Our latest mission takes us to the student film filled stopmotion world of Equinox. Follow Joey and Brian as they witness films dumbest non-heroes mercifully get wiped out by a slobbery park ranger with a dick ring.

The Criterionauts journey to the LSD-infused, blood-soaked sex dreams of House and barely make it out with their sanity intact. Those Japanese sure know how to party. It's a super good time, you guys.

Criterionauts Reinisch and Carney embark on their first english language mission where they are treated with a shocking amount of nudity for a 50 year old movie.

Mission 2 casts our explorers into the bizzaro mysterious world of France. Where young women eat spaghetti on a daily basis, smoke, and always sleep naked. Stay tuned for fluids of all kinds, long musicless scenes, and of course... more spaghetti.

Criterionauts Joey Reinisch and Brian Carney suit up for their impossible mission. To boldly watch culturally significant movies and expand their tiny brains. We now join our heroes for their first mission: Seven Samurai. Do YOU like...films? Ughh