What if The Magnus Archives' favorite murderous pig got seriously into it with Black Phillip, saucy and sinister goat from The VVitch? Well, you are in luck because sometimes you have to be your own hero and write stupid fanfiction about murderous barnyard animals goring the shit out of each other. Please take a listen if you want to add objectively dumb writing into your life.

TW/CW

-Violence

-Animal violence (against each other)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahoy maties! Let's sail the seas for God in this swashbuckling episode of Cringevangelical. What would you do if your left eye was removed at an objectively young age rendering you partially blind and with a huge eye patch? Start a ministry where you call yourself a Christian Pirate and write a bunch of pirate songs about God for kids, OF COURSE! Take a listen as we dive into Christian piracy in this Patch the Pirate special!

CW/TW:

Racism

Medical Procedures/Terminal Illness

Mention of abortion

Mention of immigration

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Girls, is it sin to have a normal bodily reaction? Should you kiss before marriage? How about a nice backrub, that okay? What are the red flags in men? Do I have to be physically attracted to my partner? Am I respecting my husband as a transactional act to get any form of affection from him? These questions no one asks unless they are a sexually confused evangelical girl and so much more on my mini marriage course for evangelical women!

TW/CW

-Purity Culture (TAKE HEED)

-Slut shaming

-Inappropriate discussions of SA

-Minimization of SA

-Harmful views of sexuality

-Homophobia

-Transphobia

-Fatphobia

-Misogyny

-Chauvinism

-Mental Health minimization

-Mistreatment of women

-Verbal abuse

-Sexual abuse

-Emotional abuse

-Manipulative language

-Gaslighting

-Inappropriate discussion of divorce

-Discussion of unhealthy and toxic marriages

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Girlies, is it gay for your husband to respect and love you? We are looking over what we will be learning as good Christian wives and husbands. Also, am I a virtuous woman? What is Critical Grace Theory? Will there be oral sex in heaven? All these questions and more are answered very insufficiently in this episode of Cringvevangelical.

CW/TW

Purity Culture

Slut-shaming

Swearing

Sexual content

Mentions of oral sex

Homophobia

Transphobia

Racism

Xenophobia

Anti-semitism

Islamophobia

Mentions of marital abuse

Mentions of emotionally abusive relationships

Patriarchal Themes

Misogyny

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if your horror movies are causing a demonic influence on your home? Also, what makes a horror movie Christian, can you get rid of your demonic friends through Jesus' name, and when will Alanna ever stop rambling!? This and more on this spooky episode.

TW/CW

-Abortion

-Demonic possession

-Child abuse (not described)

-Mental Illness

-Medical Issues not being taken seriously

-Mental Illness seen as a sin

-Censorship of art and film

-Misogyny

-Poverty (discussed)

-Shame

-Classism

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Halloween doesn't need to be a time of darkness and death, it can also be a time of darkness and death as long as that darkness and death happened within the many pages of the Bible. What wouldn't the little kiddies like more than passing out Bible tracts dressed up as David and Goliath while worship songs about victory over death are playing in the background? Plus what if instead of bobbing for apples we bobbed for scripture? And what if you went trick or treating but subtlely wrote down the name and address of each of your neighbors so you could target them in future evangelical escapades??????????

These questions and more will be answered in this hauntingly holy episode.

TW/CW:

-Discussion of satanic and demonic activity

-Mentions of child abuse or neglect

-Stalking behavior described

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Banned Books Week! Let's take a little gander at how Evangelicals love a good book banning and this rando who went to Barnes and Noble to read a bunch of young adult literature (without paying) to tell us all how it's evil!

TW/CW:

-Book banning

-Government sponsored censorship

-Misogyny

-Racism

-Transphobia

-Homophobia

-Queerphobia

-JK R*wling

-Negative discussion of satanism

-Negative comments towards paganism and wicca

-Discussion of childhood trauma

-Purity culture

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever listened to worship music and thought "why is this so horny?" Well you are in luck, because I also think the same exact thing. Also, what's more casual and normal than making kids sing about eternal damnation being imminent and why exactly did "You Spin Me Right Round (Like a Record)" get a Christian cover on this musical edition of Cringevangelical.

TW/CW:

Homophobia

Negative views on self worth

Discussion of sex

Sexual innuendos

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.