dispute_resolution/resources/DisputeResolutionProcesses/facilitation/. The International Association of Facilitators has its own description of facilitation: https://www.iaf-world.org/site/facilitators.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.