Creature of the Night

Did you know it's Dracula Day on May 26??! so Rach has come up with some ideas on how you should celebrate the Prince of Darkness..... tangents include but not limited to; breaking news regarding COREY FELDMAN, slurpees, and the reasons why Jonathan Harker is a little bitch...

slide into the DM's @elfymama and let me know if you would like to be imprisoned in a sex dungeon with lesbian vampires??

PS. watch Bram Stoker's DRACULA

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In a world first, Rach raises the dead (for a podcast) in order to ask MICHAEL JACKSON some very important questions regarding COREY FELDMAN

tangents include but not limited to: the trials of choosing your own headstone, the DANIEL JOHNS REAL ESTATE NEWS, an upcoming OnlyFans subscription service, and a really crap song performed by EDWARD FURLONG...

slide into the DM's and let me know if you think they should remake 'The Godfather' with MACAULAY CULKIN @elfymama

PS. listen to the predecessor and learn more about Edward Furlong's criminal escapades AND the ongoing saga of The Daniel Johns Hedge Report

PPS. read about the f*cked up relationship between Michael Jackson & Debbie Rowe

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COREY FELDMAN has been making egregious claims about Michael Jackson! AND he's dropped some new music!! (so stop what you are doing right now and listen up).... tangents include but not limited to: sex symbols doing OnlyFans at 52 years old, THE REJECTED NEWS, and important updates regarding THE MOON that you need to be aware of..

slide into the DMs and let me know if you would prefer to be Lestat or Louis on Vampire Night @elfymama

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once again, Rach has been forced to get up early and record THE MORNING SHOW... (gross)....tangents include but not limited to: sharks on cocaine, The David Lynch Weather Report, and the pitfalls of being struck by lightning whilst using the phone..

slide into the DM's if you are a scientist who studies the art of jizz-physics @elfymama

PS. RIP Pinchy

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Will makes an appearance to talk about the (worst) zombie movie ever made.... THE ZOMBIE KING!!! (starring Edward Furlong and Corey Feldman)... tangents include but not limited to: how to survive a lice infestation, the reptilian overlords (respect!!), and a multitude of apocalypse scenarios..

slide into the DM's and let us know what you think the budget was for this crap film @elfymama

PS. watch THE ZOMBIE KING (on YouTube) if you dare...

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Rach has some REJECTED NEWS for you this week, and COREY FELDMAN updates!! but most importantly... apparently there's a Basic Instinct Reboot in the works !??!! which means Rach has been sitting around writing a script for this esteemed project (just in case Joe Eszterhas can't find his way out of that paperbag..)

slide into the DM's and let me know if you are interested in being part of a polygamous marriage involving at least four husbands? @elfymama

PS. do you want to go fly a kite in the rain?

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Humans: (shouting) "we love you!!".... The Moon: "why are you so obsessed with me??"

slide into the DM's if you are also on-board with the idea of sending Nickelback into space ... if anything, just to see Ryan Peake dressed up in his sexy astronaut outfit..

PS. Lycan Subscribe if you are a werewolf who feels personally victimised by the moon @elfymama

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If you accidentally got drunk and slept with a co-worker, Rach has some tips for you! ... tangents include (but not limited to) wearing bras to red carpet events, booing the monarchy, and the long awaited return of SEVEN DEGREES OF COREY FELDMAN..

slide into the DM's and let me know where you want to be buried? @elfymama

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Rach has been forced to get up early to record The Morning Show..(and she's not happy about it) .... tangents include but not limited to: very important corpse news, the traffic report, the weather, and celebrity morning routines...

slide into the DM's and let me know how much ritualistic chanting is too much chanting first thing in the morning? @elfymama

PS. watch some waterslide fails

PPS. then watch Class Action Park on HBO

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Rach is discussing the best movies about taking drugs!! tangents include but not limited to: Leonardo DiCaprio's early career appearance in an Erotic Thriller of the 90s, ways to traumatise your children so they never strap hashish to their body and try to smuggle drugs out of an airport, and the dark history of the song Lux Aeterna from Requiem for a Dream...

slide into the DM's and let me know if you want to waste some time?? @elfymama

PS. I said nice one bruvaaaa

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