This week’s episode of the Cultivation Podcast continues the season’s theme of self care by discussing relationships. Relationships add meaning and purpose to your life. 

How many great memories do you have by yourself? And how many solo achievements do you wish you had been able to share with someone else?

Nothing good happens in isolation and the world we live in has a lot of mental stress as people feel more isolated and less connected. 

Here are some ways to maintain supportive, healthy and diverse relationships:

1. Prioritize — Don’t use your personality type as an excuse for not building healthy, supportive relationships. For all my introverts out there, being alone is how you refresh but you still need to be with other people. To extroverts, just because you’re outgoing doesn’t mean you have real friends, I know many extroverts who are lonely. 
2. Recognize Your Responsibility — There are different levels of responsibility and importance for relationships. My wife takes priority above my friends because I promised that to her at our wedding. For my daughters, I am the most influential relationship in their life right now and it only helps them when I prioritize that relationship.
3. Share Experiences — Make relationships about experiences, not about stuff. Giving gifts is a great way to add value, but sharing experiences is a great way to create memories and bring you closer together. Take vacations or have that backyard barbecue as a relational investment.
4. Set Boundaries — Set healthy boundaries with your work schedule so you have time to spend with your family. Go to bed early so you have the right mindset and energy level for quality time with your friends and family. Carve out time in your schedule for getting into your community. 
5. Form Diverse Relationships — Be friends with people who don’t share the same views as you. We become so much more mature and enriched when we have actual conversations that don’t fully align with us. My greatest growth potential comes in my relationships, so I challenge you to have relationships with people who are different from you.

This week’s Cultivation Podcast continues the journey of self-care and self-investment in order to be the best YOU possible, with special guest Vanessa Suazo. Vanessa is Tom’s personal trainer and joins the podcast to talk about 

Vaness and Tom talk about her dream job, and how it shifted from veterinarian to journalism and now helping people take control of their health. 

Tom notes that people who do a job that they hate and asks Vanessa how she made a change to follow her passion, with Vanessa revealing that it was others showing her how talented she is helping others in their fitness. 

And, she admits that her own personal health is important but knows she has to lead by example in order to help others achieve their goals.

She shares insight into knowing how clients have crossed over from “can’t” to achieving and that impact of seeing growth and progress, saying her job is fulfilling because she sees people bettering themselves. 

Tom says everyone needs a coach and she says that coaching is unique because it requires a close personal relationship. Vanessa reveals the best part about being Tom’s coach — he’s disciplined and wants to do things the right way — and her least favorite thing — all the questions.

She gives some free advice to get them started on their health journey: Do the basics. Vanessa says not to dive head first into a fancy, strenuous program. She says to eat well, drink enough water, and get sleep first before aiming big.

The pair even get into discussing their favorite lower body workouts, Vanessa’s next goal of training for a daunting Spartan Ultra Race, and how much Tom complains about burpees.

This season of the Cultivation Podcast is about how we can invest in and rejuvenate ourselves via self-care. So far, we’ve talked about our psychology, work, and emotions but we need to look at our whole being, not just one aspect. 

This includes spirituality. Spirituality is a sense of perspective beyond our day to day life. It’s about recognizing life isn’t just about the day to day grind, there’s another plane and realm. Personally, my spirituality is my faith that Jesus Christ is the son of God and he died to remove the barrier of sin from God. 

Spirituality is a key component to who we are as a person — our purpose is to impact other people and we can’t step into that purpose if we ignore the spiritual side of our being.

Below are action steps on building spiritual care in your life: 

1. Reflect — In Western society’s rat race, we need that silence and time to reflect. That means prayer, meditation, journaling, or enjoying nature. It works best when you do these regularly.
2. Growth — Challenge yourself by reading/listening to scriptures daily to learn and studying sermons to get a different perspective. Getting the same views and lessons only stagnates growth.
3. Go to Church — There is something powerful about being in a live experience. We’re built for community and so is our spirit. Soaking up that energy and atmosphere is super important to feeding our spirit.
4. Be in Nature — Look at the majesty of creation. Taking adventures like hikes and camping are fun, but doing something new creates an awakening. Being in nature can awaken your spiritual being.
5. Honor Others Spirituality — Honoring the spiritual being of others can form a connection. Experience other people’s creativity and spirit. Share the spirituality of another person. 
6. Have Conversations — Schedule time to have conversations with others about spirituality. Recognize spirituality is who you are, so share that journey with a community. 

Season 6 of the Cultivation Podcast is all about self-care and the process of taking time to be intentional about how we’re growing and leading ourselves.

Self-care seems like a crazy topic in our self-centered world, but we often neglect our self-care because we are trying to chase after a better version of ourselves!

Self-care starts with our mindset. Many of our obstacles take place in our minds, and we give up when we get overwhelmed. 

Psychological self-care is about going to a place where we can clear our heads and engage in those key areas of our lives and refresh. So here are some steps on how to do that:

1. Get enough rest — We are overworked trying to overachieve and we don’t get the right amount of sleep, which impacts almost all areas of our body. Sleeping actually resets your brain. It is medicine to your mind.
2. Keep a gratitude journal — There is a lot of negativity in this world, so write out things you are grateful for. Maybe it’s as simple as a beautiful sunset or a good meal. But if you make it a routine, when you’re having a bad moment you can reflect on positive areas in your life.
3. Seek outside help — We love our friends and family, but at some point you need to take an inventory of the amount of outside help you have available. Michael Jordan won 6 NBA Championships, but he had a coach. So, if the No. 1 player in that sport’s history has a coach, then you need a professional who tries to better you.
4. Find a hobby away from work — We need downtime, so find a hobby that provides some unplug time. After you engage with your hobby, you should feel refreshed but don’t consume too much of your time, money, or relationship capital.
5. Unplug from technology — Put away the phone, let that email sit, don’t get on Facebook. Interruptions in today’s world are numerous, but you need time away from those constant interruptions that continue to take away from your brain. You can’t give the best effort and version of yourself if you are constantly being distracted. 
6. Make time to relax — Buy a hammock, go hiking, or just relax on the couch with a book. We have to schedule time to rest and relax. Allow life not to run you, but for you to run life.
7. Engage in positive friendships — Relationships have an incredible power to positively impact our education, finances, and mindset. Our peers set the bar of what is normal, so make sure you are around positive friends who influence your life. 

We are closing out Season 5 of the Cultivation Podcast with Tom’s wife, Jami! She returns to wrap up the words to live by season by discussing “Dreaming and Confidence”.

Confidence is defined as a feeling or consciousness of one’s power or resilience in one’s circumstances; faith or belief one will act in a right proper way; quality or state of being certain; relation of trust or intimacy.

While Jami is Tom’s wife of 21 years, a mother, musician and Health Coach, she had to learn confidence. In her life, she built that by getting healthy because it brought on another level of capability. But she adds that means getting healthy in all areas of her life and relearning things about herself. 

Tom says we are the single most influential voice in our own lives, what we say to ourselves about ourselves carries a lot of weight. Healthy self-talk means shutting out negative thoughts of unworthiness or incapability. That can be as simple as recognizing that what we do or say to ourselves in the morning will shape our day. 

Dreaming is defined as “to consider a possibility or imagine”. Jami underscores the importance of dreaming by revealing how three years ago she really started to dream and saw opportunities come, the dreams get bigger, and more dreams start awakening. She encourages you to dream big, and don’t feel guilty about wanting more because it’s okay to accomplish your dreams. 

She says we get stifled in our dreams by worrying about what others will think about our dreams. But she notes that realizing your dreams can inspire others.

Tom and Jami give the following tools for accomplishing your dreams:

• Make a dreamboard. Don’t be scared to put what you want to have or accomplish, especially when they can help other people.
• Choose a word for each year. This can be a theme for how you live your life and approach your year. 
• See it behind your eyes. When you close your eyes, what did your five-year-old self see? Over time, those dreams get pushed down and we need to rediscover what we wanted.

The penultimate episode of Season 5 of the Cultivation Podcast features a very special guest...Tom’s wife! Her first time on the podcast will see the couple discuss “Purpose and Comparison” as they wrap up the words to live by season.

Jami is not only Tom’s wife of 21 years, but she is a mother, musician and Health Coach.

Comparison is the examination of two or more items to establish similarities and dissimilarities. Tom and Jami have seen people be paralyzed by comparisons. Jami advises that while unhealthy comparisons can kill your motivation, healthy comparison can inspire you to be better.

Tom explains unhealthy comparisons are based on comparing yourself to others who have a special skill or unique ability that doesn’t translate to your skills. Meanwhile, healthy motivation is about emulating people you look up to and comparing yourself to identify your growth. 

Jami’s tips for overcoming unhealthy comparisons are to create a mindset that you need to know who you are and be comfortable with yourself. You can’t be anyone else, you need to bring your unique skills and talents to the table. 

She also advises you not to measure yourself with a public image. Public personas, like on social media, are a cultivated and perfected image that doesn’t reflect reality. There’s so many things behind the scenes we don’t see, we can’t compare ourselves to it.

Purpose is defined as something set up as an object or end to be obtained. Jami discusses that while being a mom and wife has a big purpose in her life, getting her body and mind healthy has awakened a new purpose in her life. Being a health coach helps people find their purpose in life.

Jami and Tom note that a major obstacle to finding purpose is getting healthy. Jami points out that when you start getting your body healthy, you get more confidence and it shows you that you’re capable of more than you imagined. It also showcases that you need to invest in yourself.

Lastly, Jami mentions that when it comes to finding purpose, we need a coach in our life. And not just health, but all areas of our lives. 

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3 Must-Hear Takeaways

1. Sometimes we have to stop planning and just take action.
2. The hardest part of action is getting started.
3. Give yourself grace because small actions lead to a breakthrough. 

In this episode, Tom continues the Season 5 theme of words to live by with his explanation of “Action”. Tom notes this podcast is about cultivating dreams, purpose, and possibility. But before we can achieve that, we have to be people of action.  

The simplest definition of action is “a thing done” or “the accomplishment of a thing over a period of time”. Getting things done is taking action. Action is over time, done in stages or with the possibility of repetition. 

My nature is a planner, but I have had to grow to where at some point I take action. Sometimes we are educated enough and have enough details to where we need to take action and allow the path to become clear while we’re on the journey. 

You are capable of learning as you go. Stop thinking and researching, just go do. Since we don't know what we don’t know, it keeps us open to possibilities we might not have considered if we waited until we had all the facts. 

Taking action is the energy we need, but it can be one of the hardest steps. When a rocket is launched, the most energy spent is getting off the ground. Action produces momentum. In life, there is usually more talk than action. But inaction doesn’t get celebrated, bring wins, or give us a breakthrough. 

A year of action means taking the steps to accomplish all the things we’ve been dreaming about. Give yourself grace for the process. Part of the journey is taking the small action to achieve the breakthrough down the road. It takes time, so break it down and figure out what needs action today, this week or this month.

So, what are you waiting on to get started? You are unique and special. Now, it’s time to take action and get started — write that book, launch that business, take responsibility for your health, improve your finances.

www.ourcultivatedlives.com

3 Must-Hear Takeaways

1. Have a voice in your life who can identify your growth.
2. Measure your growth by setting a baseline and being specific about effort.
3. Celebrate your progress to train your mind for motivation.

Season 5 of the Cultivation Podcast continues to give words to live by with an episode on “Identity”. Tom is passionate about identity because it keeps them on course or knocks them off course to achieving their goals.

Identity is defined as the distinguishing character or personality of an individual or the relation established by psychological identification. Simply, identity is about how you label yourself. How do you answer the question, “Who are you?” 

We don’t typically choose our identity, we look to personality tests or others close to us to tell us who we are. We have to decide if we will let others define us or we take responsibility and have an intentional identity. 

My identity is evolving because I am constantly growing. Instead of having an accidental identity, I want a personal and intentional identity. That helps me frame and formulate my investment in every relationship, it helps me think about the things I put into others’ lives. 

My choices are based around who I want to become. Nothing about my life is accidental. That doesn’t mean my life is scripted, but the inputs are. There is still the mystery of what I don’t know about myself and looking to discover about/within myself.

This podcast is a foundational motivation for people who want to have an intentional identity. We built this, other resources on our website, and I wrote my book because I believe you want an intentional identity so you can become the person you want to become.

www.ourcultivatedlives.com

Season 5 of the Cultivation Podcast continues with special guest Denise Korenek. Because this season is all about words to live by, Tom and Denise will discuss “Silver Linings”. 

Denise Korenek was raised to do anything she set her mind to. She combined that with her adventurous side to become the holder of a world record. Denise set the record for bicycle land speed for both man and woman at a staggering 183.9 mph.

While that is the highlight, Denise had to overcome a slew of obstacles to get there. She notes that silver linings during that process played a pivotal role in her setting the world record.

She says there are silver linings every day for everyone. The pivotal moment for establishing the mindset to look for silver linings was when her dad passed away. While attending a transformational workshop, Denise had to find what gift she received in his passing. It opened her eyes that positives can be found in anything.

Tom notes that you get what you’re looking for. A lot of people wait for disappointments or look for flaws but the idea of always looking for a silver lining is how you find them. It gives us the strength to overcome difficulties and learn from them so we can grow.

Denise adds that looking for the positives can come down to the words we use, she points out something as simple as the phrase “No problem” has two negatives together. She suggests saying “All good” because those little things can add up to make a difference.

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3 Must-Hear Takeaways

1. Have a voice in your life who can identify your growth.
2. Measure your growth by setting a baseline and being specific about effort.
3. Celebrate your progress to train your mind for motivation.

Season 5 of the Cultivation Podcast is all about words to live by and this episode’s word is “Growth”. Tom explains his passion for growth and why we need to be growing in our lives.

Growth is defined as progressive development; an increase or expansion. Ask yourself how are you growing your mind, soul, skills, purpose, or possibilities? Growth should be happening, you should not be in the same place!

Growth gives us more independence and freedom? What are you dependent on? How do you need to grow and expand your emotions, understanding, and appetite for adventure?

The hard part is that we don’t often see our own growth. We need people close to us who can give us perspective and identify areas where we grew. Find the voice who can identify those areas of growth in your life.

Measure your growth. Identify your current reality to set a baseline for any area you want to grow in. Be specific about how or what effort it will require.

Then, you need to celebrate progress to train your mindset and build motivation. That is a key element because it keeps us motivated to keep growing.

My friend David A. Specht says that our brains are meant to keep growing. Maybe you’re not experiencing the fullness of life because you’ve stopped growing. We have to keep learning and growing.

I ask you, when was the last time you learned something for the first time? 

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