Cultivation Podcast

3 IMPORTANT Takeaways

1. Change is scary to our brains, so they sabotage it by defaulting to fear.
2. Change is also craved by our brains to learn and grow.
3. Change requires taking control of your mind instead of letting your mind control you.

This final episode of Season 7 of the Cultivation Podcast wraps up our season of change by giving you the important topic of navigating change in our minds.

There's a lot happening upstairs as we go through change. Change begins inside of us with visualizing it before it manifests externally.

Our brains HATE the unknown and our brains are programmed to automate as many processes as possible. They are trying to automate instead of burning calories by thinking. That is why we often jump to conclusions and make assumptions.

When it comes to navigating change, our brain goes to the fear factor, and we start thinking about all the things we will lose or how it will fall apart. We tend to fill in the gaps with the negativity of what we've experienced in our past.

What our brain wants us not to do is the same thing it simultaneously craves - change causes our brain to grow new connections and patterns.

Knowing that neuroscience of how our brain works allows us to approach change with a more mature understanding.

You must take control of your mind instead of letting it control you. You will have to think through whether it's an imaginary outcome, a made-up scenario or if it's a real possibility.

The downside is that with any change comes the risk of it failing. But as I've said before on this podcast: Any time you fail, you grow. You learn how to do it better next time and that is how you can choose to embrace failure.

Don't be paralyzed by the fear of the unknown or anxiety of making a change, because failure to make changes in your life will result in your greatest regrets.

We want to hear your season of change: Message, comment and engage with us on YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

3 IMPORTANT Takeaways

1. Change mirrors the seven stages of grief.
2. Change is only sudden to the person not making it.
3. Change has a lot of hope but also a lot of sadness.

The Cultivation Podcast season 7 is all about exploring change and this episode is dedicated to the process of change.

Change isn't sudden. If you're thinking of making a change, you've been going through the process — you've probably struggled with it, fantasized about it, or practiced it.

And, you have probably realized that change mirrors the seven stages of grief. As you step into a new change in your life, there's hope, possibility, and excitement but when it's time to change out of that season, that hope is being let go and there a sadness. It's all part of the process.

Here are the seven stages of change:

1. Shock and denial. You don't want that season to end because it was enjoyable at one point. However, you must focus on the future potential.

1. Pain and guilt. It feels like a wound to have the guilt of leaving certain people behind. You cannot skip this stage because you need to fully understand what you're letting go.

1. Anger and bargaining. Maybe you don't want this change, but it comes whether you want it or not. But if we choose to take the responsibility and not delay it, we can move through the change.

1. Depression and loneliness. There will be times when people can't understand or comprehend the change you're going through, or the ideal you're striving for. Know that you're not the only person who has had to go through the change you're facing.

1. Upward turn. As you start to see the results of the change, you realize the hope and potential. When was the last time you did something for the first time? It's life-giving!

1. Reconstruction. You will reconstruct your mindset and become a new version of yourself. When you stop living is not death, it's when you stop growing. Change is your construction season to build yourself.

1. Acceptance and hope. Accept that change is a reality and that you are changing and growing. It's a hopeful future for your life iif you embrace and own change.

We want to hear your season of change: Message, comment and engage with us on YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

3 IMPORTANT Takeaways

1. Change causes a ripple effect.
2. Change causes doubt that requires a review of your reason for changing.
3. Change is surprising and the results aren't always clear.

The Cultivation Podcast's season of change continues with my special guest, Ryan Thogmartin. Ryan is not only my friend, but he is also an expert in navigating change.

Ryan's season of change has lasted three years. He moved from Ohio to Utah to Arizona in 2.5 years with a wife who had lived in the same place her entire life and two daughters in tow who only knew the same house and street.

This caused a generational ripple effect. Change is relative and unique. For some people, moving is a normal way of life, but Ryan uprooting his family to pursue a calling was a major event in his and his family's life.

This calling resulted in sadness at leaving the home Ryan and his family knew, but an excitement for the future of that calling. Change is a season where joy and grief coexist.

Ryan's story is proof that the tension of change is what produces growth. At some point, you will realize friends, family, and coworkers are on a different frequency, and they can't see anything from the same lens. That's why you need to give yourself permission to recognize that is okay because it's not selfish or arrogant.

Ryan also discusses his season of doubt where his family had to avoid the urge to go backwards. Steer through that confusion by knowing change is going to stretch you and grow you, and change for the sake of developing is the core of the reason for change.

His story also illustrates that change gives the gift of surprise where the results aren't obvious and gets clearer when you walk into that change. He persevered through struggles to pursue his family's calling, and each step revealed itself as each choice was made.

We want to hear your season of change: Message, comment and engage with us on YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

3 IMPORTANT Takeaways

1. Change can be lonely, but you can use that time to work on yourself.
2. Change can prove a lot about you to yourself.
3. Change brings anxiety at first but a lot of freedom afterwards.

We're continuing Season 7 of the Cultivation Podcast, the season of change, and are joined by a special guest…My daughter! Kylie Hammel joins us to talk about her own change.

Kylie will discuss the isolation of COVID, no community, and no comfort of going back to her old community, and how that forced her to embrace that time alone and work on herself, set goals and plan for the future.

As a high school senior, she had her year upended by the COVID-19 pandemic. From dealing with all the senior traditions being ripped away to working through that change and embracing it through a year spent at home during the pandemic before refocusing to study abroad in England at the University of Chester.

She talks about navigating travel and living in a foreign country, and how she learned to build her own community. Then she was surprised to learn her family is changing themselves by moving out of her childhood home.

But that initial season of change revealed a lot about herself in terms of perseverance, overcoming adversity, and pride in achieving goals.

There's a lesson that the anxiety of change up front is offset by the freedom of making change happen. Don't get paralyzed by that anxiety so you can achieve the freedom of that decision on the back end.

Kylie's story shows that change causes some of the most profound loneliness in your life - whether it's moving, a new job, or a new school - and that change is unique to you. But you can work through it and create your own community.

We want to hear your season of change: Message, comment and engage with us on YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

3 IMPORTANT Takeaways

1. Change is emotional.
2. Change is a process.
3. Change comes with surprises.

Today we continue Season 7 of the Cultivation Podcast, talking about my own story with the hopes that you can relate.

I took a hiatus because my family and I navigated some major changes in our lives — we made the massive decision about one year ago to change careers after a decade in the ministry and move from California to Arizona, while my oldest daughter entered college and my youngest entered high school.

I had to go through that process to embrace that change. I wanted to be super intentional about the next season of our lives serving people as life and health coaches to awaken others to their potential.

My wife and I felt called by destiny and wanted to call our own shots. We made this decision to best shape our future and be in control of choices we had relinquished to others.

So, how did I come to this decision? There was a lot of wrestling and dialogue. There wasn't any negative, which made the decisions harder!

I also discovered there is a lot of emotion tied to identity. Navigating change in our lives, we need to own the emotional side of it.

Change is a never-ending process, but I want you to own the process so you can be more efficient and take personal responsibility to lead the change in your life.

For every change, there is a reaction. Even being proactive about the change in your life, some of those reactions are surprises. So, you need to embrace that unscripted part of change.

These surprises can come in the reaction from your family, financial opportunities, and discovering a new community who are going through similar changes. As we embrace the surprises, it won't derail our drive to steer through these changes.

As a result of this change, I can't tell you what it has done to enrich our lives and I want that for you too.

We want to hear your season of change: Message, comment and engage with us on YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

3 IMPORTANT Takeaways

1. Change is universal.
2. We can't deny or eliminate change.
3. We can guide and steer change.

I'm back! Welcome to Season 7 of the Cultivation Podcast, which is all about the journey of change in your life.

Change is a universal human experience. That got drive home to me when I spent hours upon hours talking with my grandmother about all the changes she had seen in her life.

While your lifetime may not see the switch from gas lamp street lights to electrical lighting or switchboard telephones to automated digital calls, there has been change in my life and there has been change in your life.

Since the day we were born, we have been experiencing change in our lives and the lives of people around us. We may have been resistant to it or embraced it, loved it or hated it, or were emotional about it or logical about it.

But…We can't deny or eliminate change in our life.

So, how do we embrace and navigate the change in our life?

You will experience change, and I will help you to determine how you will respond to the change cultivating in your life right now.

In this season, we will explore:

• How can I map out what I want the results of change to be?
• The unknowns of change
• Understanding the season of change we are in
• Asking if we are being provoked to change

We want to hear your season of change: Message, comment and engage with us on YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

We're closing out season 6 of the Cultivation Podcast with a very special guest...My wife, Jami Hammel! She joins me for the second time on the podcast for an unscripted discussion as we wrap up the theme of self-care.

We talk about what self-care looks like, overcoming parental guilt, navigating the seasons of life, the need for a date night, supporting each other's hobbies, and sharing success.

See some of our discussion below and be sure to listen so you hear the full, in-depth discussion:

Tom: What is self care to you?

Jami: Self-care is a lot of different things and it looks older when I was younger with young kids. Self-care is a little bit of alone time. I enjoy shopping alone or getting a manicure, pedicare, massage, or getting coffee by myself.

Tom: What would you say to yourself about the guilt of self-care?

Jami: There's the "Mom guilt" of feeling we're not taking care of the kids, and you have to realize it's okay to take care of yourself. You can't go, go, go all the time, you need down time.

Tom: How important is self care to a relationship?

Jami: Date night is super important, we do it every week. Maybe it's simple, we just go out for coffee and talk...Being intentional is the key because it's never perfect.

Tom: How important is it to support each other's interests and share successes?

Jami: It's super important to give you space to do what they love to do, even if it's not your biggest interest.

Tom: I try to be invested in your success. Jamie is a health coach and the face of that, I'm the support of that. So, I'm always trying to figure out where I can help and I'm seeing the reverse investment in myself.

Jami: I wouldn't be as successful without your help and encouragement. And, everyone can do that for their spouse. I think words of encouragement go a long way.

Season 6 of the Cultivation Podcast continues its journey discussing the necessity and value of self-care. This week's episode is about the value of taking care of ourselves to we can stay active.

We have to build in healthy motion in our lives to improve ourselves physically. I don't mean getting a Hollywood superhero physique, but one of the worst things we can do to ourselves is to stay stagnant.

I don't love the gym, but I love having the energy, strength and endurance to show up in my loved ones' lives and be the best version of myself.

So, what are some steps for promoting physical-care?

1. Sleep — Develop a healthy sleep rhythm. We're never going to feel motivated to do jumping jacks if we don't have the right amount of sleep.
2. Diet — What you're putting into the gas tank will determine how well our engine runs. Our blood pressure, our strength, even our joint health is determined by what we eat.
3. Eating — Take a lunch break! Not eating because you're so busy is a terrible habit. Eat in rhythm and on time.
4. Movement — And if you're on a break, go for a walk. Healthy motion doesn't mean running a 5K or bench press, it can be a short walk around your workplace or walking your dog down the street.
5. Stretching — Make sure you're mobile enough to accomplish your goals and commitments. Stretching promotes movement and that means being able to do what you need to do
6. Rest — Take your vacation time. Not taking the time to rest and recover means the world isn't getting the best version of you.

This week's Cultivation Podcast continues the journey of self-care by exploring how you can take care of yourself professionally so you can perform your job at the highest level possible.

You can't improve as an employee if you're worn out, burnt out, or bored. Showing up as the best employee possible is not just about serving your company, it's about being your best self to leave an impact on other people.

Here are some ways to take care of yourself in the workplace so you can achieve your potential:

1. Engage with Supervisor — Meet with your supervisor to see what their expectations are. Sometimes we set ourselves up with what we imagine our work expectations to be, only to find out they are completely different. Or if you own a business, meet with other business owners to find ways to raise the bar for yourself.
2. Challenge Yourself — Employees become lazy on the job when they get bored, which is why it's important to challenge yourself in the work environment. Every job has its own parts we don't like, but the goal is to overcome that and grow from it.
3. Set up a Peer Group — Set up a group built for challenging one another and taking you all to the next level. A community for workplace tasks that is not about improving the company, but support to be a better employee and perform in a professional way.
4. Set Healthy Boundaries — Have boundaries with staff and clients to avoid taking work home so you aren't drained. You can not give out your cell number or don't answer emails/work calls after 9 p.m. Very few things are a true emergency, so don't let someone else's emergency become your problem.
5. Invest in Your Business IQ — Are you growing your skills? Get new training, read business books, listen to business podcasts to raise the bar for yourself.
6. Attend Professional Development — We live in a digital age, but going in-person to conventions and conferences is super important. You have to soak up that environment and energy of a live event because it transforms your mindset.

Season 6 of the Cultivation Podcast is dedicated to self-care. This episode dives into the sticky subject of emotions. Keeping emotions pent up is a terrible idea because it means they will explode. So, you need to process what we're dealing with in order to avoid a hurricane of emotions.

Emotional care is about allowing yourself to experience your full range of emotions, embrace that, and process it maturely.

My household uses the phrase "Stop, challenge and choose". I do that to identify why I am experiencing that emotion.

Below are some ways you can promote emotional care in your life:

1. Experience — None of us are immune to emotions, so the key is to conquer those emotions by experiencing them. But that doesn't mean letting them control you. Part of that includes having a group you can vent to in a healthy, honest, and clear way.
2. Identify Emotions — Assign an emotion to a task, adventure, or workload. If you aren't intentional, you're allowing yourself to be controlled by your emotions. For example: Avoid building stress at work by celebrating successes.
3. Have an Outlet — Find something you can enjoy, use music to put you in a positive headspace, or find a quiet place to pause and gain control over your emotions.
4. Have an Accountability Partner — You need someone who will call you on your junk. When you're blinded by your emotions, it's important to have that person who will check you. Or when you hit a high stress point, communicate that to select people and give them the ability to call you on it.
5. Let It Go — If you're dealing with bitterness or anger towards someone, it will cause your emotions to rule you. Part of emotional self care is to let some things go so that your emotions toward a person/situation/past experience won't hold you captive to your emotions.