Crude Characters DnD Podcast

And they’re off. Our characters begin a new leg of their journey, tho it may turn out to be a right arm and the other leg too. We meet Carl the captain of the Sea Fairy and set sail. Sylfyr takes the time, in secret, to fill in Sir Rogney about their extra obligations. The first day out to sea and a dragonturtle attacks, why... just why. Somehow making it to the first island, one member less, our party is stranded until the the Sea Fairy is repaired. Following through with the mission Brother N’dugu and Stonehand decide to search for the leaders of this island known as Dante’s Reach.

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*MATURE CONTENT WARNING*

The show you are about to hear contains but is not limited to: violence, inappropriate sexual language, and excessively offensive conduct. Enjoy

Ok, so our characters don’t exactly begin their new adventure but many important events transpire. Stonehand goes through a ritual to free the beast. Then a bunch of creepy priests in red robes give it to him in the worst possible way. Not having a good morning due to the wailing and howling Brother N’dugu goes looking for the secret library and finds exactly what he expected. Mostly partially recovered they prepare for the journey at hand, that they just now learn about.. Once again our masters of music and might find themselves sleeping at the bar where they fell drunkenly asleep. Sylfyr wakes up bound back to back with a snoring Sir Rogney. A deal was struck between Sylfyr and the seedy owner over the tab, tho it feels more like extortion. Consequences for everyone! this episode makes me sad on so many levels. The party comes back together. Our hungover debtors and crispy mummies gather supplies for a long journey across the sea. Also Stonehand has a good scene with an old woodworker that inhaled way to much sawdust over his lifetime. I was moved.. emotionally... and physically.

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The show you are about to hear contains but is not limited to: violence, inappropriate sexual language, and excessively offensive conduct. Enjoy

   Our characters are stuck at Myrmaizco for another day. Two party animals wake up hungover and a half a days walk from the city.. Only needing minor medical care at the moment Brother N’dugu decides to do a little research about the Grasshopper on the Hill and other old dynasties. He finds lots of interesting information including who were the creatures that inhabited this land centuries ago. Stonehand waits in stoic partial silence for daybreak when the priests will force him to change into is wolfen form. The priest explains that this is part of a ritual to stop transmission of the curse and help Stonehand control his dark side, tho it will be painful. Once back at Myrmaizco Sir Rogney, spouting “it’s rally time,” convinces Sylfyr to go out for a night of real drinking. Finding a popping bar with some fine women our two hero’s put on a show. The bard plays wonderful tunes and the Dragonborn does feats of strength, everyone gets drunk. What could go wrong? It’s a killer party and nothing bad happens. I swear.

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Two of our characters have a fun filled night while the other two, not so much. Sylfyr comforts Brother N’dugu as he violently awakens on a stone slab, screaming about herbs, covered head to toe in bandages. After recapping the last five episodes to the Priest, he informs them that the beast is sequestered and restrained. Hidden away chained to a column, Stonehand learns of his dark fate. Rongey and Sylfyr, "the able bodied," receive a new quest from the the lord of Myrmaizco to sail to the northern islands and assure their allegiance. The boat leaves in two days so they decide to go for a night on the town including drinks, brothels and debauchery. Strap on your wine goggles and court that half-orc. It’s party time!

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Immediate medical attention is needed so our characters split up. Sylfyr rushes ahead with a burned lump of disfigured flesh, also known as Stonehand and N’dugu. Rogney trails behind, two slaves in tow. Can the boys make it in time? Will Stonehand be a monster forever? What the hell is Grod saying? All these questions and more might be answered on this episode of The Adventure Zone!... Oops wrong show.

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With fairly beaten bodies and thoroughly thrashed pride our characters retreat from the hamlet and the encounter with Lobos & company. On the road back a monstrous problem arises that requires a blazing response. Stonehand and N’dugu almost die and Grod says something about something. 

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The show you are about to hear contains but is not limited to: violence, inappropriate sexual language, and excessively offensive conduct. Enjoy

Part two of our characters fighting through to the hamlet and shit goes down. Stonehand gets mauled by yellow eyes. N’dugu drops some knowledge about the church. Oh and where are the priest and the ranger? 

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We make it out of the ambush and into, wait for it, another ambush.. Creatures hidden in smoke assail our characters as they fumble through the scorched remains of the hamlet. Stonehand follows a shrouded yellow eyed figure that seems to call him out while the ranger and priest ride ahead. Way to split the party!

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Our characters are in a bit of a pickle, or should I say ambush. We may die, we may not but all we know for sure is that it was not the Dragonborn’s fault. The ranger should have done his job better, who uses hand signs anymore! Plus the Goliath picked the shortcut, just saying. I’m not gunna get into it, listen to the show.

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In the city our characters split up. This episode follows our second dynamic duo as they finish their mission to deliver a massage. After an intense game of Ball the vengeful Goliath fighter looks for the truth behind his fathers gruesome murder while our somber human monk learns terrible religious secretes. You know, same old story.

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*WARNING*

The show you are about to hear contains but is not limited to: violence, inappropriately sexual language, and excessively offensive conduct. Enjoy