Aces (people who identify as asexual) have been stigmatised, misunderstood, or just plain forgotten in our conversations around love and dating. This creates a blindspot in the conversation around sex, social norms and desire itself. Author & journalist, Angela Chen, talks to the Curious Meerkat about her 2020 book "Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society and the Meaning of Sex": how sexual desire plays such a big role in how we see and interact with the world; imagine not being in on this social script, and needing to reassure your partner that your own sexuality has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with yourself?
Asexuality is a gendered experience either way. We talk about how women are sexualised and how bizarre it is that a big part of a woman's value in society is related to her unconscious (and unwilling?) ability to excite sexual desire in others. Parallel with this, men who identify as ace face similarly toxic ideas about their own sexuality and masculinity.
Angela shares the kinds of conversations she has had with her partners, as well as insight from other aces and we spend some time contemplating the difference between romantic love and friendship. We also talk about consent, the difference between enthusiastic consent and willing consent.
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- Angela's website: http://www.angelachen.org/ace.html
Emily Nagoski's website: https://www.emilynagoski.comEssay on consent that mention's Emily's model: https://asexualagenda.wordpress.com/2015/01/11/mapping-the-grey-area-of-sexual-experience-consent-compulsory-sexuality-and-sex-normativity/Lux Alptraum's essay on the Myth of the Male Libido: https://fusion.tv/story/280614/the-myth-of-the-male-libido/amp/Independent bookstores South Africa: https://pensouthafrica.co.za/independent-bookstores-to-support-in-almost-every-corner-of-south-africa/- Nico Venter @artofnicoventer on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/artofnicoventer/?hl=en)
@aloecreatives on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/aloecreatives/)- Lil Miss Beats @lil_miss_beats on Instagram: (https://www.instagram.com/lil_miss_beats/?hl=en)
On Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6n6GPBkCD07CNB3ZhEetu1On Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCheAlHLojDnNPBKPbMZLp6g